Related quotes: Drivers are all idiots apart...

You Are Now Dead

Drivers are all idiots apart from me,
They shouldn't be allowed on the road,
When people see me I'm sure they'll agree,
With great skills I have been bestowed.

Yes I've had accidents but they're never my fault,
It's the idiot in the other car,
My knowledge of driving they should exalt,
I'm the superior driver by far.

Women as drivers are all second rate,
As are all those red blooded males,
Learner drivers I really hate,
They remind of slow crawling snails.

I drive through puddles at great speed,
Whenever I see someone walk by,
When you see me coming you better take heed,
With common decency I refuse to comply.

The Highway Code is a waste of space,
I can and do whatever I choose,
Want to keep up I will give you a race,
Though I can guarantee you will lose.

I use my mobile while driving fast,
To say it's not safe is a myth,
I can do anything with the skills I've amassed,
So you'd better all listen forthwith.

I can drink and drive without any ado,
So why do the police make a fuss,
These stupid laws only apply to you,
If you're that worried then jump on a bus.

By going through red lights there's trouble brewing,
So far I've never caused anyone harm,
I don't really care it's the law I'm screwing,
Despite the fact I know it causes alarm.

I went through a level crossing one night,
As the train passed I just didn't care,
I would never admit that it gave me a fright,
But of a presence I became aware.

He said you have been a bit of a fool,
You've now paid the ultimate price,
That train just crushed you, yes it was cruel,
At least your death was clear and concise.

I froze with fear and stood rooted to the spot,
I said you must be off of your head,
He said you're coming with me to a place that's hot,
Because of your arrogance,

‘' You Are Now Dead ‘'

poem by Bri Mar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes

I Hate Women Drivers!

I hate women drivers!
Why, can they not park?
Near the kerb?
Not anywhere
With no regards!

I hate women drivers!
Especially in the dark
They put on their blinkers
Because, they can not see.
The problem, is neither can we!

I hate women drivers!
How they love to drive fast
Only for school runs
Then they cruise all day long

I hate women drivers!
Do they believe?
That the traffic lights are stops
To make phone calls
For their daily needs

I hate women drivers!
Can they see there are lines in the road?
They signify lanes
You should only drive in one
Not in all 3!

I hate women drivers!
They stop at zebra crossings
Because they feel this is the time
To speak to their friends and catch up
What feels like an hour long!

I hate women drivers
Oh, I wish men
Will stop shouting
THIS AT ME!

poem by Sarwah OseiTutu
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Road Accidents

Why do we
Always blame
Our drivers
For our
Road accidents?

Yes, many of them
Are at fault -
Driving rashly
On forged licenses,
Talking incessantly,
Listening to blaring
Music that pierces -
Our ears deafeningly
Also,
Speeding fast to
Overtake others
Even if it entails
A straight road
To death ;)

But we pedestrians
Are no less careless
Flouting road rules
Crossing wherever possible
And while crossing
What do we do?

No, we don't look
Left or Right -
As we should do
To keep ourselves
Safe and aware of
Oncoming traffic.

But instead,
We keep texting
On our mobiles,
Saying ‘Hi's
And ‘Bye's to our
Friends aplenty…
Without realising
That one road crash
Can make us lose our
Limbs or deliver us
Straight to Lord Almighty ;)

poem by Aparna Chatterjee
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Don't Ever Drink And Drive

I never thought about accidents,
When I drove my souped up car,
I thought I was invincible,
Admired from afar.

There was no one else could touch me,
Those others could only dream.
When I had that drink in me,
My God was I was supreme,

I always took a drink or two,
Before getting behind the wheel,
Alcohol gives you confidence,
It enhances the way you feel.

I didn't need to drink too much,
Just enough to get me by,
Laws were made to be broken,
To me they don't apply.

Nobody would accompany me,
Which always made me think,
Are they scared because I drive so fast,
Or because I drive with drink.

I thought my friends admired me,
They'd say I was over zealous,
Their comments only made me think,
That they were all just jealous.

