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Pondering Pirates

PONDERING PIRATES
Edward Iacona

There has remained a fascination
That has lasted through the years,
Of pirates, ships and the treasures
Of those adventurous buccaneers.

It is very obvious in these times
That pirates are still quite popular
In films and books and games and such
But not the real ones in Somalia.

We also pay them homage
With 'Talk Like a Pirate Day'
So salt yer speech me hearties
And add 'Arrgh' to what you say.

There are pirate costumes for Halloween
Some will buy them and some will make them.
But a real pirate would not ask for treats
He'd just threaten you and take them.

There are the Pittsburgh Pirates
And to further what my case is.
What could those pirates possibly steal
Except for a couple of bases.

There are Neuveau Pirates of today
That have no need to prowl the seas.
They can be found in the local laundromat
Selling inexpensive DVD's

Still some laud the life of pirates,
They will act so and admire it
What always puzzles me is that,
Why do they desire it?

Back in the day a real pirate
Had not much which to aspire;
Rare promotions, no paid benefits
And no security on which to retire.

For all the riches that they stole
Which was a considerable pile
What good did it really do them?
I don't think it changed their life style.

Yet thoughts of pirates still surround us
Be they fiction, real or on a line of scrimmage.
But, no matter how one thinks of them,
It took Disney to change their image.

poem by Edward Iacona
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The Pirate Song

I want to be a pirate
A pirates life for me
All my friends are pirates
And sail the b. b. sea
Ive got a jolly roger
Its black and white and vast
Get out of your skull and crossbones
And Ill run it up your mast
With a yo-ho-ho
And a ya-ha-ha
And a ye-hee-hee-ho-hum
With a yo-ho-ho
And a ya-ha-ha
And a yum-yum-jum-jum

song performed by by George Harrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Pirate Hooks

My craving lands like a pirate horde
grappling onto my fleeing ship
swinging on ropes
til they board
in critical numbers
large enough
to overwhelm
my resistance.

They all have the same face
and while my sword is sharp and swift
I'm soon overcome by desire mixed
as pirate laughter rings
throughout my ship
reminding me of what
I like about pirates
and their lust.

For pirates
live on the edge,
laugh low in the guttural throat
they shiver my timbers;
my attraction bursts.

They make me love the pirate life;
unsafe
and a little rough;
but trading off there
smothering boredom
and life freed
from correct complacencies.

Humm.
Who has not inside
a secret pirate heart?
Who would not like to swoop down
and grapple life from stilled ships
and drifting hulks, startle complacent faces
and make off with Life's Treasures?

Who would not choose
life over death?
My Hearty?

poem by Lonnie Hicks
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Pirates And Rebels

Of the pirates and the rebels in Africa!
And like the pirates and rebels in Asia;
But do not kill mankind to rob him or her,
For the wages of sin is death!

Why are you a rebel or a pirate on this earth?
Why do you kidnap other people?
Pirates and rebels of Africa and of the world!
You all have a religion and what you worship,
But are we safe with you people on this earth? !
Yet still you go and pray to your Gods and Goddesses;
And i don't understand why,
Because a positive person will never rob and kill somebody!

Are you not ready to work for a living?
Or, is this act the best way to serve your Gods and Goddessses? !
Then think twice before it is too late,
Because someone is watching you from above!

poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate.

quote by Todd Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

arr! Arr! ARr! ARR!
We are the pirates who dont do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we dont do anything!
Well, Ive never been to Greenland,
And I've never been to Denver,
And Ive never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul,
And Ive never been to Moscow,
And Ive never been to Tampa,
And Ive never been to Boston in the fall!
'Cause We're the pirates who dont do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we dont do anything!
And Ive never hoist the mainstay,
And Ive never swabbed the poop deck,
And Ive never veer to starboard,
Cause I never sail at all.
And Ive never walked the gangplank,
And Ive never owned a parrot,
And Ive never been to Boston in the fall!
'Cause were the pirates who dont do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we dont do anything!
Well, I've never plucked a rooster,
And I'm not too good at ping pong,
And Ive never thrown my mashed potaters,
Up against the wall.
And Ive never kissed a chipmunk,
And Ive never gotten head lice,
And Ive never been to Boston in the Fall!
(Spoken part)
Pirate Captain's Log, 2002,
Who be this band Relient K?
And why be they so full of contradictions?
We don't know, what he did,
but we're down with Captain Kidd,
We don't wake up late for lunch,
But we all eat Captain Crunch,
We don't smoke,
We don't chew,
We watch Captain Kangaroo!
And Ive never licked a spark plug,
And Ive never sniffed a stinkbug,
And Ive never painted daises,
On a big red rubber ball.
And Ive never bathed in yogurt,
And I dont look good in leggings,
And Ive never been to Boston in the fall!
(Ladies and Gentlemen, let's give them a hand!)
We are the pirates who don't do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
and if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don't do anything!
We are the pirates who don't do anything,
We just stay at home and lie around,
and if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you we don't do anything!

