Old Town Types No. 4 - Our Mr. Trim
Mr Trim, commercial traveller, is in town again,
'Our Mr Trim,' you know, debonair and neat;
Landed here this morning on the ten-thirty train;
Can't you hear him laughing there, half down the street?
A bland man, a breezy man, a man to take the eye;
With his trolly load of sample tins, his big leather bags.
Men say he's popular; ladies say, 'Oo, my!'
John George Augustus Trim, traveller in bags.
Mr Trim, the traveller, oh, very well-dressed,
Very much the lah-de-dah; handsome, too, at that;
Flowing, braided frock-coat (material the best)
Pantaloons of shepherd's plaid, tall shiny hat;
Curly set of 'sideboards,' big silk moustache,
Diamond on finger and a rolling eye of brown.
'Oo, such a one!' the ladies say. 'Such a shameless mash,'
And hearts are all a-flutter when our Mr Trim's in town.
Mr Trim, the traveller, drinking with the boys,
'Heard the latest yarn, lads? Got it at the club.'
'He's such a card, that Mr trim! Listen to that noise!
Such a fav-rite with the fellers,' says the lady at the pub.
Mr Trim, with customers, 'putting out a line,'
Feeding them with flattery, indulging every whim.
'Oh, better say two dozen. Shall I book it for you? Fine . . .'
A useful fellow,' says The Firm - 'Our Mr Trim.'
Mr Trim, the traveller, married rather well
Squatter's daughter, up the north - heaps and heaps of cash.
Put it in a wholesale house, so the gossips tell;
Stuck it for a dozen years, and then went smash.
Mr Trim is knocking round somewhere still they say,
Frock coat and shepherd's plaids drooping, like his hope;
Slightly down-at-heel and bald, cuffs inclined to fray
John George Augustus Trim, traveller in soap.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Related quotes
It Happens in the B.R. Families
'Twas on the shores that round our coast
From Deal to Newport lie
That I roused from sleep in a huddled heap
An elderly wealthy guy.
His hair was graying, his hair was long,
And graying and long was he;
And I heard this grouch on the shore avouch,
In a singular jazzless key:
"Oh, I am a cook and a waitress trim
And a maid of the second floor,
And a strong chauffeur and a housekeeper,
And the man who tends the door!"
And he shook his fists and he tore his hair,
And he started to frisk and play,
Till I couldn't help thinking the man had been drinking,
So I said (in the Gilbert way):
"Oh, elderly man, I don't know much
Of the ways of societee,
But I'll eat my friend if I comprehend
However you can be
"At once a cook and a waitress trim
And the maid of the second floor,
And a strong chauffeur and a housekeeper,
And the man who tends the door."
Then he smooths his hair with a nervous air,
And a gulp in his throat he swallows,
And that elderly guy he then lets fly
Substantially as follows:
"We had a house down Newport way,
And we led a simple life;
There was only I," said the elderly guy,
And my daughter and my wife.
"And of course the cook and a waitress trim
And the maid of the second floor,
And a strong chauffeur and a housekeeper,
And the man who tends the door."
"One day the cook she up and left,
She up and left us flat.
She was getting a hundred and ten a mon-
Th, but she couldn't work for that.
"And the waitress trim was her bosom friend,
And she wouldn't stay no more;
And our strong chauffeur eloped with her
Who was the maid of the second floor.
"And we couldn't get no other help,
So I had to cook and wait.
It was quite absurd," wept the elderly bird.
"I deserve a better fate.
"And I drove the car and I made the beds
Till the housekeeper up and quit;
And the man at the door found that a bore,
Which is why I am, to wit:
"At once a cook and a waitress trim
And the maid of the second floor,
And a strong chauffeur and a housekeeper,
And the man who tends the door."
poem by Franklin P. Adams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Crooked Stick
First Traveller: What's that lying in the dust?
Second Traveller: A crooked stick.
First Traveller: What's it worth, if you can trust to arithmetic?
Second Traveller: Isn't this a riddle?
First Traveller: No, a trick.
Second Traveller:It's worthless, leave it where it lies.