Little did I realise then,
My actions made them frown,
Instead of being their hero,
I was looked on as a clown.

Driving with a drink in me,
Had never held any fears,
I never gave it a second thought,
That it would all end in tears.

I drove down to the bar one night,
Then I sat and had a few,
I came out and jumped behind the wheel,
I'd show them what I could do.

As I sped along the highway,
Here was I the king,
I thought I was immortal,
What more could my life bring.

Just then there was a mighty crash,
What in Gods name had I done,
There was blood and gore everywhere,
This was no longer fun.

As I left my car I froze with fear,
There were bodies all around,
They were all lying lifeless,
Not one of them made a sound.

I knew I had to run away,
What a low down skunk, ,
I knew that I'd be sent to jail,
For driving whilst drunk.

Just then the police approached me,
I didn't know what to say,
They told me I'd caused total carnage,
For that there'd be a price to pay.

Tonight there'll be families grieving,
What you've done they won't forgive,
Because of your selfish actions,
Their kin no longer live.

Those parents have lost their children,
Yes it's solely down to me,
A thoughtless drunken lowlife,
So I beg you all to see.

Our actions have a consequence,
Some good while others bad,
To drive with just one drink in you,
Is totally and utterly mad.

Families are left distraught with grief,
Because I just didn't care,
I chose to drive while I was drunk,
Now they're left in despair.

Millions do it every day,
They don't give it a second thought,
It really only hits you,
'' WHEN '', not if you're caught.

I'm lucky, I'm in prison now,
Alive and in my bed,
My victims weren't so fortunate,
Five of them are dead.

It's too late to say I'm sorry now,
But while I'm still alive,
Please listen to my plea to you,

‘' Don't Ever Drink And Drive''.

poem by Bri Mar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Driving To Work (Revised)

Took a scenic route to look at jacarandas
in bloom - sadly their purple was stripped
by last night's rain, stuck behind a slow-
moving police van, no chance to play Grand
Prix again

Next time I'll keep to the highway, people
claim they see deer and giraffes in the
sanctuary next to the road, I would love
to see any but am always racing - it'd be
so such fun

Currently I have to watch other cars with
a hawk's eye after a crash yesterday, two
drivers not looking at a roundabout went
for the same spot, now I glare at drivers
with laser eyes

To make sure they are clear before I drive
off; I love my little Suzuki too much to take
any unwarranted risks' - speeding only on a
straight stretch of road is allowed in my
history book

Pretoria 17 October 2012

poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Drivin Thunder

By stephen stills & neil young
People put me down, say that Im a fool
But I got news for them
I aint never going back to driving school.
And I aint too good with numbers
And Ive just run out of fuel
Here comes another corner baby
Let me demonstrate my slide rule.
Drivin thunder, rollin down the highway
Just one way to go, just one way to go.
Just one way to go, hey hey, and thats my way.
I stopped into the courthouse
I had to pay some bills
Got talking with the judge
About the finer points of my driving skills.
He said son, you only drive that way
Tryin to get your thrills
But bear in mind your drivers license
Aint never been no license to kill.
Drivin thunder, rollin down the highway
Just one way to go, just one way to go.
Just one way to go, hey hey, and thats my way.
Driving school,
Slide rule,
Driving skills,
License to kill.
Drivin thunder, rollin down the highway
Just one way to go, just one way to go.
Just one way to go, hey hey, and thats my way.

song performed by by Neil Young
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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God Help You If You Drive

I've burgled, raped and pillaged,
But I find it really funny,
The police don't tend bother me,
It would cost them too much money.

I've committed countless other crimes,
But I know I won't be sought,
It means that they would have to work,
That's why I won't get caught.

The reason they won't come after me,
Is all to do with logistics,
Drivers are an easy touch,
We boost their crime statistics.

Leave your vehicle without road tax,
The police will be in a rush,
You'll be fined, they'll steal your car,
Saying sorry but we have to crush.

Overstay the parking lot,
You'll soon feel put upon,
When you come back to drive away,
You'll find your car has gone.

