She said 'I'm by commission. You don't have to pay anything until you sell anything.' I said, 'Well fine. You want to be my agent and not make anything.' I thought, 'Boy, is she dumb.'
Related quotes
Used Car Sales People
With the gift of the gab they would talk their way out of hell
These used car sales people they know how to sell
On their selling ability their jobs are at stake
The more cars they do sell the more commission they do make
On any deals they clinch they have never lost
And your trust on such people can come at a cost
The more cars they sell the more money they get paid
A hard job to succeed in the used car trade,
Shy and sensitive used car sales people one might say are rare
To sell one a car no effort they do spare
They have to sell cars or their boss them will fire
And other used car yard owners as car sales people them will not hire
The more cars they sell the greater is their pay
So to sell you a car they try every which way.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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So So Dumb
Uh
Oh yeah
Alright (alright)
Alright alright
Dumb dumb dumb
So so dumb so dumb
Dumb dumb dumb
So so dumb so dumb
Everytime I see ya
Simple bitch pleads
Come here and talk to me
Wanna tell ya (huh)
Tell ya whats been on my mind
The wifes a friend of mine
Why do you need some
Georgia pine in your life
Do you love everything
About the woman you with
Why you tryin to get with t
I thought that you had
Responsibility
See your wife is beautiful (huh)
The kid is two years old (hey)
She folds all your clothes
Whatcha runnin around for
I cant think that youre so
Dumb dumb dumb
She thinks youre so faithful
So so dumb so dumb
And shes such a pretty girl
Dumb dumb dumb
How could you be so damn
So so dumb so dumb
I cant believe
Youre knockin
Youre knockin at my door
I should get my gun
And gun you to the floor
But instead
I think Ill invite you in
Ima call your wife boy
And let her know where youve been
Cuz she thinks that
Youre so faithful
Boy youre so dumb (dumb)
Aint goin down like that no more
Guess whos knockin at the front door
Aint nobody you wanna see come in
You should appreciate your girl
Stop tryin to push it on me
I cant think that youre so
Dumb dumb dumb
She thinks youre so faithful
So so dumb so dumb
And shes such a pretty girl
Dumb dumb dumb
How could you be so damn
So so dumb so dumb
And one day love will leave your side
And no other will hear your cry
But you had to live your own life
Now nobody likes you
Not even you
Why you gotta be so
Dumb dumb dumb
Youve never been faithful
So so dumb so dumb
And you can have those other girls
Dumb dumb dumb
Cuz Im no longer in your world
So so dumb so dumb
I cant think that youre so
Dumb dumb dumb
She thinks youre so faithful
So so dumb so dumb
And shes such a pretty girl
Dumb dumb dumb
How could you be so damn
So so dumb so dumb
So stay away from me (huh)
You better play her somewhere else
You need to look at yourself (huh)
You need to find some help
So so dumb so dumb (dumb dumb)
Dumb dumb dumb (dumb dumb)
(da dumb dumb dumb)
So so dumb so dumb
Dumb dumb...
song performed by by TLC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Commission's findings underscore that the nation is still vulnerable to attack and that we must move more quickly to make us safer. We must take the Commission's work and use it to make certain that such horrific attacks never occur again.
quote by Lane Evans
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Secret Agent Man
You know I live a life of danger
For the fbi
Keeping tabs on our nation
On the land, on the sea, in the sky
But every single night
Before I go to bed
I get down on my knees
And thank god
Im a secret agent man
* secret agent man
Secret agent man
Theyve given me a number
But theyve taken way my name
I got one hell of a job to perform
For the u. s. of a.
Got the responsibility
Of our nations top security
But every night and day
I salute the flag and say
Thank you jesus
Cause im, Im a secret agent man
( * repeat)
You know they got me doin this
Doin that
And a little bit of something else
Fighting cavities of evil
Safe-guarding americas health
But not an afternoon pass
I dont get up off my ass
Thank you god
Cause im, Im a secret agent man
( * repeat 2 times)
Cause Im a secret agent man
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Amar Singh, A Political Middleman
A political middleman,
Other's weakness is his greatest strength,
Trusts only himself
And likes to be trusted,
A political commission agent,
Helps others bail out of their problems,
On hefty commission,
He is adept in the art of making wrong
A perfect right,
He is loquacious, And people take delight in this habit,
First he saves himself,
And then growls at others,
A perfect baldy and short man,
But ranks himself among film stars,
He is favourite to the star of the millenium,
Who is extremely cautious about his image,
But I am sorry to make out
In what way he(Mr. Bachchan) will be able to save his image
In the company of a middleman,
He(the middleman) has hitherto been able to save himself,
For he has readymade traps(CD's) for others,
He has an art of black mailing others,
He black mails others with the help of the court,
Neither court has a least feeling of being utilized
Nor the victim has a single hint of being black mailed,
And thus he serves his purpose,
What a man he is!
poem by Mohammad Akmal Nazir
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Digressive Detectors
I've been told on a few occasions,
That I don't spend time fine tuning my poems...
