Car Washers (Fun Poem 34)
You pull into a car park
and they spring out of nowhere.
“Do you want your car washed
while you’re doing your shopping?
We do not charge a lot.”
My answer is no.
“Sorry mate but my car is under scientific study.
I am an insect- ornithologist.
I study bird droppings and insect splatters.
I get out every night with my tweezers,
take the remaining bits off,
and put them in a specimen jar.
I am also going in for
the dirtiest car of the year award.
I have won it three times already.
So you see my car does not need a wash thank you.”
They look at me somewhat strangely
before they go on their merry way.
Therefore, the next time you pull into a car park
and someone wants to wash your car.
Just tell them you are an insect-ornithologist
engaged in a scientific study.
They will never understand what you mean.
They might think you are somewhat strange,
but you will save yourself a packet.
Now that ain’t strange, that is wise.
(22 July 2007)
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
If you want to study one of these strange organisms, you had better have a good justification. It's not good to study gene organisation in some obscure insect that no one's ever heard about.
quote by Thomas R. Cech
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
To the intelligent man with an interest in human nature it must often appear strange that so much of the energy of the scientific world has been spent on the study of the body and so little on the study of the mind.
quote by Edward Thorndike
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
There’s a dragon fly
hanging at the mirror image of the window
catching the eye of a shrike
and the bird flashes past with stretched out claws
and for a moment the insect vibrates scared
and are swept away
by the bird that later twitters on the barbed wire
where it pierces the insect with a nail
and I am caught in the scene
and see the spreading its black wings
preparing for the next victim
and every insect that it spots
it catches.
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Semantics, or the study of meaning, remained undeveloped, while phonetics made rapid progress and even came to occupy the central place in the scientific study of language.
quote by Roman Jakobson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A Dragon Fly
that lingers at the mirror image of the window
is swept away
when every insect catches the eye of a butcher bird
and I am caught in the scene
where it pierces the insect on the barbed wire,
is swept away
where the insect looses its life
and the bird is preparing for its next victim
where it pierces the insect on the barbed wire
and I see the bird spreading its black wing
as it twitters on the barbed wire and slaps its wings
and the bird is preparing for its next victim
while each insect it catches so smartly
where it is set on each movement,
as it twitters on the barbed wire and slaps its wings
and the bird becomes a deadly thing
that lingers at the mirror image of the window
where it is set on each movement,
when every insect catches the eye of a butcher bird.
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Academic sociologists have been trained to conceive of their discipline - sociology - as the scientific study of society, and to remit to the sister discipline of psychology the study of individuals.
quote by Richard Wall
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Schooling Relationship
you are the subject which i study
understanding and getting to know you psychologically
learning new ways to do right
ways to out do the wrong
you are the subject which i study
practicing and testing the goods and bads
you are the subject which i study
the time has come graduation is here
learn the subject by studing its psychology
understanding is the only way for success
now we move on to the next step
you are the subject which i study to major
as i take hold of your hand
guide you through rough times throughout this life
you are the subject which i study to major
as time goes by ticking away
i studied you all those days
i understand your past history life
your psychology means alot to me
mentally physically emotionally speaking
you are the subject which i study to major...
poem by Diara Armstead
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I Washed My Face In The Morning Dew
The first strange town I was ever in the county was hangin' a man
And nobody cared if he lived or he died and I just didn't understand
So I washed my face in the morning dew bathed my soul in the sun
Washed my face in the morning dew and kept on moving along
The second strange town I was in they were laughing at a poor crippled man
Begging for nickels and dimes on the street and I just didn't understand
So I washed my face...
The third strange town that I was in was settled peaceful and nice
The rich got richer and the poor got poorer and to me it didn't seem right
So I washed my face...
Now someday times are bound to change it can't be very far
And each injustice that I have seen will come before the bar
Then I'll wash my face in the morning dew bathe my soul in the sun
Wash my face in the morning dew and my journey will be done
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Six legs... but who can see them? .....[SHORT; Nature observations; Humor]or]bservation; Humor]
As I read an article about how we humans age,
I suddenly spied a comma crawling slowly ‘cross the page.
I knew it couldn't be a comma, but it WAS so small
that if it were much smaller, I'd NOT see it at all.
I'm sure it was an insect or some related critter.
I wonder if, on that page, it did leave some insect litter.
I tried to pick out the legs it'd have if an insect it truly were,
but my eyes, not being microscopes, could only see a moving blur.
poem by Bri Edwards
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Only myself in a crowded street
Only myself walking down the crowded street,
Everyone around me like statues in a park.
Here’s a car waiting to turn,
There’s an old man feeding the birds.
I can picture what there doing,
But their only paused.
As though the video is stopped,
They just stand there waiting for it to play.
This strange new world where all time has stopped,
Why have I been brought to this odd dimension?
Only I can move back and forth,
Only I can reach out and feel their stone cold hands.
Many questions left unanswered,
And no one there to ask.
Desperately I search,
For any sign of life.
Then strangely I see,
A little insect fly.
As though in this despair,
There is something there besides myself.
I follow the butterfly,
As though it is my one last hope.
It lands on a head,
Of one of these statue-like beings.
And suddenly they start moving,
As though given life.
The little flying insect,
Skips from one to another.
Each and every one that the butterfly touches,
Starts moving in their step.
Each action that I pictured,
Becomes real before my eyes.
Then the little butterfly flies,
Back into the sky.
Never to be seen again,
Or so I thought that day.
Then after years gone by,
And I turned old and fragile.