At first you'll think it's stolen,
It's nowhere to be found,
Then when you phone the police for help,
They'll say, ‘'it's in the pound''.

You will not be shown sympathy,
Of common sense there'll be a lack,
You'll have to pay big money,
If you want to get it back.

The fines can be worth more than the car,
They'll cost you a bloody mint,
If and when you claim it back,
Either way you'll end up ''skint''

It's akin to highway robbery,
But they think it's really deft,
In effect they steal your car,
But don't get charged with theft.

If I get caught committing murder,
My lawyer will be misleading,
But woe betide the drivers,
Whenever they're caught speeding.

They tell you you're on camera,
We've got you banged to rights,
If you try to argue back,
They'll say you went through red lights.

If you argue you are innocent,
You're well and truly sunk,
They'll say you smell of alcohol,
Therefore you must be drunk.

They'll treat you like a piece of dirt,
Their attitude will be abrupt,
Is it really any wonder,
We think they're all corrupt.

To the police you're an easy target,
Why look for the robbers stash,
It's easier to pick on drivers,
To them we're worth more cash.

Every single driving offence,
Carries a hefty fine,
You'll get less for armed robbery,
If you step out of line.

There is an easy answer,
Take it easy, don't make a fuss,
Get rid of the wretched car,
Then go jump on a bloody bus.

It's a really sad indictment,
But sadly it's a fact,
Commit any crime you want to,
But don't breach the road traffic act.

The weight of the law will come down on you,
You'll have a licence full of points,
In addition you'll get banned from driving,
You'd get less for selling joints.

Ask a policeman what his job is,
He'll say preventing and solving crime,
But you drivers are the easiest prey,
For real criminals we have no time.

As crime levels soar throughout the world,
Police targets must be met,
Motorists are the easy option,
It's you they'll be out to get.

They'll bully and intimidate you,
Their harassment will go far,
That henious crime you're responsible for,
Driving your beloved car.

So the moral of this story is,
That's why real criminals thrive,
Murder and rob just who you like,
but,

‘' God Help You If You Drive''.

poem by Bri Mar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You Drink, You Drive, You Spill

I say dont drink and drive
You might spill your drink
Before you get behind
That wheel, just stop & think
You can take you chances
But theres so much to lose
Another bumpy road,
Theres so much wasted booze
Im not so worried
About how many I kill
Im much more concerned
With how much beer I spill
35% of accidents
Are caused by pixilated
The other 65 are not
Alcohol related
What does this tell us
About the drunk drivers
They seem to have a
Better record than
The sober team

song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dont Drive Drunk

He and his wife have had problems
That hes played off like nothings wrong
til he comes home from work early
Just to find the girl is gone
Oh but he gets into the cupboard
Picks out that bottle of gin
Drinks like theres no tomorrow
And decides to take a spin
No dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk, no
Dont drive drunk
Mothers against drunk drivers are mad
Teenager at a live party
Says, give me one for the road
But hes already so inebriated
If you lit a smoke hed explode
But bartender says, I dont think so
Young one says, I can deal
Staggering out he says, check you all later
But I really dont think he will
No dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk, no
Dont drive drunk
Mothers against drunk drivers are mad
(repeat)
(background)
Dont drive drunk
D-d-d dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk
Hicup
(repeat)
Boy out with girl on their first date
Gets pulled over by the law
Officer says, hey cant you drive straight
Or have you been drinking alcohol?
Boy says, man are you crazy?
Cop says, hey then walk this line
But results from the breathalizer
Proves hes charged with d.u.i.
No dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk, no
Dont drive drunk
Mothers against drunk drivers are mad
(repeat)
(background)
Dont drive drunk
D-d-d dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk
Hicup
(repeat)

song performed by by Stevie Wonder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The 'Poem A Day' Project ~ Day 194

