Protagonist
Tears had once fallen from inside
Every part of me-
A breeze rustles the barren branches on the trees
In the midwinter, here where
Fear, anger and mistrust have for so long been the enemy.
I can envision something magical about every bough upon every tree, while
The sound of the wind calms me.
I watch the branches upon the surrounding trees move about
As ballerinas dancing-
A symphony is playing inside of my mind-
Every thought transforming fear toward enchantment-
I also am dancing to the melody of the wind.
As snow begins to fall,
I can clearly see a pathway blazing before me now.
I am in union with nature as the deer running wild,
Trees scraping the sky and the uniqueness of every snowflake
Has obliterated the anguish and suddenly all that once tormented me
Has been lost behind me now as I keep stepping forward, into the
Glory of the wilderness-
My only care now is what the future holds-
As I leave the past behind me, buried beneath feet of snow-
This prospect has become a stage before me filled with hope where
The protagonist could be me, courageously fighting my fears, as
A symphony continues to play inside of my mind, music being nature’s bounty-
I have searched and found my safe haven here where
I have become a winner in the theatrical game of life.
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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One Day at a Time
Yesterday the sky was clear and the sun
Was visible behind the barren trees-
In the early morning the snow was falling and
The path upon which I walked led me to nowhere-
In this life I have no destination, Yesterday wild geese were calling
High in the sky, I followed their lead-
I do not know what my future holds-
My family, being amongst the departed-
As snow falls lightly upon my horizon,
My future is clouded.
I live one day at a time,
Yesterday the sky was clear and today-
Overcast, clouded and dismal- although
I can still see the wild geese flying above and
I believe I saw a young deer
Lying amongst the trees, near where I am walking-
I have no destination and my future is
Darkened by clouds of uncertainty- although
Wild geese, deer and a lone cardinal-
Have become my best friends today as I walk and as I
Continue my journey-In all suddenness it hardly matters- in actuality-
That I do not know what my future holds or
That I do not know my destination in this life-
Today I own the forest, and the mystery of it all
Has given me strength to persevere-
Living one day at a time has removed the clouds as would an eraser to a chalkboard-
Enveloping inside of my mind the glory of my surroundings as
The voices inside of my mind accompany me-
I shall let the magnificence of these woodlands very well be my destiny-
I believe I see a ray of light shining through the bleakness of the sky,
Though phantasmal, it is still there to guide me for this moment-
Yesterday the sky was clear but my life was an empty cage-
Today I have become the queen of the woodlands,
I live one day at a time and as I hear the wild geese calling and
In their own way beckoning me- as a herd of deer gallop by- I realize
I shall never be alone as I hear voices speaking to me
That only I can hear-the deer, the wild geese are close by and
I see the beauty of the snow blanketing the trail as I walk-
Living one day at a time, I need not think of tomorrow
Because today has just become too beautiful-
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Candle of Hope
Candle of Hope
Lost within space and time,
I am running, as I am
Following the stars before me-
Inside of my mind,
All I can see are moments of madness.
My hair, blowing in the wind, behind me, as I
Dash away from all that I fear,
My thoughts are far away from
Every moment in time,
As I am searching for a ray of hope to hold onto as
None of my dreams have ever
Come true-
If I could light a candle,
Perhaps its flame would guide me towards a miracle-
A miracle of my most promising fantasies becoming reality-
Where the darkness of night
Would transform to the levity of daybreak at sunrise-
I am lost in space and time, where
My world continues to darken-
Life has always been a bizarre journey for me where
Hope has yet to be found-
It is the stars that have given me an increment of light,
Illuminating a pathway before me, to give me
Some small hope that I would awaken
In some other world where
Love, fortune and peace of mind would
Overshadow mistrust and sadness-
I whisper in thought, somewhere in the back of my mind-
Light me a candle with a flame so bright,
That will break through dark clouds of doubt-
Whereby I would be running forward in time,
Finding wealth, joy, and hope never ending
As the flame on that candle
Would burn for an eternity
Only to guide me forward, not backward,
Leaving that life of misfortune behind me-
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Don't Feel Like It
The sky is blue and a streak of
Magenta hovers beneath the early morning’s sun as
It rises over the treetops-
The air is cool, crisp and invigorating,
Blowing as a gentle breeze through the open crack
In my living room window, inviting me to walk outside-
Today I feel no motivation-
Today I fear the outside world
Today I cannot face-
Inside where all I can hear is the ticking of the wall clock and
The sound of eerie silence interrupting
The voices inside of my mind that wish me ill fate-
Today is just another day- I know today is almost magical,
There is so much outside that seems to be summoning- though
Today I cannot venture outward.
