Looking back
Looking back to my early years.
Now I can see where the hurt began.
Why me though why me?
Looking back scares me.
Looking foward does the same.
Becuase all the pain of the years never goes away.
Its stuck in my heart,
like a tiger gets its prey.
Hate and anger floods in.
As I hate you all all the more.
Why did you rape me I ask?
But all you would do is laugh.
I can't understand how you could do that to a person.
But I feel the pain of what you did.
The pain just never seems to go.
Looking back is hard.
Looking foward is harder.
Becuase of what you did.
This is partly why I try to kill myself everyday.
But one thing remains easy.
And that is hating you
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Monster
I think to myself all the time why me?
What did I ever do?
Why do men always want to hurt me.
The breaking entrance.
The pain of the force.
The child has to give.
Becuase the adult wants it.
You are a monster.
But thats be polite.
How could you do such a thing?
I was 5 years old.
After you more came.
Abusing and rapeing me.
All of you left within the ruins of you game.
I hate you all.
I still remember.
I feel dirty.
I still feel the paIn of you inside me
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Casualty of abuse
I was a casualty of abuse.
I was a victim of rape.
I was hurt more than once.
God I hate you I hate you all.
All you said is it was a game.
The only one who had the fun was you.
I know what its like to hate.
Becuase I sure as hell hate you.
I try not to be that casualty any more.
Only try as I might.
Defeated I fall.
Its hard to forget and move on.
When justice was not done.
When I see and hear you all the time.
I will forever remain a casualty of abuse.
Like a casualty of war.
I will always be broken.
And pain will always engulf my hart.
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Away in a bed
Away in the bed you did have.
The way was to rape me.
As I cried in pain.
You didn't care.
You just carried on.
You hurt me.
A way in a bed.
You were not a man.
You are a demon.
You are evil.
And I hate you.
To day I still suffer.
From what you did to me.
And I hate you.
I hope you can live with yourself.
Becuase I can not live with what you did to me.
I hope you rot in hell.
And I hate you
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Childhood lost
Lost was my childhood.
Taken from around me from bastards who hurt me.
They were happy playing their games.
Maybe becuase it gave them fame.
All it gave me was pain.
My childhood was lost.
It was taken from me by bastards like you.
As A little girl I was always angry the teachers would say.
If only they knew the truth.
If only they knew why I had so much anger.
It was becuase my childhood was being taken from me.
I never could trust people well after that 9 times.
I hate all of you 5 bastards.
You stole my childhood.
Now later on as I grow older.
It affects me still.
I'm still angry.
My anger has never gone away.
All becuase my childhood was lost too you
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Don't cry for me mum
The time has come for me to say goodbye to you.
I want to stay with you forever mum but I can not do so.
Becuase a distant voice told me it was time to go back home.
My painful crap life with relife is to end.
For there aint nothing left for me now.
I know you'll never accept my last jorney.
But it is with peace that I go.
But where ever I am.
No that I never ever meant to cuase you pain.
If you want to see me look to the sky.
I'll be the shiny star.
I no it will be hard for you but your life must go on.
Becuase you had given me everything that you ever had.
Yopu tried your best to be me back from the brink.
But all your actions tryed were no use.
But my pain won against your wish and love.
Now you dont cry for me.
Life your life happily.
I'll be waiting for you on the otherside.
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Bastards srtike
Bastards have already stuck their strike.
All ready had the forced entery.
In my head they stay no to exit.
I felt pain that day.
I had the pain.
Forcible sex.
Hurt through and through.
Now I know what hate is.
Becuase hate is all I feel for you.
Bastards strike on the weak.
The speak threats with their beak.
They had thier nasty streak.
Tuants and threats they speak.
Bastards raped me and I hate them.
Theyre are scum.
Evil vile scum.
And rotten to the core.
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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I Wish I Hated You
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! !
I’M CRYING OUT – CAN’T YOU HEAR ME? ! ? !
