Command of the Language
I have the command of the language
When it comes to frisky sex and
Mathematics,
For I adore every conic section
Of your perfectly proportioned
Surface area-
From your sumptuous cones
To your magnificent ellipses,
And the congruent circles
Of your areolas-
Hidden by the hyperbolic veneer
Of your bra and your symmetric
G-string,
Don't get me wrong, for I've
Studied the subtle dimensions
Of your curvature,
And went off on many a tangent,
Deriving your continuous
Sexual functions,
That led me to your delta of Venus,
As my y changed with your x,
In the act of orgasmic
Integration-
Since then I've learned
That pi is truly a transcendental
Number,
That no rational number can
Approximate,
And you are boundless
In your beauty,
Opening up my mind
To infinite possibilities.
January 12,2008
poem by Alexander Shaumyan

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Related quotes
Calculus
Zero divided by one is zero,
but it bothered me
from my first conception
of mathematics
that one cannot
be divided by zero
and that it is incalculable.
When I found Calculus
new horizons
opened for me
and I saw mathematics
in another light
and I could find
how one approaches zero
and suddenly
Algebra became clearer.
At first the Calculus dragon
tried to incinerate me
and lengths, volumes and areas
looked like madness to me,
but later I understood the functions
and derivatives
and exponents
and logarithmic functions
became clear to me.
I understood that real numbers
have no greatest
or smallest number
and that there’s always
a larger number
that goes on infinitely.
Limits, gradients and curves,
maximum and minimum values
of functions
and rates of change
and integration and differentiation
made that I
could write my own formulas
and could solve problems
that where unsolvable before
and the Calculus dragon
protected me
and became my pet.
poem by Gert Strydom

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Divorced from Dumb Reality - Number Lesson on Numb Pointless Love
DIVORCED FROM DUMB REALITY
My fun begun with number one,
swore to be true to number two,
happy to be with number three,
then to adore fair number four.
No more alive is number five,
mix stones and sticks Styx number six,
who’s in heaven, number seven?
its now too late for number eight.
Another line for number nine,
begin again with number ten.
13 May 1982 revised 20 January 2009
robi03_0199_robi03_0000 WXX_LXX
for previous version entitled Numbers see below
Numbers
My fun begun with number one,
swore to be true to number two,
happy to be with number three,
then to adore sweet number four.
No more alive is number five,
beset by tics was number six,
she’s in heaven, number seven,
its now too late for number eight.
Another line for number nine,
begin again for number ten.
13 May 1982
poem by Jonathan Robin

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Zero Covers All
Lately I realize.
I am a numb number,
living through life.
First child.
Date of birth.
Sixth star of twenty-seven.
Scorpio numbers six of twelve.
Studied tenth class,
Then 5-year’s graduation,
Every class I had a scroll number.
Exams written on id number.
Studied law.
Head churning three years,
with numbered sections.
Penal code, constitution.
Clauses of law in numbered sects.
Registered in bar council.
Legal practice.
Case files are numbered.
Subsequently I got,
House number, door number.
Phone number.
Mobile number.
Account numbers.
Credit card number.
Pan card number,
Folio numbers,
Car number,
License number,
Policy number,
Health card number,
Election card number,
Passport number,
Ration card number,
Ultimately, when you put me in morgue,
allotted me a number.
Which, I do no know.
However, I know a number.
I am a big zero.
It covers all my life
Yes, we discovered zero.
What a relief?
Does it not cover all?
fulfill all values!
By the way your number please?
X number or N number?
Infinite numbers.
________________
poem by Satheesan Rangorath

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Lines consist of an infinite number of points; planes an infinite number of lines; volumes an infinite number of planes, hypervolumes an infinite number of volumes... No, this, this more geometrico, is definitely not the best way to begin my tale. Affirming a fantastic tale's truth is now a story-telling convention; mine, though, is true.
Jorge Luis Borges in The Book of Sand (1975)

Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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Headache Makers
Why is it that headache makers,
Are the first to participate in the generating...
Of annoyances wished to inflict,
And knowing this?
Uncomfortable with social etiquette,
Headache makers have their own priority list.
And it is studied to make sure,
Those in their presence know they exist!
Number 1...Be the center of attention.
Number 2...Name dropp and embellish.
Number 3...Speak loudly and laugh at own jokes told.
Number 4...Disrespect with opinions not solicited.
Number 5...Create nicknames to call others when socializing.
Number 6...Pry and be a nuisance.
Number 7...Tell everyone present what is wrong with 'them'.
Number 8...Interrupt and interfere with other conversations.
Number 9...Suggest to host and/or hostess what needs to be done.
Number 10..Pretend to be something that one isn't.
Why is it that headache makers,
Are the first to participate in the generating...
Of annoyances wished to inflict,
And knowing this?
As they wonder why,
Very few people wish...
To be in their presence again,
Consciously!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Superstar
Superstar (Interlude)"
This goes out to you, you, my number one (number one, number one)
I won't stop until I see you, suga
You know who you are
This is for my number one, number one (I see you)
So many shows, swear wherever I go I'm gonna keep on lookin'
Lookin' for my number one, number one (Oh)
This goes out to you baby
Wherever you are (my only one)
Just know that you're mine (number one, number one)
Are you there?
I can't hear you
On the road doin' shows
Girl I can't get you off my mind
All around the world
So many faces
All these places
Girl I just need one
My number one
This is for you, you, my number one
[Crowd chanting]
Usher! Usher! Usher!
song performed by by Usher

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Knowing you might some day come
Knowing you might some day come
and how unprepared I’ve always
been
like Mr. Sloppy
in Charles Dickens’
our Mutual Friend
I made a list:
not meat, vegetables, beer and pudding
but number l, warmth.
number 2, warmth.
number 3, warmth.
number 4, a good snuggler.
number 5, someone who sings
while he/she works.
number 6, a dancer.
number 7, someone who grows & is
intrigued by
the mind. And
by the spirit too.
Number 7, someone who is loved
by animals; and loves
them back without
a thought.
number 8, someone who smells
delicious.
number 9, someone whose anger
lasts no longer than mine.
number 10, someone who
stands beside me. behind me. If necessary
in front of me.
number 11, someone who
is a passable cook.
number 12, Someone who laughs
a lot, thinks I have a fine
sense
of humor
& has friends.
number 13, someone who can be
original in dress:
stylish
warlock –In silver, lapis
& black – to my witch.
poem by Alice Walker

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Everyone knows what a curve is, until he has studied enough mathematics to become confused through the countless number of possible exceptions.
quote by Felix Klein

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Number One Through Five
Making adjustments in one's life,
To accomodate the needs for another...
Who bothers not to call or show,
To let the adjustment maker know...
Things have changed.
And time was not there,
To permit one to become aware of it!
Needs only to happen just once!
To allow this event to re-occur,
AND 'then' complain?
Should say five words,
That has particular meaning...
To the one who believes,
Patience is a virtue.
NOT!
Number one...'Yes'
Number two... 'I'
Number three..'Am'
Number four... 'A'
Number five... 'Fool'
The repeating of this,
Should do something to assist in the 'awakening'.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Unwanted Number
You should hear the things that they say about me
Theyre saying shes no better than she needed to be
They dont know that he was kind and strong and tender
And now Ill never be another unwanted number
Unwanted number
How can I tell them?
How can I express?
How it felt to step out of this life and into his embrace
How can I tell them?
How can I explain?
All the love that I never had I found in him
There may be a stain on the family name
And if my father was here I think I know who hed blame
Mama says that he just doesnt care to remember
And all he thinks of me is another unwanted number
Unwanted number
(how can I tell her?
How can I express?
How it felt when he came to my room
And helped me to undress
What can she tell me?
How can I believe
That she really didnt hear me cry
When he wouldnt leave? )
Theres a local game where they whisper my shame
They say he gave her his child
He wouldnt give her his name
They will torture me from january till september
And soon theres going to be another unwanted number
Unwanted number
Unwanted number
And I will give my love to another unwanted number
Unwanted number
Unwanted number
song performed by by Elvis Costello