I hear the gentle morning breeze rustling the barren branches upon the trees-
I can recall my mother’s tearful voice and her frequently spoken words
“I don’t feel like it.”
Today I don’t feel like walking amongst nature’s bounty and
As my tears are falling down my flushed cheeks-
I remember my mother and how she didn’t care-
She didn’t care about whether she lived or died and
She didn’t care if the sun was shining or hiding behind clouds of misfortune-
And how I so believed she did not care about me?
The sky is blue in the early morning as
A magenta cloud hovers above the rising sun-
I have been told to try and understand my mother’s plight and
To bring her back inside my memory and wish her well-
My mother is dead and gone and
I cannot bring her back in any way – too much time has passed and
The voices inside of my mind keep telling me- she did not care.
I cannot bring her back- even if she were to become an angel in heaven-
No matter if the sky is blue on an inviting winter day-
I cannot venture outside and I cannot forgive my mother-
Some say I need to try and forgive her before the rain takes over and
Washes away even memories of all of good times-
All I can remember are her words as I repeat them-
“I don’t feel like it.”
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Fondest Dream
It has always been my desire,
To be alone amongst hundreds of trees, deer and
In solitude beneath the sun as it would shine through the trees in the woodlands,
Casting shadows upon the creek that meanders throughout-
I remember a story my mother used to read to me
When I was none but a child of three years old,
A story about living alone in a little cabin in the woods-
And to this day I believe that that story was written for me-
I can almost envision that cabin built from branches of fallen trees,
Where I would make my home,
Far from the millions of people in this world,
But not far at all from the deer, birds and all of nature-
It is my belief that there are different ways of being lonely.
Alone, far from threatening people who dwell amid this planet, as
When I am amongst these people, I am truly lonely and misunderstood,
While inside the place of my dreams I have escaped these billions of people,
Made a home in the cabin from my storybook, and
Am living amongst the wonders of nature and the world of my own thoughts-
Never alone, never lonely until I awaken and find myself
Rudely thrown back to reality-
Now I know that if I want to escape
What is true loneliness to me, all I have to do is to close my eyes and
To lose myself inside the world of my fondest dreams.
Standing beneath the shadows cast by the tallest trees,
Watching the deer running freely- and listening to the wild geese calling-
Looking upward toward the sky here at nightfall, I wish upon a star,
That my dream will someday come true- because
What I dream shall never harm me- and in my thoughts,
Being misapprehended by a multitude of strangers is
What loneliness truly can be? Being alone with my familiar thoughts,
Amongst the magic of nature is peace, happiness and never being lost-
And being the star of my childhood storybook-living in that cabin in the woods,
Perhaps alone there, but never lonely…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Parts Of Me
There is one part of me that
Feels safe sometimes, that part of me
That doesn’t go outside of my front door and
Just stays home and listens to music playing and
Sings along softly to the tunes while
I paint my life’s story in vivid colors or
Write my testimony over and over again, though in different words every time-
My dream being that someday I shall be discovered
As the person I truly am-
That person who wants the world to know
That the path I have walked has been
Scattered with stones and branches of fallen trees-
And how I have bent over to collect those stones and
How I have kicked the branches aside- That person I truly am who
Is like a bird with broken wings but has found a way to fly-
Perhaps not high in the sky but flying, just the same or
Maybe as a deer with a broken leg who still can run,
Perhaps not at a galloping speed but running just the same-
There is a part of me that is terrified and has always been-
Terrified of the people in this world so vast and so threatening-
I have found myself a cave inside of which to hide and
Here I can sing, dance or just merely talk- I have pulled the curtains shut and as I
Whisper words as incoherent as they may be-
It hardly matters because no one is here to
Slight me or to interrupt my performance-
So many have often said how lonely I must be-
Living alone inside my shelter, though a safe place for me to hide-
Safe with the curtains drawn, windows shut and doors locked and chained-
This one part of me is none but victorious as
I call myself a survivor, having collected all of the stones and
Having kicked all of the branches on the paths I walk aside-
Happy to be here at home- singing and dancing-
I can laugh and run about here and sometimes when I step outside my sanctuary
If only for a moment and I could tell any passerby –
I am never alone, never lonely because
The whole world could disappear within a gust of wind- and
I am not alone in this world or never lonely only because-
Even if every person in this world would vanish, I shall always have myself-
The tunes I carry- the canvas upon which I majestically paint my life’s story-
And most of all- my dreams-
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Escape
As I lose myself inside of a world of my own-
Perhaps a shadow would pass me by,
Or maybe a fawn would wade in the creek
Along side of the path I walk-
I fear other people, this world’s intruders.