First Traveller: Wait; count ten;
Rub a little dust upon your eyes;
Now, look again.
Second Traveller: Well, and what the devil is it, then?
First Traveller: It's the sort of crooked stick that shepherds know.
Second Traveller: Someone's loss!
First Traveller: Bend it, and you make of it a bow.
Break it, a cross.
Second Traveller: But it's all grown over with moss!
poem by Elinor Morton Wylie
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With Bells On
Ill be home with bells on
Ill be home with bells on
Trim the tree and wrap the presents turn the christmas music on
This christmas Ill be home with bells on
Ive traveled around this country crossed the waters deep and wide
Made lots of friends and memories brought joy to others lives
Its christmas time again another year has come and gone
And I cant keep from wonderin how the old folks are at home
Ill be home with bells on
Ill be home with bells on
Trim the tree and wrap the presents turn the christmas music on
This christmas Ill be home with bells on
When the snow is on the meadow and the sleigh bells jingle bright
And the kids are singing jingle bells around the christmas lights
As daddy stokes the fire and mama puts the turkey on
There aint nothing going to slow me down this christmas Ill be home
Ill be home with bells on
Ill be home with bells on
Trim the tree and wrap the presents turn the christmas music on
This christmas Ill be home with bells on
Repeat chorus
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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La Robe A Parasol
trim your dress, trim your dress
trim your dress in the parasol style
if you have hips, if you have hips
trim your dress in the parasol style
trim your dress, trim your dress
trim your dress in the parasol style
go to sleep, go to sleep
go to sleep in your baby's arms
balance yourself, balance yourself
balance yourself in your baby's arms
if you have hips, if you have hips
trim your dress in the parasol style
French version:
tailles ta robe, tailles ta robe,
tailles ta robe la mode a parasol
si t'as des hanches, si t'as des hanches,
tailles la robe la mode a parasol
tailles ta robe, mais tailles ta robe,
tailles ta robe la mode a parasol
sommeillez, sommeillez,
sommeillez dans les bras de ton gars
balancez, balancez,
balancez dans les bras de ton gars
si t'as des hanches, si t'as des hanches,
tailles ta robe la mode a parasol
sommeillez, sommeillez,
sommeillez dans les bras de ton gars
balancez, balancez,
balancez dans les bras de ton gars
tailles ta robe, Mais tailles ta robe,
tailles ta robe la mode a parasol
balancez, sommeillez
sommeillez dans les bras de ton gars
song performed by by 16 Horsepower
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Where sexy meets demure in a place called trim
In the seat opposite in the underground
in the off-peak afternoon,
neat shoes, nice legs, skirt just the exact right length
where demure meets sexy in a place called trim;
well-chosen outfit; wasn’t her face
vaguely familiar in some other context?
Had we met, in Tahiti, Cuba, Necker Island,
or on some other sandy shore?
Met, yet not spoken? She offered me no clue..
Ah yes – for several years,
come January grey but promise of a summer sun,
the TV infomercials fill our screens
with this year’s new holiday destinations
for the single girl who’s demure to sexy,
late thirties, but still trim.. writing her own script
but with all the real life edited out..
How often had we seen her on a sunny beach,
her swimsuit just where sexy meets demure in trim,
about to enter a blue blue sea
with no-one else about…
such the conventions of the travel film,
she too often in the shot…
or at the table, glowing in her evening outfit,
bronzed, relaxed; but still alone;
filling us in with details and the sights to see
over the lavish fruit cup on the table
before the smiling waiter brings the laden plate -
after the waterfall where we’d seen her laughing,
the market where she’d handled exotic fruit,
the boat ride, she in the stern, her hair blown back.. or
riding in safe open car through crowds of exotic natives?
did she choose her invisible cameraman on these trips?
Were they an item? Or did his compensation
begin with the local talent when he put his camera down?
Did she queue at airports, fluster over overcharging,
wait for days for thunderclouds to clear?
Arise dishevelled from an ill-advised fling with a local,
which remained unspoken as the background
to travel for the single girl?
Sitting there, ex-travel correspondent, professional,
dressed where sexy meets demure in trim,
the camera and the sound were off; she
did not meet my eyes; but if I’d had
a travel brochure with me, I could have played
a merry game with her across the way..
