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Edward Iacona
In math it's taught Pi R Square
But this is what I've found
No matter how you slice it
Pi is usually round.
poem by Edward Iacona
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Mating Menu
MATING MENU
Edward Iacona
Looks, position and some wealth are
The main dishes on the dating platter.
And if one has the last one as a rich dessert.
The first two courses won't much matter.
poem by Edward Iacona
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Off The Hook
OFF THE HOOK
Edward Iacona
My kids don't like fish very much
But I could not be happier.
They aren't eating at home tonight
So I'll make Salmon or Tilapia.
poem by Edward Iacona
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Square Peg, Round Hole
He's a square peg in a round hole
Misfit in a slick world
Don't play the game
Don't do what he's told
He's a square peg in a round hole
Square peg don't care
The bright lights he's not there
Catch the shadows see him slip away
Square peg that's what they say
Square peg, Suare peg
Square peg, you have got to be strong
Square peg, he's got his own song
Square peg, I'll see you around
Square peg, face down
Square peg, round hole
song performed by by Chris Rea
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Blame Game
THE BLAME GAME
Edward Iacona
When choosing a different life path
One may not get just what they thought.
Even Columbus wound up somewhere
Other than where he sought.
She demanded her new journey
As her family begged her, 'No! '
And as witnesses to her false words and deeds,
She is reaping what she did sow.
One is accountable for their actions,
And with all due respect,
No matter books read and voices heard,
What the heck did she expect?
So here's a murderous little metaphor
That could be defended with vigor,
When someone gets shot; do you blame the gun,
Or the one who pulled the trigger?
poem by Edward Iacona
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Ter-mights?
TER-MIGHTS?
Edward Iacona
It's a very frustrating feeling,
When one can enjoy some "SALSA",
If one needs to come up with Oak
And all one has is Balsa.
poem by Edward Iacona
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You're Toast
YOU'RE TOAST
Edward Iacona
When it comes to getting married
There is this lesson to learn,
Beware of toasting flutes that say,
"To Whom It May Concern".
Another version that can cause stress
Or might leave one quite perplexed,
Would be the matched pair of glasses
That refers to you as, "NEXT".
poem by Edward Iacona
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So, What's Noose?
SO, WHAT'S NOOSE?
Edward Iacona
There's a magazine about weddings
That is named, "THE KNOT".
It has articles about marriage
And bridal fashions that are hot
There's focus on the Bride - to - be
And about having her special day.
Here's pre-marital advice for the grooms,
Is just leave off the "K"
poem by Edward Iacona
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Round Room
My room is round when I lay down, when I wake up it's square
When I go outside it's on a spiral set of stairs
The people that surround me are waiting out there
In a round room they can't find me anywhere
Right angle rooms drive me crazier each day
Put me in a box I know I'm never going to play
Put me in a square room and I won't know what to say
I want a round room at the end of the day
I had an apartment, four corners on the walls
Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep there at all
I want a curve to the place where I stay
I want a round room at the end of the day
If I pass out take me to the round church
Where echoes resound
And my spirit is found
And when I float high
Take my arm and I'll fly you by
The outskirts of town, to a garden that's round
I went to the lighthouse and I liked the view
I looked out the window and I could see you
Put me in a square house and I won't have a clue
I want a round room just to be with you
song performed by by Phish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Oy! Me Faithful
OY! YE FAITHFUL
Edward Iacona
The tree is down, the decorations stored
And a new year has come at last.
The celebrations are all over,
It's officially, Christmas past.
A gift one desires is always great
But in taking some poetic license,
What I wish for most of all
Would be her Christmas presence
She left us for her new age dreams
While we get along to the best of our ability.
Will she ever realize the harm she's done?
Well, there is always the possibility.
Someday she might just see the light,
And want to return as wife and mom.
And that to me will surely be
The best Christmas yet to come.
poem by Edward Iacona
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Just Kidding!
JUST KIDDING
Edward Iacona
The amount of children a family has
Brings an historical fascination.
From the 1700's to the present day
Regardless of the nation.
Judging from all the coverage,
On TV and in magazines,
Having many children now,
Is still odd, or so it seems.