I would break away from reality if only
There was a point of no return and escape towards
A place where I can look down
Upon this path I have walked before-
Far away from all of the people who slight, follow and wish me harm-
Evergreens and maple trees-
Wild rabbits, squirrels and wild geese roam about-
These are the ones I call my true friends-
I would dance in the sky if I could-
Lost inside of a world behind the clouds, as
The sun behind me is casting shadows
Upon the path that I am now walking
Shadows that shall transform to dreams-
Dreams of an eternal life inside this world of my own-
Listen- can you hear the calling of the wild?
Listen- can you hear the gentle breeze rustling the leaves within
The litheness of nature surrounding me?
Listen- can you hear the sound of my heart beating amorously as
My own shadow disappears behind myriads of towering oak trees?
Rain could begin to fall and
A storm could approach and now I can say in all honesty it would not matter-
My mind has finally locked the door to reality and I have tossed the key
To the rapids rushing up the creek beside me-I have finally escaped.
If thousands of people were to approach and cross the path upon which I make my way-
I have lost touch with all that is real and in flight of the imagination
There is no turning back- even if it is only with in a dream;
Nobody needs war, cacophony and disaster,
If one can be in union with nature and fantasy that can be found in
One’s own back yard and a gust of wind can carry away that key to the door of
Pain and misfortune. Follow the shadows cast by the sun, and
Never look back, as this world inside of your dreams could last for an eternity…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Shadow
I am a shadow;
I dance in rhythm with the changing of the seasons.
As the rain falls, I weep.
I become sky lightening as a storm approaches.
I fight with thunder in an approaching squall.
I rage war with the fury of the wind-
With the locusts, I scream.
The creek’s water rushes over its banks, and
As torrential rains inundate its surface,
I am the shadow that is reflected in the pond, into where the
Creek empties, then sighs- as the
Storm subsides.
I am that shadow, motionless, but angry.
I am a shadow lost in the wild-
I follow the deer-
They do not fear me-
I am silent and cautious but wrathful.
No one can envision the flame that sears my soul- as
My rage smolders.
My shadow is the inner child living within me that
Plays a game with the brushfire that blazes in the forest,
That shadow that blends with the darkness as the
Sun sets, and with the rising of the moon,
I am its shadow that reappears, coming into its power.
I chant with the rustling of the trees and the singing of the nightingale, as the
Late summer’s breeze carries me.
I glance with grace and dignity at the treetops,
Lost and confused, I am searching for life’s meaning,
A home for myself, and an escape from reality-
I am the shadow of my dreams,
I have no future in this world;
I am only a shadow,
Lost in the woodlands,
Blending with the trees, and fading into the night-
As shy as the deer, but invisible-
I scream with the locusts,
I dance,
I chant.
Invisible to this world, here I am powerless and fearful, though as
I disappear into the horizon,
Hidden inside a mountain of clouds, I return to my power.
I have found here another place in time where
No one can harm me.
I am my own person, strong, brave and angry-
Lost somewhere in these clouds,
I have found a safe haven.
I dissolve into nothingness, and follow my dreams.
Whether it be in a dream or in reality,
I shall be found and never lost.
There will always be shadows dancing with the rhythm of the
Changing of time…
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Purpose
Tall trees touch the sun,
As the moon follows behind,
Lost inside of a rainbow.
The sun’s rays fail to dispel the darkness,
Although
It may be very early morning.
Leaves on the trees are
Small cupped hands, which
Cling to branches of unreality.
They hold dewdrops,
Tears of naiads
Lost in the storm of their
Abject misery,
Destined as they were
To reach heaven someday
Too far to travel from
Their homes amongst the woodlands.
