A Glutton's Lament
Why did I have that last slice of cake
When I'd already eaten enough?
I'm doubled up now with acute tummy ache
And I'm feeling so horribly rough!
Why, when I'd had much more than my share
Did I wolf down that trifle so quick?
I'd eaten my meal, and the leftovers there.
Now I'm think that I'm gonna be sick!
Why, oh why, did I have treacle tart
With custard piled on inches high!
It feels like my abdomen's coming apart
And I'm sure that I'm going to die! ! !
Was it only last week that I said I would quit:
I'd give up the binge-ing and diet?
Well, I'm going to start now, to get myself fit! !
Yes,
Next week, I'll certainly try it! ! ! !
poem by Dawn Ferrett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Thigh Way (Song Parody of 'My Way')
to the tune of 'MY Way'
And now, my weigh-ins near
and my poor scale faces destruction
I've cheated, had some LITE beers
then gotten quotes for liposuction
I've eaten way past full
and then had one more for the highway
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way!
Bagettes, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention
I love my salty snacks
but that's what gave me hypertension
I planned each 3 course meal
at greasy spoons along the highway
Ive gotten old
I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
Yes there were times when I was blue
Ice cream in quarts, I would go through
but through it all, despite the gout
I'd eat it in, or take it out
I ate it all, - and I'm not tall
don't diet my way
I've lunched, I've wined and dined
I've had my failed attempts at losing
but now my jeans just split
and it no longer seems amusing.
To think I ate it all
and may I say not in a shy way
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
For what is a meal without cake for desert
and JOGGING IS DANGEROUS - a guy could get hurt
I ate the foods I truly craved
and never once was fashion's slave
The weight-in shows, I need new clothes
don't diet my way!
poem by John F. McCullagh
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End Of The Week
I get out of work
And then I throw away all of my cares
I get out of work
And then I wash the week out my hair
Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday
Its hard as could be
But by old friday evening
Were free, were free, were free
End of the week
The weekend started
Been working so hard to play
End of the week
Its time to party
End of the week
End of the week
End of the week
Youre tasting freedom
No one to push you around
End of the week
And life has a reason
End of the week
End of the week
End of the week
Street are alive
You know everybodys going somewhere
You put on the slide
You gotta beat the crowd just everywhere
And all the music all the dancing
Get you so high
And all that sweet romancing
Oh my, oh my, oh my
End of the week
The weekend started
Working so hard to play
End of the week
Its time to party
End of the week
End of the week
End of the week
Feels good now
Feels good now
End of the week
End of the week
Its real good now
Real good now
End of the week
End of the week
End of the week
song performed by by Donna Summer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cake And Eat It
when I was a child
people kept telling me
you can't have your cake
and eat it...
I replied what point
is there to having a cake
if you do not eat it
cake is made to be eaten...
and if the kept cake
is soon not enjoyed eaten
it will be stale turn rotten
be thrown away wasted...
poem by Terence George Craddock
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Chocolate Cake
I love chocolate cake.
And when I was a boy
I loved it even more.
Sometimes we used to have it for tea
and Mum used to say,
'If there's any left over
you can have it to take to school
tomorrow to have at playtime.'
And the next day I would take it to school
wrapped up in tin foil
open it up at playtime
and sit in the corner of the playground
eating it,
you know how the icing on top
is all shiny and it cracks as you
bite into it,
and there's that other kind of icing in
the middle
and it sticks to your hands and you
can lick your fingers
and lick your lips
oh it's lovely.
yeah.
Anyway,
once we had this chocolate cake for tea
and later I went to bed
but while I was in bed
I found myself waking up
licking my lips
and smiling.
I woke up proper.
'The chocolate cake.'
It was the first thing
1 thought of.
I could almost see it
so I thought,
what if I go downstairs
and have a little nibble, yeah?
It was all dark
everyone was in bed
so it must have been really late
but I got out of bed,
crept out of the door
there's always a creaky floorboard, isn't there?
Past Mum and Dad's room,
careful not to tread on bits of broken toys
or bits of Lego
you know what it's like treading on Lego
with your bare feet,
yowwww
shhhhhhh
downstairs
into the kitchen
open the cupboard
and there it is
all shining.
So I take it out of the cupboard
put it on the table
and I see that
there's a few crumbs lying about on the plate,
so I lick my finger and run my finger all over the crumbs
scooping them up
and put them into my mouth.
oooooooommmmmmmmm
nice.
Then
I look again
and on one side where it's been cut,
it's all crumbly.
