It's true, you can never eat a pet you name. And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy.
quote by Alexander Theroux

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Only The Lonely (Live)
Dum-dum-dum dummy-doo-wah
Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah
Oh, oh oh oh, ooh-ah-ah,
Only the lonely, only the lonely
Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dum dummy-doo-wah)
Know the way I feel tonight (Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah)
Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dum dummy-doo-wah)
Know this feeling ain't right (Dum-dum-dum dummy-doo-wah)
There goes my baby (pum pum pum pum)
There goes my heart (pum pum pum pum)
They're gone forever (pum pum pum pum)
So far apart (pum pum pum pum)
But only the lonely
Know why I, I cry, only the lonely
(Dum-dum-dum dummy-doo-wah
Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah
Oh, oh oh oh, ooh-ah-ah
Only the lonely, only the lonely)
Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dum dummy-doo-wah)
Know the heartaches I've been through (Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah)
Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dum dummy-doo-wah)
Know I cry, cry for you (Dum-dum-dum dummy-doo-wah)
Maybe tomorrow (pum pum pum pum)
A new romance (pum pum pum pum)
No more sorrow (pum pum pum pum)
But that's the chance (pum pum pum pum)
You gotta take, if your lonely heart breaks
Only the lonely (Dum-dum-dum dummy-doo-wah
song performed by by Roy Orbison

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Twin Dummy
dummy says
I have dreams
frightening screams
I have dreams
dummy says
it's too late
big mistake
it's too late
the circus left without me
and I'm alone with you now
dummy says
stay with me
talk to me
stay with me
dummy says
holiday
come and play
holiday
big top
carousel
cotton candy
where am I?
fun house
acrobat
fortune teller
all of me, all fades away
dummy says
my dear friend
here you stand
my right hand
dummy says
'til the end
my dear friend
my right hand
===
song performed by by Voivod

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Dummy Man
Krayzie
Hey...who can take some bread crumbs (who can take some bread crumbs) mix it up
With soap
(mix it up with soap) create a 20 rock to make the fiends think it's dope? the
Dummy man
The dummy man/ ohhh...the dummy man can, the dummy man can/ the dummy man can
Cuz he gives 'em extra love to make 'em think it's all good/ and they think it's
All good...
song performed by by Krayzie Bone

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A Ventriloquist With Charm
It takes a certain skill,
To be able to talk from the side...
Of one's mouth.
And the ones who are capable,
Seem never to be ashamed...
If others are aware they do this,
With a shrewd intent to find someone to undermine.
It is as if they have rehearsed to perfection,
The abilities of a ventriloquist with charm to entertain.
Leaving behind one dummy to pick up another.
As those unfamiliar with their tactics,
Find them socially intriguing and mentally astute.
But connecting with direct eye contact is not their purpose.
Getting attention at anyone's expense is their goal to sting!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
D. I. Y.
Dont tell me what I will do, cos I wont
Dont tell me to believe in you, cos I dont
Be on your guard, better hostile and ha
--dont risk affection
Like flesh to the bone in the no-go zone
Youre still waiting for teh resurrection
Come up to me with your what did you say?
And Ill tell you straight in the eye
D.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y.
Do it yourself
Everyone want to be what he not, what he not
Nobody happy with what he got, what he got
You function like a dummy with a new ventriloquist
Do you say nothing yourself?
Hanging like a thriller on the final twist
--you know youre getting stuck on the shelf
Come up to me with your what did you say?
And Ill tell you straight in the eye
D.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y.
When things get so big, I dont trust them at all
You want some control -- youve got to keep it small
D.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y. d.i.y.
Do it yourself
song performed by by Peter Gabriel