One could have been myself,
Rising early, at daybreak
Each and every morning,
I would venture outward to
Walk the same rugged pathway
Uphill and down,
Winding about myriads of trees,
Some that would scrape the sky and others
Fallen by many a windstorm-
In my dream I would board a small jet plane,
Fluorescent in its color,
Headed towards the heavens, as it
Would travel through the forest at dawn-
Perhaps, I thought at one time,
This could be a different kind of a journey-
Now I know,
I am none but a lost soul,
With no purpose in life,
Awakening every single day
Only to voyage outward,
To follow the sun…
I may capture each moment in time,
Loving every tree and being mesmerized by
The sight of young deer grazing and then leaping
Through the brush, and
Although so in love with nature,
My life is none but static-
Listening to the same lullaby
Day and night, though soothing as it may be, and
Seeing the world through the eyes of a dreamer,
This phantasmal life is without change or purpose-
Perhaps I should be grateful that the sun
Does not hide its face and
Someday I may lose myself inside the clouds that decorate the sky,
Follow the moon towards midnight’s passage, hide
Inside that rainbow captured and
Lose myself in a
Different realm of time…
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Through My Eyes
I believe-
I believe my thoughts are being broadcasted
I believe you can see my world through my eyes-
When your eyes are closed, I believe that you can hear my thoughts
My thoughts that speak of persecution and threat
These thoughts, as directed towards the rest of the world.
I place my hands over my eyes so that
What is inside of mind does not become
The literature of other people-
Even though my thoughts are silent
When your eyes make contact with mine,
All that I am thinking screams out to you and
I know you wish to harm me.
I believe-
I believe I am being threatened
Being threatened by those who follow my path,
Walking behind me, and somehow
Knowing my destination-
The leaves upon the trees have fallen in autumn and
Now the trees are barren, and I have no place to hide.
This whole world has become the enemy.
I believe my thoughts are broadcasted as I walk,
Kicking aside stones and the leaves that have fallen-
Snow has fallen upon the edge of time and
I stand upon the edge of time, counting the minutes-
Counting every second before the whole world knows of
The anger, hurt and my thoughts misconstrued,
That are torturing me every day and every night-
All I can do is to keep on walking and hope
That one day this mistrust of the world shall
Heal inside my troubled mind and somebody’s eyes
Will make contact with mine and say
“it doesn’t matter to me what you are thinking because
You are a person with a heart and a soul like everyone else and
I believe we all have faults-“ I look towards the sky searching for an increment of hope A world exists inside of me- a beautiful world I hope someday will not matter
If I let somebody inside to see- to know my destination and
I won’t need to hide anymore- when spring comes flowers shall blossom and
Leaves shall grow in the summer- and in the autumn leaves shall turn colors and fall-
I shall continue my journey towards the day I can learn to trust the world around me,
As I kick aside the stones and the fallen leaves as I walk-
With my eyes open to the world, my spirit, unafraid.
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Am
I am a tree,
Amongst many,
Growing in the backwoods,
As a person lost in a world of millions-
I stand proudly, and
Strong against the wind,
Bearing flowers in the spring and
Leaves, so green in the summertime…
In the autumn my foliage
Transforms to oranges, reds and browns an then fall,
Leaving me barren in the wintertime,
The storms that arrive so unexpectedly, I fear-
And even more so,
The forest fires that rage and that I have no power to stop-
Losing my branches, when lightening strikes I fear,
Or losing myself in an upsurge of flames-
I never know when my life could end,
Or when I would become none but a
Pile of sticks or logs
To which someone could light a match-
I am a tree, amongst many,
Though in some ways stronger than the others,
I am a special one, bearing flowers of a different color and
Branches that appear thinner and weaker
Than surrounding trees,
Though mine have yet to fall-
Someday a hurricane shall sweep through the forest and
Every tree shall be fallen to the wind-
Though I shall remain standing alone-
Fires may burn and storms shall come and go-
But my greatest fear is that
I shall never grow tall and scrape the magnificent blue sky,
Where angels sing and stars scintillate, and
That glorious sunrises and sets-
So much like those people who are angry and are
Always in the darkness-
It hurts sometimes to be special, even though unique-
As everyone fears those that are different-
Even if one is none but a tree, for
A tree that is different could be harmful and inevitably-
Someone will cut you down- and the flowers that once adorned you
Shall perish and be forgotten…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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The Magical World of My Dreams
A silver key has locked me inside my own world, where I have
Lost myself inside the shadows of my dreams-
As would a thundercloud, my tears are like the rain that falls-
The sky would clear and as the sun would re-emerge,
Perhaps there is some levity inside this place of my reverie-
Having lost my soul and my spirit following close behind as a
Fledgling bird may have flown by within a moments notice,
I hear the ticking of a clock rhythmically keeping time to
The motion of my steps slowly walking away from
The confusion, fear, and destitution of veracity-
I am none but a silhouette slipping through a crack in the door
Leading to this place of my flight of the imagination-
I have lost myself along the way I once believed was paved for me alone,
Though only lead me towards madness
And to a world so vast, frightening and unfamiliar-
Running backward down that very same path until I arrived at
That mystifying door that was open for me alone,
That door only I could enter with that magical silver key,
I could hear the songs of angels singing tunes of love, peace and faith-
Stepping with caution over the threshold of that door,
As I closed it gently but firmly behind me-
Here inside this place where there are no hills and trees grow
With leaves of silver and a creek runs through in all of its crystalline clarity-
The sun here is just bright enough to guide me down a
Path of hope- and the people in this place are not threatening and
Are true to their word, innocuous, caring and promising that
Here tears are golden and only shed for joy-
No room for sadness, disappointment and fear in this miraculous land,
This magnificent place where I have been reborn-
I own a silver key and a special paintbrush with which I have painted
A rainbow across a sky of cerulean blue- along with phantasmal seraphs
With unyielding strength I have pushed all clouds away.
