Have The Crackpots United
Watching the news and I had to shake my head,
a featherbrained crackpot stood there,
they want to a ban a forty odd year old advert
about going to work on an egg,
They stood there saying, “We are not stating
that eggs are bad for you, they are actually quite good.
However you shouldn’t eat eggs every day.”
What a cockeyed statement to make.
They then carry on and say, we should eat other foods.
However, other featherbrains have told us other foods are no good.
Now what do the featherbrained crackpots say about drink?
Coffee and tea does you no good,
soft drinks are too gassy,
a must to say away,
beer and spirits are another no no.
Bottled water that might be Ok,
until someone contaminates
it all of it some day.
Now back to food,
its not only eggs we must not eat.
You name a food from greens to bamboo strands.
According to the crackpots,
they will all send you to the Promised Land.
They tell us it’s all contaminated
with this and that.
They say we should eat less each day.
At the rate they go on,
we will not be eating anything at all,
and the undertakers will be making
the thinnest coffins anyone ever saw.
You can bet your bottom dollar
that all the crackpots eat well.
If you went to their larder,
I would bet you would find
all the foods that they have told us
to leave behind.
Now my advice is to eat what you like,
modestly of course,
and as for drink,
drink what you will.
Now light up a cigarette
and see how many cuckoos come out of the nest.
Some of them say that it gives you this and that,
then another come along say it does not.
Nevertheless, none of them
can answer the question that I purpose.
A few years ago scientists discovered a dinosaur
that had died from cancer would you believe.
My question is did the dinosaur smoke?
Did he have tailor made
or was it a case of rolling your own?
So the next time you see a featherbrained crackpot,
carrying a banner somewhere
saying we must not eat or drink this or that.
Give them the Winston Churchill’s V sign in reverse
and tell them to go elsewhere.
Now message to you is
eat, drink and be merry.
We have here only one time,
so enjoy it while you can.
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
I Accept
I decline, to take your wine
But of your hospitality I will partake
As your gesture is true and very kind
So of your joy, I will not forsake.
I will sit with you, the whole night though
As you drink your glass of wine
I can be the student and you the guru
And from that happiness I will not decline.
As I had spoke, I will not smoke
But of your habit you should enjoy
And those words I will not revoke
Though myself smoking it does annoy.
Smoke your smokes, I hope I don't choke
As you puff on your cigarette or cigar
Enjoy that taste with pleasure's awoke
As for your smoking habit I will never debar.
I refuse to eat, any of your foods or meat
But thank you for asking about my appetite
And with that one question to you, I must conclude
That without eating today, I will not die.
So please enjoy your food, as any man would
We can still chat while you are eating
And when you are finished I hope it's understood
That you and I can then start our preaching.
I do agree, that you and I both are free
As we lived our lives the best we could
But then I think as I drink my coffee
Was there other places that we should of stood.
Let's look through the bible, and see what is vital
For man to live and love on this Earth
But then I understand life is but a vicious cycle
It ends and begins with death and birth.
I now say goodbye, please don't sigh
Hopefully someday soon we will chat again
When the sun is out and blue is the sky
And again you my friend I will commend.
I will knock on your door, as I have done before
As I arrive there hopefully as your guest
Then our memories again we will restore
And I will accept, at your own request.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Have A Drink On Me
Whiskey, gin and brandy
With a glass Im pretty handy
Im trying to walk a straight line
On sour mash and cheap wine
So join me for a drink boys
Were gonna make a big noise
So dont worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the cheque
Well get hell to pay
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
On me
Come on
Dizzy, drunk and fightin
On tequila white lightnin
My glass is getting shorter
On whiskey, ice and water
So come on and have a good time
And get blinded out of your mind
So dont worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the cheque
Well get hell to pay
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
On me
Get stoned
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah
Have a drink on me
Come on
Oooh
Gonna roll around
Gonna hit the ground
Take another swing
Have another drink
Gonna drink it dry
Gonna get me high
Come on all the boys
Make a noise
Chorus
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink oooooooon me
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Picasso's Last Words (Drink To Me)
The Grand Old Painter Died Last Night
His Paintings On The Wall
Before He Went He Bade Us Well
And Said Goodnight To Us All.
Drink To Me, Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
Drink To Me, Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
3 O'clock In The Morning
I'm Getting Ready For Bed
It Came Without A Warning
But I'll Be Waiting For You Baby
I'll Be Waiting For You There
So Drink To Me Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
Drink To Me Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
Jet... Drink To Me
Drink To Me... Ho Hey Ho
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Picassos Last Words
The grand old painter died last night
His paintings on the wall
Before he went he bade us well
And said goodnight to us all.
