Talk to Her Handbag and She’ll Hear You (Fun Poem 42)
Vera and I went out for a meal on Saturday night
along with our eldest son, daughter-in-law,
Vera’s sister, her daughter and family.
When we got to the restaurant,
Vera kept saying what?
What?
I asked her if she had her, hearing aid in,
she replied it was in her handbag.
So I announced to everyone
if you want to speak to Vera,
you are going to have to talk to her handbag.
(12 November 2007)
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
The Son Of Vera
I'm - the son of Vera...
I did not write you the letters for long,
Vera Pavlovna.
Winds have carried me away,
Winds were singing me a song
Once - impudently,
The other time - terribly,
At last - plaintively.
I'm - the son of Vera.
Oh, how did you help me, mother!
Mama Vera...
You embraced me on the empty stations, mama Vera.
I'm - the son of Vera.
You were waiting for the useless son to be back, mama Vera...
And you asked me to write
in my letters the only truth, mama Vera...
I'm - the son of Vera!
The Belief not into god, not in angels, not in the next world!
I'm - the son of belief in sun,
Which is shining through the tatters of clouds!
I'm - the son of belief in the labour of a man,
In the flowers on the burnt earth.
I'm - the son of belief!
The belief in the silence under the torture!
And in the song before the execution!
I'm - the son of belief in the terrestial love,
dazzling as a miracle.
I'm - the son of belief in the Morrow
such as I wish it to be!
And in the people, who are wide as a road!
Sincere, and worthy...
I'm - the son of belief, I despise ninnies!
I hate ones, whining and groaning! ..
I write to you only the truth, mama Vera.
Only the truth...
Only here is much a business!
Forgive me,
I'll not be back soon...
poem by Robert Rozhdestvensky, translated by Lyudmila Purgina
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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War Songs
I like new fashion
I like old stories
Like my sister used to tell
This is the voice
This is the picture
I like romantics
But I dont like steven
Old men love war songs
Love vera lynn
Old men love war songs
Now Im vera lynn
I like the welcom
I like my sunbed
But it burns me alove
I like old heroes
I like old filmstars
Dirty pictures........snap snap
I like intrusion
When shes dressed in white
A nervous bride
I dont remember
If shes black or white
This is the heart
Old men love war songs
Love vera lynn
Old men love war songs
Now Im vera lynn
This could be it
This could be nothing
Will you remember
When the sparkle dies down
I like ferraris
I like the fame
Appreciation in the strangest ways
I could believee
In such things for now
Dont like to crash........ climb, climb
I like the dancer
Like youre supposed to
Ill keep my mouth shut
But I dont like this
Old men love war songs
Love vera lynn
Old men love war songs
Now Im vera lynn
song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Vera
Vera dormi un po'
ma non sei cos
dolce come sei
Vera tu mi fai
ma non cos
piano dormi e vai
E pi in l
pi in l
io lo so
tu mi fai
Vera scivola
e sento che sei
dove non sei mai
Ora dormi in me
e so che non dovrei
dirti dove sei
E pi in l
pi in l
io lo so
tu mi fai
song performed by by Verdena
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's for all the women who embrace my aesthetic, but can't afford a Vera Wang dress. If women can get anything out of it - a little bit of me or a lot of me, that's what's important.
La Tua Fretta
Tu lo sai
non cos vera la fretta in te
colpisco a fondo ora che ci sei
e brucio ogni gioia
ma tutto ok
ogni possibilit
infuria nei tuoi perch
tu nell'ambiente che c' ci sei
e bruci ogni gioia
ma tutto ok
vera
la fretta in te
solo che ti rivorrei.
song performed by by Verdena
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What A Crazy World
What a crazy world we live in,
and you can say that again.
For when we open up, ours mouths
sometimes the words we say,
just come out all wrong.
A Scottish friend of my wife
went to see the Doctor
as her pregnancy was over due.
The Doctor told her
he would give it another week
and then he would have to induce her.
When she went, home
and her husband asked how it went.
What she said next must
have come as a big surprise.
The Doctor said if I haven’t had it
in another week,
he was going to seduce me.
Another friend of Vera’s
went to the Doctor one day.
He asked, have you come on your cycle?
She quickly replied,
no my husband brought me in his car.
Vera must be learning from them.
When we were engaged,
my mother gave her
a large bunch of peonies.
She went to work the next day
and told all her friends about the flowers.
She then wondered why
they were curled up with laughter.
She told them about the flowers OK,
but her tongue couldn’t get a grip on peonies
and something else came out instead.
What a crazy world we live in
and I wouldn’t change it in anyway.
21 February 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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(Dodgy Dave Tale) Plastic Flowers
(Dodgy Dave Tale) Plastic Flowers
This is another Dodgy Dave Tale that goes out
To all the romantics that have their doubts
See Dodgy states he is unromantically inclined
That could leave poor Vera maligned
(Vera his wife that this story is behind)
You see when your in love with a man
Women expect romantic gifts not just a hand
And Vera felt a little slighted here
Because it was flowers she lacked from her dear
So one day his wife and Dodgy Dave
Went out on the town not to misbehave
They decided to go to a Car Boot Sale
(Don't ask me what that is Dave knows that tale)
As they were walking along that day
Dodgy Dave came upon a plastic flower bouquet
Well he picked the thing up
And thought to himself...what luck
Now I have flowers to give to my gal
And she will think of me as her romantic pal
The moral of this silly story here
Is if you want to be unromantically clear
Give your loved one plastic flowers instead
And in return for your supper expect water and brown bread
28 Jan 2008
The Ouija Board
In Holmewood a quiet mining village in North Derbyshire
where the terraced houses were still owned by the mine.