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Know My Name
You know my name
Look up the number
You know my name
Look up the number
You you know you know my name
You you know you know my name
Good evening and welcome to slaggers
Featuring denis o'bell
Come on ringo, let's hear it for denis
Good evening
You know my name
Better look up the number
You know my name
(that's right) look up the number
You you know you know my name
You you know you know my name
You know my name
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Look up my number
You know my name
That's right look up the number
Oh you know you know
You know my name you know you know you know my name.
Huh huh huh huh
You know my name
Ba ba ba pum
Look up the number
You know my name
Look up the number
You-a you know you know my name
Baby you-a you know you know my name
You know my name you know you know you know my name
Go on denis, let's hear it for denis o'bell
You know my name you know you know you know you know you know my name
Prrr you know my name and the number
You know my name and the number you know you know my name
Look up me number
You know my number three you know my number two
You know my number three you know my number four
You know my name you know number too
You know my name you know my number
What's up with you?
You know my name
That's right
Yeah.
song performed by by Beatles

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Number
I have no number
No number is related to me
Do not show me number
I have not missed any
There is no magic square
To fill the number
There is no number
I have also not trumpet
For number.
poem by Gajanan Mishra

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Think of a number
Think of a number, from 1 to 10
(Haven't played this since you know when)
Double it, add..? No, start again.
Think of another, from 2 to 9
(Were these the numbers we'd combine?)
No, that's not right - wrong line!
Think of a number, from 3 to 8
(Was what I heard from my schoolmate?)
No, come on John now, concentrate.
Think of another, from 4 to 7
(I know, if added, it's 11
And - 'all good children go to heaven')
Think of a number, from 5 to 6
(And here I'm getting in a fix)
I'm bad at these arithmetics.
Let's try again, from 6 to 5
(For this I bet we had to strive)
It's like the last - let's not revive.
Think of a number, from 7 to 4
(This game could run forevermore)
I'm lost, I've now forgot the score.
Think of another, from 8 to 3
No matter what the answer be
I'm sure it's baffling you and me.
Think of a number, from 9 to 2
Have you really any clue
What this riddle's meant to do?
Think of a number, from 1 to 10
No! ...
I can't go through all that again!
(Written Oct 2012)
poem by John Carter Brown

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We live on a hunk of rock and metal that circles a humdrum star that is one of 400 billion other stars that make up the Milky Way Galaxy which is one of billions of other galaxies which make up a universe which may be one of a very large number, perhaps an infinite number, of other universes. That is a perspective on human life and our culture that is well worth pondering.
quote by Carl Sagan

Submitted by Catalin Popescu
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Bonus Track
I hope you enjoyed your ride on the terror wheel. but it isnt over
Just yet. we have a phone number for you to call to hear the name
Of the third jokers card. the area code is 1-313, and for the rest
Of it, listen to the rhymes and match the numbers that go with them.
Ahahahahaha!!!
Call 1-313...
Call 1-313...
Call 1-313...
Call 1-313...
The rest
Unlock the door, and whats in store
Will be with you forever more
The number is (four)
Ive come to relate I never saw the gate
All I saw was hate
So the number is (eight)
Everywhere I go theres a juggalo
And hes my hero
The number is (zero)
The juggalos key will forever be
Hand in hand with me
The number is (three)
The essence of time, yours was mine
Inside the rhyme you will find
The number (nine)
The moon and the sun, the sword and the gun
Is what Ive become
Now the number is (one)
Now I will go a carnival show
Figure out the rhymes and youll know
The last number (zero)
(phone number: 1-313-480-3910)
Call to reveal the third jokers card
Call to reveal the third jokers card
song performed by by Insane Clown Posse

