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Growing Up

I didn't know why I was really born
I had a sad childhood and was always torn
Didn't know my daddy, didn't really know my mother
It was just us three, with my sister and my brother
We stuck together and formed a bond
We were all we had and were very fond
We would defend each other all our life
There was pain and fear and plenty of strife
We were abused and neglected most of the time
Then, you could starve and beat your kids, not a crime
We were passed around to home after home
We never had much to call our own
We had a different daddy once a week
They made us full of fear and awful meek
Some were very nice and some were very mean
Some would beat us constantly, and some would only scream
We all grew up rough and we all knew it
And if they knew about this poem, they would have a fit
Mother couldn't help it, her mind was very weak
All her life she suffered, her life was so bleak
But we survived it all and grew up too
And mother she forgot, and didn't have a clue
I loved her so much, through thick and thin
The angels came and got her, that's why I can pen!

poem by Donna Nimmo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes

If Daddy Only Knew

I wonder if Daddy knew I had to become super-responsible and a miniature adult at the age of 12
I wonder if Daddy knew life at home was full of broken promises and full of disappointment.
I wonder if Daddy knew why he didn't ever carry me fishing
I wonder if Daddy knew why I had to take life so seriously
I wonder if Daddy knew why I couldn't have fun like my other friends
I wonder if Daddy knew I never really knew what 'normal' was
I wonder if Daddy knew I had to lie and cover up the truth about our family for all those years when telling the truth would have been easier
I wonder if Daddy knew why he didn't ever tell me he loved me. Was it because I was a little 'man'?
I wonder if Daddy knew why he didn't come to my graduation?
I wonder if Daddy knew how much I loved him?
I wonder if Daddy knew how many times the arguments and yelling was my bedtime lullaby?
I wonder if Daddy knew..................that I knew

poem by Barry A. Lanier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Heffa

'Don't let me chase you...
Heffa! '

My mother would say this,
Before she did my sister's hair.
And I would sit in a chair...
To watch my sister.
And she would cry and I would stare.

'What you looking at? '
My sister Mimmie would say!

I'm looking at you!
What you gonna do?

'You kids better not start nothing with me.
Hold your head still, girl!
And don't you say another word, Larry! '

I would think to myself...
'Is Mimmie a 'heffa' when she gets her hair done?
Why when I called her that...
She would chase me,
And I would run?

Then my mother would say,
'Would you kids stop that!
Both of you get on my last nerve.
Stop that fighting crap.'

Ma, what is a 'heffa'?
And why is Mimmie one?
Is it the way she looks...
When her hair is undone?
If I called her that,
She wants to fight with me.
Daddy don't call her a heffa.
Why do you...
Exclusively?

My mother would look at me,
As if I was crazed.
I could tell in her eyes,
She was trying for 'something' to say!

I never heard my mother curse.
She didn't have to back then.
But I grew to understand...
'Heffa' was a word,
Black women shared between them!

And my sister Mimmie...
Thought she needed to keep me in 'check'!
And 'if' I didn't leave her alone...
A grown man I would never become or get!

I grew up in a family of very strong willed 'heffuhs'!

Dedicated to:
Those women in my family whom I love dearly.
And I have learned what they say to each other,
And amongst themselves...
Is between them as women!
And they have provided me with 'much' wisdom!
I know now...
What is said 'endearingly' between them,
Is not for a man to repeat!
Even though they can say what they wish,
About us!

'Right, fellas'?

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Where's Daddy?

My mother and I were close.
And had a unique relationship.
People thought I was a mama's boy.
And I didn't mind.
Since both my mother and I,
Would laugh when we discussed this.

I remember talking before I could walk.
And when we were out together publicly,
She would say to me...
'Please Larry, do not say one word.
I don't want anyone staring at you.'
~You mean like daddy does? ~
'Exactly.'

And when I got older,
When my sister Mimmie was born...
I use to ask my mother,
~Why is she so quiet? ~
'Give her time.
She's only a few months old.'

And...
When she did get older,
And we'd all be out in public...
My mother not once told her,
To be quiet.
I tried.
But she never listened to me.
And my father?
He would just stare at us in disbelief.

