Strangers in Peoria
I met a proper woman in a proper pub
on a Monday in Peoria. I was taken by how much
she looked like Jackie after Dallas
but without the pillbox hat.
She was from New York and I was from Chicago
and we were in Peoria for interviews
for jobs we thought we'd get.
But living in Peoria, we thought,
might not be a fit.
The lady was a surgeon recruited by a hospital.
It took a little prompting but finally she said:
'I repair pelvic floors in women.'
She paused to see if I'd react
and when I didn't, she continued.
'If a bladder drops, or a rectum tumbles
or if a womb is full of fibroids,
I'm the surgeon that lady needs to see.
These are ailments most men never
hear about unless they've had a wife
who's had them.'
She sipped her Coke,
dabbed the corner of her mouth,
and then assured me:
'When I get done, the lady's free
of all protrusions. She can urinate,
defecate and have sex again, all
without discomfort.'
Now I've met my share of women,
but I had never met a woman,
drunk or sober, quite like her.
I had no idea what to say and so
I sat and listened.
'Actually, my patients have a choice.
They can let me do the surgery or buy
a pessary, a device few women know about
until I pull one from the cabinet
and explain its ins and outs.
The pessary makes surgery seem simple
and so we pick a day for me to tuck
the organs back where they belong.
'Now, if the womb is full of fibroids,
I'll suggest that we remove the uterus as well.
I tell her we'll take out her crib
and leave her playpen intact.
Often that's the best solution.'
She sipped her Coke again and said,
'Somewhere in Peoria, as we speak,
a bladder's dropping, a rectum's quivering
and a fibroid's growing. Believe me,
if the salary is right, I'll take this job
because a fibroid in Peoria's no different
than a fibroid in New York.'
Then she put me on the spot:
'Well, that's my story. What's yours?
What do you do for a living? '
I took a breath and said:
'I repair sentences in documents
written by intelligent people
expert in arcane fields.
Some of them can't spell
or punctuate or if they can,
they dangle participles,
split infinitives or run
their sentences together
like mountain rams
in rutting season.'
For emphasis I added,
'I put muscle in their verbs,
amputate their adjectives,
assassinate their adverbs.
I give my clients final copy
they can claim is theirs.
The reader never knows
a ferret like me has dashed
between the lines,
nibbling at this
and chomping on that.'
Then I added a remark I hoped
would prompt a get-together later
for dinner and drinks,
another chat and a little laughter,
who knows what else,
before we'd have to take
different planes back home:
'I believe our work is similar, ' I said.
'I too put things back where they belong
and cut away anything protruding.'
About an hour later, we paid our tabs,
said long good-byes and headed off
in different directions. By day's end,
we'd both be flying home;
and although we'd still be strangers,
we'd be strangers who had had
an interesting conversation.
Not interesting enough, however,
for either of us to ask
the other for a name or number.
poem by Donal Mahoney
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
My favorite thing to do is still to go back to Peoria, go to my cabin and hunt with the boys. This is a great lifestyle, don't get me wrong. But fun for me is going back with my buddies I grew up with.
All Woman
Hes home again from another day
She smiles at him as he walks through the door
She wonders if it will be okay
Its hard for her when he doesnt respond
He says babe you look a mess
You look dowdy in that dress
Its just not like it used to be
Then she says...
Chorus:
I may not be a lady
But Im all woman
From monday to sunday I work harder than you know
Im no classy lady
But Im all woman
And this woman needs a little love to make her strong
Youre not the only one
She stands there and lets the tears flow
Tears that shes been holding back so long
She wonders where did all the loving go
The love they used to share when they were strong
She says yes I look a mess
But I dont love any less
I thought you always thought enough of me to always be impressed
(chorus)
He holds her and hangs his head in shame
He doesnt see her like he used to do
Hes too wrapped up in working for his pay
He hasnt seen the pain hes put her through
Attention that he paid
Just vanished in the haze
He remembers how it used to be
When he used to say
Youll always be a lady
cos youre all woman
From monday to sunday I love you much more than you know
Youre a classy lady
cos youre all woman
This woman needs a loving man to keep her warm
Youre the only one
Youre a classy lady
cos youre all woman
So sweet the love that used to be
So sweet the love that used to be
We can be sweet again...
song performed by by Lisa Stansfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Aner Clute
Over and over they used to ask me,
While buying the wine or the beer,
In Peoria first, and later in Chicago,
Denver, Frisco, New York, wherever I lived,
How I happened to lead the life,
And what was the start of it.