MY HEART ISN’T BROKEN… IT’S SHATTERED
YOU TOOK MY HEART AND WALKED ALL OVER IT
WITH YOUR COLD AND INCONSIDERATE WAYS
NOW, I DARE YOU – TRY TO BREAK MY HEART AGAIN
WITH YOUR SELFISH AND IMMATURE BEHAVIOR
TRY TO TEAR ME APART AGAIN, I DARE YOU
STOMP ALL OVER MY VERY EXISTANCE
YOU DID IT BEFORE. JUST DO IT AGAIN YOU TWO-FACED BOY
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU
THESE WORDS I SO WISH I COULD SAY TO YOUR FACE
SO YOU COULD SEE THE WRECK YOU CAUSED
BUT THERE YOU GO… RIGHT PAST ME
I’M A PERSON! ! NOT A THING YOU CAN TOSS AWAY! !
YOU’RE BREAKING ME APART – STOP IT!
STOP TREATING ME LIKE THIS
COMING BACK RIGHT WHEN I’M ABOUT TO GET OVER YOU
…THEN LEAVING AGAIN! ! !
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU
YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE AND TOOK MY HOPE
SMASHED MY DREAMS
WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME? ! ? !
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU
I HATE YOUR FACE THAT LURED ME IN
I HATE YOUR VOICE THAT TOLD ME SUCH LIES
I HATE YOUR HEIGHT THAT TOWERS OVER ME MAKING ME A LESSER PERSON
AND MOST OF ALL, I HATE YOUR EYES THAT LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME
EACH TIME I COME UP TO YOU
I HATE YOUR HEARING THAT CAN’T SEEM TO HEAR ME WHEN I CALL OUT TO YOU
I HATE YOUR BRAIN THAT CAN’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THE PAIN I’M IN
I HATE YOUR REVOLTING THOUGHT PROCESS THAT REFUSES TO BELIEVE
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU
I WOULD SAY I HATE YOU, BUT I THINK WE BOTH KNOW THAT IT’S NOT TRUE
I HATE THE WAY NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, I’LL STILL BE BY YOUR SIDE
LOYAL AND SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN
poem by Nikki Taboada
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I Hate That I Hate
I hate the way you treat me
I hate that everything is how you want it to be
I hate all your lies and silly games
I hate how you make them all the same
I hate that I feel this way
I hate that I can't take the pain away
I hate that I'm your back bone
I hate being in the same zone
I hate the way you make me feel
I hate the pain won't heal
I hate that you are too blind to see
I hate that I want to leave
I hate not wanting to be around
I hate your mouth that produces bad sounds
I hate a lot of other things too
But I hate that you make me hate you
poem by Triauna Hall
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A life time of hate
I've got a life time of hate.
It's wedged firmly on my shoulders.
And it as hard as boulders.
I can not shift this life time of hate.
I hate becuase they abused me.
I hate becuase they raped me.
I hate the mess it's left me in.
I'm locked up inside like a tin.
I only wish I could put it in the bin.
As the hate takes over.
Making my angry.
I only have one legacy to leave behind.
A life time of hate
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Cut
With every cut comes a scar...
A reminder of the truth...
A reminder of the pain you once felt...
How can this heart still beat after everything?
How can these tears fall yet again?
How can i breathe?
Laugh?
Think?
Tho the rythm of my heart is out of tune, it still strives for happiness...
Everyday my heart breaks becuase of you...
You are the only person i could ever hate...
Who i could ever love...
My heart yerns for your love, for your sweet touch and gentle lips...
The only reason im still here...
But in the end?
I am nothing.
I am worthless.
I am and always will be just a passing glance throughout your life...
The pain you cause slowly starts to fade away...
Everything quiet and numb...
Like a small brown leaf...
Thin,
Brittle,
Lifeless...
I was gone.
