Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day - the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.
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EBAY
Parody of "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys
Yeah
A used...pink bathrobe
A rare...mint snow globe
A Smurf...TV tray
I bought on eBay
My house...is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay
Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay
I'll buy...your knick-knack
Just check...my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay
Gonna buy (a slightly damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay
I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, whatever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough
I'll buy...your tchotchkes
Sell me..your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy...)
I'm highest bidder now
(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that worldwide garage sale)
(Hey! A Dukes of Hazzard ashtray)
Oh yeah...(I bought it on eBay)
Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
(Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)
Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcett poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why...The kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)
What I bought on eBay
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The tests which showed that this was the only rifle which had the markings which were shown on the bullets; the fact that a man was seen by several witnesses, not identified, but seen in the window with the general description of what he looked like.
quote by John Sherman Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ebay
Anything you want you're sure to find
just turn on your Pc and go online
In the google search bar Type in EBAY
and start your shopping without delay
Designer dresses from a tenner
Tattoo's containing natural Henna...
Shhhhhhh Perfume by Jade Goody (RIP)
and an FCUK Knitted Hoodie
Buy it now or Bidding from..
don't miss out, cos it's ending soon..
So much choice where do I start...
but with my money I must part...
Forget the queues in shopping malls
EBAY really has it all.....
poem by Tracey TEE
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
quote by Dick Gregory
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In a far off summer
These are the fields, bushes and trees
where a boy cried heartbroken
in a far off summer,
when the bull
swiped his darling filly
with its horns
while she was drinking
at the trough
and that horse fell twitching
on her back
with her guts ripped out
and she had to be shot
and his older brother
brought the.303 rifle
with only one bullet
and was determined
to take the shot,
but the filly moved her head
and the bullet when up her nose
and there was blood everywhere
while she neighed in pain
and he ran as fast as he could
while weeping
to get some more bullets
and without a word
took the rifle from his older brother
put a bullet in the slot and cocked it
brought the firearm to his shoulder
and took a deep breath
before squeezing the trigger.
His favourite horse was slain
and the pain was great
and almost unbearable for him
and his brother tried to comfort
but there wasn’t anything
that he could do or say
to take that pain away.
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hannah Armstrong
I wrote him a letter asking him for old times' sake
To discharge my sick boy from the army;
But maybe he couldn't read it.
Then I went to town and had James Garber,
Who wrote beautifully, write him a letter.
But maybe that was lost in the mails.
So I traveled all the way to Washington.
I was more than an hour finding the White House.
And when I found it they turned me away,
Hiding their smiles. Then I thought:
"Oh, well, he ain't the same as when I boarded him
And he and my husband worked together
And all of us called him Abe, there in Menard."
As a last attempt I turned to a guard and said:
"Please say it's old Aunt Hannah Armstrong
From Illinois, come to see him about her sick boy
In the army."
Well, just in a moment they let me in!
And when he saw me he broke in a laugh,
And dropped his business as president,
And wrote in his own hand Doug's discharge,
Talking the while of the early days,
And telling stories.
poem by Edgar Lee Masters
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Sex Never Goes Out Of Fashion
She's the kind of girl who likes to do it stand up
From the back or anyway you want it, love
From the top if you keep it going all night
You're as good as the next for a fun time
Lookie here like a rabbit on the dancefloor
Party girl like you comin' in the back door
"c'mon boy, give it good, give an encore.."
Never leave a hungry sister begging one more
You keep it good and she'll beat you at your own game
Flip a switch and she's crying out her own name
Keep a lady happy as a little lamb
Give her head and you're riding on a sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
Wham bam slam it like a mama's man
Baby's on her back doin' the can-can
Such a babe-licious poco loco
Make her bob, make her beg and sweat it hardcore
Honky tonky lovin' keep her trembling
Funky style's never out of fashion, man
Keep it fresh with something for the weekend
Get some, daddy... You're riding on a sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
A little bit more
(Down her legs)
A little bit more
(Down her back)
A little bit more
(Down her neck)
A little bit more
(Down her arms)
A little bit more
(Down her breast)
A little bit m
song performed by by Garbage
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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5. The Cat
The cat shot over the sleeping dog
And caught it with his paw
The cat shot over the table
Dog chased him through the door
The cat shot over the TV
And Landed in a chair
The cat shot over the ceiling light
Springs shot him through the air
The cat shot over the mirror
A cat gave him a fright
The cat shot over his image
But didn’t want to fight
The cat shot over the fireplace
Burnt tail on red hot coal
The cat shot over the hearthrug
Like a firework on a roll
The cat shot over the window ledge
Burnt curtains caught in the nets
The cat shot over in dad’s old car
For a visit to the vets
poem by David Threadgold (2008)
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Challenge to the Dark
shot in the eye
shot in the brain
shot in the ass
shot like the affectionate mom
planting her kiss
everywhere over her sweet child
inspired by
A Challenge To The Dark
shot in the eye
shot in the brain
shot in the ass
shot like a flower in the dance
Charles Bukowski
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I lost interest in firearms because we had a dog that was scared to death of the sound of a rifle shot.
quote by James Spader
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To become oneself, with all one's strength. Difficult. A bomb, a speech, a rifle shot -- and the world can look a different place. And then where is this self
quote by Christa Wolf
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Was Only Telling A Lie
Got the one room suite in the downtown motel
Got a lovely view
Classic shot of the parking lot
An off ramp of route 72
Half flat six pack of lukewarm beer
So lay down by my side
Like to whisper sweet nothings in my filthy ear
til Im satisfied
Baby-bootie, juicy-fruity, truck-stop cutie, roadside-beauty
Im in love with you
Hope it dont last too long
You got the mackerel eyes
Brought the side of fries
You got me hypnotized
Im in love again
Now baby when I told you that
I love you
I was only telling a lie
Ill be long gone come the crack of dawn
And I believe the word is
Good-bye, bye baby, bye, bye
I was only telling a lie
There aint no need to act like i
Shot your dog, no
I was only telling a lie
Lie, lie, lie, lie...
song performed by by James Taylor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Passion governs
My mother dropped the glass.