I listen to the joyous tunes of cherubs’ singing- I can see the reflection of
Peace flowers dancing in a cool breeze before the sapphire-hued pond-
My spirit and soul I once believed lost has been found here-
I have locked the door between myself and what so many have deemed as reality
With that phantasmal silver key and thrown it to the wind.
So many have believed that painted rainbows, crystalline creeks and ponds of sapphire-
Songs of angels and trees bearing leaves of silver
Are none but figments of my imagination- I have in a sense lost myself
Inside a world of my delusions but having abandoned fear, sadness and dismay-
This new found peace of mind has become my new reality –as that silver key is
Blowing about in the wind somewhere, some place a long distance upward in the sky-
I know I am safe here inside the shadows of my dreams- knowing that
All clouds have disappeared, my tears
Which have fallen with the rain of past days, are forever gone…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Magical Land of My Dreams
A silver key has locked me inside my own world, where I have
Lost myself inside the shadows of my dreams-
As would a thundercloud, my tears are like the rain that falls-
The sky would clear and as the sun would re-emerge,
Perhaps there is some levity inside this place of my reverie-
Having lost my soul and my spirit following close behind as a
Fledgling bird may have flown by within a moments notice,
I hear the ticking of a clock rhythmically keeping time to
The motion of my steps slowly walking away from
The confusion, fear, and destitution of veracity-
I am none but a silhouette slipping through a crack in the door
Leading to this place of my flight of the imagination-
I have lost myself along the way I once believed was paved for me alone,
Though only lead me towards madness
And to a world so vast, frightening and unfamiliar-
Running backward down that very same path until I arrived at
That mystifying door that was open for me alone,
That door only I could enter with that magical silver key,
I could hear the songs of angels singing tunes of love, peace and faith-
Stepping with caution over the threshold of that door,
As I closed it gently but firmly behind me-
Here inside this place where there are no hills and trees grow
With leaves of silver and a creek runs through in all of its crystalline clarity-
The sun here is just bright enough to guide me down a
Path of hope- and the people in this place are not threatening and
Are true to their word, innocuous, caring and promising that
Here tears are golden and only shed for joy-
No room for sadness, disappointment and fear in this miraculous land,
This magnificent place where I have been reborn-
I own a silver key and a special paintbrush with which I have painted
A rainbow across a sky of cerulean blue- along with phantasmal seraphs
With unyielding strength I have pushed all clouds away.
I listen to the joyous tunes of cherubs’ singing- I can see the reflection of
Peace flowers dancing in a cool breeze before the sapphire-hued pond-
My spirit and soul I once believed lost has been found here-
I have locked the door between myself and what so many have deemed as reality
With that phantasmal silver key and thrown it to the wind.
So many have believed that painted rainbows, crystalline creeks and ponds of sapphire-
Songs of angels and trees bearing leaves of silver
Are none but figments of my imagination- I have in a sense lost myself
Inside a world of my delusions but having abandoned fear, sadness and dismay-
This new found peace of mind has become my new reality –as that silver key is
Blowing about in the wind somewhere, some place a long distance upward in the sky-
I know I am safe here inside the shadows of my dreams- knowing that
All clouds have disappeared, my tears
Which have fallen with the rain of past days, are forever gone…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Have You Ever?
Without compassion, I gaze into your tear-filled eyes, I ask you
“Have you ever fallen and hurt yourself, ”, or
“Have you ever been in love and lost-or have you ever been trapped
Inside of a blizzard of snow, while the snow outside is falling
So hard that you couldn’t see the trees or even the sky-, it is only raining now and
You are inside your home, safe and free from outside intruders-
I have fallen in love and lost, while you are weeping, seemingly without reason?
