Kooks, Cranks And Wallygrasses
We live in a strange old world
filled with kooks, cranks and wallygrasses.
You find them everywhere you go.
They try to embarrass, harass
and even put you down.
They think they are a noble species
better than everyone around.
They are the top of the banana tree
with all the other monkeys swinging around
these kooks, cranks and wallygrasses.
If you don't believe me,
just cast your eyes around and see what I see.
Kooks, cranks and wallygrasses
here, there and everywhere.
24 April 2012
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Kooks
Will you stay in our lovers story
If you stay you wont be sorry
cause we believe in you
Soon youll grow so take a chance
With a couple of kooks
Hung up on romancing
Will you stay in our lovers story
If you stay you wont be sorry
cause we believe in you
Soon youll grow so take a chance
With a couple of kooks
Hung up on romancing
We bought a lot of things to keep you warm and dry
And a funny old crib on which the paint wont dry
I bought you a pair of shoes
A trumpet you can blow
And a book of rules
On what to say to people when they pick on you
cause if you stay with us youre gonna be pretty kookie too
Will you stay in my lovers story
If you stay you wont be sorry
cause we believe in you
Soon youll grow so take a chance
With a couple of kooks
Hung up on romancing
And if you ever have to go to school
Remember how they messed up this old fool
Dont pick fights with the bullies or the cads
cause Im not much cop at punching
Other peoples dads
And if the homework brings you down
Then well throw it on the fire
And take the car downtown
Will you stay in our lovers story
If you stay you wont be sorry
cause we believe in you
Soon youll grow so take a chance
With a couple of kooks
Hung up on romancing
Will you stay in our lovers story
If you stay you wont be sorry
cause we believe in you
Soon youll grow so take a chance
With a couple of kooks
Hung up on romancing
Will you stay
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Aesthetes
The lily cranks, the lily cranks,
The loppy, loony lasses!
They multiply in rising ranks
To execute their solemn pranks,
They moon along in masses.
Blow, sweet lily, in the shade! O,
Sunflower decorate the dado!
The maiden ass, the maiden ass,
The tall and tailless jenny!
In limp attire as green as grass,
She stands, a monumental brass,
The one of one too many.
Blow, sweet lily, in the shade! O,
Sunflower decorate the dado!
poem by Ambrose Bierce
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It Doesnt Get Any Countrier Than This
(jerry vandiver/randy archer)
(track 1 - time 2:31)
Now mama I know youve always wished me the best
And I found somebody and I think shes gonna pass the test
Shes a country girl as far as I can see
Mama I hope shes what you had in mind for me
She likes to go skinny dippin in the heat of the day
And late at night she wants to roll in the hay
She cranks my tractor with just one kiss
Mama it doesnt get any countrier than this
Now mama I know she didnt grow up on a farm
But she sure knows her way around out behind the barn
And it aint exactly chores she does at dawn
But she says shes gonna love me til the cows come home
She likes to go skinny dippin in the heat of the day
And late at night she wants to roll in the hay
She cranks my tractor with just one kiss
Mama it doesnt get any countrier than this
She likes to go skinny dippin in the heat of the day
And late at night she wants to roll in the hay
She cranks my tractor with just one kiss
Mama it doesnt get any countrier than this
Yeah mama it doesnt get...any countrier than this
song performed by by Tim McGraw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lock the Door
Lock the door; the day's arrived-
What demons lurk here, just outside,
And little pumpkins, with their sacks;
You never know what might attack.
There's a ghost and witch; they're friends,
Here come some pea pods, full of grins,
And there's scarecrow, and mummy too-
Someone's bound, to yell out 'boo'.
I hope I don't see any kooks;
It's bad enough, just finding spooks.
A bowl of candy's by the door;
My witch hat there, upon the floor.
Must be ready, when it rings;
When they make my doorbell sing,
And give them candy, instead of sticks-
So they won't do any tricks.
poem by Patti Masterman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Foundations Of The State
Observe, dear Lord, what lively pranks
Are played by sentimental cranks!
First this one mounts his hinder hoofs
And brays the chimneys off the roofs;
Then that one, with exalted voice,
Expounds the thesis of his choice,
Our understandings to bombard,
Till all the window panes are starred!
A third augments the vocal shock
Till steeples to their bases rock,
Confessing, as they humbly nod,
They hear and mark the will of God.
A fourth in oral thunder vents
His awful penury of sense
Till dogs with sympathetic howls,
And lowing cows, and cackling fowls,
Hens, geese, and all domestic birds,
Attest the wisdom of his words.
Cranks thus their intellects deflate
Of theories about the State.
This one avers 'tis built on Truth,
And that on Temperance. This youth
Declares that Science bears the pile;
That graybeard, with a holy smile,
Says Faith is the supporting stone;
While women swear that Love alone
Could so unflinchingly endure
The heavy load. And some are sure
The solemn vow of Christian Wedlock
Is the indubitable bedrock.
Physicians once about the bed
Of one whose life was nearly sped
Blew up a disputatious breeze
About the cause of his disease:
This, that and t' other thing they blamed.