Well, I told them a silk dress,
And a promise of marriage from a rich man --
(It was Lucius Atherton).
But that was not really it at all.
Suppose a boy steals an apple
From the tray at the grocery store,
And they all begin to call him a thief,
The editor, minister, judge, and all the people --
"A thief," "a thief," "a thief," wherever he goes.
And he can't get work, and he can't get bread
Without stealing it, why, the boy will steal.
It's the way the people regard the theft of the apple
That makes the boy what he is.
poem by Edgar Lee Masters
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I was brought up in a whorehouse in Peoria. My mother and father lived there and worked there.
quote by Richard Pryor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Like A Surgeon
I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through
Im just an intern
I still make a mistake or two
I was last in my class
Barely passsed at the institute
Now Im trying to avoid, yah Im trying to avoid
A malpractise suit
Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants are my line
Better give me all your gause nurse
This patients fading fast
Complications have set in
Dont know how long hell last
Let me see, that i.v.
Here we go - time to operate
Ill pull his indsides out, pull his insides out
And see what he ate
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Heres a waiver for you to sign
Woe, woe, woe
Its a fact - Im a quack
The disgrace of the a.m.a.
cause my patients die, yah my patients die
Before they can pay
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Got your kidneys on my mind
Like a surgeon, ooh like a surgeon
When I reach inside
With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors
Oh oh, oh oh, woe, oh
Ooh baby, yah
I can hear your heartbeat
For the very last time
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dr. Siegfried Iseman
I said when they handed me my diploma,
I said to myself I will be good
And wise and brave and helpful to others;
I said I will carry the Christian creed
Into the practice of medicine!
Somehow the world and the other doctors
Know what's in your heart as soon as you make
This high-soured resolution.
And the way of it is they starve you out.
And no one comes to you but the poor.
And you find too late that being a doctor
Is just a way of making a living.
And when you are poor and have to carry
The Christian creed and wife and children
All on your back, it is too much!
That's why I made the Elixir of Youth,
Which landed me in the jail at Peoria
Branded a swindler and a crook
By the upright Federal Judge!
poem by Edgar Lee Masters
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Back Where You Belong
Ooh Ive been down there a million times
If Ive been down before
Never thought Id hurt so bad
To see you play the fool
Never mountain high enough
I said and I watched you climb
Till the day I saw you walk out of your life and mine
So Im gonna leave you just because I want you
Back where you belong
Gonna make you see just what youve doing to me
Back where you belong
Be home right by my side is where you want to be
Back where you belong
Standing in the shadows
Watch your never-ending flight
Just how high as high to be before you see the light
Will this be the change you need to show you who you are
I love you but Ill leave you just to prove youve gone too far
Soon Im gonna leave you just because I want you
Back where you belong
Gonna make you see just what youve doing to me
Back where you belong
Be home right by my side is where you want to be
Back where you belong
Cant you see youre losing me using me
Back where you belong
Heaven knows I love you will this make you see
Back where you belong
So Im gonna leave you just because I want you
Back where you belong
Gonna make you see just what youve doing to me
Back where you belong
Be home right by my side is where you want to be
Back where you belong
Dont you understand my feelings and
Set me free
Dont you realize it...
song performed by by Donna Summer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your Not A Lady
So you say that you are a lady
Well that's hard for me to believe,
As I known the life that you have led
And the life now that you do lead.
You cheat around and you do also lie
And you curse and drink more than any man,
You cant teach virtues too your own two daughters
As them yourself, you don't understand.