song performed by by Relient K
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nembe River

The Nembe River,
The checkpoint of pirates fully armed like people at war!
And, many ships are then shot at;
For, this river in Nigeria is another base of the pirates of West Africa.

poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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What happen to the pirates we are supposed to see? Then we go down the chutes, and it's where the pirates were. But they're all gone. There is nothing but skeletons down here!

quote by John Hench
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Traffic

Albert, Lupe, Gilbert and Sergio
Pirates of the tarried night
Slip right through the masters key hole
But are captured by the morns daunting light;
The bells chime out from the Citadel
A warning pre-dawn solar flare
Sirens of distant warriors clap with thunder
Capturing the Pirates with their bottled wares;
At last, Niagra falls 'tis falling
Yes, the jig is up our most fallen foe
One too many sips of your bootleg lightening
Sentenced ye Pirates to days of woe;

poem by Theodora Onken
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Space Pirates

Out of the blue came a kill-crazy crew
Whose motto was stomp on the weak
With bones in their hair
They was hungry as bears
And their leader was King of the freaks
They was... Space Pirates
The lowest scum of the yellow sun
They was... Space Pirates
Sack a galaxy just for fun
(fire away)
Well now, out of the blue came this wolf pack who knew
That the name of the game was to hate
Perverts and pimps followed one-legged gimps
They was bow legged bastards of fate
They was... Space Pirates
Skulls lie white on the martian sands
They was... Space Pirates
Empires ransom in their hands
(people were scared)
Out of the blue came this mind-blowing zoo
A collection of mutated crud
Death on their hips
There was foam on their lips
And behind them a shadow of blood
They was... Space Pirates
Broken bodies and twisted minds
They was... Space Pirates
Screaming nightmares left behind
Out of the blue came a kill-crazy crew
Whose motto was stomp on the weak
Bones in their hair
They was hungry as bears
And their leader was King of the freaks
They was... Space Pirates
The lowest scum of the yellow sun
They was... Space Pirates
Sack a galaxy just for fun

song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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African Pirates

Freedom fighter or terrorist? Depends whose side you’re on,
Africa’s ‘freedom fighters’… proud pirates everyone,
No freedom was ever gained for Black folk’s kith or kin,
Their fight was not for liberty, but to loot now from within.

Robert Gabriel Mugabe, Africa’s pirate supreme,
Thieving and plundering are his passions it would seem;
But in this act he’s not alone, for Grace is worse by far,
They aught now both to be rolled, in feathers and hot tar,

Nestle buys their tainted milk from Grace’s stolen farm,
But a Nestle spokesman says “We are doing you no harm”
Millions of protestors will never eat their produce again,
Tainted now forever more, by Grace’s shame and pain.

Whilst pirates in Somalia, wreck havoc on high seas,
Grace Mugabe sets her sails, to tramp on whom she please,
Africa, land of black pirates, from Suez to Cape Town,
Their thirst for ill-gained riches, is truely world renown.

There is not one place in Africa, that is free of piracy,
From the great Sahara desert to the azure warm Indian Sea,
With license now to plunder, these swashbucklers everyone,
Are destined to destroy our Africa …our paradise in the sun.

poem by Alf Hutchison
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Killing and Robbing

Killing and robbing in the name of power,
Are there no laws in the books that you have been reading? ! !
Then think twice before it is too late,
For the Father in heaven is watching us all.

Is it in heaven or, is it in hell?
With pirates and rebels all over the world!
But the pirates are on the seas and the rebels are in the forests,
And like what we see at the horn of Africa and the forest of Africa.

The hijacking of ships and the killing of people,
But all these will not bring us peace on this earth;
So let us be wise in doing the right thing always,
For this earth is our home and it needs peace than war.

poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Lyman, frederick, and jim

(FOR THE FELLOWSHIP CLU

Lyman and Frederick and Jim, one day,
Set out in a great big ship--
Steamed to the ocean adown the bay
Out of a New York slip.
"Where are you going and what is your game?"
The people asked those three.
"Darned if we know; but all the same
Happy as larks are we;
And happier still we're going to be!"
Said Lyman
And Frederick
And Jim.

