Anything Good On The Telly?
I was happier with one channel
A long, long time ago...
To watch, record and plan all
The programmes it would show...
Along came 2 and 3 and 4
And then came number 5...
And after that, Sky brought us more,
For me and for the wife...
We then got Virgin Media,
With TV, Broadband, phone...
And then my wife got greedier,
So we took out a loan...
I got a brand new aerial
And climbed up on the roof...
I fell off and the wounds won't heal,
I also broke a tooth...
At last we're getting Freeview
And so we cancelled Sky...
We dropped Virgin Media, too...
And one whole month passed by...
September's retune wasn't good
For neighbours in our street...
Now no-one in the neighbourhood
Gets Freeview, once so sweet.
We've all been told we must upgrade
From boxes that went wrong...
And throw away the ones they made
That didn't work for long...
So off I went to try again
For bargains I could find...
Some boxes were beyond my ken
And put me in a bind...
December's retune's on its way...
God knows what happens next!
I think I'll wait till Christmas Day,
So I won't get perplexed!
I might return to Sky, who knows?
I'll have to wait and see...
I could get lucky, I suppose...
And win the lottery!
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Happy Birthday, BID TV!
God bless you on your birthday!
Thank you for Megadeals!
When prices plummet all the way
That's something that appeals!
It's then that we are most inclined,
To switch our TVs on...
So many bargains we can find...
Act fast before they're gone!
First come, first served! Get on that phone!
Sometimes to multibuy!
So many Christmas gifts to own,
Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my!
Of course, it helps to save a pound,
Yet there's much more to tell...
To think,12 years you've been around,
With penny deals as well...
Framed Stephen Gayfords now and then,
Fantastic fashions, too...
And with gifts for home and garden,
Let's thank God for Freeview!
You're my favourite of all stations...
You share such happiness!
So enjoy your celebrations!
12 years of sweet success...
Denis Martindale, copyright, October 2012.
Bid TV is on UK's Sky and Virgin Media
as well as Freesat and Freeview and
there's a live broadcast on its website.
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Boast About Your Bargains!
Price-drop-tv is where it's at,
If money you would save,
That's where they like to trim the fat
Off items that we crave!
From gadgets through to jewellery,
The list goes on and on,
The prices plummet till they see
Their present stock's all gone!
Some shopping channels stare amazed
When viewers pay much less,
That's why the channel's highly praised
Based on our happiness!
Consider what you'd pay elsewhere!
It's frightening when you think!
Price-drop-tv, just doesn't care,
They let the prices sink!
Yes, my home's now full of bargains,
They're there in every room...
The money saved just simply stuns,
Much more than you'd assume!
So, take advantage, just like me...
Remember to be kind!
Each time you watch price-drop-tv,
Keep other folks in mind!
I've saved a fortune every year,
My receipts are the proof!
The facts are there, quite crystal clear,
I'm telling you the truth!
I've bought things for a penny!
I've bought things for a pound!
Yes, in fact, I've bought so many,
I boast bargains that astound!
Denis Martindale, copyright, June 2012.
A poem celebrating price-drop-tv's 9th birthday
here in the UK, where the shopping channel is
on Sky, Virgin Media, Freesat and Freeview.
Visit Facebook: facebook-dot-com/pricedrop
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Freeview User Manual
Blah, blah, blah, blah... Batteries in.
Switch on... Scan for Freeview channels...
No channels found. Plug in aerial.
Scan for Freeview channels again...
Found 3 channels. Are you kidding me?
Page 12. Try a signal booster...
Later that afternoon...
Another £20 that's cost me!
Plug in aerial. Find a spare cable.
Fit cable to Freeview box...
Scan again... Channels in the wrong order.
Page 13. Top of page: Delete channels.
Page 13. Try manual scan...
Finally...100 channels.
Later that evening...
30 channels disappeared. Flipping thing!
Remove aerial. Autoscan. No channels.
Reconnect aerial. Pause for some whiskey...
