He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.
quote by Mickey Mantle
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it.
Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart.
quote by Robert Redford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Parking Team
This is where I want to be
Standing in the coldness of winter
Standing in the hotness of summer
Directing traffic
Seeing smiles
Hearing the laughter of children
Seeing the golf cart come by
Full of laughing kids
Seeing the smiles on their faces when the cart comes
That’s what I love about the parking team!
The way I’m able to help everyone brings a smile to my face
I see familiar faces when I drive the golf cart
Those faces, those smiles, those people is what keeps me going
I enjoy every moment on the team
From putting on my vest to calling it a night
I live for those moments
During those times, that’s when I shine
I never let my glow leave
I have fun with parking
Even standing in the rain… it’s fun
This is something that I long to do every week
It’s just for less than four hours
But it’s the best part of my week
I find parking a challenge
You never know what is on its way
It could be a new spot or it could be a new route
Whatever the challenge, I will take it
I will take it and be the best
Nothing and no one will stand in my way
poem by Laura Carie Dalton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Fastest Guitar Alive
Orbison/dees
Hey here I go a lucky so and so
Happy cos I know Ive got my fast guitar
Singing pretty songs, knowing I belong
I am first and last, and always a fast guitar
The fastest guitar alive
Rattling strings like a gattling gun
Shaped like a lovely woman
Stay right where you are
My guitar is a fast guitar
The fastest guitar alive
Im rolling on like a rolling stone
Gathering no moss, I play a boss guitar
The fastest guitar alive
Strumming like a battling soldiers drum
Shaped like a lovely woman
Stay right where you are
My guitar is a fast guitar
The fastest guitar alive
Hey here I go a lucky so and so
Happy cos I know Ive got my fast guitar
The fastest guitar
The fastest guitar
The fastest guitar alive
song performed by by Roy Orbison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I was not great behind the counter. I had a week off without asking for it. Another time, we had a cart go up in flames, and we went out on another cart, which we wrecked by running it into the cart that was on fire.
The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I get in my golf cart with my dogs, I have five dogs.
quote by Delta Burke
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.
quote by Jon Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Let the man get his money
Throughout all my life, I tried to act smart
And once, I was driving in a golf cart
With a partner who seemed a little retard
Who was always protected by a bodyguard
I was young and bold, he was old and lame
When he lost in golf, he challenged me for another game
A game of poker, baccarat, roulette
With a gun to my head, I couldn’t say net*
I knew the dices were loaded, from the start
It’s not just the money that were at stake
The old dude wanted to steal my soul
I didn’t have right for a single mistake
Despite the odds I won in his game
He was upping the ante, all the same
Blackjack,3 cards and finally – crap
Yet, he failed to catch me in his devilish trap
My guardian angel was too strong for him
It defeated the old piranha
He waived to his goons and uttered the words:
Let the man get his money…
***
August 25,2009
poem by Slava Olchevski
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Seldom Asked
A horse familiar with pulling a cart,
Doesn't have to be taught...
What that experience is like.
Or is in need to have details of scenes,
Described by those riding in the cart...
As the horse pulls.
A horse familiar with pulling a cart,
Doesn't have to be taught...
What that experience is like.
A horse familiar with pulling a cart...
Is seldom asked,
About anything the horse knows and has seen...
On a path that is daily traveled.
Those in the cart,
Seldom repeat the ride.
And few, if any...
Know what it is like to pull their own weight,
And others.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
She Ran so Fast
There was once a girl who wanted to run fast
She was the fastest in her home, the fastest in her class
She ran so fast she would break all the rules
Not to mention, all the records in all of her schools
All people called her, ‘Fastest in the world’
But that wasn’t nearly fast enough for this girl
She ran so fast gravity couldn’t carry her
And then one day, she ran past the sound barrier
One time,2 times,3 times, and 4
She mocked space shuttles in her quest to run more
Her feet never sored, her soul never tired
She ran so fast, she was lean as a wire
As she grew older, so did her legend
Her ambition grew bolder and made her feel destined
To become the fastest that ever existed
She was faster than stars shooting at night
But still she kept running, still she persisted
Till she outran her shadow and ran out her life
Some say that she ran faster than thought
And she could catch the waves of a laugh
Others say her physique was always so taut
She took the pictures and then outran the flash
“Life moved too slow, ” was her last known opinion
Before she ran herself into oblivion
poem by P.R. Prosper
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Winners
("The Story of the Gadsbys")
What the moral? Who rides may read.
When the night is thick and the tracks are blind
A friend at a pinch is a friend, indeed,
But a fool to wait for the laggard behind.
Down to Gehenna or up to the Throne,
He travels the fastest who travels alone.
White hands cling to the tightened rein,
Slipping the spur from the booted heel,
Tenderest voices cry " Turn again!"
Red lips tarnish the scabbarded steel,
High hopes faint on a warm hearth-stone--
He travels the fastest who travels alone.
One may fall but he falls by himself--
Falls by himself with himself to blame.
One may attain and to him is pelf--
Loot of the city in Gold or Fame.
Plunder of earth shall be all his own
Who travels the fastest and travels alone.
Wherefore the more ye be helpen-.en and stayed,
Stayed by a friend in the hour of toil,
Sing the heretical song I have made--
His be the labour and yours be the spoil.
Win by his aid and the aid disown--
He travels the fastest who travels alone!
poem by Rudyard Kipling
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
quote by Mitch Hedberg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.
quote by Jack Nicklaus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.
quote by Michelle Wie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.
quote by Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.
It takes having your golf peak four different times throughout the year. You have to like all four golf courses. You've got to be the best of that week for the four weeks.
quote by Karrie Webb
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!