Laying in my bed,
Looking up into the sky.
I saw the little butterfly,
Fly down to where I lay.
Landed by my ear,
And softly spoke to me.
“It is time for you to leave, ”
Said the little butterfly.
“I’ll bring you to a place,
That will give you life once more.”
Then the little butterfly,
Flew onto my forehead.
And flew off to another stone planet,
Leaving my body statue-like.
poem by Jessica Kissner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
We study the injustices of history for the same reason that we study genocide, and for the same reason that psychologists study the minds of murderers and rapists... to understand how those evil things came about.
quote by Jared Diamond
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The transformation scene, where man is becoming insect and insect has become at least man and beyond that - a flying, godlike, shimmering, diaphanous, beautiful creature.
quote by Michael O'Donoghue
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Strange Bird
Strange bird
By: jimmy buffett, jay oliver
1989
Half fast and seldom seen
He dont blip the radar screen
On the deck below the dune
Under the commanders moon
Strange bird from a different nest
Flying low not like all of the rest
God only knows where the strange bird goes when hes flying
Everybodys trying to find him
But they dont know where to start
The ornithologist lady says that he has wings on his heart
Chorus:
Strange bird from a different nest
Flying low not like all of the rest
If you cant catch him you cant name him
If you cant see him you cant claim him
Stay on the ground or he will shoot you down
Wings on his heart, hes a strange bird
Frequent flyer, seldom seen
High above the caribbean
In my day Ive met a few but hes the strangest bird thats true
Chorus:
Strange bird from a different nest
Flying low not like all of the rest
If you cant catch him you cant name him
If you cant see him you cant claim him
Stay on the ground or he will shoot you down
Wings on his heart, hes a strange bird
But hes in love with the lady of the waters
And she lives somewhere up around cheauxvan
Hes gonna circle high above her runway of love
Until she gives him her permission to land
Chorus:
Strange bird from a different nest
Flying low not like all of the rest
If you cant catch him you cant name him
If you cant see him you cant claim him
Stay on the ground or he will shoot you down
Wings on his heart, hes a strange bird
Watch out girl, hes a strange bird
Strange bird flying low
cross the gulf of mexico
Strange bird not like all the rest
Watch out girl hes a strange bird
Shoot you down, hes a strange bird
Its a bird, its a plane, its a strange bird
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Lion and the Insect
The Lion lazily lies on the grass,
Purveying his kingdom of gold flowers
As they sway in the wind, but kingdoms pass
And so too does sunlight with the hours.
The Lion grips the land with a well-placed paw.
The Earth trembles slightly beneath his claws.
The Insect unfolds its transparent wings
To swim through thick, sweaty savannah air.
It floats in the soupy mirage heat brings,
Transfixed on flying from the lambent glare
Of the open sky's harsh, cloudless splendor.
The hungry Insect mustn't surrender.
The Lion fears the Insect and hides among
The gold flowers. He's unafraid to rest.
While he worries that, if his paw were stung,
He could lose control of his clenched int'rests,
Like a coward, the Lion waits all night
Until the Insect dies a parasite.
poem by Tim Stensloff
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
There are two methods for the literary study of any book - the first being the study of its thought and emotion; the second only that of its workmanship. A student of literature should study some of the Bible from both points of view.
quote by Lafcadio Hearn
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A good novel is worth more then the best scientific study.
quote by Saul Bellow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A Woman With Double Loss
During menstruation period
due to hormonal influence,
some women become depressed and different.
Usually she is stingy and thrifty.
She would buy useless things with big money.
It is discovered in a scientific study.
From uterus, she loses blood.
From her purse, she loses buck.
During menstruation, she becomes a crazy shopping nut.
To hate is to study, to study is to understand, to understand is to appreciate, to appreciate is to love. So maybe I'll end up loving your theory.
quote by John Archibald Wheeler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Tea Leaf Prophecy
Words by joni mitchell
Music by larry klein and joni mitchell
Study war no more
Lay down your arms
Study war no more
Lay 'em down, lay 'em down now
Study war no more
Lay down your arms
Study war no more
Newsreels rattle the nazi dread--
The able-bodied have shipped away--
Molly mcgee gets her tea-leaves read--
You'll be married in a month they say
"these leaves are crazy!
Look at this town--there's no men left!
Just frail old boys and babies
Talking to teacher in the treble clef."
She plants her garden in the spring
She does the winter shovelling
Tokyo rose on the radio
She says she's leavin' but she don't go
Out of the blue--just passin' thru
A young flight sergeant
On two weeks leave--
Says "molly mcgee--no one else will do!"
And seals the tea-leaf prophecy.
Oh these nights are strong and soft--
Private passions and secret storms
Nothin' about him ticks her off
And he looks so cute in his uniform
She plants her garden in the spring
He does the winter shovelling
But summer's just a sneeze
In a long-long-bad-winter cold
She says, "i'm leavin' here" but she don't go
"sleep little darlin'!
This is your happy home
Hiroshima cannot be pardoned!
Don't have kids when you get grown.
Because, this world is shattered
The wise are mourning--
The fools are joking
Oh--what does it matter?
The wash needs ironing
And the fire needs stoking."
She plants her garden in the spring
He does the winter shovelling
The three of 'em laughing 'round the radio
She says "i'm leavin' here" but she don't go
She plants her garden in the spring
They do the winter shovelling
They sit up late and watch the
Johnny carson show
She says "i'm leavin' here but she don't go
song performed by by Joni Mitchell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.
quote by John Adams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!