poem by Adela Myers
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Just Wanting To Be Understood
No one understands
No one comprehends the pain I feel
No one cares
What happens to me
No one cares
How I end up
Anger running so deep inside
I've been hurt on too many times
Pain strikes with every thought
Of how life used to be
Friends and loved ones lost
Relationships once had ignited
Everything in life killed
By one feeling
ANGER
Pain streaks through my veins
As I try to feel what I used to
As I try to imagine
The good old days
When everything was better
When someone actually cared
The pain never leaves
From way back when
Images stuck in my head
Thoughts never said
Life sinks into a hole
No one notices what happened
Disappeared and never returned
Best friends never again
More pain hits
Nothing ever the same
Anger so deep you want to kill
Given the chance you probably will
Hatred, pain, past memories relived
Wondering what is in store
How you hate the life you live
Want to hide
And never return
Die and never be seen
Live a different life than you lead
Get out and roam
You've tried before
Never quite got out that door
Always one more thing to do
Never time for just you
No one ever seems to care
Life was better somewhere else
Death seems so much better
But deep down inside
You know it's no the answer
Get out you scream
To your pain
Leave forever
And come not again
Hatred is the cause of this all
Nothing understood by those who care
They don't seem to know you're there
They hear but don't understand
They see but don't comprehend
Life so simple never repaired
Everything seems so useless there
Killing all around us
Between ourselves
Wanting to get out
Of this world we live
Death seems the answer
Yet never said
Tried so hard but never won
Anger towards ones your supposed to love
No more trust
To him you give
Hurt you one to many times
Permanent was the pain
Bruises from his anger you recieve
More anger you then get
Killing not the answer here
Wishing it was
So you could be free
One more freedom you would get
If he weren't around to hit
Anger can't be released anymore
Trouble is caused to much
Always more pain from it
What to do you do not know
Leaving for good would be so great
Getting out of something so bad
Worse than thousand about to die
poem by Dani Sears
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Tried To Shower Away This Pain
I try to shower away this pain
But it comes right back to me
Hits me as I'm through
Then I'm filled with pain all over again
Sighing cause I have nothing to be happy about
Thought I could shower away this pain
But my thoughts just got washed down the drain
Now I realize I'm forced to stick with this pain for life
Wanting the pain to just go away
But I know that will never happen
Stuck here all alone
Wishing that someone would just kill this pain
Take it away from me for good
Cause I've tried everything to rid this pain and misery
And nothing works
Thought I could just shower this pain away
But that didn't even work
Thought I could drown out the pain
But now I'm stuck here writing away this pain
Hoping that it will relieve a part of this misery
Cause its hard for me not to want to die
Showering this pain didn't work
It stuck back to me like a magnet
I really don't want to die
But this pain is forcing me otherwise
January 1,2008
made up (kinda)
poem by Espn Chick
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Pain in my mind
Pain in my mind
Pain is what I go through,
Everyday
This pain fills me
Pain stuffed inside of me
Pain of stress on my life
You can feel the pain in my heart
I hide the pain behind the smile
I see myself in the past and I,
Dont want to return
I never knew how much pain,
cant hurt.
The memories of pain live,
on and on,
So much sadness in me
Years have passed,
Life begins again.
poem by Maria Luisa Taylor
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Locked Inside Her Pain
Living day to day in severe pain,
overwhelming is her pain today,
can't walk too good, for her legs hurt so.
Kind and gentle she is, through all of her pain,
even on her worst days, she always has a smile
and a kind word for those who may pass by her way.
Day after day I watch her in pain
and pray there was something I could do.
Intensely wanting to just be able to take all her pain away,
nothing I can do to help her with it.
Sweet and loving she is, her pain is sometimes unbearable.
Intense pain is what she lives with everyday.
Doctors won't give her anything for fear she may be allergic.
Each and everyday her pain becomes worse.
Hating myself because there is nothing I can do to help her,
hoping that someday they will find a cure for Fibromyalgia and tendontis,
realizing that she may never ever be pain free.
Patiently, she tries to do the things she used to do
but, once again her pain stops her from doing them.
Inside her pain she cries, for relief of her pain or maybe a cure
never getting the relief she so deserves, or wants.
Dear Lord, please take my mom's pain away,
so she will no longer be locked inside her pain
and give her the life she used to know back,
so that she can live her life a normal person without pain,
and God, please be with her every day and night
and keep her safe and warm.
poem by Melissia Ann Senter
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Forget Me
Which lies are you talking about?
Pain, which pain?
Scars, you have given me although I always have let them heal
You think I am bad, okay fine, your wish
If I tell the truth, I have never lied to you
Since, you already know everything about me
Stop blaming me for the things which I did not ever do.
