They Live Here
There have often been times when I have shut the world out-
But never fear, for I carry a key on a string inside of my mind-
A key that unlocks that door to madness, as
Threatening people have often wondered
What goes on inside that chamber of lunacy?
What is happening inside of the mind of
This person we cannot reach?
This miraculous key I shall never lose,
For when I unlock this door I enter
This world of my spectacular fantasies or often called by others, delusions-
I have heard the voices of angels and
Voices of sorcerers' nightmares-
But also, the words of my favorite songs and
I have reached that palace in the sky where
I can converse with the people who live
Inside the fortress of my mind-
Surrounded by a world of people I do not trust,
I often shut that world out and as I take that key
That hangs off of the string of my imagination
And I unlock that magical door that leads to
The community of friends who dwell inside of my mind-
That supernatural land that belongs to me alone-
And I am never alone because I carry my dream world with me
Every place that I travel, whether I travel near or far away,
I can always converse with these people who listen to me
And respond to their intimate conversation-
Softly intriguing and sometimes heart rendering -
I am the queen of this place I have created for myself,
Canonized a saint of my own salvation-
Other people in the surrounding outside world
May laugh, ridicule or simply not understand
Why I have escaped reality- and why I do not weep
Or do not seem destitute in my solitude- they do not own that extraordinary key
That unlocks the gate that leads to the land of my dreams-
And all that they can hear are cars dashing down the boulevard day and night,
And other everyday sounds on a typical day in their world of veracity-
Their tears may fall with the rain that never falls upon my world, and
In spite of what they believe-the meaning of the voices inside my mind,
They shall never know…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Self Portrait
I can see this world in a different way- from this world I hid for many years.
Riding a ship towards some other galaxy,
Though only inside of my mind-
The rain would pour down upon the real world, and
In the mid winter the snow would fall, but
Lost in some other place in time, I only saw the sun.
I was a rare bird whose wings would carry me
High above the treetops, the mountains and
Even above the highest clouds,
Traveling far away from everybody and everything that was real.
Rain, sleet and hail would fall, though all I could see was a rainbow,
Glistening within the sky, high above the mountains-
I placed no trust in the people who walked upon the ground below,
Although it hardly mattered- I could always converse with those people
Who lived within the kingdom inside of my mind.
I would board a ship, its full sails to the wind,
Carrying me towards the world of my dreams-
Today I see the world in a different way-Now I see reality,
I see reality- hunger, war and people who threaten, and
All I can do is place my hands over my eyes, hoping to shut this cruel world out.
The ship I rode to some other place has been lost somewhere in the sky and
A rare bird, whose wings are now broken, I now see the world under a different light.
Somebody took me and locked me away last night and I have become
A prisoner inside of my own mind-upon that ship with fallen sails
I feel as if I am on a pathway headed towards nowhere-
I place my hands over my eyes. Attempting to hide from all that is real,
Unable to find peace of mind, unable to find my rainbow.
I find myself alone inside of an empty room, with no windows and a door that is locked-
I converse with the voices that speak to me inside of my mind-as
These, nobody can take them away from me and
They are all that is left of my dreams…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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The Doors Are Locked
From inside of this room
I shall not exit
I have locked the doors
To the world outside.
It does not matter to me what is happening outside, because
Behind these locked doors
Is the world that I live in,
This land of my dreams that
I have fabricated for myself alone.
I recall my father recently reading me a story-
Of a woman who created a world within her dreams-
There she lived and locked herself
Inside of the doors that
Barred her from all that is real.
My father's hope was that
I would find my way out from
This place he called the land of my delusions.
This place which he calls the land of my delusions has become
My only veracity.
From the inside of this room
I shall not exit-it is here I safely converse with
The voices inside of my mind.
The doors to this room are locked, but
I can still hear my mother weeping, and
I hear my mother cry out from the midst of her tears-
What has become of my only child?
Inside of this room, I have constructed a world.
The doors are locked and
I have shut reality out-
The doors to my room are locked and
I have lost the key.
My mother is still weeping as her one and only
Has lost the key that would open the doors
To the world outside-
My mother is sobbing; the key is lost and alas-
Her only child's sanity has also been lost.
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Two Worlds
Today is overcast- they say it will rain,
They said it would rain last night-
I was lost in thought when the thunder clapped-
Lightening brightened up the sky, though only for a moment-
Then darkness overtook the entire universe-
I am alone in my own world- that is my choice-
I see people everyday- outside of the world I was born in.
These people are strangers speaking a language I understand although
When words are put together in sentences- I cannot relate.
I am speaking of two worlds- one where millions live,
That unsafe, threatening place- and the world of my thoughts that I live in
Nearly all of the time- the one into which I surely believe
Is the one into which I was born, at the time, safe and sound.
Today is overcast- they say it shall rain-
They said it would rain last night, but when the raindrops
Splashed upon the edge of time, I was lost inside of that world of my own.
In that world of my own, where rain never falls,
In that world of my own, children are never born into.
Somebody stole me and brought me here- into the cruel and threatening place
Where millions of deranged and crazy people live-
Somehow, inside that world, I never fit in and
I feel I never belonged.
