Hans and Fritz
Hans and Fritz were two Deutschers who lived side by side,
Remote from the world, its deceit and its pride:
With their pretzels and beer the spare moments were spent,
And the fruits of their labor were peace and content.
Hans purchased a horse of a neighbor one day,
And, lacking a part of the Geld, — as they say, —
Made a call upon Fritz to solicit a loan
To help him to pay for his beautiful roan.
Fritz kindly consented the money to lend,
And gave the required amount to his friend;
Remarking,—his own simple language to quote,—
"Berhaps it vas bedder ve make us a note."
The note was drawn up in their primitive way, —
"I, Hans, gets from Fritz feefty tollars to-day;"
When the question arose, the note being made,
"Vich von holds dot baper until it vas baid?"
"You geeps dot," says Fritz, "und den you vill know
You owes me dot money." Says Hans, "Dot ish so:
Dot makes me remempers I haf dot to bay,
Und I prings you der note und der money some day."
A month had expired, when Hans, as agreed,
Paid back the amount, and from debt he was freed.
Says Fritz, " Now dot settles us." Hans replies,
"Yaw: Now who dakes dot baper accordings by law ?"
"I geeps dot now, aind't it?" says Fritz ; " den, you see,
I alvays remempers you baid dot to me."
Says Hans, "Dot ish so: it vas now shust so blain,
Dot I knows vot to do ven I porrows again."
poem by Charles Follen Adams from Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Related quotes
Hans Huckebein part one
Hier sieht man Fritz, den muntern Knaben,
Nebst Huckebein, dem jungen Raben.
Behold young Fritz, a lively lad,
And Huckebein, a raven cad.
Und dieser Fritz, wie alle Knaben,
Will einen Raben gerne haben.
And Fritz, like every other boy,
Would like a raven for a toy.
Schon rutscht er auf dem Ast daher,
Der Vogel, der mißtraut ihm sehr.
He's moving closer on the limb;
The bird looks on, mistrusting him.
Schlapp! macht der Fritz von seiner Kappe
Mit Listen eine Vogelklappe.
Slap! Fritz converts his stylish cap
Into a clever raven trap.
Beinahe hätt' er ihn! Doch ach!
Der Ast zerbricht mit einem Krach.
He's almost got him! But, alack!
The brittle branch breaks with a crack.
In schwarzen Beeren sitzt der Fritze,
Der schwarze Vogel in der Mütze.
In juicy berries wallows Fritz
While in his cap the raven sits.
Der Knabe Fritz ist schwarz betupft;
Der Rabe ist in Angst und hupft.
The boy is speckled black, and dripping;
The bird is panicking, and skipping.
Der schwarze Vogel ist gefangen,
Er bleibt im Unterfutter hangen.
The raven, fluttering, and twining,
Is caught and tangled in the lining.
"Jetzt hab' ich dich, Hans Huckebein!
Wie wird sich Tante Lotte freu'n!"
"Hans Huckebein, I've got you now!
Aunt Lotte will be glad - and how!"
poem by Wilhelm Busch
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Little Hans
Lead vocal: graham dye
Little hans, little hans, what do you see?
The worlds is full of big surprises
Little hans, little hans, what can they be?
They come in many shapes and sizes
Little boys always love to play
But something is not quite right
Little hans wont come out today
Hes scared of a horse that might bite
Little hans, little hans, what can it be?
Your thoughts are filled with such confusion
Little hans, little hans when will you see?
Youre barking up the wrong conclusion
Professor man asks him oh so nicely
Why will you not come out?
Little hans tells him most politely
What he is thinking about
A ride in a tram, a lily white lamb, raspberry jam
Little hans, little hans, where will you go?
The world is full of compromises
Little hans, little hans, how will you know?
The come in many strange disguises
Professor man shakes his head and wonders
How will he work it out?
Little hans tells him quite precisely
What hes been dreaming about
I jump in the bath, I make myself laugh, I ride a giraffe
Little hans, little hans, I found a clue
I think Ive made the right connection
Little hans, little hans, all I can do
Is give a common sense injection
Little boys grow up just like daddy
Professor man has no doubt
Little hans goes to sleep and wonders
What he was talking about
song performed by by Alan Parsons Project
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Bay'nit
When first I left Blighty they gave me a bay'nit
And told me it 'ad to be smothered wiv gore;
But blimey! I 'aven't been able to stain it,
So far as I've gone wiv the vintage of war.
For ain't it a fraud! when a Boche and yours truly
Gits into a mix in the grit and the grime,
'E jerks up 'is 'ands wiv a yell and 'e's duly
Part of me outfit every time.
Left, right, Hans and Fritz!
Goose step, keep up yer mits!
Oh my, Ain't it a shyme!
Part of me outfit every time.
At toasting a biscuit me bay'nit's a dandy;
I've used it to open a bully beef can;
For pokin' the fire it comes in werry 'andy;
For any old thing but for stickin' a man.
'Ow often I've said: "'Ere, I'm goin' to press you
Into a 'Un till you're seasoned for prime,"
And fiercely I rushes to do it, but bless you!
