Book Agent Story
As we have given several humorous Scottish stories in verse we will venture to
trespass on your good nature by giving an American specimen. The scene is laid
in the suburbs of New York. It was a prose tale, and we fancy we have not
diminished the height, breadth or depth of the humour by grinding it in our
poetical mill and having it flow out in rhyme.
There is a man, his name is Brown,
He lives in a suburban town
And has an office in the city,
His misfortunes you will pity.
His mind it was on stocks and change,
He cared not for things new or strange ;
But agent managed him to hook
And sold to him a costly book.
Brown cared not for those glorious names-
Died for religion in the flames;
Now he felt agent was a Tartar
For selling him a book of martyr.
The agent knew it would make strife,
But sold another to his wife;
She did not know that Brown had bought,
And agent on her easy wrought .
Approaching her with winning smile
He poor woman did beguile.
He made her believe without a doubt
No Christian could do without
This book, which would all inspire
With spark of celestial fire,
With feelings like the first martyr
Who had died for Christian charter.
When Brown did home return at night
His wife, to add to his delight,
Resolved that she would, after tea,
Get chatting with her husband free
And tell him of fine book she bought ;
Of trouble fresh she never thought,
But she noticed a gloomy frown
On the brow of her husband Brown,
But thought when I my purchase tell
Those dark clouds they will dispel ;
She said, my dear, I bought martyr,
He looked as if he her could quarter.
And said the scoundrel sold me book ;
Out of the window then he did look
And saw the agent haste to train ;
He tried to stop him, but in vain ;
Smith then was passing in spring waggon,
And he had his trotting nag on ;
He told him to stop book agent ;
His escape for to prevent,
Smith told him Brown wanted him ;
But agent-nothing daunted him ;
Said he : He only wants to barter
With me for my book of Martyr.
If thats all, said Smith, with quick dash,
Give me his book, and here's your cash ;
Book agent jumped aboard the car,
For he knew there would be war;
Smith met Brown with triumphant look-
Said he : I have got you the book ;
Brown's feelings now no one could paint,
He there did show he was no saint ;
But to big own home he now returned,
And fierce rage in his bosom burned ;
He was not fit for Knight of Garter
When he brought in the third martyr.
poem by James McIntyre
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Related quotes
When we were first offered a book deal prior to Avon's, they were trying to get us to change it from the first-person story into a how-to book, and they were offering us some decent money. My agent told me; ""you should really consider this"".
quote by Kenny Loggins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Candle Burns
Not a single word added today
to my tinsel book. The brown eyes
were searching my smile.
You want to close the happening
of first moon and the fig.
My roses start a new dialect,
waiting on the clouds, almost
in rains, spreading the wetting
agent between the eyes.
The distance was the most crucial
thing, that does not end;
endlessly stretching.
poem by Satish Verma
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Why.............?
The American book of 'why',
The Asian book of 'why',
The European book of 'why',
The African book of 'why',
The Australian book of 'why',
The most asked question in the valley of world events;
Especially when one explodes a bomb!
The Christian book of 'why',
The Muslim book of 'why',
The Jewish book of 'why',
The Hindu book of 'why',
The Krishna book of 'why',
lLife is like the yeast which makes the bread rise;
But, the writer always has his or her own mind.
The Pagan book of 'why',
The Buddhist book of 'why',
The Protestant book of 'why',
The Confucian book of 'why',
To all life's aspects with the remaining books of 'why';
Poetry is the literature that muses with the mind.
Shall the trumpet be blown in the city and,
The people will not be afraid?
Seven bulls and seven rams,
I am the planted tree by the rivers of waters.
I am very young in years but,
The word 'why' is the question that goes around easily.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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The review
At the review he was to give a 'preview' of his book
He wore crushed purple velvet
To create a distinguished 'celebrity look! '
He bit his nails for the first time
He was nervous
And as writers often do.....he 'chainsmoked'
And despite being teetotal he drank...
First shorts...then wine...