I would dance in the rain - the rain that they predicted-
I would dance and sing in this cruel world trying to cope until the sky would fall and
I would find myself in that sky, searching for the world into which I was born?
I am searching for always for that magical place that
Presently only exists inside the world of my thoughts.
Some years ago they took me and locked me inside a room they called 'Seclusion'-
A room dreaded by many to be locked inside-but I found peace of mind there,
If such a thing exists and in this room I could build my fantasies and dreams-
Until they released me back into that world that had not been kind to me.
Let it rain and let lightening strike-let the rain wash my tears away-
I guess I will keep dancing and singing in the rain until the sky falls or until
They take me away again and lock me in that room once more and there
I can lose myself into the world I created and listen to the rain fall as the sky falls-
While thunder claps- a beautiful sound that drowns out angry voices and
Lightening strikes, brightening a pathway where some day I dream,
I will find peace of mind without ever having to turn back time.
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Outside My Picture Window
It has been said that there is a world outside my picture window and
Beyond the trees I see everyday and the sky, sometimes overcast and
Other days, when the sun rises early- I can see the sky and have often wondered if
There exists another world within our universe- I know that
There exists a world inside of my mind and
My pupils are the windows into which
People would look if I were to venture outward?
Beyond the sky, and beyond the sun-
Beyond that world inside my mind,
I would never know where there exists a place for me-
Last night outside of my window
I could see the stars- stars mean different things to different people as
Does the sun, the trees and this whole world outside-
The world inside my mind revolves about
The sun that shines upon my own horizon and
As for this world outside, all I can do is look- and to
See a tree, perhaps a single cloud and the grass that grows-
I have shut my mind to the people who live beyond
The trees, clouds and the grass that I can see-
That window opens to the world inside of my thoughts-
I have just shut and pulled the curtain to discourage all intruders-
I am lying by my window in total darkness now as I place my hand over my eyes,
Shutting out reality and now I can see mountains, flowering trees and
A creek flowing in which I can see my reflection and
I am running upon the grass that grows beneath my feet-
I believe I heard music playing inside the fortress of my mind-
It has been said there is a world outside and I have pulled the curtain
To the window once opened to veracity-
Darkness has never looked as beautiful as I am safe here in my solitude-
Even when the stars are shining and the sky is such a magnificent sight to see-
No place is as exquisite as the creek that runs through my inner space and
The sun inside the world of my thoughts that shines upon my horizon?
The stars are far away and all that is real, though just outside my picture window
I perceive as too far away for me to reach- I would touch the stars and I could be a dove
That can lift my wings and fly away from all that threatens, but only inside my dreams-
Children sing songs and read fairy tales and they believe and I believe that
The sun shines light upon their worlds and
Someday their dreams shall blossom as has mine and shall become their homes-
Home is the safe place inside a person's mind, not within the madding crowd that
Exists outside my picture window- even if the stars are always there- and
That unique and special sun shall just keep on shining upon the world of my dreams….
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Paradise Found
I am lost inside
A world of my own,
A world that I painted inside of my thoughts
Within a figment of my imagination-
I have taken myself on a journey to a place
I call paradise-
Inside this place I call paradise
I am lost,
Inside this place I call paradise,
I am alone-
Surrounded by trees and mountains,
Violet in hue – wildflowers would grow and
Grass grows high, caressing my ankles
In an almost loving way-
Inside the world of my thoughts
I step inside this paradise I have found and as I
Lose myself within a dream,
In less than a moment’s time,
My imagination has succumbed
To this magical land of my delusions-
Towards this place where I shall forever remain-
I am lost, I am alone but here in this place I call paradise,
Surrounded by trees and mountains,
Violet in hue and where wildflowers grow and
Grass grows high-
In a strange sort of way, I am not really alone-
I have my thoughts, my dreams and my fantasies and
The voices only I can hear are my constant companions-
Birds, trees and forget-me- knots are truly my friends-
In all actuality, I am no longer lost as
I was in that world outside of my dreams
Within that world into which I was born-
In that world where people have always hurt, betrayed and lied to me-
It was inside that world I was truly lost and alone-
I shall never return to that world.
I have lost myself within a dream and in truth,
I have finally found who I truly am and as I listen to the singing
Of the nightingale, the water rushing in the creek below,
A gentle breeze rustling the leaves upon the trees and
As I watch the sun ascend over the mountains,
The deer running freely and
I begin to sing a song of freedom and peace of mind-
Now I know the true meaning of loss and loneliness-
That is being trapped inside a world laden with myriads of people
Who have and shall always hurt and betray one another, as
Every moment in time rapidly advances too fast to control-
As I glance upward towards this sky of azure-blue,
I lock that phantasmal door that separates fantasy from reality-
Delighted to say that this fantasy has become my new reality and
I have found myself within the world of my dreams,
Surrounded by trees and mountains, violet in hue and
Where wildflowers grow plentifully and
When the sun descends behind the mountains and darkness overcomes
Here in my paradise- I can begin to count the stars and
Dance with the moon on the horizon- to the tune of
The singing of the nightingale-alive in my very own heaven and paradise,
Not lost but found and never again alone-
Here inside the world of my fantasies,
Where I have been reborn, within this magical land of my dreams,
Where I shall always sing a song of freedom as I joyfully wish upon a star-
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Escape
As I lose myself inside of a world of my own-
Perhaps a shadow would pass me by,
Or maybe a fawn would wade in the creek
Along side of the path I walk-
I fear other people, this world’s intruders.