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
When a Town Is Small
No one speaks for me.
No dummy am I,
On a ventriloquist knee.
If you wish to know
What makes me tick...
Pick up your telephone,
Call me quick!
You might even find me dared to be listed!
You don't have to run to my sisters to ask,
What am I doing...
When by me you drive right pass!
And pretend you don't see me,
You do that all the time!
I've known you have been away from 'yours'...
But my mind has been with me,
All this time!
I know you enjoy your gossipying...
But I do have an open line!
And unlike you my head is not up my behind!
There is too much in life to pursue.
But folks with small minds,
Believe they have a say in what others do!
And when a town is small...
Folks like these think they know it all!
Countrified and down homey!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Dummy's Life
My dummy rules the days
The real I hide deep
So many things it says
The dummy puts it to sleep.
The dummy is scared of me
For in fantasies I persist
It knows it can't afford to be
Like me an anarchist.
For food it must earn
It must do hard work
Life's skills it must learn
It must make its mark.
The real I if had its say
Would do none of these
He would shape his own day
Act as his wishes please.
Leisurely he would take his horse
To where the green touches the sky
Run at will and take a pause
Not allowing the dreams to die!
poem by Pradip Chattopadhyay

Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Dummy Song
Louis Armstrong--Dummy Song
I'll take the legs from some old table
I'll take the arms from some old chair
I'll take the neck from some old bottle
And from a horse I'll take the hair
I'll take the hands and face from some old clock
And baby when I'm through
I'll get more loving from the dum-dum-dummy
Than I ever got from you
Get me some legs get me a chair
And a bottle, too
Give a horse give me some time
And baby when I'm through
I'll take the legs from some old table
I'll take the arms from some old chair
I'll take the neck from some old bottle
And from a horse I'll take the hair
I'll take the hands and face from some old clock
And baby when I'm through
I'll get more loving from the dum-dum-dummy
Than I ever got from you
I get more loving from the dum-dum-dummy
Than I ever got from you
Yeah Mama get more loving
From a dummy than I get from you
song performed by by Louis Armstrong

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A Guide to Eating Meat
Eating a little beef
Could cause a Hindu grief,
Eating too much chicken
Can make a person sicken,
Eating lots of lamb
Is preferable to Spam,
Eating a leg of pork
Won't make the neighbours talk,
But eating Mum and Dad
Is DEFINITELY BAD! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison

Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Gaffes
Why are you laughing?
'It appears that the ventriloquist and the puppet,
Have different approaches to voice their points of view.'
You are not suppose to notice that.
Even though I must admit,
This performance has been a disaster.
And...
That shouldn't be a reason to laugh,
At such a blunderous gaffe.
'Oh,
I'm not laughing at the numerous gaffes.
I am laughing at those who are watching this show,
Who believe what is being presented is fantastic.'
Well...er..uh...
Hopefully the second act,
The ventriloquist and the puppet will agree...
The seriousness to agree on the economics,
Is what the listeners hope that can be mastered.
And stop laughing.
The audeince will think you are crazed.
'These days?
Does my reaction really matter? '
Kiss my buttocks.
And have some respect for those who are Polish.
'What?
How many puppets are in this entourage?
All of you are hysterical.'
You will regret that when you see the 'polls'.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Stranded On The Sahara Desert
'What's the matter?
What 'is' on your mind? '
I am happy.
With few petty complaints.
I get up in the morning,
Thankful to God for my life.
And I have a peace of mind,
Without a restraint.
I have a joy within,
That finds me grinning.
Although I am not materially rich...
I do pinch pennies,
For something I don't need.
But something, at the time, I wish!
I talk to the sun...
Hoping its rays will shine through clouds.
And when it rains on my parade?
I am crazed with love...
Soaking wet and shouting out loud.
To the ears of anyone.
I've had my share of disappointments.
Some of which left me in deep despair.
But I do keep my prayers focused,
And my faith intact is always there.
Knowing God has the best of my welfare.
'But why does it seem,
You are hopeless without dreams?
At least that's the way it appears.
Discovering you like this on this scene! '
I'm just here wishing for a way...
To share the cheers inside I feel.
Seeking to find an appeal...
To produce more smiles.
And remove frowns and tears.
Wanting to make 'that' for some unreal!
'You'd be better off being a ventriloquist!
Stranded on the Sahara Desert.'
Well...
At least 'there'
It will be more Sun!
And I'm sure whatever I say,
Wont be wasted on my tongue!
'AND you certainly will not need a 'dummy'
To capture 'all' of the attention!
You'll have lots of space,
To rehearse your fate!
And not a soul to disturb any decision heard,
You alone provide and will make! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Do Not Believe
Do not believe
Anything true
This east west
This birth death
This eating putting
This going coming
Do not believe
Anything anything.
Do not believe
There is sky
Do not believe
Birds fly
Animals cry
Do not believe
This defeat victory
This land this country
Here and there
You are not free.
Do not believe
Anything true
And you are not false
In this burning rows
There is no distinction
True false
And it is true
And it is false.
poem by Gajanan Mishra

Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Basically, though, I believe in eating well, not eating too much but eating a variety of foods.
quote by Joan Collins

Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!
Children are so used to seeing puppets that when they see a real ventriloquist they don't understand it.
quote by Paul Winchell

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Vegetarian Mumbo Jumbo
I dont want tofu Id rather have a mouthful of beef stew I dont want
To be a vegetarian why eat beans when you can have steak insted?
I dont feel bad about eating something thats dead why should I be
Sad for cows getting hit in the head? so I like eating fish tell me whats
Wrong with this how can you blame me for eating chicken of the sea?
Dont waste your breath yelling at me about animal rights and how they
Should be free its survival of the fittest and were winning I dont feel
Bad about eating something thats dead why should I be sad for chickens
Being force fed so I like eating fish tell me whats wrong with this how can
You blame me for eating chicken of the sea?
song performed by by NOFX

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
quote by Wendy Liebman

Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Hard To Swallow
We eat to live
We eat to grow
We eat to endulge ourselves,
In the greatness of food
We eat to provide comfort
We eat to be accepted
We eat as it is part,
Of our lives
Food comes in all different forms,
Shapes and sizes
It can be a bean as small as a nail
Or a christmas turkey the size of a horse
Food is a necessity
Food is a way of life
Food is enjoyed
Food is loved
But for some,
Food is despised
Eating brings pain
Eating brings weight
Eating brings illness
Eating brings hate
Eating means endless pain
A pain that wont stop,
Until the food inside,
Is forced out
Eating means weight gain and hurt
So,
It's best not to eat at all
The aching pain of hunger drifts away,
With several ibuprofein.
The battle with food is a constant struggle
To overcome the eating disorder
To take one bite,
And Swallow!
poem by Chris jones

Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Without Benefit of a Thaw
I can be cold.
And can detail my reasons.
I can choose anger to sit...
And have that expressed,
As if I were a ventriloquist!
Without moving my lips...
Giving much attitude,
That could be felt!
Throwing my 'inner' voice about!
Wherever I am.
And with different sounds of pain.
I am gifted to suppress that...
And not show how deep that is.
I can be humorous about it too.
Entertaining the best of crowds.
Trust me,
I am very familiar with 'showbiz'.
However...
Don't patronize what you surmise,
As a shallow understanding...
Of life.
And how I live mine.
I understand too well!
I can be cold.
And can detail my reasons.
I can choose anger to sit...
And have that expressed,
As if I were a ventriloquist!
Without moving my lips...
Giving much attitude,
That could be felt!
Throwing my 'inner' voice about!
You would not know where to go,
To exit from my wrath.
But you will know when I am cold.
You ever hear the expression,
'If looks could kill? '
I will not take that kind of time.
In my mind...
You will just be frozen,
Out of existence.
Without benefit of a thaw!
And I do the best I can,
Not to stoop that low.
However...
There are always a few
Who choose to preview,
The presentation!
And I deliver to them their shivers.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!