~Ma?
Where's daddy? ~
'Who knows? '

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Helpless With Dementia

I was a victim of dementia
I could not remember recent things
Confined to a small lock down area
When I had a visitor, I was so happy

I can’t remember that I wasn’t a real mother to you
Or when I let others abuse and beat you too
I am now at the mercy of all others
Oh how I pray you forgave me too

You tried your best to take care of me
But I kept wandering off, only wanting to be free
You felt such guilt and cried many tears
When the doctor said you could no longer take care of me

I know you searched many nursing homes
To find that special place, that would care for me
A place of love, where i couldn’t roam
A place with nurses, where I’d be safe

You paced the floors and cried
Each time they sent me to the hospital
They would say I must haven fallen
They were convincing with their lies

Bruises on my face, they weren’t all falls
Violent patients abused me
I was at the mercy of all of them
Said they wouldn’t break elder laws

They had an excuse for everything
Blow after blow
You tried to stay most of the time
For you they put on a show

When you were there
They would paint my finger nails
And fix my hair
When you were gone I was tied to a chair

They took my dignity and self respect
They were paid by the hour, and didn’t care
Towards the end, they say I fell and broke my hip
Next week told I fell and broke my leg

Once a week I was at the emergency room
You always beat the ambulance there
The last hospital visit, I got a staph infection
The doctor said i was near the end

I couldn’t tell you what they did to me
Because I forgot so much
You stayed by my side until the end
Telling me you loved me, and softly singing hyms

The angels came for me one night
And ended all my pain
Please don’t cry for me anymore
I’ve been made whole again

I look down at you, and wish I could take the pain away
I’m in heaven now and this is where I must stay!

To all that have loved ones with dementia, please guard their care.
All nursing homes are not the way they seem. They will put on a show for you so they can make their blood money. They neglected and abused my mother. So I am her voice.
To my mother who did the best she knew how to.

poem by Donna Nimmo
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Mom, You Didn't Know

Mom you didn't know
How hard it was for me to take this journey
Mom you didn't know it was a hard time in school
the fear of getting bullied,
the shame when I can't answer our teacher
the feeling of being isolated, alone, neglected
Mom you haven't knew that, you didn't know how i feel
But I couldn't just tell you
I know you had a lot of things to think of
I don't want to be an added burden to you
I love you Mom,
I hope you were there at those times
But its all okay Mom
It turned up to be okay
After all, there's God all the time
This is the best thing you did in my life
to make me know God
to let me grow in Him
I am stronger now, but not of my strength but of His
Everything was His arrangement
He probably had allowed you not to be with me most of the time that I may learn to trust on Him.
Mom it's okay you didn't know because now,
I'm trusting HIM.

poem by Rouge Groer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mother’s day

It was mother’s day
and you wanted your dead mother
to be alive again,
more sincerely than anything.

You even were angry with me
for not thinking about you
on that day
of you now being motherless
when you had a mother
for most of your life
and a father too

and that there was something empty,
something missing from your life,
and her being gone
was terrible on that particular day.

That you couldn’t make her breakfast,
pick nasturtiums
from the garden for her,
or even talk to her,
on that special day
and I said that I didn’t realize that you were
missing your mom so much,
and offered my sincere sympathy
and told you that we have to appreciate
our parents
while we still have them,

that life lies only in the hand of God,
that I had grown up without a father
and that my mother was the only parent
whom I really knew
and ironically the only woman
that didn’t leave me in the lurch

which made you angrier,
so much so that you slammed
the phone down in my ear
when I called to apologize
and I wondered why
the persons that we hold dear
leave so much pain
when they are gone
and what had gotten into you?

poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Daddy Come And Get Me

In this mental institution, lookin' out through these iron bars
How could he put me in here, how could he go that far
Yes i need help but not this kind, he didn't love me from the start
But it's not my mind that's broken, it's my heart
Oh daddy come and get me and take me home with you
I'm depending on you daddy, there's nothing i can do
And you said that i could come to you if i ever was in need
But daddy i can't come to you, you'll have to come to me
When he said he loved another, i was crazy with jealousy
That's 'cause i was crazy over him and i couldn't stand to set him free
And i couldn't stand to lose him and i cried and cried for days
And he said that i was crazy but he just put me in here to get me out of his way
Daddy come and get me
Oh daddy come and get me and take me home with you
I'm depending on you daddy 'cause there's nothing else i can do
And you said that i could come to you if i ever was in need
But daddy i can't come to you, you'll have to come to me
Oh daddy, come and get me