So I take a knife
I think I'll just tidy that up a bit,
cut off the crumbly bits
scoop them all up
and into the mouth
oooooommm mmmm
nice.
Look at the cake again.
That looks a bit funny now,
one side doesn't match the other
I'll just even it up a bit, eh?
Take the knife
and slice.
This time the knife makes a little cracky noise
as it goes through that hard icing on top.
A whole slice this time,
into the mouth.
Oh the icing on top
and the icing in the middle
ohhhhhh oooo mmmmmm.
But now
I can't stop myself
Knife -
1 just take any old slice at it
and I've got this great big chunk
and I'm cramming it in
what a greedy pig
but it's so nice,
and there's another
and another and I'm squealing and I'm smacking my lips
and I'm stuffing myself with it
and
before I know
I've eaten the lot.
The whole lot.
I look at the plate.
It's all gone.
Oh no
they're bound to notice, aren't they,
a whole chocolate cake doesn't just disappear
does it?
What shall 1 do?
I know. I'll wash the plate up,
and the knife
and put them away and maybe no one
will notice, eh?
So I do that
and creep creep creep
back to bed
into bed
doze off
licking my lips
with a lovely feeling in my belly.
Mmmmrnmmmmm.
In the morning I get up,
downstairs,
have breakfast,
Mum's saying,
'Have you got your dinner money?'
and I say,
'Yes.'
'And don't forget to take some chocolate cake with you.'
I stopped breathing.
'What's the matter,' she says,
'you normally jump at chocolate cake?'
I'm still not breathing,
and she's looking at me very closely now.
She's looking at me just below my mouth.
'What's that?' she says.
'What's what?' I say.
'What's that there?'
'Where?'
'There,' she says, pointing at my chin.
'I don't know,' I say.
'It looks like chocolate,' she says.
'It's not chocolate is it?'
No answer.
'Is it?'
'I don't know.'
She goes to the cupboard
looks in, up, top, middle, bottom,
turns back to me.
'It's gone.
It's gone.
You haven't eaten it, have you?'
'I don't know.'
'You don't know. You don't know if you've eaten a whole
chocolate cake or not?
When? When did you eat it?'
So I told her,
and she said
well what could she say?
'That's the last time I give you any cake to take
to school.
Now go. Get out
no wait
not before you've washed your dirty sticky face.'
I went upstairs
looked in the mirror
and there it was,
just below my mouth,
a chocolate smudge.
The give-away.
Maybe she'll forget about it by next week.
poem by Michael Rosen
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Last Week
Oh, the new-chum went to the backblock run,
But he should have gone there last week.
He tramped ten miles with a loaded gun,
But of turkey of duck saw never a one,
For he should have been there last week,
They said,
There were flocks of 'em there last week.
He wended his way to a waterfall,
And he should have gone there last week.
He carried a camera, legs and all,
But the day was hot and the stream was small,
For he should have gone there last week,
They said,
They drowned a man there last week.
He went for a drive, and he made a start,
Which should have been made last week,
For the old horse died of a broken heart;
So he footed it home and he dragged the cart --
But the horse was all right last week,
They said,
He trotted a match last week.
So he asked all the bushies who came from afar
To visit the town last week
If the'd dine with him, and they said "Hurrah!"
But there wasn't a drop in the whisky jar --
You should have been here last week,
He said,
I drank it all up last week!
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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Eve, Oh Eve
Why wouldn't Eve have eaten of the fruit?
Didn't she have a hand to reach out with,
Fingers with which to make a fist?
Didn't Eve have a stomach for feeling hunger,
A tongue for feeling thirst,
A heart with which to love?
Well, then, why wouldn't Eve have eaten of the fruit?
Why would she merely have suppressed her wishes,
Regulated her steps,
Subdued her thirst?
Why would she have been so compelled
To keep Adam moving around in the Garden of Eden all their lives?
Because Eve did eat of the fruit,
There is sky and earth.
Because she has eaten,
There are moon, sun, rivers, seas,
Because she has eaten, trees, plans and vines.
because Eve has eaten of the fruit
there is joy, because she has eaten there is joy.
joy, joy-
Eating of the fruit, Eve made a heaven of the earth.
Eve, if you get hold of the fruit
don't ever refrain from eating.
poem by Taslima Nasrin
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Apple Pie and Custard
Apple pie and custard
Sitting on the table,
All I have to do is eat my meal
And I'll be able
To pull it close to me,
Pick up my spoon and see,
If it's half as good
As it's made out to be upon the label.
I dunked the spoon and listened
To the soggy sound it made,
The pie split like an earthquake
And 'twas then I was afraid;
The custard ran inside,
No more could I abide,
It was eaten
I was thankful for the money Mum had paid.