To enhance any 'suspected' relevant,
Thought process.
Digressive detectors,
Are all over the place these days.
And I share with those critics...
They have no idea of the amount of time I spend,
Seeking new avenues to avoid making sense at all.
Or ease into a way to expose my humility.
Please!
I have achievements to accomplish!
To add additional clarity...
For those probing.
I look at it this way...
Anything anyone should find of mine,
To critique with criticisms?
Keep this in mind...
That which you claim to find that is mine,
You have made an illegitimate claim!
Nothing of mine is yours to find,
Had I not put it there.
Hoping you'd be with a microscope.
So...
Probe on!
And if you find anything about me...
Or what I've written,
You might believe I am not aware...
Please,
Make that known.
But not to me.
I may be too busy...
Plotting to divulge actual evidence to prove,
I know exactly what I'm doing.
And...
I want to ensure,
You reveal your findings...
And make my mistakes public!
I am in waiting for another fool,
To believe I am one as well.
They've got to make up what they say,
Although it is dumb!
Digressive detectors.
Probing on the run.
They've got to make up what they say,
Although it is dumb!
Digressive detectors.
Probing on the run.
I may be too busy...
Plotting to divulge actual evidence to prove,
I know exactly what I'm doing.
So...
Probe on!
And if you find anything about me...
Or what I've written,
You might believe I am not aware...
Please,
Make that known.
But not to me.
I am not impressed,
With your digressions.
They've got to make up what they say,
Although it is dumb!
Digressive detectors.
Probing on the run.
They've got to make up what they say,
Although it is dumb!
Digressive detectors.
Probing on the run.
They've got to make up what they say,
Although it is dumb!
Digressive detectors.
Probing on the run.
Digressive detectors.
Probing on the run!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dum Dum George
This heres the story about
Dumb, dumb george,
Who came up to boston
One sunny afternoon.
He drove up from new york city,
And he was freaky,
And he wanted to record me,
And I said,
George,
Youre dumb.
And he said, I know.
Why do you think I make so much money.
I wanna do
A record
Thatll make number one.
Dumb, dumb.
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My agent sent me the script and I loved it. I wondered how they would turn me into a chimp. My agent said it would probably not entail to much time. Just some hair and make-up. I found out that it was not so simple.
quote by Kim Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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So You Wanna Be A Rock 'n' Roll Star
So you want to be a rock & roll star
Well listen now to what I say
Just get an electric guitar
And take some time and learn how to play
And when if your hairs are right
And your pants are tight It's gonna be all right
(It's gonna be all right)
Well is time to go downtown
To the agent man he won't let you down
Sell your soul to the company
They're all waiting there To sell plastic wares
And in a week or two if you make the charts
The girls will tear you apart
What you pay for these riches and fame
Well it's all a vicious game You're a little insane
What you get is the public acclaim
Don't forget who you are You're a rock & roll star
Na na na na na...
song performed by by Roxette
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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So You Wanna Be A Rock & Roll Star
So you want to be a rock & roll star
Well listen now to what i say
Just get an electric guitar
And take some time and learn how to play
And when if your hairs are right
And your pants are tight it's gonna be all right
(it's gonna be all right)
Well is time to go downtown
To the agent man he won't let you down
Sell your soul to the company
They're all waiting there to sell plastic wares
And in a week or two if you make the charts
The girls will tear you apart
What you pay for these riches and fame
Well it's all a vicious game you're a little insane
What you get is the public acclaim
Don't forget who you are you're a rock & roll star
Na na na na na...
*cover from the byrds
song performed by by Roxette
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Youre So Fine
(coverdale/vandenberg)
I want you so bad,
The thought is driving me mad
Like a cat on the prowl,
You come when you want
And not when I call
So sly, so pretty,
I wanna steal all the keys to your city
Tight skirt, skinny leg,
You make a bad dog sit up and beg
Youre everything I want,
Everything I need
Come in out of the cold, pretty woman,
Spend the night with me
Oh, youre so fine
Oh, I wanna make your mine all mine,
til the end of time,
Baby, youre so fine
Youre so hot with body heat,
You cause a fire walking down the street
You got class, you got style,
The girls dont like it,
But, the boys go wild
Youre everything I want,
Everything I need
Come in out of the cold, pretty woman,
Spend the night with me
Oh, youre so fine
Oh, I wanna make your mine
Dance little sister,
Spinning on a dime,
Shake a shimmy little twister
Im gonna make you,
Im gonna make you mine,
Mine all mine,
Youre so fine
I want you so bad,
Just the thought is driving me mad,
I wanna know what youll do,
Baby, baby, I cant wait
To get my hands on you
Youre everything I want,
Everything I need
Come in out of the cold, pretty woman,
Spend the night with me
Oh, youre so fine
Oh, I wanna make your mine
Oh, youre so fine
Oh, I wanna make your mine all mine
Youre so fine, youre so fine
Youre so fine, youre so fine
Youre so fine...