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
3 oclock in the morning
Im getting ready for bed
It came without a warning
But Ill be waiting for you baby
Ill be waiting for you there
So drink to me drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
Drink to me drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
French interlude
Temp change
Jet... drink to me
Drunken chorus
French (tempo) drink to me... ho hey ho
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Another Good Reason
(harley allen/carson chamberlain)
I woke up the other night
Lying on the floor
Right beside someone
Ive never seen before
She said my names juliet
And romeo you aint
Thats another good reason not to drink
Thats another good reason not to drink
When Im sober Im almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
Ill end up like ole hank
Thats another good reason not to drink
I cant go see my best friend
He said stay away
Just because of what I said
On his wedding day
He oughta call a sherman
Cause she looks just like a tank
Thats another good reason not to drink
Thats another good reason not to drink
When Im sober Im almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
Ill end up like ole hank
Thats another good reason not to drink
Im gonna sue to city
About that policeman
Last night as I left the bar
He stepped right on my hand
He said are you drunk or blind?
I said let me think.
Thats another good reason not to drink
Thats another good reason not to drink
When Im sober Im almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
Ill end up like ole hank
Thats another good reason not to drink
Thats another good reason not to drink
When Im sober Im almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
Ill end up like ole hank
Thats another good reason
Baby let me in Im freezing
Another good reason not to drink
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Y... Food for the soul
Food for the body
I know of men, who do not have enough,
Lacking food and drink, their life is rough
Day in, day out they struggle for food
There is no time for any other good
Food for the ego
I know of men who have enough food and drink
So they have time for something else to think
Their egos are hungry for money, power and fame
Getting more, being restless, an endless game
Food for the soul
I know of men who are contented with how they live
They focus on soul and never cease to give
To give love and support, perform acts randomly kind
They are the ones who have at any time peace of mind
poem by Aufie Zophy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Every day
Any one
Eated any time
It is not good
For health...!
5 year's to
40 year's
Eat three time's
Better....
Any age avoid
Junk food...!
Eat twoice a day
Best of thing
Above 40 year's...
Become abdomen
Reduse slowely...!
Above 70 year's
Only eat to
Drink juse
And watteri food's
Eating is importent
Of life...
So,
Eat too live is
Not good...!
Live too eat
Better
Good...!
Eat eat good
Food every day...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Avoid hot
Avoid to drink
Hot drinks...
Hot drinks is
Drink take proper food...
Drink to drink...
With hot drinks...
Emty stomach...
Acute gastric
Problem will be come...
So...
Avoid hot drinks for
Your liver and stomach...
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Twilight Alehouse
1971. released as b-side of I know what I like single, 1974.
Is it really true what theyre saying
Are you really sure theres nobody come for me
When Im walking home there is no-one
Once there was a house, full of laughter - so warm
Trying to pretend there is someone
Someone who will care when I need it
I will now receive my comfort, conjured by the magic power of wine
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling good
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling fine
Just a drink to take my sorrow
Just a drink and you can blast tomorrow
Just a drink to make me feel like a man again
Now Im down
When I walk outside, there is nowhere
Children follow me, with their laughter - so cold...
Casting just a glance at the churchyard
Casting just a glance, at my painted female friend.
Now Im on my way, I am falling
Got to find some elp, ooh I will need that now
So I will receive my comfort, conjured by the magic power of wine
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling good
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling fine
Just a drink to take my sorrow
Just a drink and you can blast tomorrow
Just a drink to make me feel like a man again
Now Im down...
I will now receive my comfort, conjured by the magic power of wine
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling good
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling fine
Just a drink to take my sorrow
Just a drink and you can blast tomorrow, now...
song performed by by Genesis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Get Out The Map
Im gonna clear my head
Im gonna drink that sun
The saddest sight my eyes can see
Is that big ball of orange sinking slyly down the trees
Sittin in a broken circle while you rest upon my knee
This perfect moment will soon be leaving me
Suzanne calls from boston the coffees hot the corn is high
And that same sun that warms your heart will suck the good earth dry
With everything its opposite enough to keep you crying
Or keep this old world spinning with a twinkle in its eye
Get out the map
Get out the map and lay your finger anywhere down
Well leave the figuring to those we pass on our way out of town
Dont drink the water there seems to be something ailing everyone
Im gonna clear my head
Im gonna drink that sun
Im gonna love you good and strong while our love is good and young
Joni left for south africa a few years ago
And then beth took a job all the way over on the west coast
And me Im still trying to live half a life on the road
Seems Im heavier by the year
(heavier by the year)
And heavier by the load
(heavier by the load)
Why do we hurtle ourselves through every inch of time and space
I must say around some corner I can sense a resting place
With every lesson learned a line upon your beautiful face
Well amuse ourselves one day with these memories well trace
Get out the map
Get out the map and lay your finger anywhere down
Well leave the figuring to those we pass on our way out of town
Dont drink the water there seems to be something ailing everyone
Im gonna clear my head
(Im gonna clear my head)
Im gonna drink that sun
(Im gonna drink that sun)
Im gonna love you good and strong while our love is good and young
Im gonna clear my head
Im gonna drink that sun
Im gonna love you good and strong while our love is good and young
song performed by by Indigo Girls
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My MOM
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load...
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
'The other guy is drunk, ' Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine..
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink..
It was the others, Mom..
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put 'GOOD BOY ' on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive..
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive..
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
poem by Ashish Gutgutia
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Don't mix drinking and driving.