I would break away from reality if only
There was a point of no return and escape towards
A place where I can look down
Upon this path I have walked before-
Far away from all of the people who slight, follow and wish me harm-
Evergreens and maple trees-
Wild rabbits, squirrels and wild geese roam about-
These are the ones I call my true friends-
I would dance in the sky if I could-
Lost inside of a world behind the clouds, as
The sun behind me is casting shadows
Upon the path that I am now walking
Shadows that shall transform to dreams-
Dreams of an eternal life inside this world of my own-
Listen- can you hear the calling of the wild?
Listen- can you hear the gentle breeze rustling the leaves within
The litheness of nature surrounding me?
Listen- can you hear the sound of my heart beating amorously as
My own shadow disappears behind myriads of towering oak trees?
Rain could begin to fall and
A storm could approach and now I can say in all honesty it would not matter-
My mind has finally locked the door to reality and I have tossed the key
To the rapids rushing up the creek beside me-I have finally escaped.
If thousands of people were to approach and cross the path upon which I make my way-
I have lost touch with all that is real and in flight of the imagination
There is no turning back- even if it is only with in a dream;
Nobody needs war, cacophony and disaster,
If one can be in union with nature and fantasy that can be found in
One’s own back yard and a gust of wind can carry away that key to the door of
Pain and misfortune. Follow the shadows cast by the sun, and
Never look back, as this world inside of your dreams could last for an eternity…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Bridge
The bridge I walk every morning plays games with my fantasies-
The water that runs beneath could be some magical ocean-
Leading to a place unknown-
When I look upwards towards the sky
My imagination carries me to some distant island in the heavens
Where I can be myself and there is nobody there to
Plan my life or to rule my thoughts-
To live my life as I please has always been my fondest dream-
And if only this bridge I walk every morning
Would take me to that place of my utmost reverie-
Spring shall arrive in less than two days- I can think of tales in books about
The arrival of spring- longer days to come, and
The awakening of the supernatural- although
Sad to say that this bridge I walk everyday
Takes me to the same familiar place-
Though I can find beauty in blossoming crocuses, daffodils and forsythia,
I find myself living in the same world, place and time- though
In my thoughts I live in another realm,
And travel across a different bridge that shall take me to that kingdom in the sky-
There I can live with the saints and angels everybody speaks of, in this place where I
Become my own person and can just be myself-
With no one present to control my destiny-
The bridge I walk every morning takes me to a place I have deemed as
Nowhere land- although I do not intimately know the people there
I see them every day passing by, knowing
That they are none but ordinary beings
With ordinary thoughts and minds-
I have built a bridge inside of the territory of my mind
That leads me towards my own magical “land of oz”-
And that is where I live every time I find myself in solitude-
Inside of a world unreal to all but very real to me- until that time of day when
I must return to civilization and reality- here I tell myself
I shall die one day and cross that bridge of my fantasies and
Become a saint or an angel myself looking down from the heavens
Upon this world where I once lived and can now laugh and sigh happily- because
Nobody shall ever control my thoughts again –
I have won my battle against veracity- good dreams are known to be
The essence of everyone’s bliss and I have left all of my nightmares behind-
Happy to call myself a dreamer as I have crossed that bridge from
Past to present and then journeyed to a future free from fear and apprehension-
And I have become free to know there will never be any turning back…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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The Magical World of My Dreams
A silver key has locked me inside my own world, where I have
Lost myself inside the shadows of my dreams-
As would a thundercloud, my tears are like the rain that falls-
The sky would clear and as the sun would re-emerge,
Perhaps there is some levity inside this place of my reverie-
Having lost my soul and my spirit following close behind as a
Fledgling bird may have flown by within a moments notice,
I hear the ticking of a clock rhythmically keeping time to
The motion of my steps slowly walking away from
The confusion, fear, and destitution of veracity-
I am none but a silhouette slipping through a crack in the door
Leading to this place of my flight of the imagination-
I have lost myself along the way I once believed was paved for me alone,
Though only lead me towards madness
And to a world so vast, frightening and unfamiliar-
Running backward down that very same path until I arrived at
That mystifying door that was open for me alone,
That door only I could enter with that magical silver key,
I could hear the songs of angels singing tunes of love, peace and faith-
Stepping with caution over the threshold of that door,
As I closed it gently but firmly behind me-
Here inside this place where there are no hills and trees grow
With leaves of silver and a creek runs through in all of its crystalline clarity-
The sun here is just bright enough to guide me down a
Path of hope- and the people in this place are not threatening and
Are true to their word, innocuous, caring and promising that
Here tears are golden and only shed for joy-
No room for sadness, disappointment and fear in this miraculous land,
This magnificent place where I have been reborn-
I own a silver key and a special paintbrush with which I have painted
A rainbow across a sky of cerulean blue- along with phantasmal seraphs
With unyielding strength I have pushed all clouds away.