Rescan channels. Ah... Click Save channels!
Check EPG. What's the EPG?
Page 205. Technical Terms Explained.
Later the next morning...
Page 16. How to record a programme...
OK, why's the first 5 minutes not there?
Page 17. Missing segments in recordings?
Page 18. Using Timeshift rewind playback.
Press rewind button and again, again and again.
Pause at chosen start point for manual recording.
Press record then start button.
Fast forward to end of programme...
Rewind to end of programme...
Fast forward to end of programme...
Press record and stop button.
Where's the stop button?
Page 4. Remote control buttons guide.
Press the stop button...
Later that afternoon... in the shop...
Hi, I've brought this Freeview thing back.
What's wrong with it, mate?
It's flipping driving me m.m.mental!
Denis Martindale, copyright February 2011.
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Waited So Long
(carly simon)
Please tell my sweet mother
Go on now tell uncle paul
Tell all my girlfriends
Not to wait for me
Daddy, Im no virgin
And Ive already waited too long
Raise up your eyebrows
Raise, I said raise your glasses with a song
But dont expect me to be home tonight
Daddy, Im sorry
But Ive already waited too long
I met a boy with eyes of green
The warmest eyes Id ever seen
He gave his lovin love to me
The way Ive always heard it would be
Daddy, please forgive me
And Ive already waited so long
So blow, blow, blow out the candles
Make my bed wide and long
Tell all my girlfriends
Not to wait for me
Daddy, Im no virgin
I said Ive already waited too long
Daddy, Im sorry
But Ive already waited so long
song performed by by Carly Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Entertainment Overload!
I've got programmes on my Sky box
And on my TiVo, too...
And every series I think rocks,
Is stored on my Freeview...
Catchup TV is on the go,
Pick channel, time and place
And with the news, I'm in the know,
Till I'm blue in the face!
Sometimes I sleep, I just nod off,
Some shut eye then occurs,
But when I wake, I've slept enough
And clear my eyes from blurs!
I check the EPG What's On
And choose a show to watch
And yet as soon as it has gone,
I check a different box...
I hate those logos on the screen,
Voiceovers at the end,
As they're the worst I've heard or seen,
They drive me round the bend!
I've given up on videos,
I've switched to DVDs,
I buy in bulk, record my shows,
Then play them when I please!
I hate the TV licence yet
It's cheaper than the fine!
A thousand pounds! I'll not forget!
That scares like Frankenstein!
There's no point having holidays,
Because they don't make sense,
I'm entertained so many ways...
Despite the vast expense!
Denis Martindale, copyright, October 2012.
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wait For Me
Wait for me; oh, wait for me
I cried out as I sailed away.
My words were lost to the wind
for you didn’t wait for me.
Years passed on so quickly by,
we grew up, got married,
but my heart still cried.
Wait for me, oh, wait for me.
Our lives moved on in directions
of which we had no control.
Our circumstances changed
within every passing year
and every so often in the wind
my plaintive cries could be heard.
Wait for me; oh. wait for me
as I had so long waited
for you to fill my empty arms.
Finally as we grew older
and all hope seemed fading fast
we met up again by chance.
My heart still sang its song,
wait for me, oh wait for me.
We met one sunny day
and as our glances caught,
we knew right away
across that crowded room.
Our love was to be again
as it was so long before.
My heart now sings a different song.
I waited for you; oh, I waited for you,
now I can sing our September song.
18 December 2008
poem by David Harris
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Time Bomb?
I think i love you
But thought too late
Now it looks like
I'll have to wait
But how long am i gonna have to wait for?
You've found another
And live with her
And now i hardly see you
But think of the good times that we shared
How long am i gonna have to wait for?
Will you ever come back to me?
And start what we never started
I feel it in my heart
Still feels new
Long am i gonna have to wait for?
You always seem glad to see me
An wanna spend more time
Like i wanna spend with you
No lies
Am i gonna have to wait for?
