So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.
quote by Frank Carson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
A silent phone call
I sat for an hour thinking of her
wondering about where she was
what she would be doing
and who she was with.
Then again I think of her a lot
because they say if you do that
that person will feel those thoughts
and get back in touch with you.
Who believes all that nonsense anyway
how can someone feel the thoughts
of another person miles and miles away?
I sat there thinking I'm thinking too much
and just as I was going out the door
the mobile on the table started ringing
bet that's another cold caller I thought.
It wasn't a cold caller but my mate
asking if I was going down the pub
told him no not tonight bit short of cash.
Putting my coat on the phone rang again
bet that's my mate going to buy me a few beers
he knows he'll get it back at the weekend.
No it wasn't my mate as nobody spoke
even when I asked who was there on the line
all I could hear was someone breathing.
The next night the silent caller rang again
and the night after that and the next night
then it stopped as suddenly as it started
no voice, no talking, no light breathing.
They say if you think of someone a lot
that person will feel those thoughts
and get back in touch with you,
who believes all that nonsense anyway?
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Leo (skit)
this is leo, the cousin of the bitch that dont no nothing,
next caller, ya um,
i want ot know if my mom having an affair with my boyfriend
oh, okay, wait on, hold on hun,
the tarot cards never lie
but your gonna have to hold on
is 50 dollas a minute okay?
aight
next caller
WATZ YOUR NAME?
ADJIHAH
adjihah, wat da hell ya want?
ya i wanna know ...
who your babys daddy?
right?
ya, um is is the fat one
or the bald one?
hun, hold on,..........
no, its not the bald, or the fat one
the other guy you was with
oh okay
NEXT CALLER
BUT YOUR GONNA HAVE TO HOLD ON!!!!
song performed by by Ja Rule
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Report
What is report?
Report is established,
Not demanded.
Seduction to manipulate
Premeditated moves
Will not sit well with someone else
You wish to impress
With what you offer that's approved.
One seeking report
Leaves these aggressions at the door.
If not one will find rejection...
Without another reception.
And having report,
Is what one should never first ignore!
'You mean 'ree'pour? '
Report is like giving a grade.'
And 'ree'pour is like giving what?
'Having class! '
Well,
What do you get in a 'class'?
'A report! '
Let's see...
If you report to class with 'ree'pour',
You'll get a good grade!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
What we call progress is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.
quote by Havelock Ellis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
What we call "Progress" is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.
quote by Havelock Ellis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy! | In Romanian
Men are overbearing
Insurance agents are a nuisance.
Sales representatives are a nuisance.
We hate them for their overbearing.
Women also bars men on this count
09.05.2010
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I was in New York. Hitchcock was in California. He rang me to make a report on his progress and said, I'm having trouble. I've just sacked my second screenwriter.
quote by Patricia Highsmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Report, report, report. Dig, dig, dig. Think, think, think. Don't stop being a reporter because you've become a columnist.
quote by Allan Sloan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My Baby
[Deejay] Hotline
[caller] Can I request a song?
[Deejay] Sure
[caller] "My Baby" by Lil' Romeo {*giggling*}
[Deejay] You got that
[Chorus: Lil' Romeo and a girl singing]
[G:] Oh Romeo give me a chance
[R:] Uh uhh too young I don't need a girlfriend
[G:] Walk me home from school anyway
[R:] (Heheh) O-kay
[G:] Oh Romeo the cutest boy I know
[R:] I know
song performed by by Lil' Romeo from Lil' Romeo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The British Government and the Irish Government have accepted very clearly the Mitchell Report.
quote by Dick Spring
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A Midnight Caller
The sound of Dakota by Stereophonics,
The periodic sound of my ringtone,
In that moment sub-conciousness,
There goes the midnight caller,
Like a phantom she whispers soft words,
Like a baby I concentrate unto her,
She tells me she couldnt sleep,
Only my voice could rescue her,
Jailed in her iron cell,
Of solitude in a lonely night,
She is a midnight caller
Her voice so penetrative like winter winds,
Sending an impulse down to my toes,
My night is changed for the better,
Like she is right there with me,
My pillow knnows her voice,
So does my linen sheets,
In the silence of the dark nights,
Stereophonics, Dakota plays again,
Goodnight wishes again and again,
She is a midnight caller
Midnight, my seasonal best friend,
Only in need not in deed,
Approach faster, I have fallen in love,
Starring at my fone waiting for your call
To regain hope lost in the morning,
To revitalise moral lost in the afternoon,
Winning what I lost during sunset,
Your words like a bundle of joy
She id a midnight caller
She knows the most perfect time,
When muscles are relaxed, perfectly,
When the brain is at ease,
Who taught her such,
She got it better than everyone,
Bright enough to shine my night,
Dont hold the phone on me,
My ear hungers for you sweet one,
Oh my, she is a midnight caller
Its like a new world in my bed,
My room a fantasyland,
Your words turn the lights on,
They kiss away the fright,
And certainly they turn me on,
Your last words,
Two big tears rolling down my cheeks
She steals my heart by night,
Waiting upon her call,
Dakota, please play along,
She makes my night,
She is a midnight caller
poem by Gaylord Munemo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Another ******* rant...