song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No Chance

It must be nice to be steady, it must be nice to be firm
It must be nice never to move off the mark
It must be nice to be dependable and never let anyone down
It must be great to be all the things you're not
It must be great to be all the things that I'm not
I see you in the hospital your humor is intact
I'm embarrassed by the strength I seem to lack
If I was in your shoes
so strange that I'm not
I'd fold up in a minute and a half
and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye
It must be nice to be normal it must be nice to be cold
It must be nice not to have to go oh up or down
But me I'm all emotional no matter how I try
you're gone and I'm still here alive
and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye
No - I didn't get a chance to say goodbye
There are things we say we wish we knew and in fact we never do
But I'd wish I'd known that you were going to die
Then I wouldn't feel so stupid, such a fool that I didn't call
And I didn't get a chance to say goodbye
I didn't get a chance to say goodbye
No there's no logic to this - who's picked to stay or go
If you think too hard it only makes you mad
But your optimism made me think you really had it beat
So I didn't get a chance to say goodbye
I didn't get a chance to say goodbye

song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Daddy's Moonshine Still

Folks say my daddy wasn't much of a man
For disobeying the laws of the land
Folks say that my daddy wasn't fit to kill
Oh and I know it was true what the people said
Cause we'd all've been better of dead
Than to live a life of shame and strife
Cause of daddy's moonshine still
My mama was always sweet and kind
But she grew old before her time
Worryin' about the way we had to live
Yeah my daddy put the wrinkles in my mama's face
He drunk his share of all he made
And just one more reason I grew to hate
My daddy's moonshine still
Chorus:
Daddy's moonshine still was good for nothin'
But to break mama's heart
And to tear our home apart
Make our lives a livin' hell
Them old mason jars that daddy made us wash
And set them out to sun on our back porch
'Til he got ready to take 'em up on the hill
And when daddy got word of the revenue
He made us kids help hide his brew
Made us swear that we never knew
About daddy's moonshine still
Yeah and two of my brothers drove across the state line
Once a week with a load of moonshine
And the wounds that came from that won't ever heal
Cause on a moonshine run one rainy night
My two brothers lost their lives
And oh my god how I despise
My daddy's moonshine still
Repeat Chorus
Well it broke mama's heart but she understood
The day that I left home for good
But I had to find me another way to live
Well I sent mama money nearly every day
And how I made it, well I'd rather not say
But at least it took me far away
From daddy's moonshine still
My bootlegging daddy was known quite well
And he made our home a livin' hell
And I ain't forgot it and I know that I never will
My mama finally died she just gave up
And daddy finally died from drinkin' that stuff
And bad memories haunt the rest of us
From daddy's moonshine still
Repeat Chorus

song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Field Of Yellow Daisies

We met in a field of yellow daisies
Wild and young and free
And she picked a bouquet for me
She loved me...she loved me not
The daisies didn't lie
They knew better than I...she'd go away..yeah
But they didn't say why
Have you ever been in a field of yellow daisies
Where the air is warm, pure and sweet
Just as if the world is at your feet
She loved me...she loved me not
The daisies didn't lie
They knew better than I
She'd go away.....yeah
But they didn't say why
I may fail like petals from a daisy
But for her love I'll always yearn
Each year when yellow daisies return
She loved me...she loved me not
The daisies didn't lie
They knew better than I
She'd go away.....yeahhhh
But they didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why.........

song performed by by Tom Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mother

Mother, you had me but i never had you.
I, i wanted you, you didn't want me.
So i, i just gotta tell you,
Goodbye, goodbye.
Father, you left me but i never left you.
I needed you, you didn't need me.
So i, i just gotta tell you, mm,
Goodbye, goodbye.
Children, don't do what i have done.
I couldn't walk and i tried to run.
So i, i just gotta tell you,
Goodbye, goodbye.
Mama, don't go,
Daddy, come home.
Mama, don't go,
Daddy, come home.
Mama, don't go,
Daddy, come home.
Mama, don't go,
Daddy, come home.
Mama, don't go,
Daddy, come home.
Mama, don't go.

song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mother

song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Who Helen Was

She wasn't a singer or some movie star
She was in my heart, that place now a scar
She didn't win awards or gain any fame
She's in heaven now, there are those at blame
Her life was so sad from begining to end
But she was always, considered my friend
They abused her so much and took all she had
I loved her always, good times and bad
I tried to move her out of that horrible place
The angels took her home, only by gods grace
Her life was tormented for so many years
She's free now and i'm left with so many tears
What could i have done to make it better
They will know her name, that's why this letter
They took her dignity and self respect
This is one debt that god will collect
You can't destroy god's children and still be free
At judgement day, you'll pay a great fee
She's gone from this life to a better place
When the angels come i'll see her face
They cannot hurt her anymore
With eagle wings she'll finally soar
Helen was my precious mother
All that's left is my sister and brother
Your day is coming mother dear
And those who hurt you have much to fear
Vengeance is mine said the lord
He will strike down with his mighty sword
So once more mother, i will say good night
Rest easy my sweet, it's no longer your fight!