song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Friday's Child
(K.J.Garside C.Gray)
........my daughter,
take her from the water.......
I laid her down.......
For she drinks from the river,
I pray forgive her,
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
Girl a string of lovers,
Found dead beneath her,
They pulled her down,
For she drinks from the river,
I pray forgive her,
Don't let her drown,
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
A prayer for the mind who's thread bare,
For those who dare to tread there,
Now the sun is gone,
Oh I pray for my daughter,
I pray support her,
Don't let her drown,
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
song performed by by Queen Adreena
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Book Agent Story
As we have given several humorous Scottish stories in verse we will venture to
trespass on your good nature by giving an American specimen. The scene is laid
in the suburbs of New York. It was a prose tale, and we fancy we have not
diminished the height, breadth or depth of the humour by grinding it in our
poetical mill and having it flow out in rhyme.
There is a man, his name is Brown,
He lives in a suburban town
And has an office in the city,
His misfortunes you will pity.
His mind it was on stocks and change,
He cared not for things new or strange ;
But agent managed him to hook
And sold to him a costly book.
Brown cared not for those glorious names-
Died for religion in the flames;
Now he felt agent was a Tartar
For selling him a book of martyr.
The agent knew it would make strife,
But sold another to his wife;
She did not know that Brown had bought,
And agent on her easy wrought .
Approaching her with winning smile
He poor woman did beguile.
He made her believe without a doubt
No Christian could do without
This book, which would all inspire
With spark of celestial fire,
With feelings like the first martyr
Who had died for Christian charter.
When Brown did home return at night
His wife, to add to his delight,
Resolved that she would, after tea,
Get chatting with her husband free
And tell him of fine book she bought ;
Of trouble fresh she never thought,
But she noticed a gloomy frown
On the brow of her husband Brown,
But thought when I my purchase tell
Those dark clouds they will dispel ;
She said, my dear, I bought martyr,
He looked as if he her could quarter.
And said the scoundrel sold me book ;
Out of the window then he did look
And saw the agent haste to train ;
He tried to stop him, but in vain ;
Smith then was passing in spring waggon,
And he had his trotting nag on ;
He told him to stop book agent ;
His escape for to prevent,
Smith told him Brown wanted him ;
But agent-nothing daunted him ;
Said he : He only wants to barter
With me for my book of Martyr.
If thats all, said Smith, with quick dash,
Give me his book, and here's your cash ;
Book agent jumped aboard the car,
For he knew there would be war;
Smith met Brown with triumphant look-
Said he : I have got you the book ;
Brown's feelings now no one could paint,
He there did show he was no saint ;
But to big own home he now returned,
And fierce rage in his bosom burned ;
He was not fit for Knight of Garter
When he brought in the third martyr.
poem by James McIntyre
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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So You Want To Be A Rock n Roll Star
So you want to be a rock n roll star
Then listen now to what I say
Just get an electric guitar
And take some time and learn how to play
And when your hairs combed right
And your pants fit tight
Its gonna be all right
Then its time to go down town
Where the agent man wont let you down
Sell your soul to the company who are waiting there
To sell plastic ware and in a week or two
If you make the charts
The girls will tear you apart
Gotta pay for your riches and fame
Was it all a strange game
Youre a little insane
The money that came and the public acclaim
Dont forget who you are
Youre a rock n roll star
Repeat last verse
La la la la la la la
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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So You Want To Be A Rock N Roll Star
So you want to be a rock n roll star?
Well listen now, hear what I say
Just get an electric guitar
Take some time
And learn how to play
And when your hair swung right,
And your pants get tight
Its gonna be alright
Well then its time to go downtown
To the agent man wont let you down
Sell your soul to some company
Who are waiting there to sell plastic ware
And in a week or two if you make the charts
The girls will tear you apart
Its the price you pay for your riches and fame,
Was it all a strange game?