You say you might be a lady
Well that I think could never be
As a lady doesn't brag on hickeys from other men
Or leave their husbands for other men to see.
And while their home is sleeping
A lady doesn't crawl out of the bed of her spouse
While her own daughters are their still asleep
And runs to bed a man who lives in a broken house.
So you say you think you might be a lady
I think I have heard that story once before
As a lady marries for love and then forever
And not for escape, and later to become a whore.
And a lady is known by both woman and man
Wherever she might go or where she might be
And the people see meets and that she greets
They can tell you, that She is truly a lady.
So now you say you wish you were a lady
Well that of course will never be
As a lady is married to the man she is with
And not used by him or by other men in discreet.
And a lady doesn't lie or doesn't cheat or even steal
She doesn't leave from one man to another
And she wont change her hair so people wont stare
And she doesn't blame her fault on her own mother.
So you say that you are not a lady
I am so glad you finally accepted that fact
As a lady is a roll model for daughters everywhere,
And not for advertisement for when she is on her back.
A lady is virtuous and is loyal and ever so caring
And those are the qualities that you never had
She is also devoted to her man and is a good mother
A lady you never was, or will be, and that makes me sad.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
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Only Woman Bleed
Man's got his woman to take his seed
He's got the power - oh
She's got the need
She spends her life through pleasing up her man
She feeds him dinner or anything she can
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Man makes your hair gray
He's your life's mistake
All you're really lookin' for is an even break
He lies right at you
You know you hate this game
He slaps you once in a while and you live and love in pain
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Black eyes all of the time
Don't spend a dime
Clean up this grime
And you there down on your knees begging me please come
Watch me bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Only Women Bleed
Man's got his woman to take his seed
He's got the power - oh
She's got the need
She spends her life through pleasing up her man
She feeds him dinner or anything she can
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Man makes your hair gray
He's your life's mistake
All you're really lookin' for is an even break
He lies right at you
You know you hate this game
He slaps you once in a while and you live and love in pain
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Black eyes all of the time
Don't spend a dime
Clean up this grime
And you there down on your knees begging me please come
Watch me bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
song performed by by Alice Cooper from Welcome To My Nightmare
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Room For The Life
Hey there, you lady in tears,
Do you think that they care if theyre real, woman?
They just take it as part of the deal.
Lost in your men and the games you play.
Trying to prove that youre better, woman.
But you neednt get heavy with them.
Like it or not, we were built tough,
Because were woman.
No, we never die for long,
While weve got that little life
To live for, where its hid inside.
No, we never die for long,
Oh! woman, two in one,
Theres room for a life in your womb, woman,
Inside of you can be two, woman,
Theres room for a life in your womb, woman,
Mama woman, aha!
Night after night in the quiet house,
Plaiting her hair by the fire, woman,
With no lover to free her desire,
How long do you think she can stick it out?
How long do you think before shell go out, woman?
Hey! get up on your feet and go get it, now.
Like it or not, we keep bouncing back,
Because were woman.
No, we never die for long,
While weve got that little life
To live for, where its hid inside.
Oh! woman, two in one,
Theres room for a life in your womb, woman,
Inside of you can be two, woman,
Theres room for a life in your womb, woman,
Mama woman, aha!
A-mama-woma-mama-woman-aha!
A-mama-woma-mama-woman-aha!
Oh, mama-woman, two-in-a-one, aha!
Oh, two in one, aha!
Oh, woman! woman! woman! woman!
Theres room for a life in your womb!
Theres room for a life in your womb!
Two in one, aha!
Two in one! two in one! two in one!
Room for a life in your womb.
song performed by by Kate Bush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Only Women Bleed
Man's got his woman to take his seed
He's got the power - oh
She's got the need
She spends her life through pleasing up her man
She feeds him dinner or anything she can
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Man makes your hair gray
He's your life's mistake
All you're really lookin' for is an even break
He lies right at you
You know you hate this game
He slaps you once in a while and you live and love in pain
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Black eyes all of the time
Don't spend a dime
Clean up this grime
And you there down on your knees begging me please come
Watch me bleed.