'Tut, tut!' the dying man exclaimed,
'What made me ill I do not care;
You've not an ounce of it, I'll swear.
And if you had the skill to make it
I'd see you hanged before I'd take it!'
poem by Ambrose Bierce
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Tra La La Song
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
One banana, two banana
Three banana, four
Four bananas make a bunch
And so do many more
Over hill and highway
The banana buggies go
Comin' on to bring you
The Banana Splits Show
Makin' up a mess of fun
Makin' up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Four banana, three banana
Two banana, one
All bananas playing in the bright warm sun
Flippin' like a pancake, poppin' like a cork
Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper an' Snork
Makin' up a mess of fun
Makin' up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Two banana, four banana
One banana, three
Swingin' like a bunch of monkeys
Hangin' from a tree
Hey there everybody
Won't you come along and see
How much like banana splits
Everyone can be
Makin' up a mess of fun
Makin' up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Evel Knievel' s Last Ride
Not since P.T. Barnum
Was someone able to
Capture our attention
Get us excited about the egress
Now he emerges
Like a heavenly body
From a distant staring point
Listen to the roar of his bike
As he cranks the handle
One last time
I can see him coming
To reach critical speed
In mid-air - - then clearing the last object
I can't see his landing
He shoots in semi-control
Towards the egress
Whatever he had
We all could use a little in our lives
I hope he left some for us
In the sparks of his trail
poem by Tom J. Mariani
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Smartest Monkeys
Well man created the cardboard box to sleep in it
And man converted the newspaper to a blanket
Well you have to admit that hes come a long way
Since swinging about in the trees
Were the smartest monkeys
The smartest monkeys
The evidence is all around
Our brains are bigger
This weve found
The smartest monkeys
Well man discovered the park bench can make a transition
And the rubbish tip makes a valid form of nutrition
With discoveries like these
Civilisation agrees
To give itself a pat on the back
Were the smartest monkeys
The evolutions plain to see
Were the dominant of the species
The smartest monkeys
We brought the caveman from the stoneage
To the subways of the modern world
How they pack so many in
Quick call the guinness book of records
Well you have to admit...
Were the smartest monkeys...
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Bad Break
The preacher quoted, and the cranks
Among his congregation smiled,
"How sharper than a serpent's thanks
It is to have a toothless child."
He saw he erred, his eye grew wild,
He frowned upon the mirthful ranks:
"How toothless than a serpent's child
It is to have a sharper's thanks!"
poem by William Thomas Goodge
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Let Us Give Thanks
If we have lived another year
And, counting friends by regiments
Who share our love and confidence,
Find no more broken ranks,
For this let us give thanks.
If, since the last Thanksgiving-time,
Have we been blessed with strength and health,
And added to our honest wealth,
Nor lost by broken banks,
For this would we give thanks.
If through adversity we trod,
Yet with serene and smiling face,
And trusted more to saving grace
Than charlatans and cranks,
For this let us give thanks.
If we have somehow worried through
The ups and downs along life's track,
And still undaunted can look back
And smile at Fortune's pranks,
For this would we give thanks.
If every page in our account
With God and man is fairly writ,
We care not who examines it,
With no suspicious blanks,
For this let us give thanks.
poem by Hattie Howard
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Monkeys Must Know What's Good For Them
Monkeys do mind,
How a banana peels.
And how that's done,
To quicken the taste.
Why bananas do appeal,
And not coconuts?
I had not seen this spoken.
Or discussed in a fuss.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
Monkeys do mind,
How a banana peels.
And how that's done,
To quicken the taste.
Why bananas do appeal,
And not coconuts?
I had not seen this spoken.
Or discussed in a fuss.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
Stripping exotic trees,
Of fruit they leave.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we,
Unfortunately...
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And,
We...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we,
Unfortunately...
Are not monkeys.
Monkeys must know what's good for them.
But we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Banana Tree
Banana tree
Banana tree
Banana tree
There is a monkey
Up
There
He is
Eating Banana
Monkey
Monkey
I am hungry
Also
I tell
him
I make
sings
with my
Hands
to tell
him to share
it with me
He covers his
Eyes with his hands
And gigles
So I keep on trying
poem by Aldo Kraas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It's Summer and The People Choose to Feel Loose
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Until the people say they've had quite enough.
Just keep it up and finger poppin'.
Turn the heat up and let them burn the rug.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Don't stop the beat,
When the feet cranks up the fever.
It's Summer and the people choose to feel loose.
With flavor tasted to shake loose a caboose.
And groping sweaty bodies with whomever they choose.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Until the people say they've had quite enough.
Just keep it up and finger poppin'.
It's Summer and the people choose to feel loose.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
With flavor tasted to shake loose a caboose.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Don't stop the beat,
When the feet cranks up the fever.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Do not stop it when it's rockin'.
It's Summer and the people choose to feel loose.
With flavor tasted to shake loose a caboose.
