I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

quote by Wendy Liebman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

quote by Wendy Liebman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.

quote by Wendy Liebman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

quote by Wendy Liebman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

quote by Wendy Liebman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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