Emotion recollected in
Tranquillity? Not.
British Telecom has this time
added to my modest bill
£4.50 ($ 9, right?) for
‘processing’ my payment.
That’s 10% of my modest bill..
the bloody nerve.
So what about the cost to me
of ‘processing’ my bill?
The costly stamp I’m lucky
if I’ve got; the mental effort
of having to spell out the figures
on the cheque, in case someone
alters them; the walking to the postbox..
what makes them think I’m not doing this
in my expensive working hours, for which
I charge a consultation fee?
I see they’ve even set up
a separate company to ‘process’…
bet that was cheap… Though of course
I could follow their ‘complaints procedure’
and phone them… ‘ we are sorry but
our lines are Very Busy…your phone call
is important to us…please hold the line…’
So tell me, why shouldn’t I… charge them? …
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
My Heart Is Healed
You rang my phone.
And I heard you there breathing.
Not even an 'hello'...
Did you consider to say to me.
And I wondered 'why' you called,
My telephone number.
When you knew that I would check,
The caller ID.
It was up to you not me to leave.
You had decided it was finally over.
It was up to you not me to leave.
And suddenly you reappear.
Hoping my life,
Seeks you to fill a need.
You rang my phone.
And I heard you there breathing.
Not even an 'hello'...
Did you consider to say to me.
It was up to you not me to leave.
You had decided it was finally over.
It was up to you not me to leave.
And suddenly you reappear.
Hoping my life,
Seeks you to fill a need.
Don't you call me no more!
Exploring possibilities,
There is a vacancy.
Empty but you've got the key!
Don't you call me no more!
Exploring possibilities,
There is a vacancy.
My heart is healed and has been relieved.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Long Distance Caller
I'm a long distance caller,
Focused on your needs.
And you may not know this,
Since near you I don't sit.
I'm a long distance caller,
Here to please not tease.
And it's you I picked,
To receive this benefit.
Close your eyes,
And realize your bright side.
Don't you ever quit,
Being positive.
Just close your eyes,
And want to feel good inside.
Get rid of that hold,
To let your troubles go!
Know it's you I picked,
To receive this benefit.
Close your eyes,
And realize your bright side.
It is you I picked,
To receive this benefit.
I'm a long distance caller,
Focused on your needs.
And you may not know this,
Since near you I don't sit.
Close your eyes,
And realize your bright side.
Don't you ever quit,
Being positive.
'Hello.'
Don't you ever quit,
Being positive.
'Hello.'
Don't you ever quit,
Being positive.
Close your eyes,
To realize your bright side.
And don't you ever quit.
'Hello, hello.'
Don't you ever quit.
'Hello, hello.'
Don't you ever quit.
'Hello, hello.'
Don't you ever quit.
I'm a long distance caller.
Focused on your needs.
And...
Don't you ever quit.
'Hello, hello.'
Being positive.
'Hello, hello.'
Don't you ever quit.
'Hello, hello.'
Being positive.
'Hello, hello.'
I'm a long distance caller.
Focused on your needs.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Telecom is a dramatic success in India and our view is, respecting the political process, and respecting the fact that these are sovereign decisions, is that, approaching India as a friend.
quote by John W. Snow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
It was determined, as shown in the report of the Commission, which I can read to you, but I know you are familiar with the report. It states there was disagreement on this issue, particularly as the subject was debated, that there were different opinions about it.
quote by John Sherman Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Aao baaten karen! (Urdu)
Aao rang e shafaq!
Shokh rang e shafaq!
Mil k baaten karen,
Uss ki baaten karen...
Ik naey rang say waqt ko rok len,
Ik naey taur say her guzartay huey pal ko awaz den,
Or dhalti hui raat ki nabz ko thaam len
iss tarha
k kisi ko khabar bhi na ho,
Iss tarha
K koi shor bhi naa macchay...
Or shamma bhi baaton me shamil rahay,
Mah o anjum bhi jhuk jhuk k suntay rahen,
sir ko dhuntay rahen,
khwab buntay rahen,
kyun naa rang e shafaq!
Shokh rang e shafaq!
Ek fursat say aankhon me raaten karen,
Mil k baaten karen,
Uss ki baaten karen...
poem by Shahzia Batool
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Unfortunately, I was not wise enough to listen to her advice, and hastily married. In a few weeks, I had occasion to repent of the step I had taken, as the report proved true - a report which I thought justified, and indeed required, our separation.
quote by Maria Monk
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Indian Mutiniy
British infants who were nobly born
Were from their bleeding mother's bosom torn
And with the bayonet dashed upon the street
There left to lie for native dogs to eat.
But the British Lion he soon o'erthrew
Both the high and the low Hindoo ;
Now they respect the Christian laws
For fear of British Lion's paws.
poem by James McIntyre
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Until as recently as November of 1966, I had complete faith in the Warren Report. Of course, my faith in the Report was grounded in ignorance, since I had never read it.
quote by Jim Garrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!