Part of me outfit every time.
Lor, yus; DON'T they look glad?
Right O! 'Owl Kamerad!
Oh my, always the syme!
Part of me outfit every time.
I'm 'untin' for someone to christen me bay'nit,
Some nice juicy Chewton wot's fightin' in France;
I'm fairly down-'earted -- 'ow CAN yer explain it?
I keeps gettin' prisoners every chance.
As soon as they sees me they ups and surrenders,
Extended like monkeys wot's tryin' to climb;
And I uses me bay'nit -- to slit their suspenders --
Part of me outfit every time.
Four 'Uns; lor, wot a bag!
'Ere, Fritz, sample a fag!
Oh my, ain't it a gyme!
Part of me outfit every time.
poem by Robert William Service
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Hr. Mickel i Odense
Et fremmed Navn det hjelper strax,
Saa kjendes man af Flere,
Han var for os en dansk Hans Sachs,
Ja næstendeel lidt mere.
Hans Rosenkrands er nu lagt hen,
Men ægte Guldet er i den.
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Fru Bournonville
Hvem Gud har kjær gav han Geniets Flamme,
I tusind Farver kvæger det vort Syn,
Men ham, som fik det, bittre Smerter ramme,
Han halvfortæres af sit Guddoms Lyn;
Tidt gaaer han ene — lyser, som en Kjerte,
Og lysende fortæres han som den,
Men elsker Gud ham, vil et trofast Hjerte
Sig slutte til ham, kalde ham sin Ven.
En Skytsaand følger ham, en ædel Qvinde,
Hun styrker ham paa Stridens tunge Dag,
Hans Sorg hun lukker i sit Hjerte inde,
Og mere kraftigt er hans Vingeslag.
Du er en saadan Skytsaand god og stærk,
Hans Navn, hans Lykke, blev dit Hjertes Værk.
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Leapin' Lizards or How to Get the Most Out Your Geico (so easy a caveman can do it)
Hans Kurt Kubus,58, had a 'thing' for lizards.
This German knows his insurance policies,
- and he is no Neanderthal man who likes gizzards.
Kubus, No, not the video game cubis, attached 44 lizards to his body,
He attempted to smuggle them out of New Zealand, Scott free.
Hans had the geckos and skinks within his underwear,
I don't why men put things in there underwear,
I cannot believe they don't care.
Hans did not attempt to light his britches on fire.
As the Muslim terrorist tried to do as he and others flew to Detroit,
The situation was, at the time, dire.
But Hans was caught, he was not as smart as a caveman,
A caveman in New Zealend.
Hans was arrested and sentenced to two weeks in prison and fined $3,450
-before he was deported back to Germany.
Hans Kurt Kubus might try an asp or viper next time around,
-he will probably take pass.
Hans Kurt Kubus is not as smart as New Zealand caveman, -he is a real dumb a$$.
1-31-10
poem by Joe Rosochacki
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R. Frankenau
Glemt staaer hans Grav bag Kloster-Kirkens Muur,
Endt er hans Drøm om Glæde og om Smerte;
Han var en Digter-Blomst i Guds Natur,
Hvis friske Duft har qvæget mangt et Hjerte.
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Med Freiligraths Digte
Ved Islands Geyser staaer hans Sommertelt,
Han rider paa den afrikanske Løve,
Han, Poesiens unge, tydske Helt,
Med ham det nok er værdt en Dyst at prøve;
Han har en riig Provinds i Kunstens Stat.
Her kommer han, — hans Navn er Freiligrath.
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Grev Joachim Moltke-Bregentved
Tænk kun paa ham hvis Støv er Graven bragt,
Erindring, udfold heel din Blomsterpragt!
Et Smiil sad i hans Øie, om hans Mund,
Det lyste fra den rene Hjerte-Bund.
Husk Julens Glæder, naar han spøgte glad;
Saa rigt og stort er Hjertets Mindeblad.
Hos Eder lykkelig og glad han stod,
For Danmarks Sag, han Hjemmets Hjem forlod.
Den vaade Jord og Nattens kolde Vind,
Skjød Dødens Kugle i hans Hjerte ind.
Sit unge Liv han glad for Danmark gav.
De Runer vil' vi riste paa hans Grav!
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Med en Hund
Her er en Hund, og den er stor,
En Hund var hans Faer, en Hund hans Moer.
See, hvor han gloer!
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Christian Wulff
Den vide Verden Faae kun nævne kan,
Der var opoffrende og god, som han;
Den skjønne Guds Natur han havde kjær,
Og paa hans Bryst faldt Dødens Draabe der;
Een Smerte kun ham fyldte, stor og heel,
Forladt og i en anden Verdens Deel
Sin stakkels syge Søster han forlod.
Et Suk — hans Hjerte brast — hos Gud han stod.
Det danske Flag man ham om Kisten gav,
Hans Kjærlighed ham fulgte i hans Grav;
Et Egetræ strøer gyldent Løv paa den;
Sov sødt, sov vel, Du tro, Du kjære Ven!