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love U Better
[Intro: Marc Dorsey]
This is for my number one
This is for my number one
This is for my number one
True baby for I adore
[Verse 1]
This is hard to say
I wanna make sure I go about this in the right way
Cuz lately I been busy a lot
And I know you don't feel appreciated and what not
I used to tell you that you're hair looked fly
Kiss you slow and stare in your eyes
Now I talk real foul and slick
Every other sentence is
song performed by by LL Cool J from 10

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love U Better
[Intro: Marc Dorsey]
This is for my number one
This is for my number one
This is for my number one
True baby for I adore
[Verse 1]
This is hard to say
I wanna make sure I go about this in the right way
Cuz lately I been busy a lot
And I know you don't feel appreciated and what not
I used to tell you that you're hair looked fly
Kiss you slow and stare in your eyes
Now I talk real foul and slick
Every other sentence is
song performed by by LL Cool J

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Telephone Man
Mr. telephone man
There's something wrong with my line,
When i dial my baby's number
I get a click everytime
Mr. telephone man
There's something wrong with my line
When i dial my baby's number
I get a click every time
When i dial 611 computer service
She said "hello may i help you
Please?"
I told her something must be wrong
With my phone
Cause my baby wouldn't hang up
On me
Mr. telephone man
There something wrong with my line
When i dial my baby's number i get a
Click every time
Mr. telephone man
There something wrong with my line
When i dial my baby's number i get a
Click every time
She let the phone ring 20 times
Before she answered
Let me tell you what happened then
A minute later i got the operator
Saying please hang up and place
Your call agian
Mr. telephone man
There's something wrong with
My line
When i dial my baby's number
I get a click everytime
Mr. telephone man,
Soemthing's wrong with my line
I try to dial her number
I get a click everytime
Soem strange man is on the
Telephone
He keeps telling me my baby
Aint home
She got no party line
Situation blowing my mind
Oh, i just can't take this anymore
Please operator
See what you can do,
I dialed the right number
But i still couldn't get through
Could you just check the line
Just one more time if you can
I'm pretty sure her phone
Wouldn't be answered by no man
Mr. telephone man
There's something wrong with
My line
When i dial my baby's number
I get a click everytime
Mr. telephone man,
Soemthing's wrong with my line
I try to dial her number
I get a click everytime
Must be a bad connection
I give her my love and affection
I just can't take this no more
This situation blowing my mind
Blowing my mind
Can't get my baby on the line
I tried dialing information (mr. telephone man)
I can't get no coperation (mr. telephone man)
Her sister's on the phone telling me my baby
Aint at home
Come on baby i just can't take it no more
Help me out
Please mr. telephone man
Help me out
Please mr. telephone man
song performed by by New Edition

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wrong Number
Telephone down the hall
Dark and dusty on a dirty wall
Funky number scratched up above
Call this number if you need some love
Another number thats hard to read
Fools round here call it endlessly
But I know better, just leave it alone
Sugar man sellin dreams on the phone
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wrong number
Dont cha do it, no dont cha do it
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wrong number
Dont cha do it, no dont cha do it
Oh oh that sugar it aint worth the price
Another day out in the streets
The rollers drag another man to his feet
Take him to jail, to city hall
Sugar man puts a cross on his wall
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wrong number
Dont cha do it, no dont cha do it
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wrong number
Dont cha do it, no dont cha do it
Oh oh that sugar it aint worth the price
They keep on callin the man day and night
Mercedes pulls up, they all gather round
They flash their cash as the window rolls down
Then they run, run and hide
Back to their room for a warm sugar ride
song performed by by Doobie Brothers, music by Tom Johnston

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think there is some kind of divine order in the universe. Every leaf on every tree in the world is unique. As far as we can see, there are other galaxies, all slowly spinning, numerous as the leaves in the forest. In an infinite number of planets, there has to be an infinite number with life forms on them. Maybe this planet is one of the discarded mistakes. Maybe it's one of the victories. We'll never know.
quote by John D. MacDonald

Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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