And groping sweaty bodies with whomever they choose.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
It's Summer and the people choose to feel loose.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
It's Summer and the people choose to feel loose.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
It's Summer and the people choose to feel loose.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
It's Summer and the people choose to feel loose.
Keep it up and finger poppin'.
Do not stop it when it's rockin'.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Intolerance
I have no brief for gambling, nay
The notion I express
That money earned 's the only way
To pay for happiness.
With cards and dice I do not hold;
By betting I've been bit:
Conclusion: to get honest gold
You've got to sweat for it.
Though there be evil in strong drink
It's brought me heaps of fun;
And now, with some reserve, I think
My toping days are done.
Though at teetotal cranks I laugh,
Yet being sound and hale,
I find the best of drinks to quaff
Is good old Adam's ale.
I do not like your moralist,
Who with a righteous grin
Informs you o'er a pounding fist:
"Unchastity is sin."
I don't believe it, but I grant,
By every human test,
From parson, pimp and maiden aunt,
Morality is best.
Yet what a bore our lives would be
If we lived as we should;
It's such a blessing to be free,
And not be over-good.
I value virtues great and small,
As I in life advance:
But O the greatest sin of all
I count--INTOLERANCE.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Strange Tree
There’s a strange tree which lives near me,
And this strange tree could not agree,
That if this tree could ever see,
A stranger tree it sure would be.
There’s a strange tree which topples me,
For this strange tree was tall, you see,
And then this tree would use its knee,
To break in three, the clouds who flee.
There’s a strange tree which lives near me,
The northern tree, its branches free,
The southern tree, no limb to see,
For this strange tree, was strange, you see?
There’s a strange tree which I can see,
And this strange tree (against my plea)
Was sent to sea, its roots now free,
And now this tree… A ship is he.
End.
More Fun Than A Barrel Of Monkeys
there are multiple questions pertaining to the concept,
'more fun than a barrel of monkeys.'
how big is the barrel?
how many monkeys are we talking about?
how big are the monkeys? Are we talking spider monkeys, chimps, baboons or what?
Are the monkeys old or young and where's the barrel, inside or outside?
If you leave the monkeys in the barrel, you got a problem:
they'll die in their own excrement,
if you lift the lid and let them out,
they might kill you.
a monkey can rip out your eyes, is that fun?
monkeys, leaping and running around the house, can do a lot of damage, is that fun?
monkeys are dirty, so... what exactly do you consider fun?
what's it going to be like trying to get the monkeys back in the barrel?
would that be fun?
what would the neighbors think of you, if you released the monkeys into their yards?
what happens if the police gets involved?
it could mean everything imaginable is more fun than a barrel of these animals.
maybe even more fun than a barrel of human beings.
poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Strange Fruit
Southern trees bear a strange fruit
Blood on the leaves, blood at the root
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar tree.
Pastoral scene of the gallant South
The bulging eyes, and the twisted mouth
Scent of magnolia, cool and fresh
And the smell of the burning flesh.
Here is the fruit for the crows to pluck
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck
For the sun to rot, for a tree to drop
Here is a strange and bitter crop.
So strange
So strange
song performed by by Sting
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When April Comes!
When April comes with softly shining eyes,
And daffodils bound in her wind-blown hair,
Oh, she will coax all clouds from out the skies,
And every day will bring some sweet surprise,--
The swallows will come swinging through the air
When April comes!
When April comes with tender smile and tear,
Dear dandelions will gild the common ways,
And at the break of morning we will hear
The piping of the robins crystal clear--
While bobolinks will whistle through the days,
When April comes!
When April comes, the world so wise and old,
Will half forget that it is worn and grey;
Winter will seem but as a tale long told--
Its bitter winds with all its frost and cold
Will be the by-gone things of yesterday,
When April comes!
poem by Virna Sheard
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In These Trees Together
They watched me.
I watched them.
They with their tails...
And me swinging on a vine,
From tree to tree wondering
As I look for a place to settle!
'Why aren't the squirrels scratching their butts,
Like the monkeys?
We're all in these trees together!
And I'm doing the best I can to be neighborly! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When You Pick the Ticks Off Monkeys
Your love for monkeys,
Leaves a lump right here...
In my throat!
And I get so emotional,
When you swing from branch to tree branch...
On a vine,
Swinging...
Like one who has swung on a rope!
And when you pick ticks...
From another monkey's fur?
I get teary eyed...
Just watching what occurs!
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.
Your love for monkeys,
Leaves a lump right here...
In my throat!
And I get so emotional,
When you swing from branch to tree branch...
On a vine,
Swinging...
Like one who has swung on a rope!
And when you pick ticks...
From another monkey's fur?
I get teary eyed...
Just watching what occurs!
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove thst itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.
Can you do this even faster?
And remove that itch!
Can you do this even faster?
And remove that itch!
Can you do this even faster?
And remove that itch!
And remove that itch!
And remove that itch,
Every bit!
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You removed the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You removed the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You removed the itch.
You removed the itch.
You removed that itch...
From the tick inflicted monkeys!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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