I made you happy
Didn't i?
But it never got that far
I gonna have to wait for?
Our friends said
We were made for each other
But we never saw it then
I see it now
As clear as i see your eyes
Gonna have to wait for?
Do you love her
You said you do
But do you really mean it
Does she feel the same
Have to wait for?
What's the answer
Going to be
Will i know
Or do i carry on
To wait for?
I just don't know
Wait for?
Running outta time
For?
poem by Lucy Vernezze
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bitter truth be unknown
As long as you don’t know
That your wife is not virgin,
That she is not adulterous
And that your son is not yours
It is as good as
She is virgin, chaste and faithful.
Bitter truth better be unknown
18.03.2007
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Happy Birthday, June 2012
I can't believe another year
Has come and gone again!
Price-drop-TV has brought us cheer
And gets ten out of ten!
Just think of all the money shaved
Off prices every day!
Just think of all the money saved
And shout hip, hip, hooray!
I can't believe the one pound deals
Or those one penny shocks!
I stare amazed and my head reels
'Cos price-drop-TV rocks!
I've bought my prezzies by the score
And Stephen Gayfords, too!
If I were rich, I'd buy some more,
Just like collectors do!
Praise God for precious gifts we've seen,
Like diamonds, rubies, pearls
And tanzanite fit for the Queen,
Princesses, ladies, girls...
Yes, happy birthday! Where's the cake?
What's that, they haven't any?
My word, come on, for goodness sake!
They sold it for a penny!
Denis Martindale, copyright, June 2012.
A poem celebrating price-drop-tv's 9th birthday
here in the UK, where the shopping channel is
on Sky, Virgin Media, Freesat and Freeview.
Visit the username (pricedrop) on facebook!
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nieces Pieces
I can't wait to watch you get older
I can't wait to meet that first boy that breaks your life
I can't wait till you realize the family you've been born into
I can't wait to watch you turn from good to bad
I can't wait to tell your grandpa made your mommy
play stripper while your uncle watched
I can't wait to tell you I punched your mommy in the chest
In front of her new friends
I can't wait till you realize mommy's heart is broken
I can't wait to watch you grow up around the people who broke it
song performed by by Xiu Xiu
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nieces Pieces
I can't wait to watch you get older
I can't wait to meet that first boy that breaks your life
I can't wait till you realize the family you've been born into
I can't wait to watch you turn from good to bad
I can't wait to tell your grandpa made your mommy
play stripper while your uncle watched
I can't wait to tell you I punched your mommy in the chest
In front of her new friends
I can't wait till you realize mommy's heart is broken
I can't wait to watch you grow up around the people who broke it
song performed by by Xiu Xiu
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'll Be Home For Christmas
I'll be home for Christmas
I'll be home just in time
I can't wait 'till I see you
Feel your heart next to mine
We'll Be Together again like before
You and I all alone
I'll hold you close when I walk through that door
I'll be home for Christmas
La-la-la-la la-la-la-la
La-la-la la-la-la la-la-la la-la-la
La-la-la-la la-la-la-la
La-la-la la-la-la-la
We can stay by the fire
With the lights turned down low
We can watch happy children
As they play in the snow
Though I may be far away from you now
Darling I promise this
It wont be long 'till we're sharing a kiss
I'll be home for Christmas
Do-do do-do-do do-do do-do-do do-do do-do-do
Do-do do-do-do do-do do-do-do-dum
Do-do do-do-do do-do do-do-do do-do do-do-do
Do-do do-do-do do-do do-do-do-dum
I'll be home for Christmas
I'll be home Christmas time
When you wait Christmas morning
I'll be there by your side
La-la-la-la la-la-la-la
La-la-la la-la-la la-la-la la-la-la
La-la-la-la la-la-la-la
La-la-la la-la-la-la
(repeat to close)
song performed by by Boney M.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Walnut Tree
Once there was a great storm
Pushed my head beneath the waves, I was gone
Underneath the walnut tree
Where you said you'd wait for me
And I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
Why, why do I come here?