I never have seen you running outside and having fallen,
Neither crying over the loss of a loved one? ”
Now, as I listen I can hear you say to me-
“Don’t turn your head or close your eyes while my tears are falling-
Don’t laugh while I pick up the pieces of my shattered past-“
Then I hear you ask-“have you ever been hurt inside by voices
Wishing you nothing but harm, voices you say talk only to you
That no one else can hear? ” and
“Can you fathom being locked inside an empty room alone,
Only because you couldn’t stop screaming-
You have loved and lost, though I have never been loved at all before, and
I see the snow falling in torrents in this moment-
As in this moment I am losing myself inside
A blizzard of madness as I fall into a trap of my own delusions, ” then
With anxious eyes gazing aimlessly downward, you question
“Have you ever seen snakes crawling up you bedside or
Have you ever been trapped within moments of madness?
Where fate has thrown the key to the wind? ”, then,
“Listen to the wind screaming and see my tears falling as would
A downpour in a summer storm- lightening strikes between us and
To you, it comes, illuminates the darkness and disappears, while
To me it tells me that this world I have been so cruelly born in is not a safe place-“
“Don’t speak to me of lost love and skinned knees as the snow falls
Painting a beautiful picture for you of a winter’s wonderland-
My world has just caved in and I have yet to see the stars-
I would ride upon the tail of a shooting star if I only could
To travel to another planet where nobody threatens me-
This is none but a dream and most of my past dreams have been nightmares-
The snow is falling in torrents and while you can’t see the sky,
I am only thankful that at this moment in time, I cannot see the demons
That persecute me day and night- though only for this brief moment-
You were once a child with a broken leg that has healed and
I see you running marathons of delight while
I am a bird with a broken wing that cannot ever fly.”
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lover of Nature
As the sun rises over the mountainside,
A fascination with all that is innate,
Here within the depth of the woodlands
I have been drawn closer to nature,
Blossoming wild flowers,
Trees scraping the cumulus clouds above and
Deer gallivanting about the trail-
Only the songs of locusts singing has
Interrupted the enchanting silence,
As I suddenly but unobtrusively fall into a deeply thoughtful mode-
In all suddenness I find myself content and delighted
To be alone with my own thoughts and
Rewardingly close to the glory of
This scenery, so picturesque and inspiring
In a most unique, mesmerizing way-
Far away from the loudness of city life,
Cars rushing up and down hectic highways, and
People never pausing to see what exists beyond
Their daily routines,
I call myself fortunate to be blessed with solitude and with
This quiet though in some ways musically compelling environment,
As I have escaped all there is to dread-
Kneeling beneath the shade of a maple tree,
I can nearly see my face reflected within
The clarity of the crystalline creek before me-
I believe I have found my true home here as
I have discovered, becoming pensive and delighted to be alone in this place,
I am content to call my own private world, as
I feel myself happily growing, here where I am safe, joyful to have discovered this
Magical kingdom, where rain never seems to fall upon my horizon,
Leaving me with nothing to fear …
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Autumn
I have let go of time,
I have let days disappear and
As I walk down this pathway of life
For a brief moment
I have become a child again-
Not knowing where to run to or
How to evade misconceptions,
I do know that there are trees
Behind which to hide and even fortresses in the air-
Memories of my childhood, seeing what others did not see,
Being forever slighted and misunderstood,
Memories of my empty heart and these memories I cannot escape.
I often ask myself why these recollections of fear, sadness and mistrust
Have become a branch upon a tree that
Will not break and blow away in a windstorm and
More recent recurrences which others have
Deemed as impressive and worthwhile have
Vanished perhaps high in the sky as
Riding upon a shooting star that has burnt out in the universe-
I have let days disappear although not
Memories of childhood sorrows and rivers of tears-
I am drowning inside a tributary of sadness.
Leaves upon the trees turning rust, yellow and even red in the autumn,
Cool air at dawn caresses my arms within a brief moment of pleasure-
A voice inside of my mind tells me to never let go of present moments, as
The leaves shower upon me in a gust of wind and
This being the most picturesque and enlightening time of the year-
I am learning- never let go of time,
Never let these days disappear.
Childhood moments of abuse, disappointment and unrelenting pain,
Are forever gone and we must grasp onto today and
Perhaps even the future- I know not where to run to although
I shall keep running forward and cease looking behind-
Kicking fallen leaves aside and breathing the crisp autumn air-
As I bury the past within a moment of realization that
The agonizing past moments that we only see inside of our minds
Have ridden that shooting star and are lost someplace in the universe, while
I can see time ahead and in this present moment
Being a colorful aura and worth a lifetime of happiness.