I listen to the joyous tunes of cherubs’ singing- I can see the reflection of
Peace flowers dancing in a cool breeze before the sapphire-hued pond-
My spirit and soul I once believed lost has been found here-
I have locked the door between myself and what so many have deemed as reality
With that phantasmal silver key and thrown it to the wind.
So many have believed that painted rainbows, crystalline creeks and ponds of sapphire-
Songs of angels and trees bearing leaves of silver
Are none but figments of my imagination- I have in a sense lost myself
Inside a world of my delusions but having abandoned fear, sadness and dismay-
This new found peace of mind has become my new reality –as that silver key is
Blowing about in the wind somewhere, some place a long distance upward in the sky-
I know I am safe here inside the shadows of my dreams- knowing that
All clouds have disappeared, my tears
Which have fallen with the rain of past days, are forever gone…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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The Magical Land of My Dreams
A silver key has locked me inside my own world, where I have
Lost myself inside the shadows of my dreams-
As would a thundercloud, my tears are like the rain that falls-
The sky would clear and as the sun would re-emerge,
Perhaps there is some levity inside this place of my reverie-
Having lost my soul and my spirit following close behind as a
Fledgling bird may have flown by within a moments notice,
I hear the ticking of a clock rhythmically keeping time to
The motion of my steps slowly walking away from
The confusion, fear, and destitution of veracity-
I am none but a silhouette slipping through a crack in the door
Leading to this place of my flight of the imagination-
I have lost myself along the way I once believed was paved for me alone,
Though only lead me towards madness
And to a world so vast, frightening and unfamiliar-
Running backward down that very same path until I arrived at
That mystifying door that was open for me alone,
That door only I could enter with that magical silver key,
I could hear the songs of angels singing tunes of love, peace and faith-
Stepping with caution over the threshold of that door,
As I closed it gently but firmly behind me-
Here inside this place where there are no hills and trees grow
With leaves of silver and a creek runs through in all of its crystalline clarity-
The sun here is just bright enough to guide me down a
Path of hope- and the people in this place are not threatening and
Are true to their word, innocuous, caring and promising that
Here tears are golden and only shed for joy-
No room for sadness, disappointment and fear in this miraculous land,
This magnificent place where I have been reborn-
I own a silver key and a special paintbrush with which I have painted
A rainbow across a sky of cerulean blue- along with phantasmal seraphs
With unyielding strength I have pushed all clouds away.
I listen to the joyous tunes of cherubs’ singing- I can see the reflection of
Peace flowers dancing in a cool breeze before the sapphire-hued pond-
My spirit and soul I once believed lost has been found here-
I have locked the door between myself and what so many have deemed as reality
With that phantasmal silver key and thrown it to the wind.
So many have believed that painted rainbows, crystalline creeks and ponds of sapphire-
Songs of angels and trees bearing leaves of silver
Are none but figments of my imagination- I have in a sense lost myself
Inside a world of my delusions but having abandoned fear, sadness and dismay-
This new found peace of mind has become my new reality –as that silver key is
Blowing about in the wind somewhere, some place a long distance upward in the sky-
I know I am safe here inside the shadows of my dreams- knowing that
All clouds have disappeared, my tears
Which have fallen with the rain of past days, are forever gone…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It Isn't About...
During the days when the snow was two feet high outside, and
My mother baked bread every Sunday morning-
I became Pocahontas beneath the living room's card table and
I laughed with my father, as I sat upon his knee-
I hadn't a care in the world although
I played for hours in solitude-
However to me solitude was ecstasy and only I knew that
I wasn't truly alone- as
I was surrounded by all of my friends as we played-
Although these people only I could see and,
Their voices only I could hear-
Lost inside this world of my fantasies-
I couldn't have been more content-
Many people were and shall always be mistaken,
Believing that happiness is being born with many gifts about them-
Having everything to own for themselves- and
Having plenty of money and the means to travel all over the world around them.
I so truly believe that this is not what life is all about-
Being popular and rich, surrounded by luxuries,
Having a lot of money to spend and to live beneath a sky that never rains-
I was still quite young when I knew inside of the depths of my soul that
Life is not about money or material treasures- Life isn't about gold and diamonds-
Rain is what makes trees and flowers grow- and
True bliss and happiness comes from inside.
Nearly half a century has passed since
I was just a child playing with my imaginary circle of friends, though
I still hear the voices unheard by others and
I know that I am loved by many others but not by all-
But I have accepted the person I am inside, and
That has brought peace of mind surging from within.
The days of baking bread and sitting upon my father's knees are over and
I am a different sort of Pocahontas now- still hiding and finding
My own place amidst the loveliness and privacy of nature!