One day 'Champagne ' he mused
And feeling clumsy and confused
He stumbled to the podium
Almost missed his seat
There was a literary agent he was anxious to meet
Then foolishly he began
His dedication was exact
'Before I begin I would like to thank my cat
Tabs wrote this book,
called 'kitty meat'
A novel about a hungry cat with nothing to eat
Who kills its own mother and sister and brother,
Then the audience stood to their feet
He got a standing ovation
Then his dad told him the sad news
His cat had got run over in the street
During all the reviews
yvette smith sept 08
poem by Yvette Smith
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Secret Agent Man
You know I live a life of danger
For the fbi
Keeping tabs on our nation
On the land, on the sea, in the sky
But every single night
Before I go to bed
I get down on my knees
And thank god
Im a secret agent man
* secret agent man
Secret agent man
Theyve given me a number
But theyve taken way my name
I got one hell of a job to perform
For the u. s. of a.
Got the responsibility
Of our nations top security
But every night and day
I salute the flag and say
Thank you jesus
Cause im, Im a secret agent man
( * repeat)
You know they got me doin this
Doin that
And a little bit of something else
Fighting cavities of evil
Safe-guarding americas health
But not an afternoon pass
I dont get up off my ass
Thank you god
Cause im, Im a secret agent man
( * repeat 2 times)
Cause Im a secret agent man
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.
quote by Joseph Smith, Jr.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I knew what book we had to write, it was clear in my head; it was journals and poetry. So I passed on their offer. I told my agent this is our vision, and no one's done it this way.
quote by Kenny Loggins
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No agent wants to see a book until he or she has decided whether to pursue the relationship.
quote by Sara Paretsky
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I like to act. I work for scale. I don't have an acting agent. I'm in the book.
quote by John Sayles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fishing Hole
Some place quiet
peaceful
Preferably
I would like to
Walk
Or maybe
Ride a bike there
If I have to drive
I think too many people might know about it
It has already become too popular
Its purpose
The reason I would have went there
has already been defeated
I'm not trying to give an impression of exclusivity
Sometimes
I just want to be alone
In a place where
I can take a book
Read for hours
I can take a pen and note book
Maybe my laptop
Write for days
I'd bring my headphones
Or
Listen to nature's symphony
A radio would be too much
Too loud
Not something I would want to carry
I won't do what I did to my last one
One became two
Two became a few
A few
For me
Became too many
I won't tell anyone
Ill just leave a note,
Gone fishing
Be back
Sometime between
Now and Then
©Christopher F. Brown 2012
Technorati Tags: Fishing Hole, poetry, Christopher F. Brown, cfbrown.com
poem by Christopher Brown
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The Best Book In The World
the best book
in the world
the only true book
is the world itself
the Book of Nature
the best book is the silence
the wordless-ness in
the clouds and the sky
and the rivers and the oceans
and the lands
and the grass that breaks through the concrete;
and in the deserts and the volcanoes
and the stars
and the moon
and the creatures of the earth
and in all fellow beings
and the vastness beyond
and the vastness within
the best book
the only true book
(every other book is distortion)
is the world itself
the Book of Nature:
read it
poem by Raj Arumugam
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Mr Paddy's Capers.
Just when she thought
She'd found a place alone
To read her book, Mr Paddy
poked his nose between
Her and the open book, so
That pages are blanked out
By his huge head. Mr Paddy
Go off and annoy another,
She said, but he stood there
Determined to be where he
Was, between her and the
Brown covered book, held
Out in her small hands. Oh
Mr Paddy I cannot see the
Pages. Please go off and run
In the garden or in the kitchen
And steal a bone, she said. But
He wouldn't leave her alone,
He pushed his head against her
Young girl body, his damp nose
Dampening her wrist and her
White dress with blue sash, and
Dribble from his lips was wetting
The pages. Mr Paddy please let
Me be, I'm trying to read can't
You see? Mr Paddy's brown eyes
Scanned the pages, nothing there
But scribbled lines upon white paper,
And still he stood wet mouthed with
Big brown eyes and his silly old caper.
poem by Terry Collett
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Secret Angent X-9
Got a racecar grin and a calculation
And every gun for a secret agent
Defunct that timebomb at the space station
Hey, Secret Agent X-9 why don't you drop me a line?