The people laughed "Aha, oho!
Oho, aha!" laughed they;
And while those three went sailing so
Some pirates steered that way.
The pirates they were laughing, too--
The prospect made them glad;
But by the time the job was through
Each of them pirates, bold and bad,
Had been done out of all he had
By Lyman
And Frederick
And Jim.

Days and weeks and months they sped,
Painting that foreign clime
A beautiful, bright vermilion red--
And having a ---- of a time!
'T was all so gaudy a lark, it seemed
As if it could not be,
And some folks thought it a dream they dreamed
Of sailing that foreign sea,
But I 'll identify you these three--
Lyman
And Frederick
And Jim.

Lyman and Frederick are bankers and sich
And Jim is an editor kind;
The first two named are awfully rich
And Jim ain't far behind!
So keep your eyes open and mind your tricks,
Or you are like to be
In quite as much of a Tartar fix
As the pirates that sailed the sea
And monkeyed with the pardners three,
Lyman
And Frederick
And Jim!

poem by Eugene Field
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All Homeward Bound...

there is a poem that looks like a map
the syllables are trails
and there is a word that sounds so
striking
and you equate it with the 'x'
where the treasure
is supposedly found

and you keep it in your mind
always figuring
'x'

'x'

'x'

what is really 'x'?

as a treasure you mistake it for
the usual gold,
the usual finds that pirates steal from ships
and keep in secret places
sometimes under the sea
sometimes in the desert but the marking
of the cactus is gone

the poem has a lot of them
but do not be disappointed
for i am no pirate
i steal none from innocent ships
no galleons
nothing about search and visit stuff

in fact, it is not a map at all

it is a park where children play
and where we figure out what next to do
we wait for a while and then we go
yes, to home.

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Whose Dream Is This Anyway?

Every day I walk the plank of this pirate ship
and hear voices saying
'Just keep going, take the risk.'
Risk? There is no risk on ships
with planks out over the sea.

What you have there is death and certainty.
'Other voices say, 'What are you doing?
Come back off that plank! '

I say 'Sure.
If I do, the pirates will simply
take their swords and run me through;

saber-death or drown in the sea
look to be the choices for me.
except:
I could get to the edge of the plank
open my wings and soar
leaving them all behind in astonishment.

Yeah, that's what I can do.

Now that is the beauty of a dream-
if you know what you are doing-

you can take control of your own dreams
and make things happen in the real world
by doing so.

So if the monster chases you in your dream
turn right around and face the monster
and say
'Whose dream is this anyway? '

Poof the monster is gone.

Try it some time
you'll see.

It's your dream
isn't it?

Pop some monster;
you feel better for it.
and it just might change your waking life too.

poem by Lonnie Hicks
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Armada So Vivid

Peculiar instances are gusts offered by schisms,
Fineries, armadas of fineries, and those passengers of the ships.
A sea of tranquil setting obtains the queue so vivid
In the act of satanic worship, after us, and all the people on board.
Embarking on a voyage of discovery, a satanic devil is held
In the confines of the ship, or boat, or armada, or navy.
Peculiar dangers await them, for they
Are in the most evil peril, a word we disguise.
Spices are against the Satan, that it morbidly sends
A disease on board to make mutineers and pirates gasp.
The pirates have seized them enough to cry,
The satanic spy conquered them with treachery.

poem by Naveed Akram
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Captain Teach alias Black Beard

Edward Teach was a native of Bristol, and sailed from that port
On board a privateer, in search of sport,
As one of the crew, during the French War in that station,
And for personal courage he soon gained his Captain's approbation.

'Twas in the spring of 1717, Captajn Harnigold and Teach sailed from Providence
For the continent of America, and no further hence;
And in their way captured a vessel laden with flour,
Which they put on board their own vessels in the space of an hour.

They also seized two other vessels snd took some gallons of wine,
Besides plunder to a considerable value, and most of it most costly design;
And after that they made a prize of a large French Guinea-man,
Then to act an independent part Teach now began.

But the news spread throughout America, far and near,
And filled many of the inhabitants' hearts with fear;
But Lieutenant Maynard with his sloops of war directly steered,
And left James River on the 17th November in quest of Black Beard,
And on the evening of the 21st came in sight of the pirate;
And when Black Beard spied his sloops he felt elate.

When he saw the sloops sent to apprehend him,
He didn't lose his courage, but fiendishly did grin;
And told his men to cease from drinking and their tittle-tattle,
Although he had only twenty men on board, and prepare for battle.

