Alf’s Twelfth Bit
BALLAD FOR THE TIMES' SPECIAL SILVER NUMBER
Sez the Times a silver lining
Is what has set us pining,
Montague, Montague!
In the season sad and weary
When our minds are very bleary,
Montague, Montague!
There is Sir Hen. Deterding
His phrases interlarding,
Montague, Montague!
With the this and that and what
For putting silver on the spot,
Montague, Montague!
Just drop it in the slot
And it will surely boil the pot,
Montague, Montague!
Gold, of course, is solid too,
But some silver set to stew
Might do, too. Montague!
With a lively wood-pulp ‘ad’.
To cheer the bad and sad,
Montague, Montague!
poem by Ezra Pound
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Pressure
There was a kind of pressure, in the room,
I mean, it wasn't anything tangible but it was there
and he looked about him to try to spot the culprit.
A suspicious character was drinking brandy,
he could certainly be the one, but wait,
there she was, a tall red head with hawk like eyes.
They looked at each other and then she crooked her finger,
"yes… you" she mouthed! "Come here, talk to me"
He slowly walked towards her, settling at her side.
"It's cold for the time of year", he whispered.
"Not cold enough" was the coded reply.
Then she took out a yellow glove from her bag.
"When are you going to introduce me? " she asked
"That's right, " she said, "I'm from the ministry"
and I want you to act as though we're old friends.
"O.K." he replied, "slip me the key first and I'll
take you over. The stooge is that small,
rather portly man in the black bow tie."
"But can he lead us to Nightingales, " she asked
They've killed two of our spies already.
At that she dropped the yellow glove on the floor.
The lights went out and as they fumbled in the dark
the pressure grew……….do you feel it?
Nah, its just that dodgy guy sitting next to you.
************************************* ************
Footnote:
No spies were killed or yellow gloves
dropped during the making
of this episode.
However, some fumbling
did take place.
*********************************** ***************
Next episode:
Dazed and sore, Montague came round,
feeling pressure on his head
which seemed to be warm and comforting.
It was Marjorie's soft hand.
"Are you alright, my dear" she said,
looking concerned and worried.
Blood dripped down Montague's cheek,
he'd been hit on the head with a sharp object!
"Where is she? " he stammered, "She still has the key"
"Leave her to us" said the man in the black bow tie
"We've got it all under control,
Just tell us who sent you! "
Monty's eyes rolled back in his head.
The pressure was all too hard to take
and Marjorie's perfume had
triggered off his allergy.
Or was this a counter plot to extract the truth?
Did they know he was allergic to Channel no 5?
Too late! A sharp pain in Montague's chest
saw the end of him…….
poem by Ruth Walters
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A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie.
quote by Charles Edward Montague
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Girls marry for love. Boys marry because of a chronic irritation that causes them to gravitate in the direction of objects with certain curvilinear properties.
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Fright Night
Colin Farrell, David Tennant, Anton Yelchin, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Imogen Poots, Toni Collette, Dave Franco, Reid Ewing, Emily Montague, Tina Borek
from Fright Night (2011)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Holy Ghost! Dispel Our Sadness
Holy Ghost! dispel our sadness;
Pierce the clouds of nature's night.
Come, Thou source of joy and gladness,
Breathe Thy life, and spread Thy light.
Author of our new creation,
Bid us all Thine influence prove;
Make our souls Thy habitation;
Shed abroad the Saviour's love.
poem by Augustus Montague Toplady
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An easy outlet
Is it because I am a Montague
And that you are a Capulet
That we seek for an outlet?
Is it because we find in each other
What we longed for
That we pull each other?
Is it because it is a mirage
To us, who are in cages
That we look for a vantage?
Is it because I came to the stage,
Volley away from your age
That we are in safe passage?
Is it because we are in stress
To stray away from monotony
That we strike a harmony?
Whatsoever it may be,
We find in our love rhythm.
That give us due rhymes
Should we plug a harmless outlet?