Flyv lille Svale, Vindens Vei derhen,
Bring Hilsen ham, som kommer ei igjen,
Hvis blaa og milde Øine vi først see
Der, hvor ei meer er Død og Hjertevee!
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Dead End (Satis Shroff)
Hans, Fritz and Bruno do their extra homework,
Meted out as a punishment by the English teacher.
Vitaly throws scissors in the classroom,
Which land with a thud on the cork wall.
Heino is doing his best to disturb the group,
With his loud MP3 music.
‘Ha! Ha! Ha! Du Hurensohn! ’ he says,
To a fellow classmate.
A Kosovo-kid who’s hyperactive,
Steals and fights at school.
The Germans send him to a Sonderschule.
His father’s proud for ‘sonder’ means ‘special.’
His son is attending an elite school, he thinks,
Only to realise later,
It was a school for difficult children.
A dead-end.
poem by Satis Shroff
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Barn Jesus i en Krybbe laae
Barn Jesus i en Krybbe laae,
Skjøndt Himlen var hans Eie;
Hans Pude her blev Hø og Straa,
Mørkt var det om hans Leie!
Men Stjernen over Huset stod,
Og Oxen kyssed' Barnets Fod,
Halleluja, Barn Jesus!
Hver sorgfuld Sjæl, bliv karsk og glad,
Ryst af din tunge Smerte,
Et Barn er født i Davids Stad,
Til Trøst for hvert et Hjerte;
Til Barnet vil vi stige ind,
Og blive Børn i Sjæl og Sind.
Halleluja, Barn Jesus!
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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De fattige Børn paa Gaden
Barn Jesus i en Krybbe laae,
Skjøndt Himlen var hans Eie;
Hans Pude her blev Hø og Straa,
Mørk var det om hans Leie!
Men Stjernen over Huset stod,
Og Oxen kyssed' Barnets Fod,
Halleluja, Barn Jesus!
Hver sorgfuld Sjæl, bliv karsk og glad,
Ryst af din tunge Smerte,
Et Barn er født i Davids Stad,
Til Trøst for hvert et Hjerte;
Til Barnet vil vi stige ind,
Og blive Børn i Sjæl og Sind.
Halleluja, Barn Jesus!
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Oberst Læssøe
Paa Valpladsen faldt Du for Danmarks Sag,
Der brast Dit ildfulde Hjerte.
Din Aand var klar som den lyse Dag,
Med „fremad!" den steg i det blodige Slag,
Saae Danskens Seier og — Smerte.
Græd stakkels Moder, nedbøiet tungt.
„Hans Liv var saa ungt!" — men evig ungt
Staaer ogsaa hans Eftermæle!
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Med H. C. Andersens Eventyr
Her har Du Nøglen, om jeg saa tør sige,
Der aabner Dig Slots-Haven i hans Rige.
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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What little Hans didn't learn, big Hans doesn't know.
Den stille Uge
Den stille Uges Sørgetid
En Skat af Tanker bærer hid:
Christ gav sig hen for os, vi veed,
For Sandheden han Døden led,
Korsfæstet blev Uskyldighed.
Paa Tornekronen Blodet sad,
Mens han for sine Fjender bad.
Hvo ligner ham og gaaer hans Spor?
I den just Livets Rose groer,
Og Den er salig, som ret troer.
Du stille Uge smerteriig,
Fryd straaler fra din Sørgeflig!
Med ydmygt Sind vi knæle ned:
Et Intet i Guds Herlighed,
Og dog stor i hans Kjærlighed.
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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A. Bording
Den muntre Skjald i Muld er gjemt,
Hans Strængeleeg staaer reent forglemt;
Gjør den igjen for Støvet fri,
Endnu er' Tonerne deri.
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Udder Budder
A frog, with bulbous eyes and green
was in the mornings often seen
out in the barn when Farmer Fritz
was busy milking bovine tits.
One morning Fritz had kicked the bucket
and yelled a word that rhymes with locket,
he left to get, inside the house,
a new container from his spouse.
While Fritz was gone, the other bucket
was standing there, and, like a rocket,
the frog jumped in to have a drink.
He drank but soon began to sink.
In panic, he swam ever quicker,
placed great demands upon his ticker,
yet he could see (he had a brain)
that efforts might well be in vain.
He started then to feel defeated,
adrenals badly overheated,
and vertigo had gripped his head.
Deep down he knew he'd soon be dead.
He prayed for the return of Fritz
when he laid eyes on mammoth tits.
Half-conscious now, he'd never known
that Mother Nature could have grown
a set of such delicious whoppers.
I must inser here, frogs are hoppers
and do not carry real boobs,
not round, oblong or shaped like cubes.
So he, a young pubescent male
now felt a stirring in his tail.
By tail I mean the small utensil,
about the size of a short pencil
that hung below his belly button
and was the colour of fresh cotton.
Now focused on the mammaries,
his 'tail' wagged wildly near his knees.
He kept his frog eyes on the udder,
and soon the milk had turned to budder.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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