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
'The other guy is drunk, ' Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put 'GOOD BOY ' on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
poem by Rakesh Rampariya
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Well Water
How can one have words…
Over that which does not…
Belong to them…
A boy friend or boo…
Is just that…
A free emotion running wild…
Who stops at a well to drink…
A well which is used by some…
If not many…
As the water is given to drink…
He is free to drink it…
Which does not mean…
It is your well he shall always drink…
For any well which offers water…
He will drink…
So how can you tell him…
The well he should drink from…
Water is water when you hunger…
For thrust…
Remember water is free…
And so are the wells…
Now what can you do …
To change that…
Make sure only certain…
Drinkers, drink from your well…
And you still cannot tell…
Whisperkwane
[email protected]
poem by whisperkwane Lamb
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drink!
Ill take back my pinata its wasted on you
Just spinning that pool cue all over the room
And give back the blindfold thats under your shoe
Lets drink, drink this town is so great
Drink, drink cuz its never too late
To drink, drink to no big surprise
But what words rhyme with buried alive
What words rhyme with buried alive
You could be a float for the 4th of july
Based on your theme of wallflowers grown wild
Look thru your peephole, youve won every prize
Lets drink, drink this town is so great
Drink, drink cuz its never too late
To drink, drink to no big surprise
But what words rhyme with buried alive
What words rhyme with buried alive
In your monkey suit on a cigarette break
The lunchtime crowd, they wont even blink
But youd be sad if they did
But youll be sad...
Lets drink, drink this town is so great
Drink, drink cuz its never too late
To drink, drink to no big surprise
But what words rhyme with buried alive
What words rhyme with buried alive
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Food for Everyone
Sellers of food have a huge price,
And they eat from them from advice.
The restaurant is a race for the food,
A beautiful place for the meat barbecued.
I like the eating to be done in a fantastic place,
Where I love the taste in my head, no disgrace.
Love anything but do not eat the forbidden fruit,
So horrid it is of the devil to say, but we must be astute.
It is poverty that hides the food from poor people,
It is not the poor people who taste a life admirable.
Sellers of food must be paid, and poor is the person
Who can not afford, so he can not eat, unless he is in heaven.
Heaven is a place for food and drink,
Drink I take and health I doublethink.
Heaven has a drink for me.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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From Mother To Daughter From Mother To Daughter.
Drink in some,
ice cold water little girl,
drink in some ice cold water,
some day you'll be big and strong,
but water will carry you all along.
Drink in some ice cold water little girl,
the day has been harsh to you,
the times are tough,
and getting rough,
but water will carry you though.
Drink in some ice cold water little girl,
although it's not getting easier,
refresh yourself,
from a nearby creek,
and maybe you'll see just what you need,
maybe water will show it to you.
Drink in some ice cold water little girl,
although you have grown much bigger,
you maybe be growing up strong and tall,
but water has carried you through.
Drink in some,
ice cold water little girl,
drink in some ice cold water,
some day you'll be big and strong,
but water will carry you all along.
poem by Sandra jacks
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Alcoholic Albatross
Brothers, what are we to think
When we muse upon strong drink?
Is it bad or is it good?
Is it poison or is it food?
Albatrosses, so say some,
Find great benefit in rum,
And, in gratitude for nips,
Bring fair winds to troubled ships.
Others say the cocktail shaker
Is a noted trouble maker;
And declare that men stir up
Woe in every claret-cup.
But, so far as I'm concerned,
I may say I've never learned
Whether alcohol, in place,
Benefits the human race.
Take your choice. If you should think
Drink is good, why, have a drink;
But, if you are at a loss,
Give it to some albatross.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tear Drops And Closed Caskets The Good Die Young.
I went to a party, Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink and drive, Mom,
So I drank sprite instead.
I felt really proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you're always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone drives out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece,
Because of the way you raised me, Mom,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled onto the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And it hit me like a load.
As I lie here on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
The other guy is drunk, Mom,
And now I'm the one who'll pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom,
I wish you'd get here soon.
How come this happened to me, Mom?
My life burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
Most of it is mine.
I hear the paramedic say, Mom,
i'll be dead in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom,
The others didn't think.
He didn't know where he was going, Mom,
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, Mom,
He drank, and I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now, Mom,
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying, Mom,
While all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom,
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I get to heaven, Mom,
Write 'Daddy's Girl' on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they'd have take the time, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom,
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom,
Because when I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom,
Before I say good-bye.
I didn't ever drink, Mom,
So why am I to die?
This is the end, Mom,
I wish I could look you in the eye.
To say these final words, Mom,
I love you, and good-bye
poem by Tamara Moir
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drunk Driving Poem
I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead
I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending
Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,
the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,
the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom.. I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom, I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank and I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying and all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom, put 'moms boy' on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom, before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?
poem by Justin Hickman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drunk Driving
I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead
I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending
Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,
the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,
the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom.. I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom, I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank and I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying and all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom, put 'moms boy' on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom, before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?
poem by Bailey Watkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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