And say, would it cost you your job
to say what was in that gold box?
So why did they give you that job?
And why can they give you that job?
You think this guy was on a permanent vacation
But no he's not, he's a secret agent
song performed by by Modest Mouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Ballad Of Go-go Brown
If thats why they call him go-go brown
Hed say (? )
If thats why some people put him down
Hed say it costs his name as go-go brown
All the girls in town
Used to follow him around
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
All the boys would sing
Were gonna make this go-go king
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
Go-go brown is the smartest guy by far
A brand new girlfriend and a brand new car
The girls all thought that he was heaven-sent
one day this boy will be a president
All the church bells ring
When that go-go used to sing
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
Here the people say
hes gonna be someone someday
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
Then one day some bad men came to call
And go-go knew its time to take a fall
Hes been smoking since the age of ten
He took some crack, he sold some smack
And now hes in the pen
All the girls in town
Used to follow him around
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
All the boys would sing
Were gonna make this go-go king
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
He raised them all
Yes he do
He faced the wall
Yes he did
He stood tall
Yes he do
Who did he let down
Just one man thats go-go brown (? )
All the church bells ring
When that go-go used to sing
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
Here the people say
hes gonna be someone someday
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
All the girls in town
Used to follow him around
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
All the boys would sing
Were gonna make that go-go king
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
All the girls in town
Used to follow him around
Go-go brown
Go-go brown
song performed by by Heaven 17
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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That wasn't a bad price for a first book. My agent upped it as much as possible. I was 27 and had nothing behind me. I was working like a fool to earn a living and pay for my apartment.
quote by Patricia Highsmith
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I write about five thousand words a day, when working on a book, about three thousand a day if I'm writing a short story. I take long periods off between projects, when I read a lot, garden, and think about the next book or stories.
quote by Eric Brown
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Not a Magician
Give me back my virginity.
I've changed my mind,
I want it back!
You are no soul mate to me.
You tricked me into giving it up.
And I thought forever we would be.
But as soon as we were through...
You told me you had others to do!
That's nasty.
Give me back my virginity.
I want to search for someone else,
My virginity will please.
Someone who's not so quick...
To strip and get it over with.
Someone who likes it fresh.
And tells me I'm the best.
Someone who moans and sighs,
When in between my...
'Mrs. Brown?
MRS. BROWN! ? '
Yes?
Oh...
Yes, Doctor Smith.
'I can help you stop smoking if you wish.
It seems as though you have regressed.
Your issues with sex,
Must be discussed at other scheduled sessions! '
EXCUSE ME?
'I am a hypnotist, Mrs. Brown.
Not a magician!
I don't have those kinds of powers!
Not at these hourly rates! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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We had gone out on the road in 94 and 95 for a three month American tour, and we realised, as did our manager and booking agent at the time, that we have really exhausted it, and we can't make money at this anymore.
quote by Steve Brown
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If You Come By
If you come by
And I'm not here
Do not worry with a tear,
But just gives a smile
If just for a while
And remember, that I once was here.
And if you look
And you find my book,
To remember the things I have said,
Just give a thought
For you have caught,
Feelings, I once had read.
For I was here
Not long ago
Along with the freezing snow,
Writing dreams and remembering things
So man wouldn't let go.
But the dreams had died
One gloomy night,
When wishes were no longer made
So they didnt need me to write them down
So my book, they threw away.
If you come by
And I'm not here,
And you have a dream in your mind.
Just open a book
And then you look,
A dream, you might have found.
So write it down
Without a frown,
Or a lonesome tear.
But remember that thought
That you had sought,
For now, you are here.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
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The first book I wrote was The Bride Price which was a romantic book, but my husband burnt the book when he saw it. I was the typical African woman, I'd done this privately, I wanted him to look at it, approve it and he said he wouldn't read it.
quote by Buchi Emecheta
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