Do not ever keep me in your heart since you never have understood me
No, only thing which I feel now is your hate
The hate which you always have had for me
Do one more thing, bring a sharp knife and stab me even harder
Forget me forever, since you can never understand my love for you.
poem by Rohit Sapra
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R.I.P. CaRly FOREVER
you were my friend but most of all the sister i never had and now your gone.
these tears i shed will never go away
i want her back give her back to me, you cant have her she is mine give her back.
I will do anything to have her back i will give you me if you please give her back to me please please answer my prayers.
please answer my prayers and give her back.
the tears that fall, will remind me of that pain
the pain of loss is what i speak
the pain that made me fall to my knees
this pain is what i so despise but,
what can i do but fall and cry
will this pain ever end
please god help me i beg you take this pain away.
I beg you god give her back to me i need her without her i am destroyed.
i loss my way,
to this never ending pain
i loss reason
to why i should go on
the answers i come to will forever haunt
my dreams
this pain of loss
is what truly makes me scream
this yelling person who is me
will forever continue to cry and scream
thats why i hate to have these tears fall from my eyes
this nightmare of falling tears is what i really despise.
i cant believe your gone its so hard to believe
Their is not a day i do not misss you so much.
I should have died that day not you gurl.
now that your gone i will never in my life be the same.
those guys will forever rot in prison for what they did to you.
That girl deserved to die for what she did to you.
But no matter what happens you will never come back.
I will never in my life forgive myself for what happened i didn't get their in time.
I killed her cause she did not do anything for you and didn't save you.
But thinking now so many years later your in a better place but will forever and ever misssssssssssssssssssssssss you and anybody that bothers you will die. misssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss you always and love you forever gurl.
poem by Hadyn Rodriguez
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Isn't this Heart Broken Enough?
Why must you tease me
Why must you hate me
Isn’t this heart broken enough
Why do you hate me
Make me take all your anger
Isn’t this heart broken enough
Why do kiss me
If your love is untrue
Isn’t this heart broken enough
Why did you pull the trigger
When you knew I was there
Why do you make me feel the pain
Of you not being there
Take all my anger
And all my pain
Turn it into
something I can gain
Now it’s the pain of a broken heart
Now it’s the pain of an unrequited love
Its pain of a heart shrouded in darkness
It’s the pain of this heart
It’s the pain in my heart
poem by Michelle Dickson
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I still feel your touch
I can still fell your touch.
Fell you on top of me.
As you force your way in.
The stabbing pain betwenn my legs.
The stinging pain.
As I cryed in pain.
I still have the tears stain.
As I cryed out in pain.
All you could do was laugh.
It was like a you had a twisted kick.
I still fell you touch years later.
I still feel the stabbing pain.
The pain of forced entry.
The stabs of penatration.
The thing you did.
Its called rape and abuse.
You hurt me
You cuased me pain.
And my life it has left a stain
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Goddess of Pain
Oh Goddess
Of Pain
What will I do
Without you
Everyday
You bless me
With the feeling of pain
You make me hurt
Every single day
Do you like to
Hurt me so much
With all the pain
You give me
You tear my heart
Apart so much
I cant stand it
I try to stitch it
Back together
But you dont want
That to happen
So you just tear open
My new heart
Sometimes I wonder
If what you give me
Is not a gift
I wonder
If it is
A curse
That you pledge on me
I dont know
What I shall do
With you watching me
Every single day
Making my life
Miserable then ever
Some pain is good
But I have one little question
Just for you
Will you please
Let up a little bit
From all the pain you give me
I cant take it
Anymore
So please
Just think about it
And hopefully
Youll understand
I am just human
That is not the strongest
In the world
So like I said
Please
Just think about it
I know I will
Be thinking about it
Hoping that you understand
Because it hurts so much
I cry myself
To sleep every night
Wanting the pain to go away
I feel very tired
Right now
So I am going to go
And cry myself to sleep
Wanting you
The Goddess of Pain
To take away
All the pain
You have given me
From day after day
poem by Allison Unknown
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Why I Hate You.
i hate you because your mean,
i hate you because you think im dumb.
i hate you because youve seen,
everything not to be saw.
i hate you because your such a bum.
i hate you because your such a jerk.
and most of all,
i hate you because i dont hate you at all.
not a little,
not alot.
i hate you becuase you stole my heart.
poem by Tamera Swafford
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