I grasp and hold onto time, while letting all of those tears cried for yesterday
Flow downstream and over stones and to be forgotten as
Earth in a flurry of a storm-
poem by Claudia Krizay
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For Kyt
Yesterday, or perhaps,
Tomorrow,
I would find,
Without reason
Or avidly searching, as I listen cautiously to
The sound of the wind rustling the dying leaves on the oak trees
And the sound of a squall carrying, but
Only a few weathered pebbles
With all its dogged strength,
Tossing them about as they
Braise the ice-clad wooded pathway-
I am perhaps searching as I walk
Through the dense fog that hovers as a
Magician’s cloak would guard the treetops with care.
I believe, as blatantly as a single star is
Blazing a pathway through the early morning’s mist,
That I have found you, perhaps another lost soul…
Take my hand, though carefully and with caution,
For I am afraid that lightening in any moment in time
Could strike you and you would die.
The loss of you would be as overwhelming as to
Never behold that elusive morning’s star again, though
I may only weep-
My tears, though never copious would be
Shattering but one at a time as
They fall senselessly upon the frozen creek that
Has risen before my feet, and
You my beloved, would disappear, after
The fog has lifted…
Last night I heard sad angels screaming as they
Threw hailstones from the heavens that blinded me and after
I danced in solitude amongst the barren trees, though now
I stand but in awe of you,
My only kindred spirit, as the sunrises at daybreak,
Only wondering where lost souls find solace after
Lightening would strike us both,
Perhaps beneath that creek that has once risen before my feet
After the messiah’s tears have fallen from the sky,
I could hold you locked inside my aching heart forever and then
I would catch that shining star that would blaze a path for us to forever follow as
One more tear would shatter upon the face of time…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Finding the Light
My world darkens as
Light surrounds me-
A wall has been erected between
Myself and this world-
Light surrounds me- I cannot reach-
I cannot reach beyond pathways towards oblivion-
A path exists before me, Straight and uphill-
The same path that I walk everyday- A pathway seemingly without and end-
Light surrounds me, So, I have been told- So many years have passed-
Promises for a future, a future filled with success-
Hope for a fine life – A sky without cloudiness,
Trees that grow tall and strong bearing flowers that shall never die-
Light surrounds me, I have been told- so,
Why do I only foresee bleakness and demise when
I have always been promised the sun to be rising about me?
This pathway I walk upon has been blocked
By mountains of madness, as along the way
I have drowned in pools of massive confusion,
While I feel hail and rain pounding against the very soul of my existence?
At the end of the road I walk- behind that wall that blocks my destination,
Awaits none but anger, mistrust and disappointment?
Light surrounds me, the light of promises,
The light of expectations, the light of hope-
The very same light that has blazed my spirit and my own rising sun has just burnt out?
My world is dark; I foresee no destiny-
Lightering has struck my tree of hope-
Fallen before me, blocking that same pathway
I walk everyday- I weep for that tree, now fallen, has perished-
I am now standing still as motionless as a marble statue, reflecting light
Which surrounds me and sears the core of my existence-
My tears are falling with the rain that has just taken over the light-
I am drowning in a pool of disarray and disbelief- as all I foresee is dimness-
That fallen tree casts shadows, obliterating my horizon?
Feeling my way through the mystifying haziness,
I begin to run without direction- singing melodies of my rekindled dreams, as
The rain stops and sunlight bursts through in all of its crystalline clarity-
My spirit is dancing atop those mountains of madness-
Being unable to discern veracity, I have lost myself inside the world of my delusions-
This is the world in which I have found a life and inside of which I can laugh and sing,
I see a different sort of light surrounding me now, and it no longer matters that
The flowers upon that fallen tree- have died, as I have found my own special flowers
Growing within a different frame of time and place…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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My Shadow
Things I have left behind
Within an effort to move forward,
Counting every minute, every second-
Reliving my life through every hour, day and year-
The night time sky is falling before my own eyes
Blocking the pathway before me, blinding me-
I cannot foresee a future-The rain that fell every time
I tried to venture outward,
Rain that transformed to tears
When all hope had ostensibly disappeared.
Things I have left behind-
Places where I had been locked inside,
Having lost grounds with all that is real-
Perhaps a few roses in a cracked vase by my bedside,
A mother that did not care and a father that did not believe-
When through my own eyes my world had fallen to pieces.