I don’t understand why all the fuss
I didn’t actually hit that bus
I think you just worry too much
When you hear me ride the clutch
It may seem fast from your seat
But in my car my powers complete
My style of driving please don’t question
I think red lights are just a suggestion
When playing chicken I never lose
I know the driving dont’s and do’s
Talk on the phone you’ll end up dead
So as I drive I text instead
I weave through traffic as I dash
Speed limits are for people who crash
They don’t apply to someone like me
Who controls their car perfectly
I’ve never had an accident on the roads
Though it is true I have seen loads

poem by Flying Lemming
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Male Testosterone Invincibility

myth postulates teenage males
perceive themselves as invincible
consider themselves bullet proof

personally speaking as a past male
teenage survivor that rode the wild side
walked limped away where others died

accidents over 100 kph on open roads
accidents where nine out of ten died
I walked away from more than nine alive

friends used to come up touch me for luck
riding at speed in fools gear not full gear
living legends survived others swiftly died

back in the day when perfection was hourly
the impossible of course took just a little longer
strange even to this day accidents hurt badly

were all in cities low speed safe road rules obeyed riding
where people in cars talking on their cell phones driving
wasted flesh driving straight into you swift escape sped

yes proud superman and I were to stop cars
with nothing else except our body on highway
but it is a bit much when car drives over foot

when your immobile at a red light waiting for green
but that was an Indonesian car driver in no rules Jakarta
where speaking on cell phone driving is driver’s norm

hate cell phone driver’s driving all over road if you like
but keep eyes in the back of your head survive you might
coz getting run over by a ton of metal is heavy duty hard

poem by Terence George Craddock
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I wonder what a bus ticket buys

The driver fights with a passenger
that she thinks sleeps at times
on the top level of the bus
and something must be wrong
in her life
as she climbs into a child
because he did not take a school bus

I wonder what
a bus ticket buys,
but it stays far better
to take a bus
than to have to walk a long distance.

I wonder
if it takes a special person
to drive a bus,
or what rights it gives
above that of other people
if you climb behind the steering
of a bus?

Somebody asks the white
bus driver lady
for what she is looking
this morning and suddenly
she’s silent
and I can ride in peace further
while she swallows her tongue.

Bus drivers that are rude
I have experience a lot of times
and it has happened
that one stares hateful
at me
because I am white
and wanted to cut
every ticket of the coupon.

Still I am thankful
to use a bus
when I need one
and that some drivers
makes it a pleasure
to drive with them.

poem by Gert Strydom
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Highway of life

From the moment you are born you are totally unaware
That you are driving on a highway of life, nobody knows where

On a highway of life there is no sign
To show who's responsible for its design

There are only two rules, that I enforce
You cannot stop, you cannot drive in reverse

Drinking and driving make your speed to increase
On the highway of life there is no police

Driving fast is fun and all
You shall never be late to your own funeral

I may have to correct what I said before
You are not a driver and therefore

As a passenger you have even less control
Less desire and insensitive to achieve my goal

To achieve first goal is to become aware
That the highway of life is a road to nowhere

A question like this would often arise
If I achieved the goal, where is my prize?

The goals are fuzzy, the end's not in sight
For as long as you can just enjoy the ride!

The next step is even more crazy
You have to rip the cord and make an exit

If you did well your homework
Accept my congratulations, I will stop the clock

You can go back, you can have some rest
Time no longer exist… You have passed the test!

poem by Slava Olchevski
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Our Forces Continue To Die

When politicians send us into fight,
We don't ask who's wrong or right,
But the reasons they will not recite,
It's time someone told us why.

We don't enjoy being killed,
But if that's what the Lord has willed,
In us it is well instilled,
We must never tell a lie.

Our powers that be should be the same,
Faceless scum without a name,
To them it's all just a game,
Death does not apply.

The very people who make the rules,
Are just a bunch of inept fools?
To fight a war we don't have the tools,
That does make our forces cry.

Afghanistan, Iraq what next Iran,
To thwart us they'll do all they can,
On fighting for others we need a ban,
For us the end is nigh.

Our politicians need to be made aware,
For our welfare the natives don't care,
The dangers from them we must beware,
Our kindness they just defy.

