The Laughing Gnome
I was walking down the high street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man (hello)
In scarlet and grey, shuffling away (laughter)
Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly (oaah..)
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day (laughter)
Oh, I ought to report you to the gnome office
(gnome office)
Yes
(hahahahaha)
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you dont catch me
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
Said the laughing gnome
Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine (burp, pardon)
Then I put him on a train to eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag
(havent you got a light boy? )
Here, where do you come from?
(gnome-mans land, hahihihi)
Oh, really?
In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was fred
Hed bought him along to sing me a song
Right, lets hear it
Here, whats that clicking noise?
(thats fred, hes a metrognome, haha)
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you dont catch me
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
(own up, Im a gnome, aint I right, haha)
Havent you got an ome to go to?
(no, were gnomads)
Didnt they teach you to get your hair cut at school? you look like a rolling gnome.
(no, not at the london school of ecognomics)
Now theyre staying up the chimney
And were living on caviar and honey (hooray!)
Cause theyre earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
Its the-er (what? )
Its the gnome service of course
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you dont catch me
Ha ha ha, oh, dear me
(ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me)
(one more time, yeah)
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
No Returning Gnome.
Our garden gnome has vanished
He sat by the pond alone,
As a present he was given
(Or I should say 'adopted')
From another home,
We hated him on sight
But smiled gratefully
With thankful acceptance
For the monster that was he.
We are sure he sensed our attitude
Every time that we past by,
It once got to the stage
We were convinced a tear came to his eye.
In his gaudy gown he sat with his fishing rod
Even the other gnomes left him on his tod,
Our cat would screech at him
And then continue hissing
But that gnome took no notice
He just went on fishing.
One spooky night in Winter
He must have crept away
And struggled to the pond next door,
While we rejoice (and our cat)
He`s still there to this very day.
poem by Heather P Wilson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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OS X is sweet: it's simple and intuitive, and I think GNOME shares a lot of values with it.
quote by Nat Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In the GNOME project we tried to keep the platform language independent.
quote by Miguel de Icaza
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We cannot choose one desktop over the other - Gnome or KDE - because there's users for both code bases.
quote by Miguel de Icaza
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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They may call it a home page, but it's more like the gnome in somebody's front yard than the home itself.
quote by Tim Berners-Lee
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Drab Habitation of Whom?
893
Drab Habitation of Whom?
Tabernacle or Tomb—
Or Dome of Worm—
Or Porch of Gnome—
Or some Elf's Catacomb?
poem by Emily Dickinson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Angel Number 444
Number comes in on my phone—
But I don't know if it's from a gnome.
Maybe an angel for the numbers show
The number 444.
The time of the call was the numbers above
Maybe sent by an angel or a secret dove.
So it gave me hope that I am still here—
My angels are everywhere.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on August 31,2012
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Im A Rebel
They say I wont make it to the top of the hill
Wont take the fruit of a tree
And evrybody says Im out for the kill
Theyre all laughing at me
Theyre all laughing at me
Im a rebel - rebel - dont you just know it
Im a rebel - rebel
And theyre all laughing at me
They say Im a danger to the public and all
I only wish they would see
Im just a product of a screwed up world - but theyre all
Theyre all laughing at me
But theyre all laughing at me
Im a rebel - rebel - dont you just know it
Im a rebel - rebel - dont you just know it
Im a rebel - rebel
But theyre all laughing at me
Never ever wash my old blue jeans
And brush the smile off my face
But still Im a member of the
Human race - human race - human race - human race
Im a rebel - rebel - dont you just know it
Im a rebel - rebel - dont you just know it
Im a rebel - rebel - dont you just know it
Im a rebel - rebel
And theyre all laughing at me
Im a rebel
song performed by by U. D. O.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Not Funny
I thought I'd write a funny poem
with rhythm but no rhyming. Gnome.
And so I find myself writing
about nothing important. Sting.
I won't feel any guild, of course
'cause this poem is extra. Horse.
Oh well, I guess this is the end.
It turned out less than funny, friend.
(07/07/09)
poem by Andy Barrette
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Laughing
I'm laughing at your funny face
I'm laughing at this funny place
I'm laughing in my space
I'm laughing at a fast pace
I'm laughing and cannot stop
I'm laughing feeling the bop
I'm laughing at your top
I'm laughing with a cop
My stomach hurts
My cheeks are sore
Yet I want to laugh some more
Just want to laugh day and night
Want to laugh 'cause it feels alright
I'm laughing with Pat
I'm laughing at the cat
I'm laughing at the mat
I'm laughing as the cat sat
Giggle, Giggle, Giggle
Giggle, Giggle, Giggle
Giggle, Giggle.
©Copyright 2010 Willmington. All rights reserved
poem by Somniator Moon
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Loneliness
The hills are lonely,
The seas are alone,
Rivers flow without break,
They are the Nature's gnome.
They guard the Nature's solitude,
As if none can invade,
For the footprints of people,
Their beauty will fade.
I also adore this loneliness,
I cherish to be Her Guard,
To become alone in the multitude,
I want to stay unheard!
poem by Nilakshi Das
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Angel Number 444
Number comes in on my phone—
But I don't know if it's from a gnome.
Maybe an angel for the numbers show
The number 444.
The time of the call was the numbers above
Maybe sent by an angel or a secret dove.