There lived a young ex-miner with his wife and children,
and Dennis the father hadn’t worked for sometime.
Concrete floors were laid downstairs because of subsidence,
they had no curtains, carpets, television, or hi-fi.
All their money went on rent, food, and paying bills,
Vera was unhappy, but Dennis couldn’t understand why.
She wanted to move away from the village to Derby,
where opportunities knocked on every ones door.
But Dennis was accustomed to the hardships of mining
and moving away didn’t have the same draw.
He always persuaded Vera that things would get better
and a kiss and cuddle covered his incompetence.
All his ex-miner cronies were in the same boat,
and working for a living to him made no sense.
He’d become lazy and didn’t want the hassle of a new life
unlike many ex-miners who had moved to pastures new.
Many of the young families who rented their houses
were tied to the mine and didn’t know what else to do.
At the end of the main street was the village’s nearest pit,
and on any shift any miner could die.
Throughout the years many men had lost their lives,
and their bodies in the cemetery lie.
The miners’ widows very often came to see Vera
to ask if she would make contact with their dead.
She felt for the community and turned no one away,
and their gratitude helped to pay for the bread.
One night she would organise six people to be together,
in the unlit empty room at the top of the stairs.
Carrying a lit candle, an empty glass and Ouija board,
she would arrange the table and six fold down chairs.
The home made Ouija board lay flat on the table
and in the middle was the upturned glass.
As everyone placed their index finger on the top of it,
Vera whispered for silence for what was about to pass.
They waited whist the candle flame danced and flickered,
again she whispered, “Is anyone there? ”
As the glass moved to letters on the board’s pencilled alphabet,
a confirmation brought a chill to the air.
Vera never once failed to make spiritual contacts,
but always stopped when the ‘evil’ came through.
Whenever the spiritual highway became opened
the same forceful ‘evil’ presence became renewed.
It was obvious they didn’t return and close the highway,
they stayed in the room that was turning black.
Dennis admitted they should move away from the ‘evil’,
because Vera could not to send them back.
The ‘evil ones’ became restless and moved furnishings,
it was frightening and getting worse each night.
Then for no apparent reason the ‘evil’ ones went quiet,
for over six weeks the peace was pure delight.
They hoped their haunting was over and they had gone for good.
Weeks later Vera had a visit from her cousin who was blind.
She hadn’t seen her, or her guide-dog ‘Eyes’ for over a year.
Whilst talking, ‘Eyes’ went upstairs and they paid it no mind.
An open door slammed behind the dog which shook the house,
and filled Dennis with panic, as Vera dashed upstairs.
She tried to enter the bedroom, but the door wouldn’t budge,
Vera shouted, but Dennis was outside, glad to be out of there.
‘Eyes’ was howling and scratching the floor trying to get out,
a split second later Vera heard the sound of breaking glass.
She raced down stairs into the street below the bedroom window;
‘Eyes’ lay still and bleeding amongst the glass he smashed.
‘Eyes’ began to whimper as its wounds seeped with blood,
Vera could hardly speak, as her cousin asked about ‘Eyes’.
‘Eyes’ thankfully recovered, and the family moved to Derby.
The new life was fine until the Ouija was again given a try.
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Another Lot Of Things You Shouldn’t Do
Never date Wonder Woman
you will never know what she might do.
She could toss her golden lariat
and choke the truth out of you.
Never date Superman
when he asks you to take a flight with him.
He might dropp you
as he waves to the crowd below.
Never date Spiderman
on any given day.
He might leave dangling in his web
while he is called away.
Never date Batman
because you will never be alone.
He has always got a Robin
bobbing along behind.
Never ever date Dodgy Dave The Vicar
because he’ll preach all night to you
and just to top that
you’ll be chased by Vera with a rolling pin in hand.
22 November 2007
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I couldn't kill a fly.
quote by Vera Miles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fashion offers no greater challenge than finding what works for night without looking like you are wearing a costume.
A woman is never sexier than when she is comfortable in her clothes.
There are some times when I think acting can be a noble profession.
quote by Vera Farmiga
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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No observational problem will not be solved by more data.
quote by Vera Rubin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's a remarkable exercise to sit and look at your own work over the years.
Family at VMUF
You have a mother and a father here, sisters and brothers, too.
It's a family circle where connection never ends. And even if at times it breaks, surely in time it will mend.
This might not be the family you're dreaming of, but in reality this is the family your heart beats for.
This is your family who understands and will give you up in time you notify your final decision for better tomorrow.
poem by Estela De Vera
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Don’t Leave Your Teeth on a Tray or the Cat Will Play with Them (Fun Poem 44)
This is a cautionary tale,
but I must add that it is true.
Last week my wife after eating an evening meal
decided to remove her bottom plate and put on a tray.
It seemed that it was rubbing against her gums.
Our next-door neighbour came in
and she and Vera retired to the kitchen
to play a game of cards.
After a couple of hands they heard
our youngest cat Charlie playing with something,
they thought it was just one of her toys.
It wasn’t until the next morning
when she went to put her teeth in
that she realised that the toy
Charlie was playing with
were actually her bottom teeth.
The moral of this story
is if you have false teeth,
always put them away
or some passing cat might think
they are a new toy
to have a game with and play.
(12 November 2007)
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Source Code [Downtown Chicago Is the Next Target]
Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga
by Ben Ripley from Source Code (2011)
Submitted by Film Fan
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Source Code [This Makes No Sense]
Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga
by Ben Ripley from Source Code (2011)
Submitted by Film Fan
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Politics are usually the executive expression of human immaturity.
quote by Vera Brittain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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