Seeking out the memories I handed
Cause you put your spell on me
Made me live a memory
And I'm frozen in just the wrong time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
song performed by by Keane
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Father Spoke in Code
Father spoke in code
Mother understood.
She would cry
once he went to bed.
I never understood the code.
My sister didn't either.
As we got older, we quit
asking Mother what he said.
A feral cat claimed our yard.
It would leap the fence
when anyone appeared.
Except, of course, Father.
When he came out to walk
around the garden after supper,
the cat would sit straight up,
then rub against his leg
and look at him as if it understood
what others never could.
My sister used to say
the two of us were proof
Father and Mother
got together twice.
I told her I wasn't so certain.
I looked a lot like Mr. Brompton,
the next-door neighbor.
He used to buy us sugar cones
from the ice cream truck.
My sister, by the way, didn't look
like anyone in the family either,
but that was 40 years ago
when I last saw her.
I went away to college
and she got married.
We were never close after that.
Not even Christmas cards.
Forty years is a long time.
Now, we plan to get together
for a weekend this summer
before one of us dies.
I suggested we wait
till one of us is terminal.
What's the rush, I said.
But my wife told her
I was only kidding,
that we'll be coming
and not to make a fuss.
Burgers and hot dogs
will do just fine.
I know what Sis and I
will talk about that weekend,
the two people we'll always
have in common, no matter
how many years and miles
may lie between us.
Father and Mother have been
dead for decades now
but they're still alive in us.
I talk in code, my wife says,
and my sister cries a lot,
now that her husband's dead.
The one thing I want to know
is if my sister knows
what happened to the cat.
It knew the code,
may have had some answers.
poem by Donal Mahoney
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Hes A Go Getter
Hes a go getter, go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
Now Ive got a neighbor that lives down the road a ways
His wife holds down a steady job, he dont turn his hand all day
I know that most of you will know the kind Im talkin about
The kind that rather than have to work, hed rather do without
But hes a go getter, a go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
Theres a group of men in the court house yard any time that you go by
Playin checkers and tradin odds and makin jokes about their wives
They wait all week for pay day and they hold the moneys plenty
And the wife thats worked those long hard hours never gets a penny
But hes a go getter, a go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
Yes hes a go getter, a go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
Hes a go getter, a go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Draxy's Hymn
I cannot think but God must know
About the thing I long for so;
I know He is so good, so kind,
I cannot think but He will find
Some way to help, some way to show
Me to the thing I long for so.
I stretch my hand-it lies so near:
It looks so sweet, it looks so dear.
'Dear Lord,' I pray, 'Oh, let me know
If it is wrong to want it so?'
He only smiles-He does not speak:
My heart grows weaker and more weak,
With looking at the thing so dear,
Which lies so far, and yet so near.
Now, Lord, I leave at thy loved feet
This thing which looks so near, so sweet;
I will not seek, I will not long-
almost fear I have been wrong.
I'll go, and work the harder, Lord,
And wait till by some loud, clear word
Thou callest me to thy loved feet,
To take this thing so dear, so sweet.