poem by Donna Nimmo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hush Little Sister

Hush, little sister
Please don't cry
I wish I could be there
To sing you a lullaby
I can see your arms
Bloodied and bruised
That's strange, little sister
Mine were like that too
I know you scream
When Daddy's there
Hush, little sister
I know you're scared
I can see the way
He's hurting you
I'm sorry, little sister
He did that to me too
I know that people
Ignore what's going on at home
That makes me angry, little sister
You shouldn't have to be alone
Hey, little sister
You want to know why I'm not there?
It's a sad story, little sister
But people should care
You see, little sister
One day Daddy got high
You were asleep in your crib
So you didn't hear my cry
He screamed at me
And smashed my head against the door
While you slept, little sister
I died on the floor
You know, little sister
I don't think that I would have died
If someone had only bothered
To listen to my cries
But hush, little sister
Daddy's coming home
Quick, get into bed
You don't want him to find you alone
I'm sorry little sister
He's in a bad mood
Run while you can
Uh oh little sister
He's lifting his belt
Scream while you can, little sister
Call for help
Hush little sister
You don't need to cry
No one can hurt you

poem by by unknown author
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Outside Looking In

Somebody told him that their way was the right way
He never took a chance, her never had a
chance
Cause he was force fed he had to live his
death sentence
See, he was a new face with a nice smile
He got sucked in got spit out
He was the winner by the standars of gold-digger
A success story in six figures
Outside looking in
It was wasted life on the dream
Outside looking in
He was wasted
Turn your back to the world
So then he grew old, he thought he grew wise
He thought he'd know a bad seed in swarm of flies
They couldn't wait to consider him family
Take what they could get and keep walkin'
And on his death bed surrounded by his friends
He saw the faces and no substance, let go
With a smile of serenity, he needed change for enternity
On the outside looking in
It was wasted life on a dream
On the outside looking in
He should of seen their dream as a sin
On the outside looking in
It was wasted life on the dream
On the outside looking in
He was wasted
Turn you back on the world
It's what he didn't know, he didn't know that killed him
It's what he didn't know, he didn't know that killed him
It's what he didn't know, he didn't know that killed him
It's what he didn't know
It's what he didn't know (on the outside looking in)
It's what he didn't know (it was wasted life on a dream)
It's what he didn't know (on the outside looking in)
It's what he didn't know (he was wasted)
Turn your back on the world

song performed by by 1208
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hush Little Sister

Hush, little sister
Please don't cry
I wish I could be there
To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms
Bloodied and bruised
That's strange, little sister
Mine were like that too

I know you scream
When Daddy's there
Hush, little sister
I know you're scared

I can see the way
He's hurting you
I'm sorry, little sister
He did that to me too

I know that people
Ignore what's going on at home
That makes me angry, little sister
You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister
You want to know why I'm not there?
It's a sad story, little sister
But people should care

You see, little sister
One day Daddy got high
You were asleep in your crib
So you didn't hear my cry

He screamed at me
And smashed my head against the door
While you slept, little sister
I died on the floor

You know, little sister
I don't think that I would have died
If someone had only bothered
To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister
Daddy's coming home
Quick, get into bed
You don't want him to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister
He's in a bad mood
Run while you can

Uh oh little sister
He's lifting his belt
Scream while you can, little sister
Call for help

Hush little sister
You don't need to cry
No one can hurt you
You're in my arms tonight.

poem by Brie Carter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Daughter's Wish

I wish I had a mother,
That would love me the way she should.
I wish I had a mother,
To accept me for who I am.
I wish I had a mother,
Who wouldn’t belittle me the way she does.
I wish I had a mother,
Who would trust me some of the time.
I wish I had a mother,
That would listen to me when I’m in pain.
I wish I had a mother,
Who would trust me just abit.
I wish I had a mother,
Who would help me when I asked.
I wish I had a mother,
Who didn’t criticize me the way she does.
I wish I had a mother,
Who would understand the pain she’s caused
I wish I had a mother,
Who didn’t have to be right all the time.
I wish I had a mother,
Who would see the good that I’ve done.
I wish I had a mother,
Who wouldn’t make me beg for her love.

poem by A.M. Belsey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hush, Little Sister