Life is not about superficiality of material wealth-
Life is about love of and being able to accept what is to be and
Ability to accept who we truly are inside and although nature is
Part of the world outside- it stimulates pure and natural splendor from
Inside of our spirits and from our souls-I have learned this lesson
From living my own life for more than half of a century now, from letting
Nature and assurance enter that door to my heart and
To inspire that special confidence and strength arising from within-
poem by Claudia Krizay
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The Place Of My Dreams
Nobody ever walked this path before
-before trees grew here nearly touching the sky,
I am alone safely inside a world of my own-
A world where only deer roam and birds fly about-
Cardinals, robins and sometimes
I believed I saw angels-
Angels singing in harmony with bird songs-
The wind would rustle the leaves upon the trees and
In the early summertime, cicadas would sing incessantly-
Incessantly and melodiously-
Only one day I heard a different sound-
The sounds of footsteps and children screaming,
Following closely behind me-
I would hide behind a tall oak tree and I would almost weep as
My solitude has been interrupted and
I am no longer safe as my private world had been invaded-
Nobody ever walked this path before until this day and
My dream has been transformed to a nightmare-
I am not safe in a world destroyed by the presence of strangers-
Cardinals, robins and cicadas are my friends and
Other people are my enemies whom I do not trust-
Following in my footsteps and trying to make eye contact,
To read the verses of the songs my mind composes?
I know I have seen angels and heard them singing, and
Birds chanting along with the gentle winds
Rustling the leaves upon the trees-
But now other people have discovered the path,
upon which I have walked alone,
And my secure space has become a public tenement-
I once believed nobody ever walked this path before,
This path to which I could escape reality and lose myself inside
The magnificent world of my delusions-now they have come to take me away and
To lock me inside this prison which I cannot escape?
I cannot hear the angels singing here and birds are seemingly far away-
Here I have lost myself inside my own world,
one so different and so frightening?
There are people here, so close to me, yet I feel so alone-
Although alone in a dangerous way- I am singing my own song,
Hoping that the angels can hear me and one day I shall be back in unison with nature,
Far away from intruders and singing in harmony with nightingales –
And once again, alone safely,
as I shall have abandoned the nightmare of reality,
Touching the sky in my dreams, dancing with angels as I listen to the cicadas chanting
Happily as they are lost inside the world of their fantasies, just as I wish to be…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Dreaming Inside
Last night I lay awake,
Last night people were screaming- People threatening to kill me-
I was alone in my room, lying amongst dark shadows-
Looking about- nobody else was there- I thought I must be dreaming,
The whole world was threatening me, as
I was chasing away the dark shadows on the walls,
I heard voices say ‘Dream on, dream on'
But I knew I wasn't dreaming.
It was after midnight- I was not sleeping-
All I could do was cast my eyes about the
Sallow colored walls- of this room- chasing away those shadows-
While I believed they were speaking to me-
Voices saying 'dream on, dream on'-
Were laughing and mocking me, so I believed-
These voices only I could hear- I could only pray I was dreaming inside-
I couldn't shut my eyes in these moments of wakefulness,
Because these shadows were robbing me of my sanity-
I could hear screaming voices and threatening intonations-
I was a lone being lost in a room amongst my own shadows-
When I realized these voices were coming from inside?
'Dream on, dream on'- I told myself in total desperation-
Knowing, however, I cannot dream within these moments of wakefulness-
I wanted to believe these shadows were alive,
So I wouldn't be alone in the midst of these loud and angry voices-
These voices only I could hear- commanding me to take my life.
'Dream on, dream on, ' I whispered hoarsely through my tears-
Be good to me, my shadows and rock me to sleep-
Carry me away to a trance where trees grow and flourish and
Where deer are running wild, locusts are singing and
I am alone amongst these melodious sounds of the summer.
It seems wherever I go and in whatever direction- these angry voices follow-
Tonight I shall lose myself amongst my shadows and close my eyes-
I shall close my eyes and pray although I am not certain if a God is listening-
I shall close my eyes and sleep-like a herd of deer chase away those who wish me harm-
And finally, with every effort- lose myself inside the world of my dreams
Where everything is quiet, without menacing voices so terrifying present and
I shall dream on, dream on, regaining my sanity-
Losing myself inside a world of eternal reverie for always...
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Deliverance
It is nearly midnight; I can read the clock inside of my mind.
I can see through the darkness
Wicked hands reaching forward- with dagger- like fingers-
Sharp and threatening-
I am surrounded by vicious animals,
Hungry snakes and people who wish to harm me?
I would open that golden door to freedom if I could, if only to
Escape this terrifying world that
Surrounds me- I have no key and the lock
Is hanging off some invincible being's wrist as would a bracelet-
Tinted gold as the door that bars me, and striking- though
Not beautiful but hideously distorted-
I can still read the clock inside of my mind
Which I can read through the bleakest darkness- I see a door to freedom although
The lock and most likely, the key have been lost- All eyes are upon me and
All voices are threatening; all beings wishing me harm are loudening-
I cannot escape through this door toward unreachable liberty,
I hope I am dreaming and this is none but a nightmare-
This world is closing in on me from many directions- as my tongue forks out,
I still wonder why is the whole world against me?