Israel, Palestine why don't we go in,
Are conflicts chosen with a board and a pin?
Regardless we will never win,
Futile wars we must all decry.

It's for our own they should show concern,
But our plight they refuse to discern,
When will these idiots ever learn?
Our enemies refuse to comply.

Those we train are attacking us,
But we're told not to make a fuss,
Through the rules of war they drive a bus,
Of our dead there's an endless supply.

Our political leaders need to see,
In our quest to set these people free,
We need those we're fighting to agree,
But they continue to defy.

We're fighting what is a losing battle,
You are treating us like herded cattle,
Whilst you lot endlessly prattle,

‘' Our Forces Continue To Die ‘'

poem by Bri Mar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The White Lady of Balete Drive

In my country there's a frightening story
Called the white lady of Balete Drive
And though the witnesses there have been many
The story is a legend that's still alive.

They say there was a beautiful young lady
Who went riding a taxi quite late
Alone in that taxi and the driver took a fancy
She met rape and murder as her fate.

Although there was no proof of a body
And the mystery had for years eluded ending,
The street Balete Drive became eerie
For a white lady there was appearing.

Some say she would flag down a taxi and ride
Through the same route, the drivers say.
But from the rearview mirror, there's no one inside
And the drivers, in horror, would run away.

Those who now ply this Balete Drive
Will speed through the street at night
They will not stop, for the dead or alive
And certainly not for that lady in white!

poem by Cynthia Buhain-Baello (17 February 2010)
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fear Of Flying

Boom, boom, boom, you can come into my room
Lights are on, lights are off
Everything will never stop
Bus or car or bike or train
I will drive insane your brain
1:
Same old rock and roll, come on lets go
Im afraid to lose control
Wont give up, wont let go
I got a fear of flying
Anywhere you wanna go
Fast or slow, just so you know
Im the one whos driving (driving)
I got a fear of flying (flying)
Me, me, me, thats the way its got to be
Im on top, Im on bottom
Youre in the middle, thats how I like it
On the roof, on the floor
You know what you came here for
Repeat 1
I got a fear of flying
I got a fear, I got a fear
I got a fear, I got a fear
Bye, bye, bye, call me if you change your mind
If Im too hot and you cant handle it
Keep going, change the channel
It could be so deelish
If you werent such a bitch
Repeat 1 x2
I got a fear of flying

song performed by by Vitamin C
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Street Signs

Street signs were invented
I believe
to confuse drivers
of which way to go.
When they were originally put up
they pointed in the right direction,
then some jolly jokers
turned them all around
when no one was looking
so they could have a laugh
at us drivers
driving around and around
in ever decreasing circles.

10 May 2008

poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Autocide

Young male did hundred and eighty k
straight into a bloody great tree
absurd police politics state
reckless drunken youthful spree.

Drink driving paranoia campaign
obsession it has to stop
official alcohol blame-all rhetoric
simple minded utter rot.

Accidents caused by slow. Old inadequate roads.
Allows no high density. Modern traffic flows.
Late aggressive drivers. Ignore moral courtesy codes.
Slippery wet conditions. Prove inexperience fatally blows.

Didn’t panic sweating swerve
didn’t final seconds blindly brake
didn’t even see it theory
momentarily asleep awoke too late?

Reckless speed kills charade
allows no emergency braking time
one second mistake mimed
result its early burial funeral time.

Truth humanities hurt wasn’t really
murder done dead by a tree.
Chill childhood future-less agony
now memory past pain flows free.

Only genuine concern grass root solutions
minimize danger of break out prairie fire.
Only politically irresponsible resolutions
underfunding ploys make sham policy a liar.

And thus some youth of righteous country
are sold into an early grave as paid bounty.

Speed kills! So does cancer!
Ride fast! Die young!
Make a good looking corpse!

poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Once, I took a taxi. I hate those limousines. They stink and their drivers have been driving dead people to the cemeteries.

quote by Klaus Kinski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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