(Written Feb 1994)
poem by John Carter Brown
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I Have Taken Your Slice Of Bread
i have taken your slice of bread
from the table
it is for you
as i have already eaten mine
early
this morning
forgive me
i have learned
to eat more
and took
without so much
thinking
your share
the slice of bread
one half bigger
than mine
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Twos Up
(three is company)
Last stand
Down to my last dime
Havent got the sense to leave
The dealers cutting fine
Last draw
Back against the wall
Depending where the money is
Is where Im gonna fall
Ace high
Hide your poker eyes
I didnt want to laugh too much
When I picked up the prize
Lady luck
Standing at my side
Ill leave with more than I brought in
And I get her in my life
Get her in my life
Chorus:
I go, you go, she go, we go
Twos up, its a twos up
Give me head, give me tails
Give me doubled up and coming doubled over on the rails
Give me twos up, its what I want
High up
When youre looking down
Then you see two animals
Just fooling you around
Stray dogs
Gonna take them in
I dont know what your names are
But youre gonna break them in
All day
Its difficult to say
Who is doing what to whom
Whos out of the play
I love
The way you slide and slip
Love the way you girls work out
And make the partnership
Make that partnership
Chorus
(gotta give me double or quits)
Twos up, twos up
Like your partnership
Like the way you slip
There aint nothing like a twos up
Thats the way it is, twos up
Its what I want to hear
Give me head, give me tails
Give me doubled up and coming over on the rails
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Quick Is The Beat Of My Heart
Written by lewis mark
Lead vocals by james young
If its my time to die today
Please God oh make it fast
Balanced on this point for a year and half
I just dont think I can last
Theres a man whos laid to rest
The man who gave me my start
I wish I could quit but I cant and its rough
Quick is the beat of my heart
Quick is the beat of my heart
So please all you people
Dont you grieve for me
The blood in my veins is black and I cant bleed
Ive suffered the pain
And all I can face is the dark
Oh, lord, quick is the beat of my heart
Quick is the beat of my heart
Now my bags are almost packed
The trains about to depart
I wish I could quit but I cant and its rough
Quick is the beat of my heart
Quick is the beat of my heart
Quick is the beat of my heart
Quick is the beat of my heart
Quick is the beat of my heart
Quick is the beat of my heart
If its my time to die...
song performed by by Styx
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'll Eat The Fish
I use to like it well done not rare.
Prepared tenderly as if one cared.
I had to have my steak well cooked and baked.
I use to slice it into pieces split,
With fried potatoes...
And some wine to slowly sip.
But when I changed my diet I got into fish.
And I discovered baked fish was quite delicious.
That was it.
And today there is no beef for me,
I'll eat the fish!
I use to slice my beef into tiny pieces split.
But when I changed my diet I got into the fish.
That was it.
That was it.
And today there is no beef for me I will eat the fish!
That is it for me...
Today I'm on the fish!
I use to like it well done not rare.
Prepared tenderly as if one cared.
I had to have my steak well cooked and baked.
I use to slice it into pieces split,
With fried potatoes...
And some wine to slowly sip.
But today there is no beef for me I will eat the fish!
That is it for me...
Today I'm on the fish!
Today there is no beef for me I will eat the fish!
That is it for me...
Today I'm on the fish!
Even fish sticks,
Will be eaten very quick.
I will handled eating up those fish sticks very quick.
Especially if they're deep fried and battered!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In A Week Or Two
(james house/gary burr)
In a week or two
I would have been ready
I would have known what to say
But I missed my chance
When the words I love you
Came just a little too late
In a week or two
I was gonna bring you diamonds
In a week or two
A long, long string of pearls and
We wouldve run down to the river at night
Sailed away, just me and you
In a week or two
A little more time
Was all I needed
But somehow fall became spring
But put off today
What you can do tomorrow
Sometimes you dont do a thing
In a week or two
I was gonna bring you diamonds
In a week or two
A long, long string of pearls and
We wouldve run down to the river at night
Sailed away, just me and you
In a week or two
These words in my heart never had a chance to be heard
But Im telling you now for all that its worth
In a week or two
I was gonna bring you diamonds
In a week or two
A long, long string of pearls and
We wouldve run down to the river at night
Sailed away, just me and you
In a week or two
song performed by by Diamond Rio
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Week In Week Out
IIs there something more?
Surely there must be
You can't lose everything
So you're quite happy
To live with nothing more
Than a life-long shopping list
You tick off on credit
Well you'll pay for it
Week in and week out
Your lucky charms will always let you down
Maybe next week, we'll see
Maybe
You stand in life completely still
Feel really truly unfulfilled
Week in week out
Where are you going to turn?