11.11.2000, Pmdi
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Lord, Let Me Not Thy Courts Depart
Lord, let me not thy courts depart,
Nor quit thy mercy-seat,
Before I feel thee in my heart,
And there the Saviour meet.
Water the seed in weakness sown,
And ever more improve:
Make me a garden of thine own;
May ev'ry flow'r be love!
O send my soul in peace away;
For both my Lord hath bought:
And let my heart, exhulting, say,
I've found the pearl I sought!
poem by Augustus Montague Toplady
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I feel like Eve
I feel like Eve wanting the forbidden fruit.
Told to stay away but still longing for the sweet taste.
I feel like Juliet in love with Romeo.
Told to stay away from the Montague.
Still in love with him, knowing that it was but his name that was the enemy.
I feel like Cinderella who went to the ball and found prince charming.
Who swept her off her feet.
poem by Trinidad Villafranca
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Father of Love, to Thee I Bend
Father of love, to thee I bend
My heart, and lift mine eyes;
O let my pray'r and praise ascend
As odours to the skies.
Thy pard'ning voice I come to hear,
To know thee as thou art:
Thy ministers can reach the ear,
But thou must touch the heart.
O stamp me in thy heav'nly mould,
And grant thy word appl'd
May bring forth fruit an hundred fold
And speak me justify'd.
poem by Augustus Montague Toplady
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There Is Mercy With Thee
Lord, should'st thou weigh my righteousness
Or mark what I have done amiss,
How should thy servant stand?
Tho' others might, yet surely I
Must hide my face, nor dare to cry
For mercy at thy hand.
But thou art loth thy bolts to shoot;
Backward and slow to execute
The vengeance due to me:
Thou dost not willingly reprove,
For all the mild effects of love
Are center'd, Lord, in thee.
Shine, then, thou all-subduing light,
The powers of darkness put to flight
Nor from me ever part:
From earth to heaven be thou my guide,
And O, above each gift beside,
Give me an upright heart.
poem by Augustus Montague Toplady
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Refining Fuller, Make Me Clean
Refining Fuller, make me clean,
On me thy costly pearl bestow:
Thou art thyself the pearl I prize,
The only joy I seek below.
Disperse the clouds that damp my soul
And make my heart unfit for thee:
Cast me not off, but seal me now
Thine own peculiar property.
Look on the wounds of Christ for me,
My sentence graciously reprieve:
Extend thy peaceful sceptre, Lord,
And bid the dying traitor live.
Tho' I've transgress'd the rules prescrib'd
And dar'd the justice I adore,
Yet let thy smiling mercy say,
Depart in peace, and sin no more.
poem by Augustus Montague Toplady
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How Vast the Benefits Divine
How vast the benefits divine which we in Christ possess!
We are redeemed from guilt and shame and called to holiness.
But not for works which we have done, or shall hereafter do,
Hath God decreed on sinful men salvation to bestow.
The glory, Lord, from first to last, is due to Thee alone;
Aught to ourselves we dare not take, or rob Thee of Thy crown.
Our glorious Surety undertook to satisfy for man,
And grace was given us in Him before the world began.
This is Thy will, that in Thy love we ever should abide;
That earth and hell should not prevail to turn Thy Word aside.
Not one of all the chosen race but shall to heav’n attain,
Partake on earth the purposed grace and then with Jesus reign.
poem by Augustus Montague Toplady
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Lord, Save Us, We Perish
Pilot of the soul, awake,
Save us for thy mercies' sake;
Now rebuke the angry deep,
Save, O save thy sinking ship!
Stand at the helm, our vessel steer,
Mighty on our side appear
Saviour, teach us to descry
Where the rocks and quicksands lie.
The waves shall impotently roll,
If thou 'rt the anchor of the soul:
At thy word the wind shall cease,
Storms be hush'd to perfect peace.
Be thou our haven of retreat,
A rock to fix our wav'ring feet,
Teach us to own thy sovereign sway,
Whom the winds and seas obey.
poem by Augustus Montague Toplady
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