There are interviews and reality shows,
They are the darlings of the media.
From the Dionne's to the 'Octomom',
They are all on Wikipedia.
It is the considered opinion,
Of this thoughtful New Yorker,
That the reason these gals have so many kids,
UIs that they are the victims of a 'storker'.
poem by Edward Iacona
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Math Suks
If necessity was the mother of invention
Then Id like to kill the guy who invented this
The numbers come together in some kind of third dimension
A regular algebraic bliss
Lets starts with something simple
Like 1 and 1 aint 3
Any 2 plus 2 will never get you 5
Theres fractions in my subtraction
And x dont equal y
But my homework is bound to multiply
Math suks (math suks), math suks (math suks)
Id like to burn this text book
I hate that stuff so much
Math suks (math suks), math suks (math suks)
Sometimes I think that I dont know that much
But math suks
I got so bored with my homework
I turned on the tv
The beauty pageant winners were all smiling through their teeth
And they asked the new miss america
Hey babe can you add up all those bucks
She looked puzzled then just said math suks
Math suks (math suks), math suks (math suks)
You dont even have to spell it
All you have to do is yell it
Math suks (math suks), math suks (math suks)
Sometime times I think that I dont know that much
But math suks
Geometry and trigonometry and if they dont tax your brain
There are numbers to big to be named
Numerical precision is a science with a mission
And I think its gonna drive me insane
Parents fighting with their children
And the congress cant agree
Teachers and their students are all jousting constantly
Management and labor keep rattling old sabres
Quacking like those peabody ducks
Math suks (quack quack), math suks (quack quack)
You dont even have to spell it
All you have to do is yell it
Math suks, thats right, math suks, you got it
Sometime times I think that I dont know that much
But math suks
All right there goes our g rating
Math suks, math suks, math suks the big one
Math suks, math suks, math suks the big one
Math suks, math suks, math suks the big one
Math suks, math suks, math suks, math suks
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dis Duh Season
DIS DUH SEASON
Edward Iacona
Christmas season now starts before Halloween
And there is really no treat, just a trick of it.
The stores put out all those Christmas things
Thinking customers would like the first pick of it.
Shall we be thankful for that in November?
‘Cause by then we’re all in the thick of it.
The songs, the lights, the huge shopping crowds
And displays which have every Saint Nick of it.
No wonder by the time Christmas finally comes
Many people are just pretty much sick of it.
poem by Edward Iacona
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Animals' Houses
Of animals' houses
Two sorts are found -
Those which are square ones
And those which are round.
Square is a hen-house,
A kennel, a sty:
Cows have square houses
And so have I.
A snail's shell is curly,
A bird's nest round;
Rabbits have twisty burrows
Underground.
But the fish in the bowl
And the fish at sea -
Their houses are round
As a house can be.
James Reeves
poem by George Redgrave
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A Singular Blessing
A SINGULAR BLESSING
Edward Iacona
This blessing is for those of us
Who have surely felt bereft.
From losing one so close and loved
That changed their heart and left.
For those that felt their soul mate
Made vows they would never renege.
For experiencing our legal system
That costs an arm and a leg.
For losing the things that brought you joy
Including old records pressed in vinyl.
May you win millions in the lottery,
After your divorce is final.
poem by Edward Iacona
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Check - Mate
CHECK - MATE
Edward Iacona
It came in a business envelope
That bore my lawyer's name.
It arrived without any fanfare.
And without any acclaim.
Inside it was the end result
Of a sad and expensive game.
It contained the official decree
That snuffed out a former flame.
It said nothing of the heartbreak,
Brought by her lying, cheating or blame.
It just said our divorce was finalized
With dispassionate words to proclaim.
And with the included stipulations
A new life is not the same.
Now there's only looking forward.
For to recapture the past there's no aim.
One would think such a valued document
Would be made more suitable to frame.
poem by Edward Iacona
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Emotional Holiday
NOTE: Sometimes one just needs a 'me' day escape the daily stress. Here is a little poem just waiting for the right greeting card....
EMOTIONAL HOLIDAY
Edward Iacona
On this Emotional Holiday
It is time to take a rest
From all the pressure that is life
That just might get you stressed.