It is past midnight and I foresee no escape from doomsday except for
That door to freedom that is locked and I own no key-
The lock and key would be my saviors - I don't believe in a higher being-
Evil eyes are upon me; I have come to full awareness that
I could awaken and darkness would still prevail,
Even though the sun is brilliant on a cloudless day, only because
Present in my awakened state I foresee no door opening toward freedom-
The sun is shining, and there is a rainbow on the horizon-
But I see my shadow fading into bleak darkness and despair-
Voices inside of my mind are commanding and I know-
I know and don't need to be told-
My whole world is darkening because since the day I was born into this world,
I have been a victim of abuse, confusion and disorientation and
The lights inside the womb that carried me burnt out before my birth and
My whole life has been a nightmare, and here I can no longer persevere, so I shall
Escape and follow my shadow, as I light a candle illuminating the world of my fantasies
Hopefully to guide me towards salvation…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Miracle
When the sky turns deep purple in color and the mountains appear
An unfathomable shade of magenta-
I see the sunlight sparkling upon the shadows in the creek below.
Sunlight would reflect against crystalline stones and the
Grass is greener than the eyes of a goddess-
There is not a sound to be heard in this moment except for a
Gentle breeze singing a tunefully angelic aria-
When there is not a single person within miles of
This magical place where I have found my spirit dancing-
I know I have nothing to fear.
Looking up into this lavender-hued sky I can see a bird
Soaring above the mountains- its wings shaded a mesmerizing essence of blue and
The feathers on its tail, yellow as sunlight upon a sandy beach-
My utmost and only desire is to be that bird,
Flapping my wings in a gentle gust of wind and looking down upon
This magical world below- I have always been a dreamer.
I hear voices singing songs of freedom and of the mysticism of nature-
I see blossoming flowers of a variety of colors and
I hear voices whispering to me of the miracles of this moment-
I know within my heart and my mind that I am alone and
These voices that I hear are emanating from the depths of my own mind, when
Solitude has never appeared so amazingly striking.
I see that bird flying high up in the sky above and within moments
I have become that bird- flapping my own wings and
Gazing at this vibrant world below me,
For a moment I am the queen of the world and in the next moment,
A deity of the entire universe- Veracity is seemingly thousands of miles away.
I have heard voices of my past telling me I am none but a pauper in a wretched state or
None but a fool who has lost her sanity-in these words I have never believed.
As I continue this tour of this phantasmal space about me,
I know I have found myself a home and the world beyond can attempt to
Tear my soul apart but I know deep inside that this is my reality-
Perhaps others do not hear and see the sounds and the sights that I envision-
However as long as I believe in all that I hear and see within my own thoughts,
What even millions of other people believe does not matter- for it is these people
Whom I believe are in a wretched state, and are still trying to find themselves-
I am queen of my world and have locked the gate to that world's threatening dismay-
I follow my shadow into that deep purple sky and I know that
The shadow of my spirit shall live on forever. I shall keep on moving
Further into the land of my dreams, only to look forward and never turning back.
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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To Reach The Sky
I may have found my paradise, and
If I could only reach the sky,
I would know I will have arrived at the home of my desire;
When I was very young, I was a child without direction,
I was lost and hardly knew which street I walked, though every day,
Terrified of the nighttime hours, I was and
Fearful of the world outside, from the moment that
The sun rose in the valley I could envision outside of my bedroom window?
I could sing angelic hymns concerning the loveliness of this world,
I could sing but my spirit was on the run from veracity and
I hardly believed or understood the words I sung-
It was none but a harmonious tune echoing inside my mind,
Dismembered in many ways, as my thinking was out of touch-
Whenever the rain would fall I would sing and dance outside but
Inside the world of my delusions, locked and keyed from the real world,
That unfamiliar place, perhaps too familiar in many ways, that
It had become the fortress of my intrusive enemies?
Rain is falling hard at this moment, and I cannot reach the sky-
Rain is falling in torrents and my paradise is hidden behind the ominous gray clouds-
My paradise I have never seen as I cannot see beyond the
Fabricated world I have created inside the confinement of my bedroom?
Fairy tales of magical places existing beyond the sky were told to me
From the inside of storybooks and at night I would dream of
Sailing a phantasmal boat beyond the sun, searching for some
Sorcery that would find me a safer haven inside of which to live my life-
A life free from threatening trespassers, cold and gusty winds and
A world of people that could not rob me of my thoughts as well as those
Who could not follow close behind me and terrorize my mind-
Awakening every morning in the darkness, I find myself trapped inside of
A nightmare of horrors I cannot seem to escape from-
If I could only climb that miraculous ladder towards the sky,
To visit the moon at twilight and to ride upon the tail of a shooting star
That would possibly take me to the planet of my dreams?
My paradise, my paradise, where are you now, I ask in thought, and
Why was I born, tell me, why I was born a misfit of society,
Different from all others, these others that attempt to
Read my mind but cannot comprehend as if my thoughts were
Written in some foreign script completely unintelligible?