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
song performed by by Guns N' Roses
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Women Iii
It took a lot of reasoning
Before she got to please him
She made a combination
Of despair and inspiration
A mother and a mistress
A sister to her sisters
A child who hoped her dreams come true
But now she's only stuck with you
At least she has a home to share
A man who comes to do her hair
A garden with a patio
A place to have a barbecue
The envy of her neighbors
Who smile and wave and ask her
If they could live for just a day
In luxury and ecstasy
But it's a long way home
From where she's come
And it's a long way back
Too much to ask
The trash is in the garbage can
The mystery of wonderland
One day she thinks of leaving him
The next she treats him like a king
She hears it on the radio
She sees it on the video
She wait s until the kids have grown
And then she thinks she'll start again
But it's a long way home
From where she's come
And it's a long way back
Too much to ask
Before she gave her friends a ring
She promised almost everything
They ran away to paradise
But everything will have its price
From woman number one
To woman number two
Now she's woman number three
And she thinks that she's lucky
But it's a long way home
From where where's come
And it's a long way back
Too much to ask
From x y z
To women iii
song performed by by Omd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Barney Hainsfeather
If the excursion train to Peoria
Had just been wrecked, I might have escaped with my life --
Certainly I should have escaped this place.
But as it was burned as well, they mistook me
For John Allen who was sent to the Hebrew Cemetery
At Chicago,
And John for me, so I lie here.
It was bad enough to run a clothing store in this town,
But to be buried here -- ach!
poem by Edgar Lee Masters
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Woman Thou art Free
To be a woman there are certain characteristics that you embody
That set you apart, ain't nothing like a strong woman with a good heart.
Some say they curse the day God made woman, but only God understand that he created it
for us to see the good and the bad, life for some without a woman is really sad.
The woman was made to feel the pain and the man to work the land.
But in everything God had a plan.
Women have come a long way from the kitchen to the runway.
Women have broken down all barriers,
and have proven to be able to compete at all levels, so much that it marvels.
Women's long battle for equality and right have gotten them to unite.
Their strength and unity have given them the courage to embrace every opportunity
under the social and economical horizon;
they are now prospering over the men in the dozens.
They now take full advantage for all the times they've been denied passage.
Women have become leaders, more than conquerors,
strong educators, powerful motivators and labourers.
Yet women have not forgotten their role in the home, though some are not full-time.
A little independence is not a crime. But still they are able to make the house a home,
put food on the table, keep their lives stable
for at the end of the day, at home is where their hearts will always stay
so we thank God for Women's Day.
International Women's Day 2012
poem by Mysia Hayling
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Hoodoo Voodoo Lady
Yeah hoodoo voodoo lady cast up your voodoo vision
Let me know where did my baby go where did my lovin' baby go
Hoodoo voodoo lady shake your black cat tooth and your mojo bone
And bring my baby home bring my baby back home yeah
I know she didn't go up to New York City
She thinks that New York City is a little too pretty
I know she didn't go to sunny California
For she thinks that California is a little too phoney
I don't think she went up to north Alaska
She'd've told me cept I might forgot to ask her
And I don't think she went to east St Louis
But she might've gone to China for a little Chop Suey
Wherever she is I'm gonna run right there with you just tell me where
Hoodoo voodoo lady make me a doll that I can stick with pins
So that I can win my baby back again
(Yeah c'mon do somethin' weird and mystical...)