Never mind the constant running
From pillar and to post.
Time to stop the pedaling
And just lean back and coast.
There are forces out there
That can turn your spirit to toast
So, sip some wine and smile,
For those that love you most.
poem by Edward Iacona
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A Sign Of My Times
A SIGN OF MY TIMES
Edward Iacona
While walking through the shopping mall
Just because I was bored.
I looked at all the things on sale,
That I could not afford.
There were signs upon some items,
On sale that enticed to buy.
Showing both the price that 'WAS' and now 'IS'
That caught my thoughtful eye.
Those signs show one the savings
But to my saddened point of view,
Within the depths of my real life,
The opposite is also true.
There was a marriage, home and family,
With ups and downs galore.
A union of love and soul mates
But what 'WAS'....'IS' no more.
poem by Edward Iacona
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When You Wish....
When You Wish....
Ed Iacona
When the love of my life left us
And wrote us out of her script
She left her family sad and hurting
And me emotionally ripped.
I spent the days in contemplation
Sifting through the all years
Until comes night with lack of light
When shadows can hide the tears.
To find a little glimmer
Of reconcilable hope
I consulted first the guidance
Of my daily horoscope.
I asked a toy 'Magic Eight Ball'
And turned it over for it's say
The answer in the window showed
'It's Certain', 'Unclear' or 'No Way! '
I tried to use a Ouija board
To get an answer true.
Problem with my using one
To use it, it takes two.
I have a best friend, a physic
An expert with decks of Tarot
Will there be a return of my beloved?
But her cards could not show.
There's a website that grants real wishes,
And to me that sounded great!
To make them come true one must
Comply with the magic power of '8'.
Write an '8' upon a card and
Then show it to the moon.
Recite your wish specifically
And It will come true soon.
I drew an '8' most carefully
And to this I shall attest
After showing it to the moon
The moon was not impressed.
I guess there is no real 'Secret'
For it is my found contention
For no matter how hard I tried
There is no 'Power of Intention'
All I wanted was a solution and
For this I was willing to do my part
But no matter what I tried I found
That only God can change ones heart.
poem by Edward Iacona
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Pondering Pirates
PONDERING PIRATES
Edward Iacona
There has remained a fascination
That has lasted through the years,
Of pirates, ships and the treasures
Of those adventurous buccaneers.
It is very obvious in these times
That pirates are still quite popular
In films and books and games and such
But not the real ones in Somalia.
We also pay them homage
With 'Talk Like a Pirate Day'
So salt yer speech me hearties
And add 'Arrgh' to what you say.
There are pirate costumes for Halloween
Some will buy them and some will make them.
But a real pirate would not ask for treats
He'd just threaten you and take them.
There are the Pittsburgh Pirates
And to further what my case is.
What could those pirates possibly steal
Except for a couple of bases.
There are Neuveau Pirates of today
That have no need to prowl the seas.
They can be found in the local laundromat
Selling inexpensive DVD's
Still some laud the life of pirates,
They will act so and admire it
What always puzzles me is that,
Why do they desire it?
Back in the day a real pirate
Had not much which to aspire;
Rare promotions, no paid benefits
And no security on which to retire.
For all the riches that they stole
Which was a considerable pile
What good did it really do them?
I don't think it changed their life style.
Yet thoughts of pirates still surround us
Be they fiction, real or on a line of scrimmage.
But, no matter how one thinks of them,
It took Disney to change their image.
poem by Edward Iacona
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A Song Of The Ages
A SONG OF THE AGES
Edward Iacona
There is a popular mind set,
That on some level might be true,
That when a woman gets older
Her mate will bid her adieu.
There are no doubt many reasons
For this possible lack of satisfaction,
Maybe one could be her preoccupation
With, 'The Power of Attraction'.
Maybe she could consider this
Before she starts meditating,
That her mate would be receptive
To some real communicating.
Yes, there can be many reasons why
Younger women may have appeal.
It is not just the physical thing
That initiates the male zeal.
The idea of a younger woman
Has an up side just because all
Of the peace and possibilities of a gal
That's further away from menopausal.
poem by Edward Iacona
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