One day I shall die and when I die I shall be set free
To climb that wondrous ladder built just for me to ascend-
To climb to my paradise in the sky and that
Melodic tune inside my mind shall come alive and I shall pirouette
With the cherubs and the saints although others
here say they are not truly real-
Although inside the community of my thoughts, everything seems real and
To others, things that cannot be seen clash with veracity-
But to me what I cannot touch in this life
is what I believe shall save my very soul-
I carry my paradise inside of my mind and one day I shall abandon
Pain and misfortune and inside mind and body
I shall in all finality reach the sky,
Dance amongst the stars and sing my own hymns of joy and triumph-
I shall plant my own tree of life, and its branches shall give me shade and
A place beneath which to rest, sleep and to
dream of all the goodness that awaits me, and
When the victorious music begins to louden and deafen the nightmares of my past,
I shall finally be set free…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Voices
If only there were a way to find
the return to sanity from an insane mind,
But pills and counseling oh so much
doesn't seem to help those out of touch
with the world about them that you're in
with peace of mind and not the din
of voices you can't hear.
If only the remembrance of a time gone away
could sneak back in for just a day,
But the door has closed on yesterday.
And those voices always seem to stay.
What are they saying? Why are they there?
Where you are it's so hard to bear
the voices that they hear.
If only the world were a different place
where tortured souls would not have to face
the torment inside that is their plight.
Then maybe the voices would leave at night
and find someplace in the universe
to have their say and cast their curse
and rid them of voices they hear.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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Hallucinations
Night has fallen, although
Midnight hours are never strange, and
When rain or snow,
Sometimes is
Heavily falling, though these sounds I cannot hear.
Somehow
It was just another night,
Another day, or
Another minute
Just as yesterday has
Slipped through the crack
Beneath my bedroom door,
Locked, dead bolted and keyed,
I cannot remember if I kept that key, or if the
Rain or snow has come between the world outside and myself?
A song was once written just for me
I could hear the first few words but
Its melody was arrested when somebody in my mind suddenly
Wants me to die as
That song becomes so strangely frightening?
Bells are ringing,
Some shadowy being is standing by my bedside, and
Time has slipped away from me once more through that
Crack beneath my bedroom door.
I just heard the first few words to my favorite song,
Voices tell me I am none but beautiful while that
Rain keeps tap-dancing upon my windowsill.
A shadowy and threatening figure is still lurking above my bed.
That voice inside my mind wants me to die and another is
Telling me I am none but beautiful,
A few more words from my favorite song have just been sung.
I believe I that people are out there wishing me ill-fate, that
Roses grow in the wintertime and
I am swimming in a whirlpool of confusion
Of what is real and what is not?
A few more words from my favorite song, and
Bells keep chiming and I just heard another voice calling my name-
In all fairness, I must confess that
Even though somebody in my mind would like for me to die, and only I can hear those
Ringing bells and songs sung to me,
That melody has been arrested
Suddenly-
Only because I realize now that it is a dance
Choreographed for me alone and
Even if it is a tragic musical
I am in a safer place than outside my door
There is a world out there and
It can rain and it can snow and
Cars can splash through water as they drive by my window and
Every day I spend out there
Is more of a nightmare than
The saddest tune my thoughts can play,
Voices that wish for me to die,
Demonic dances or dark figures lurking above my bed
Will never harm me as much as
What goes on outside my window every day, or as
Going to work or living a life in a very ordinary way, and besides-
I just heard that voice inside my head
Telling me once more that
I am none but beautiful…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Essence of my Dreams
Losing myself in flight on an early summer's morning-
In flight, unaware of the direction-
Unaware of the time of day, I know that
I don't believe in heaven anymore-
In flight above deep blue mountains-
But not weary of the sun's rays attacking me-
Never touching the sun and
Never finding my rainbow,
A myriad of colors are painting the sky-
Though only inside the world of my imagination.
Losing myself in flight and wondering-
If I will ever find safety and peace of mind here in the sky,
Amongst the scattered clouds that surround me-
I could hide behind a cloud to escape reality-
Reality that has become none but a threat to my existence.
Within the figment of my imagination-
I have wings that carry me high above the mountains,
Above the treetops and the ocean turning green as
Its waves lap against the shore-
A multitude of colors are decorating the land below-
Trees are never green but violet in their hue and
That ocean- green but never blue as are the mountains-
In flight I am losing myself in so many different ways-
Separating myself from the world into which I was born-
My mind is creating visions of far away places and
Inside the fortress of my mind, God has given me wings to fly with,
Although I do not believe in heaven-
Within moments I find myself lying upon the ground-
The sky, cloud covered as rain begins to pour down upon me-
I am a lost, lone, and confused spirit-
Threatened by sounds of cars speeding up and down the road behind me-
And people shouting while thunder claps and lightening strikes.