When all ambition fails?
Why try any more
If human nature's stale?
Invite the hand of God
To touch the lucky few
There's no such thing as God
Nor easy money too?
Week in and week out
These lucky charms will always let you down
Maybe next week, we'll see
Maybe
You stand in life completely still
Feel really truly unfulfilled
Week in week out
Week in and week out
Your lucky charms will always let you down
Maybe next week, we'll see
Maybe
You stand in life completely still
Feel really truly unfulfilled
Week in week out
song performed by by Ordinary Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wednesday Week
The movies save on conversation
And the tv saves on sight
We met in a head-on collision
So I would say our chances would be slight
You can lead and I will follow
See us dancing cheek to cheek
Youll remember me tomorrow
But you wont give a damn by wednesday week
Say you love me until you do so
Joso singing just like caruso
Three little words roll off your tongue
Somehow your face just doesnt look so young
You say you want to strike a bargain
Now there is no need to speak
You say you want to learn the jargon
But you wont give a damn by wednesday week
You start acting like a zombie
Someone wants your piece of cake
You think you want to jump up on me
But you wont give a damn by wednesday week
Oh what a letdown when the battle was finally won
One little breakdown and then it was over and done
I wish I had your confidence
Its love and not coincidence
Do you say these words to everyone ?
Youre fantastic, youre terrific
Your excellence is almost scientific
You took the words out of my mouth
You put the tongue into my cheek
But Id better lose my memory by wednesday week
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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By Their Works
Who cleaned up the Last Supper?
These would be my people.
Maybe hung over, wanting
desperately a better job,
standing with rags
in hand as the window
beckons with hills
of yellow grass. In Da Vinci,
the blue robed apostle
gesturing at Christ
is saying, give Him the check.
What a mess they've made
of their faith. My God
would put a busboy
on earth to roam
among the waiters
and remind them to share
their tips. The woman
who finished one
half eaten olive
and scooped the rest
into her pockets,
walked her tiny pride home
to children who looked
at her smile and saw
the salvation of a meal.
All that week
at work she ignored
customers who talked
of Rome and silk
and crucifixions,
though she couldn't stop
thinking of this man
who said thank you
each time she filled
His glass.
Custard Pie
Written by: j. page & r. plant
Drop down, baby, let your daddy see.
Drop down, mama, just dream of me
Well, my mama allow me to fool around all night long
Well, I may look like Im crazy, I should know right from wrong
See me comin, throw your man out the door
Aint no stranger, been this way before
See me comin, mama, throw your man out the door
I aint no stranger, I been this way before.
Put on your night shirt and your morning gown
You know by night Im gonna shake em down
Put on your night shirt mama, and your morning gown
Well, you know by night Im gonna shake em down
Your custard pie, yeah, sweet and nice
When you cut it, mama, save me a slice
Your custard pie, I declare, its sweet and nice
I like your custard pie
When you cut it, mama... mama, please save me a slice.
Save me a slice of your custard pie.
Drop down
song performed by by Black Crowes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Favourite Food
Here are some meals, which I really love to eat,
When, at the dinner table, I take my seat.
Lasagne served with a slice of garlic bread,
Is one of my real favourites, it has to be said.
Chunky chips and a tender gammon steak –
A really lovely meal for me, this would make.
Chilli con carne, served with pilau rice,
I also consider to be really rather nice.
A deep pan pizza, especially chicken supreme,
Is guaranteed to set my hungry eyes agleam.
Chicken of any kind, especially southern fried,
Is always a big hit with me, it can’t be denied.
Another of my favourites, is all-day brunch –
On this popular dish, I very often munch.
Britain’s favourite dish, bangers and mash,
I’m always extremely willing to give a bash.
Given lashings of sausage casserole,
I’m guaranteed to scrape my bowl.
I simply love a really good Indian curry,
And will gobble one up in quite a hurry.
The thought of a delicious mixed grill,
Always gives me such a real thrill.
And lovely, tender lamb chops,
For me, are pretty hard to top.
But, cooked to perfection, a Sunday roast,
Is the meal that I really love the most!
So, now here’s a selection of puds,
Which I consider to really rather good.
All of these are lovely and sweet,
And always go down an absolute treat!
At the offer of any fruit crumble,
You will never hear me grumble.
In a slice of gooey, chocolate fudge cake,
I’m always more than happy to partake.
And luscious, creamy tiramisu,
Is one of my favourites to.