What a joyous disaster film her memories could have made,
what a chance the infomercials cannot take…
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Seamen Three
Seamen three! What men be ye?
Gotham's three wise men we be.
Whither in your bowl so free?
To rake the moon from out the sea.
The bowl goes trim. The moon doth shine.
And our ballast is old wine;
And your ballast is old wine.
Who art thou, so fast adrift?
I am he they call Old Care.
Here on board we will thee lift.
No: I may not enter there.
Wherefore so? 'Tis Jove's decree,
In a bowl Care may not be;
In a bowl Care may not be.
Fear ye not the waves that roll?
No: in charmed bowl we swim.
What the charm that floats the bowl?
Water may not pass the brim.
The bowl goes trim. The moon doth shine.
And our ballast is old wine;
And your ballast is old wine.
poem by Thomas Love Peacock
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Three Men of Gotham
SEAMEN three! What men be ye?
Gotham's three wise men we be.
Whither in your bowl so free?
To rake the moon from out the sea.
The bowl goes trim. The moon doth shine.
And our ballast is old wine.--
And your ballast is old wine.
Who art thou, so fast adrift?
I am he they call Old Care.
Here on board we will thee lift.
No: I may not enter there.
Wherefore so? 'Tis Jove's decree,
In a bowl Care may not be.--
In a bowl Care may not be.
Fear ye not the waves that roll?
No: in charmed bowl we swim.
What the charm that floats the bowl?
Water may not pass the brim.
The bowl goes trim. The moon doth shine.
And our ballast is old wine.--
And your ballast is old wine.
poem by Thomas Love Peacock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Traveller
Traveller
Where did you come from?
Where are you going?
What do you have in your pack?
Traveller
Who are you travelling with?
Who is your enemy?
Who is your ally?
Traveller
Are you not tired?
Are you not lonely?
Are you not giving up?
Traveller
Can you tell me
where the dangerous roads are?
Can you tell me
where the safe roads are?
Can you tell me
where the harvests are?
Can you tell me
where the springs are?
Traveller
Up to where
will you be travelling?
Untill when
will you be travelling?
For whom
are you travelling?
Traveller
Who are you? ...
Traveller
Will you take me...
with you?
poem by Marites C. Cayetano
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Work continuously to trim the White House staff from your first day to your last. All the pressures are to the contrary.
quote by Donald Rumsfeld
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm still very professional about my fitness. I stay in trim as I always did.
quote by Peter Shilton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Seventy-Four And Twenty
Here goes a man of seventy-four,
Who sees not what life means for him,
And here another in years a score
Who reads its very figure and trim.
The one who shall walk to-day with me
Is not the youth who gazes far,
But the breezy wight who cannot see
What Earth's ingrained conditions are.
poem by Thomas Hardy
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I have a tree man coming to trim the jacaranda in my front garden.
quote by Moon Unit Zappa
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Riddle/tree
to hug or climb to trim in time to use me
to build to grow or cut to animal I'm a home
poem by Justin Webster
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Female fires of wrath
Burning desires of body trim
Exercise extinguished
haiku by Ken e Hall
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Politicians trim and tack in their quest for power, but they do so in order to get the wind of votes in their sails.
quote by Ian Gilmour
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wake the power within thee slumbering, trim the plot that's in thy keeping, thou wilt bless the task when reaping sweet labour's prize.
quote by John Stuart Blackie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Amara
Shave her hair and trim her nails,
Because the winds are against her!
And like Amara on the love of my muse.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Traveller handwarm
the lamb in the blood a traveller moonlit
the lamb in the blood a traveller sunlit
the lamb in the womb the sky spelled cloud
the walker in the mud a traveller lightless
the walker in the mud a traveller darkless
the walker in the lamb the sky spelled step
a silent road in the traveller's book
a silent road the traveller took
a silent road after a storm
a traveller path traveller handwarm
poem by Miroslava Odalovic
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Fraser
Shave his hair and trim his nails,
For i am in the winter garden in search of my lover;
And Fraser came in to guide me on.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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