poem by Helen Hunt Jackson
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Run On
(traditional - arranged by elvis presley)
Well you may run on for a long time
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time
Let me tell you God almighty gonna cut you down
Go tell that long tongued liar, oh well well
Go tell that midnight rider, oh well well
Tell the gambler, rambler, back-biter
Tell them God almighty gonna cut them down
Stop God almighty let me tell you the news
My heads been wet with the midnight dews
Coming down on my bended knees
Talking to the man from galilee
My God spoke and he spoke so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of angels feet
He put one hand upon my head
Great God almighty let me tell you what he said
Go tell that long tongued liar, oh well well
Go tell that midnight rider, oh well well
Tell the gambler, rambler, back-biter
Tell them God almighty gonna cut them down
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time,
Let me tell you God almighty gonna cut you down
You may throw your rock and hide your hand
Working in the dark against your fellow man
As sure as God made the day and the night
What you do in the dark will be brought to the light
You may run and hide, slip and slide
Trying to take the mote from your neighbours eyes
As sure as God made the rich and poor
You gonna reap just what you sow
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time
Let me tell you God almighty gonna cut you down
Go tell that long tongued liar, oh well well
Go tell that midnight rider, oh well well
Tell the gambler, rambler, back-biter
Tell them God almighty gonna cut them down
Some people go to church just to sit in the fire
Trying to make a date with the neighbours wife
Brother let me tell you as sure as youre born
You better leave that woman alone
Because one of these days mark my word
You think that brother is going to work
And youll sneak up and knock on that door
Thats all brother youll knock no more
Run on for a long time,
Run on for a long time
Let me tell you God almighty gonna cut you down
Go tell that long tongued liar, oh well well
Go tell that midnight rider, oh well well
Tell the gambler, rambler, back-biter
Tell them God almighty gonna cut them down
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Boxes
On our first date he told me of
the box,
‘Pandora's Box',
would I have him open it or not?
Would I let him go that far?
Should we wait a while?
Would I let him lift the lid?
This kind of made me smile.
Boxes were his weapons
for such a life he'd led,
and to frighten little souls like mine
he'd wrapped a box to send.
What would I find within it,
what would its inners be?
Would I find some demons
or would I find a key?
So I thought on this a moment
and then I answered thus,
'If I asked you that question
would you hesitate or trust? '
With this he shrugged his shoulders,
he grinned and winked his eye.
'I'm not frightened of mere boxes
I dare you, do or die! '
So I told him 'Open it,
let its dust spill out.
for whatever lay beneath its lid
would edify, no doubt."
So he spilled out all its secrets
of pranks and devilry,
of worldliness and foolishness
like an artist's gallery.
I listened with wide eyes
to this colourful display
until the torrent ceased
and he put the box away.
Most people have their boxes
some large some very small
but the saddest people in the world
don't have a box at all.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Long Way To Go (feat. Andr 3000)
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
Her/His skin wasn't the same color as mine
But she/he was fine, she/he was fine
If all men are made equal
Then she/he was fine, she/he was fine
Up until the time we went out on a date
I was fine, I was fine
Now I'm getting dirty looks, I wonder what they'd say
If we were blind, we were blind people
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
Beauty is beauty, whether it's black or white
Yellow or green baby, you know what I mean
What if Picasso only used one color
There shouldn't be a rule, how to choose your lover
Lovers in love is such a wonderful thing
Maybe in time, we'll get together and sing
I really hope so, there's nothing wrong with this picture
We got a long way to go, we gotta get there quicker
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
What color is love [3x]
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
...that all men are created equal...
...children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by...
...by the color of their skin...
...but by the content of their character...
...this will be the day when all of God's children...
...will be able to sing with new meaning...
...not only that...
song performed by by Gwen Stefani
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Long Way To Go
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
Her/His skin wasn't the same color as mine
But she/he was fine, she/he was fine
If all men are made equal
Then she/he was fine, she/he was fine
Up until the time we went out on a date
I was fine, I was fine
Now I'm getting dirty looks, I wonder what they'd say
If we were blind, we were blind people
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
Beauty is beauty, whether it's black or white
Yellow or green baby, you know what I mean
What if Picasso only used one color
There shouldn't be a rule, how to choose your lover
Lovers in love is such a wonderful thing
Maybe in time, we'll get together and sing
I really hope so, there's nothing wrong with this picture
We got a long way to go, we gotta get there quicker
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
What color is love [3x]
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
We've got a long way to go
When snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come
We've got a long way to go
It's beyond Martin Luther, upgrade computer
...that all men are created equal...
...children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by...
...by the color of their skin...
...but by the content of their character...
...this will be the day when all of God's children...
...will be able to sing with new meaning...
...not only that...
song performed by by Gwen Stefani
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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