[ guitar ]
Yeah I don't think I'll find her in the Okefenokee
Cause the Okefenokee is too wet and smoky
And I don't think I'll find her up in Mississippi
She may be crazy but she ain't that flippy
And she might've seen her sister in Amarillo
And she might've gone to Philly just to see another feller
She might be drillin' oil in North Dakota
Might have gone to Iceland for an icecream soda
But I gotta get her back if I'm gonna get well so cast your spell
Voodoo hoodoo lady mix me a potion hot bubbly and black
That I can sprinkle on her crack and maybe bring my baby back
(Hoodoo voodoo lady let me know where did that woman of mine go)
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Grey Lady Of The Sea
(lebon)
Youve whispered out loud
But your breeze doesnt bend
Were lying in the palm of your hand
No land we see, no place to be
The salt of your tears, adds stain to our hearts
Theres no long years can tear us apart
Our futures entwined with your past
Because when we lie awake
Well be thinking of you
Blow, grey lady blow your ships back home
Blow, grey lady blow your ships back home
Bravado is all but gone
And patience is down
You scared us and youve turned us around
But you wont let us drown
Because when we lie asleep
Well be dreaming of you
Blow, grey lady blow your ships back home
Blow, grey lady blow your ships back home
So answer us when we call
And say if you think were old
When life is so short we can stay long
But youll never be alone
Because one day well return
Well be waiting for you
Blow, grey lady blow your ships back home
Blow, grey lady blow your ships back home
Blow, grey lady blow your ships back home
Blow, grey lady blow your ships back home
Blow, grey lady blow your ships back home
song performed by by Duran Duran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lady Luck
Theres a woman in new orleans
Said to love me she was born
But that was friday payday
By sunday she was gone
So I drove on down to texas
Where I did not do to well
I fell hard for this woman child
Turn ou she came from...well
Lady luck help me hold on
Lady luck help me hold on
To one that I love
Well I had no luck with women
Thought Id try my hand at cards
So I headed for nevada
Gonna really take them on
But the way the hands were fallin
And the way the money goes
You could say its getting colder
You could say I nearly froze
Lady luck help me hold on
Lady luck help me hold on
To one that I love
So I started playing guitar
In a southern boogie band
And the ladies I was meeting
Make you want to buy the farm
Gettin tired of saving souvenirs
Dont remind me where theyre from
And the nights come on like magic
In the morning its all gone
Lady luck help me hold on
Lady luck help me hold on
To one that I love
Lady luck help me hold on
To one that I love
Lady luck help me hold on
Lady luck help me hold on
To one that I love
Lady luck help me hold on
Lady luck help me hold on
(mccafferty,agnew,charlton,sweet)
Copyright 1989 m.a.c.s. music
song performed by by Nazareth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One Short Story
He was a boy
Who felt like a man
She was a girl
From a far away land
Far more beautiful
Than the picture in his hand
She had eyes
That would draw him in
They took a plane ride
Together they would find
Her long lost smile
They went home again
Back to her friends
Back to repair her heart
He loved this girl
With all of his heart
He wanted her mind
Her secrets and her trust
She would never do him any harm
He'd give her the world
If it sat in his palm
One rainy day
It was dark in the sky
She turned and she said to him
With grey in her eyes
Go home again
Go back to your friends
Go back and repair your heart
Go home again
Go back to your friends
Go back and repair your heart
His heart turned to liquid
And it trickled from his eyes
All he could do now
At this point in his life
Was to go home again
Back to his friends
Back to repair his heart
Go home again
Go back to your friends
Go back and repair your heart
song performed by by Xavier Rudd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One Short Story
He was a boy
Who felt like a man
She was a girl
From a far away land
Far more beautiful
Than the picture in his hand
She had eyes
That would draw him in
They took a plane ride
Together they would find
Her long lost smile
They went home again
Back to her friends
Back to repair her heart
He loved this girl
With all of his heart
He wanted her mind
Her secrets and her trust
She would never do him any harm
He'd give her the world
If it sat in his palm
One rainy day
It was dark in the sky
She turned and she said to him
With grey in her eyes
Go home again
Go back to your friends
Go back and repair your heart
Go home again
Go back to your friends
Go back and repair your heart
His heart turned to liquid
And it trickled from his eyes
All he could do now
At this point in his life
Was to go home again
Back to his friends
Back to repair his heart
Go home again
Go back to your friends
Go back and repair your heart
song performed by by Xavier Rudd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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