A scoop of any flavour of ice cream,
Always goes down an absolute dream.
Offered a bowl of thick, creamy rice,
I wouldn’t need to be asked twice.
Of puddings with lashings of jam,
I’ve always been a particular fan.
At the sight of a fresh strawberry trifle,
My excitement, I have to try and stifle.
A slice of lemon meringue pie,
You will never see me pass by.
I adore hot, sticky, gooey, treacle tart,
It’s a pud which always warms my heart.
Chocolate, cream filled, profiteroles,
Are always guaranteed to fill a hole.
A toffee nut sundae, served in a tall glass,
Is a sweet which I consider to be pure class.
A pastry pie, with any fresh fruit filling,
For me, has always been rather thrilling.
If I was served up any of these, I’d be thrilled,
Even if I was sat right in the middle of a field!
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Eaten Alive
(b. gibb/m. gibb/m. jackson)
Animal stalking you at night
Im a sucker for someone
And I got the prey in sight
Lying on a bed of leaves
In the modern times
You forget and let your spirit breathe
Capture me my blood is red
Another victim of your ritual
For you my skin is shed
Ecstacy aint what you find
In the modern world
One flick of my tongue changes
The meaning of the world
And you say
Thats impossible
Thats not impossible to do, oh
And you digest what I can see
The taste of you can be
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cause youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Eaten alive
I dont ever wanna be
Eaten alive
Now I got you on the run
And the quicker my senses
And the chance is, Im the faster one
I know the universal law
Primeval times
With a little stimulation
Itll come once more, and you say
Thats impossible
Its not impossible to do, oh
And you digest what I can see
The taste of you can be
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cause youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust
You see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Eaten alive
I dont ever wanna be
Eaten alive
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cause youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust
You see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Tie me to a tree, crawl all over me
You can rip my shirt, drag me in the dirt
I will be your slave, anything you say
I dont ever wanna be eaten alive
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Gotta do her, crawl all over me
You can rip my shirt, drag me in the dirt
I will be your slave, anything you say
I dont ever wanna be, eaten alive
song performed by by Diana Ross
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Eaten Alive
Animal stalking you at night
Im a sucker for someone
And I got the prey in sight
Lying on your bed of leaves
In the modern times
You forget and let your spirit breathe
Capture me my blood is red
Another victim of your ritual
For you my skin is shed
Ecstasy aint what you find
In the modern world
One flick of my tongue
Changes the meaning of the word
And you say
Thats impossible
Its not impossible to do , oh
And you can digest what I can see
The taste of you can be
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust ,you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive , eaten alive
I dont ever wanna be , ha,ha, eaten alive , uh huh
Now I got you on the run
The quicker my senses
And the chance is Im the faster one
I know the universal law
Primeval times
With a little stimulation
Itll come once more
And you say
Thats impossible
Its not impossible to do , oh
And you can digest what I can see
The taste of you can be
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust , you see
I dont wanna get eaten live
To be eaten alive , eaten alive
I dont ever wanna be , ha ha , eaten alive , uh huh
(break)
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust ,you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive ,to be
Tie me to a tree , crawl all over me
You can rip my shirt , drag me in the dirt
I will be your slave , anything you say
I dont ever wanna be , ha ha , eaten alive , uh huh
(break)
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust , you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust , you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre dangerous
No more hearts I can trust , you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Gotta do her , crawl all over me
You can rip my shirt , drag me in the dirt
I will be your slave , anything you say
I dont ever wanna be , eaten alive
song performed by by Bee Gees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ernie
I am the bringer of your wishes,
Your saviour from doing work,
The washer of your dishes,and
Youll still get you mid-day perk.
Estate agent,
Your mansion and pot of gold,
All the home comforts,
Before youre getting tired and old.
One more try,
Try to get what youve never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that cant be bad.
We cant all win,
Look its happening,
The futures looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
So when you hear me coming,
Along halls and up the stairs,
Get the black teapot,
In the cupboard, under chairs,
Forget all your wives tales,
Or forecasts and dividends,
E.r.n.i.e. feels vibrations,
Only pays out to trusting friends.
One more try,
Try to get what youve never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that cant be bad.
We cant all win,
Look its happening,
The futures looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
Keep your hand on the bottle,
And your eyes glued upon the set,
When the score cards come up,
Could be you for the big one next.
Publicity, no thank you,
On the front page of the currant bun,
They think you stink,
But in the pub youll be number one.
One more try,
Try to get what youve never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that cant be bad.
We cant all win,
Look its happening,
The futures looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
song performed by by Madness
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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