So it gave me hope that I am still here—
My angels are everywhere.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on August 31,2012
www.suzae.com www.suechevalier.com
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Galilee
Some time ago he dumped his little flask,
companion for the hours of still nights,
she came from the great mist, to have him bask
in carnal lust and love, they flew like kites
and landed on the sill of Heaven's dome
where cotton candy lined the window panes,
much later she gave birth to a demented gnome
and he blew out their bright but disappointed brains.
God sat and watched, he even nodded now and then,
as if to say that matters were as they should be,
the Devil meanwhile knew that living things like mice and men
would never rate compassion from their God, in Galilee.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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The Old Laughing Lady
Dont call pretty peggy, she cant hear you no more
Dont leave no message round her back door.
They say the old laughing lady been here before
She dont keep time, she dont count score.
You cant have a cupboard if there aint no wall.
You got to move theres no time left to stall.
They say the old laughing lady dropped by to call
And when she leaves, she leaves nothing at all.
See the drunkard of the village falling on the street.
Cant tell his ankles from the rest of his feet.
He loves his old laughing lady cause her taste is so sweet.
But his laughing ladys loving aint the kind he can keep.
Theres a fever on the freeway, blacks out the night.
Theres a slipping on the stairway, just dont feel right
And theres a rumbling in the bedroom and a flashing of light
Theres the old laughing lady, everything is all right.
song performed by by Neil Young
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Small boy
(after Marietjie van Wyk)
Like wild roots growing everywhere
his curly blonde hair is muddled
with his heavenly blue eyes gleaming like stars
while he gambols continually
runs around like the wind,
and is even more naughty than a gnome,
wants to ride upon the two big dogs,
will in a short while receive some kisses and hugs
from the women of the family.
[Reference: "Klein seuntjie" (Small boy) by Marietjie van Wyk.]
poem by Gert Strydom
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Everybodys Laughing
Sammy lerner / ben oakland
Everybodys laughing
Yes everybodys laughing
They know that you and I are through
And everybodys laughing
I told the world you loved me
And bragged about it proudly
But since they know its over
Theyre laughing at me loudly.
People love to linger
So they can point a finger
And tear apart a gal whose heart
Was taken through the wringer
It we could start all over
The laugh might be on them
But meanwhile
Everybodys laughing
It we could start all over
The laugh might be on them
But meanwhile
Everybodys laughing
song performed by by Billie Holiday
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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‘O' Djinny Of Sweet Love
She hid in my mind,
My inner eyes can see.
O my eyes! You can't find
Always she is with me.
She assured and left,
To greet me at home,
Her promise I kept.
Guarding like a gnome.
I am not a love oozy
But I love her most,
I am not a love choosy
But I was her love host.
‘O' Djinny of sweet love!
A sweet song of my dream.
I lost my love dove,
Blinded with lost beam.
poem by Aftab Alam Khursheed
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Teeny Tiny Gnome
Kickin stones on an old dirt road
Feelin d-dejected and all alone
When I looked up ahead thought my mind Id blown
On a giant toadstool sat a teeny tiny gnome
He was all involved in a game of solitaire
Said hello with a smile just like I wasnt there
I kicked dirt some more
He said please dont start a fight.
Found a church key in his pocket, he opened up his pipe
He blew some silver circles,
Wound his fingers in his beard
And from that pipe came magic music
Like Id never heard
As the notes came floatin in I pricked up both my ears
I walked up to the drive-in, hadnt felt so starved in years
A rabbit waiter took my order and quickly disappeared
He said the partys over,
Please come back in a thousand years.
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cry Now Laugh Later
Cry now, laugh later.
Its time now to return the favor,
Cry now, laugh laugh later.
I dont know why Im laughing,
Im still wet from the rain,
I dont know why Im laughing,
Im still spotted from the stain.
I dont know why Im laughing,
Im burning from the flame,
I dont know why Im laughing,
Theres a storm running through my veins.
Cry now, laugh later,
Cry now, laugh later,
Sign out, Ill see you later,
Time now to return the favor.
You know I aint lying,
Its so unreal on the other side,
Ill tell you why Im crying,
Dads ten grand on a 4 wheel drive,
I thought they wanted money,
Two thieves as they were passing by,
They tied me up so lonely,
And took the car out from under my eyes.
Cry now, laugh later,
Cry now, Ill get you later,
Im just too tired now to return the favor,
Cry now laugh later.
I dont know why Im laughing,
Immigration breathing down my back,
Aint got no money for a pay off,
Stay in jail until they send me back,
I dont know why Im laughing,
Im still hurting from the pain,
A foreigner in this hell hole,
He aint never gunna touch me again.
Cry now, laugh later,
Its time now to return the favor,
Youe got me crying now,
Ill laugh at you later,
Time now to return the favor.
I dont know why Im laughing,
Im still wet from the rain,
I dont know why Im crying,
Im still spotted from the stain.
You know I aint lying,
Im burning burning up from the flame,
I dont know why Im laughing,
Ive got the storm running through my veins.
Cry now, laugh later,
Baby got to sign out return later,
Just too tired now to return the favor.
Cry now, laugh later...
song performed by by Grace Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sunny
In a rainforest lives a girl named 'Sunny'
Lives amongst trees of alder ‘n cedar
A beautiful child, bright and funny
From afar, many come to meet her
Where’s she from you may inquire?
Is she a fairy, gnome or elf?
No, she's a daughter of Mt Hood, born of fire
Should you find her, ask her yourself
What is destined for this wondrous child?
Will she be a healer, mystic, forest queen?
Nay, she’s far too humble and mild
The most perfect child the world’s ever seen
Should you walk Sunny’s forest one fine day
She just may find you and teach you to play!
poem by Ray Lucero
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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