In case anything should happen to him during the engagement,
One of his men asked him, who felt rather discontent,
Whether his wife knew where he had buried his pelf,
When he impiously replied that nobody knew but the devil and himself.

In the Morning Maynard weighed and sent his boat to sound,
Which, coming near the pirate, unfortunately ran aground;
But Maynard lightened his vessel of the ballast and water,
Whilst from the pirates' ship small shot loudly did clatter.

But the pirates' small shot or slugs didn't Maynard appal,
He told his men to take their cutlasses and be ready upon his call;
And to conceal themselves every man below,
While he would remain at the helm and face the foe.

Then Black Beard cried, "They're all knocked on the head,"
When he saw no hand upon deck he thought they were dead;
Then Black Beard boarded Maynard'a sloop without dismay,
But Maynard's men rushed upon deck, then began the deadly fray.
Then Black Beard and Maynard engaged sword in hand,
And the pirate fought manfully and made a bold stand;
And Maynard with twelve men, and Black Beard with fourteen,
Made the most desperate and bloody conflict that ever was seen.

At last with shots and wounds the pirate fell down dead,
Then from his body Maynard severed the pirate's head,
And suspended it upon his bowsprit-end,
And thanked God Who so mercifully did him defend.

Black Beard derived his name from his long black beard,
Which terrified America more than any comet that had ever appeared;
But, thanks be to God, in this age we need not be afeared,
Of any such pirates as the inhuman Black Beard.

poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.

Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
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On The Lam

‘I'm going away today, ' he said,
‘I'm going away for good! '
We looked at his suitcase, neatly packed,
‘We don't really think you should! '

‘It doesn't matter a fig to me
Whatever you want me to,
I said that I'm going away, I did,
And that's what I'm going to do.'

The wife looked beat, admitted defeat,
And stalked back into the house,
While I sat down on the garden wall
And stomped on the odd wood louse.

‘So where do you think you'll spend the night
When it comes to the end of the day,
When the Moon comes up and the lights go out
And the Wolves begin to bay? '

He sulked, ‘I'll be on a pirate ship,
With Long John What's-is-name,
I'll sit right up in the Crows Nest
Spotting the ships on the Spanish Main.'

‘But what if a cannonball takes your leg
And chops it off at the knee,
They've got no doctors on pirate ships
Out in that terrible sea.'

‘Well, maybe I won't, ' he faltered,
Maybe I'll go to the Hemlock Inn,
And sup on the stuff that pirates sup
And get me a mug of gin! '

‘I think it's rum that you're thinking of,
And that's some terrible stuff,
It causes your head to twirl and spin
‘Til your ears come falling off.'

‘I'll ride on a double-decker bus,
I'll do what I want to do,
Nothing you say will change my mind
I'm not going to live with you! '

‘That's sad, I'll just have to eat them all,
Those humbugs up in the jar,
And the fairy cakes that your mother makes
While I'm looking up at the stars.'

‘That's it, I'm going away, ' he said,
‘I'm taking off on the Lam.'
‘Be careful the police don't pick you up,
They turn little boys to jam! '

He headed off to the first Lamp Post,
Then stopped, and swivelled to see,
If I was following with my eyes,
But I'd turned my gaze to a tree.

He took another few faltering steps,
Then turned and wandered back home,
‘I thought I'd stay for the fairy cakes,
I'm not quite ready to roam.'

The dog came out and he bounded up
And they played around on the lawn,
I called out, ‘Mother, the pirate's back,
His ship was lost in a storm! '

30 November 2012

poem by David Lewis Paget
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Right now we're working on finishing up Pirates! for the Xbox, we're developing Civilization IV and we've got a couple other games in development that we'll tell you about soon.

quote by Sid Meier
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Tales From The Ship

Somewhere in the beautiful
Caribbean ocean
Our lovely princess was
captured by a smile
Her father didn't notice all
of the commotion
These pirates had plans to
carry her to the Secret Isle

Dear Father, Please come
and save me quick
I am being held prisoner
on this creaky old ship
These criminals seem to know
every trick
There is a skull and crossbones flag
with a rip

The flamboyant pirate is a dead ringer
for Johnny Depp
with a squawking parrot sitting
on his shoulder
He is chatting with me and doing
a dance step
If these scoundrels get any
bolder
I will have to take them out with
my.50 Cal English Flintlock

After five days travel and arriving
at the Secret Isle
The weather was perfect and so was
everyone's mood
Our princess was still beautiful and
arriving in style
There was so many people and there
was so much food
The pirate had taken her to this
amazing party

poem by Rachel Nichols
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