Youre a little insane
The money that came, and the public acclaim,
Dont forget what you are,
Youre a rock n roll star
song performed by by Tom Petty
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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So You Wanna Be A Rock Roll Star
So you want to be a rock & roll star
Well listen now to what I say
Just get an electric guitar
And take some time and learn how to play
And when if your hairs are right
And your pants are tight its gonna be all right
(its gonna be all right)
Well is time to go downtown
To the agent man he wont let you down
Sell your soul to the company
Theyre all waiting there to sell plastic wares
And in a week or two if you make the charts
The girls will tear you apart
What you pay for these riches and fame
Well its all a vicious game youre a little insane
What you get is the public acclaim
Dont forget who you are youre a rock & roll star
Na na na na na...
*cover from the byrds
song performed by by Roxette
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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THE WAR ON DRUGS June 3rd,2011
The Global Commission on Drug Policy wants to change things around,
We have no alternative they seem to say, but to back down,
It sometimes seems as though we’ve lost the war on illegal drugs,
And instead of being arrested, the druggers should get shrugs.
The Commission wants to stop the war by reducing consumption,
If the people who do the drugs will go along with this presumption,
And if we legalize all drugs, it seems, things might be great,
But I don’t think Ottawa politicians are up for this debate.
This high profile Commission doesn’t want addicts treated as criminals,
Regardless of what drugs they do or what illegal chemicals,
They want the UN involved as though that would make a difference,
There’s probably no organization in the world more indifferent.
June 3rd 2011
poem by James Bredin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I've been very lucky. I wanted to be an actress, but I didn't really have the drive to sell myself. Fortunately I had a terrific agent in New York who kept me going from job to job.
quote by Blythe Danner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dumb Blonde
Dont try to cry your way out of this
Dont try to lie or Ill catch you in it
Dont try to make me feel sorry for you
Just because Im blonde
Dont think Im dumb
Cause this dumb blonde aint nobodys fool
When you left you thought Id sit
An you thought Id wait
An you thought Id cry
You called me a dumb blonde
Ah, but somehow I lived through it
And you know if theres one thing this blonde has learned
Blondes have more fun
You flew too high up off the ground
Its stormy wheater an had to come back down
But Ive found new thread for my old spool
Just because Im blonde
Dont think Im dumb
Cause this dumb blonde aint nobodys fool
When you left you thought Id sit
An you thought Id wait
An you thought Id cry
You called me a dumb blonde
Ah, but somehow I lived through it
And you know if theres one thing this blonde has learned
Blondes have more fun
You flew too high up off the ground
Its stormy wheater an had to come back down
But Ive found new thread for my old spool
Just because Im blonde
Dont think Im dumb
Cause this dumb blonde aint nobodys fool
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shopping Trail
she purrs; 'tea sir, please try
this tea. it is good for health,
japanese tea' so gentle, articulate
and musical to the ears, i thought
somebody should make her a secretary
she would be any office's perfect tea,
flowing with her grace and charm
'sir, sir, mastercard, here are
the free gifts- sport cars model.
lifetime free credit cards. here the gifts.
please sign up. i need some
commission for the Chinese
new year.' so truthful the boy
i thought he would be better off
a priest. signing up just so that
he can get some commission?
he's too truthful to be good for anything
free membership but one only knows
what a credit card means when the
monthly bill docks the door
'do you want a lady? do you want
a lady? do you want a lady?
er...er....do you want a boy? '
yes, they try to gauge what
you are and would sell you anyhing
possible in a redlight district -
even though all you want is to learn
a thing or two about the place
you are caught in a situation
where you have to run before
they really sex you up for what
you dont really want
you found the reality of life
- nowhere else is an anatomy
as mercilessly and shamelessly
sold - even the unhealthy ones -
outdoing the best abbatoir and
the morning markets
'take a stone sir for the new year
to bring new luck. what's your
birthdate. here is the gemstone
book, see what the astrologer
has to say.' But then your
nemesis is - you had bought
so many stones which all fail
to give any colours to your life
you thought every dollar you save
from now would be a gem itself
the fortune teller cum fengshui master
out to make the fortune of his day
excitedly points out: ' i know you are
in a bad patch of your life. now if you
dont mind can i visit your house? a tip or two
on the arrangement of rooms,
things will change your luck and life.'
mom zestfully told me the other day
a fengshui master unsuspectingly
told a woman who has made a great
fortune after moving into a new
house the same thing
fengshui quacks after fengshuing
clients'wealth in the direction of their pockets
really left what they promised to them
- a bonanaza of wind and water, a
thunderstorm to wreck havoc in their life
'here, here is a fine longines automatic sir
and at a fraction of the original ones.
it is as real as the real one and only US50.
no problem, works as good as the real
ones.' the time seller kept on a real sales pitch.
the man unthinkingly bought and sure enough
the glass case dropped off a week
later - showing him, time again, how
real a fake can be.
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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