I left behind many people-
People I did not trust and it was then that I knew
I had to rebuild my foundation,
To build a future for myself that would be mine and mine alone-
Things I have left behind are now
Gone and gone forever-all that is left is time-
Time to move on and to bury the past in my back yard and
Search for hope, a purpose and a new reality.
These things I have left behind are sinking into the ground-
Now I can foresee a future- the flame on my candle is burning
Guiding me as I run forward into a garden of blossoming trees and
A paved pathway upon which to run forward- and a cloudless sky
Where I can lift my wings, once broken and are healing, and fly-
Fly high above looking down below at my newfound veracity-
I know if I were to take a look behind-
All I could see would be a shadow upon a sidewalk-
A shadow of my past and everybody knows that shadows don't last forever, and
All else that I have left behind is gone forever,
Looking forward at the allure of the springtime and
I see clearly now- there is no more rain and as I look above me
I can see trees seemingly touching the sun against a deep blue sky-
I can see clearly now because my eyes are open wide and
There are no tears to cry today and when I glance behind me-
All I see is a shadow- that shadow of my past, vanishing in the late spring's breeze-
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Ode to a Deer
Do not run away and please do not fear me.
Although if you did fear me, I would comprehend-
Whether is it the force of evil that sears the soul of every human-
The loud and strident words that emanate from the moral fiber inside of us?
I was born under a different star- the steps I take are muted-
You are standing still; I can still see you nearby-I am a loner within a crowded world, and
Solitude is my way of life- to some, a forlorn existence, but to me a blessing-
Your silky coat and your antlers, tall and so delicate, and
Your legs are brawny yet graceful-
Are your soulful eyes now fixed upon my countenance, or
Are you now looking about the forest, your home, your place of birth?
I have abandoned crowds, tall buildings and cars rushing up and down highways,
I am seeking refuge here amongst nature and all of its mysterious glory-
Somewhere along my course of life,
I have tripped, fallen and somehow never grew to be part of the
Populated world to which nearly everyone awakens?
I say, "Do not fear me"- I am different from those who dwell in that madding crowd-
I am more like you than you could imagine-
Frightened of loud and unfamiliar noises and
Feeling more at home amongst trees, mountains, grass and wildflowers,
My wish is to become a deer as you are, although
I am human in my appearance, inside, God created me differently-
Losing myself inside the world of my thoughts and fantasies,
I shall approach you and we can dash through the forest together,
Never to see cars, or people fighting, and
Never to hear sirens, shouting or any city noises-
Let us run further and further away together, running until we find a place-
That place where silence rules except for the sounds of an autumn breeze
Rustling the leaves upon the trees and water rushing up and down a nearby creek-
Do not fear, we shall be safe, my heart beats with love of nature, not with rage-although
I still ask myself- what has this world outside of here come to?
Someplace in this course of life-something went astray - I shall never understand-
But it will not matter if we gallop lightly together and make our escape-
We have the woodlands, all of their magical splendor and
I have turned an imaginary key and locked the doors of misfortune behind us-
What matters is what exists inside our minds, souls and thoughts,
As we shall have one another,
Let the car engines roar and let millions of people jabber and shout-
I cannot hear them and I no longer fear them- I wish upon the stars above-
My world shall be what I make it, despite where I was born-
I sing with the birds and in my own way I fly with them-joyfully because
After much searching and wishing upon those stars- I have found a home…
poem by Claudia Krizay
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The first Snow for M 'lady Tara
Now almost imperceptibly the snow is falling steadily.
Unruffled by the slightest breeze to coat the branches of the trees
with layers of the purest white which sparkle in the pale moonlight.
A sight that’s pleasing to my eyes. Beneath the trees a blanket lies
as yet a flimsy covering but it is slowly thickening.
As falling snow relentlessly, continues drifting quietly.
The world reverts to black and white. It is a bitter winter’s night
I sit and watch from my window backlit by the firelights glow.
I’m thankful that I need not go outdoors amidst the falling snow.
I am content to stay inside I much prefer my fireside.
Although it’s beautiful to see the snow descending steadily.
I am too old to brave the cold I leave that to the young and bold.
Tomorrow with the morning sun the children will be having fun.
With cries of glee they’ll greet the snow and I will watch from my window.
The antics of small girls and boys as they engage in childish ploys.
Just as I did so long ago when I could enjoy the snow.
One benefit of being old I stay inside when it is cold.
My aching bones will not permit me to do much more than sit
and watch the children as they play and remember my young days.
18/08/2009
http: // blog.myspace.com.poeticpiers
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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