Voices inside of mind are commanding me
To lift my wings and take flight once again-
However I am trapped, being unable to fly, my wings having been phantasmal-
Though inside my dreams I can swim the ocean, searching for safety and familiarity-
Perhaps I shall find myself an island amongst the sea-
But alas only in my dreams-
And perhaps the rain shall stop falling and a rainbow shall rise above the mountains-
Inside the world of my thoughts I shall paint the sky blue and cloudless,
Lift my wings and soar back into the sky and look down-
Down at this world where I have always wished to escape from-
Happiness shall be found within the world of my imagination-
Violet hued trees - their branches swaying in the wind
May someday give me shade as I close my eyes and dream,
Then I shall burst into song, in chorus with the voices inside my mind-
I have peace of mind now knowing I can be anyplace I can fathom-
Because I am a person who though never believed in heaven-
Strongly believes in the essence of my dreams…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hi There, Outside World
Hi there, Outside world,
It's been a while, you see.
I've missed you lots, and tons, and much,
And we all know you've missed me.
Hi there, Outside world,
Come inside and stay a while,
No one will know where you've gone,
In here, from the world, so vile.
Hi there, Outside world,
Aren't you curious where I've been?
Don't you want to know everything,
Like why, and how, and when?
Hi there, Outside world,
It's much better inside of doors,
No noises, or sickness, or hate, or death,
Here there's only peace, no wars.
Hi there, Outside world,
Wouldn't you love to get away?
Just leave them there, Forget they care,
Just come inside and stay.
Hi there, Outside world,
We can be friends, just you and me,
We can sing, and dance, and talk,
And for once, we'll both be free.
Hi there, Outside world,
That world is a scary place,
Wouldn't you rather a nice warm house,
Where evil leaves no trace?
Hi there, Outside world,
Come live with me, my dear,
You'll never go another day,
While cowering in fear.
Hi there, Outside world,
Please don't ask to leave,
I need someone to stay with me,
It's lonely, you'll believe.
Wait, Outside world,
I can convince you, you'll see,
Just stay here for evermore,
Leave those people be.
Outside world, I need your help,
Don't leave me here to die,
It's sad, and I feel alone,
In my spare time, I cry.
What's that you say, Outside world?
Leave my house of sadness?
Go with you to your outside place?
My word, now that's just madness!
Listen here, Outside world,
I'm never welcome back,
I've left there once, and can't return,
Of that, I'm sure as fact.
Silly little Outside world,
You say I'm missed a lot,
How could that be, Outside world,
If I've never been sought.
I see all, Outside world,
And I know they do not want me,
I'd rather stay here, in my mind,
Than live amongst the happy.
I fear I can't, Outside world,
This house is all I need,
I know it's meager, and so dark,
But, I must live my creed.
I swore an oath, Outside world,
That I should live in here for ever,
Never leave, Never be,
With or without endeavor.
I keep my word, Outside world,
This place is where I stay,
I never can go back, you see,
I've gone too far away.
Goodbye, Outside world,
I really enjoyed our chat,
I'm sorry to hear you have to go,
Devastated, at that.
So long, Outside world,
If I never see you again,
Tell the world what happened here,
Don't let it happen to them.
poem by K.N. Sheldon
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Palace in the Sky
Forever lost inside my own world-never to come out of hiding
I am building palaces in the sky though I can only see the stars.
I can only see the stars, and
The quarter moon's light shining dimly upon the horizon
Casting its shadows upon the places of my dreams-
How I wish to escape the misfortunes of life upon this planet and
Make my home inside a palace somewhere in the sky.
I had built a million palaces, so it seems-
Every day and every night, I find myself rapidly losing my grasp upon
What is real and what is not- I am running a marathon toward someplace
Between the land where grasses and flowers grow and the
Trees, from the ground reaching upward to touch the clouds,
I can feel the gentleness of the late spring's breeze
Blowing against my cheeks, damp from tears that have I have cried, as
This world has not been kind to me.
People are heartless, and only laugh when I am weeping,
Looking into my eyes reading my thoughts, and
Ridiculing me as I converse with the voices inside of my mind,
Which have become my only consoling realities while inside this world of my fantasies,
I have become a dove with broken wings-which with deep gratefulness can still fly.
Lost inside some sort of trance, I am building palaces in the sky.
Placid breezes rustle the leaves upon the trees, almost making music-
Creating tunes about nature, peace of mind and are never threatening-
However, I know that one day these trees will all be cut down to fabricate homes
For thousands of people- people who have no heart or no spirit of patience or kindness
So I know that I must continue building my palaces in the sky.
Summer storms shall rip across the sky and I know I must use all my strength
To stay alive so I may lift my broken wings to find a palace which I have built-
The quarter moon is casting its light upon the world and about the sky-
I am glancing repeatedly towards the sky searching for my palace, my home-
Flying bravely about to the best of my ability, on
My endless search for freedom and safety, praying to a God I am not certain that exists-
My hope is to see my golden palace glistening beneath the light of the quarter moon,
All I can see are the stars- what lurks behind those stars I may never know,
But I shall continue to fight the clouds and build my palaces, my castles.
May the stars illuminate the darkness and guide me towards some redeeming veracity,
Even if I never find my palace- in the meantime I shall keep on
Looking upward and forward and even if my dreams never do come true-
I know I can always continue to travel about the sky and I know that
I shall forever behold the splendor of the moon and always count upon the stars
To elucidate the direction upon which I travel and for always be my guiding lights…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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