My wife dropped the glass.
My servant dropped the glass
My child dropped the glass.
My sweetheart dropped the glass
I dropped the glass.
My reactions are different.
The depth of passion governs.
01.09.2007
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Grafted Into the Army
Our Jimmy has gone for to live in a tent,
they have grafted him into the Army,
he finally puckered up courage and went,
when they grafted him into the Army.
I told them the child was too young, alas!
At the captains forequarters, they said he would pass,
they'd train him up well in the Infantry class,
so they grafted him into the Army.
Oh, Jimmy, farewell! Your brothers fell way down in Alabammy;
I though they would spare a lone widder's heir,
but they grafted him into the Army.
Dressed up in his unicorn, dear little chap,
they have grafted him into the Army;
it seems but a day since he sot in my lap,
but they grafted him into the Army.
And these are the trousies he used to wear,
them very same buttons, the patch and the tear;
but Uncle Sam gave him a bran' new pair
when they grafted him into the Army.
Now in my provisions I see him revealed,
they have grafted him into the Army;
a picket beside the contented field,
they have grafted him into the Army.
He looks kinder sickish -- begins to cry,
a big volunteer standing right in his eye!
Oh, what if the ducky should up and die,
now they've grafted him into the Army.
poem by Henry Clay Work
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Kill Somebody
This is a rifle, this is a gun
This is for killing and this is for fun
This is a rifle, this is a gun
This is for killing and this is for fun
This is a rifle, this is a gun
This is for killing and this is for fun
This is a rifle, this is a gun
This is for killing and this is for fun
When the boys cry, in the morning light
And they take their guns and leave their girls and step outside
And they all feel blue, ´cause theyre waiting still
For the enemy on the other side theyre going to kill
You better kill somebody, you better kill somebody
You better kill somebody, you better kill somebody
You better kill
When the bombers come, with the rising sun
And the dreams of glory and blue eyed heros all have gone
On the other side sits the enemy
And Im sure he wont invite for a cup of tea
song performed by by Fury In The Slaughterhouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Day they Murdered Camelot
.
One afternoon in Dallas, Texas
November, Nineteen sixty three
A brace of shots were fired
That would enter history
With Jacqueline beside him
in the presidential Limousine
John Kennedy was waving
taking in the happy scene.
Coming out of Dealy plaza
They made the turn on Elm
No shots had yet been fired
The day was mild and warm.
From above, Oswald was waiting
In the book deposit loft
His rifle at the ready
His prey scoped and crossed.
“You can't say that they don't love you”
the governor's wife said
From behind a shot was fired
a scoped rifle spitting lead.
J.F.K. then clutched his throat
And John Connelly his side
A second bullet hit a curb
and ricocheted aside.
The third shot was the killing shot
bone and brain cells flying
The Marines had trained the sniper well
and Camelot was dying.
That afternoon in Dallas
As darkness was descending
Did he think about his children
as consciousness was ebbing?
“Make for Parkland Hospital”
The secret service screamed
they'd failed to save the president
But who had done the deed?
Walter Cronkite told the nation
that Camelot was dead.
L.B.J. on Air Force One
became the nation’s head.
Back on the Streets of Dallas
Oswald had killed again.
An officer named Tippit
Lay in the gutter, dead.
Oswald was apprehended
In a movie house nearby
They found his nest and rifle
What they never found was why...
A nation mourned its President
on his final Caisson ride
and watched his little boy salute
standing by his Mother's side.
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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One Shot At Love
One shot
Oh lord
You know, its gonna be a lot of negative things surroundin you
Tryin to pull you down
But what you have to remember is
Its up to you - its your choice
You only get one shot in life
And you only get one shot at love
Did you ever notice - everytime you fall in love
And it seems like you finally met the perfect match
Everything is perfect, it seems divine
But for some strange reason, theres always a catch
Its a one-way relationship, it hurts inside
One person smirks while the other one cries
Butterflies in the stomach of the one whose in love
It cuts like a knife, the truth mixed with lies
One shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
Thats all you get
Physical and mental, those are two different loves
Physicals a moment, mental is forever
If the physical fades and gets weak, all of a sudden
Remember, its the mental love that keeps you together
You gotta be strong and endure the hard times
Cause af-ter hard times, good times, always follow
And when youre kissin and huggin and makin love
Treat that person like theres no tomorrow
One shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
Thats all you get baby; one shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
One shot at love, one.. shot.. (one shot at love..)
Thats all you get {*sniff*}
Jealousy - dont let it interfere
Dont let it come in between
The love you two share, cause jealousys a hateful god
So merciless and mean
And its only job in life, is to ruin relationships
And pit two people against, one another
And because of this god, the one you love so much
Will no longer be your lover
One shot (one shot at love..)
Aww baby, one shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
Thats all we get, one shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
I mean this baby, one shot at love, one shot (one shot at love..)
Thats all..
I hope you understand what I just said
All Im sayin is that you only get one shot at love in life
And you have to hold on to that shot, take advantage of it
Cause when you lose it, its gonna hurt real bad
Take it from me
You only get one shot, and I mean that
One shot
You only get you only get you only get one (2x)
One shot at love..
You only get you only get you only get one (2x)
One shot at love..
You only get you only get you only get one (2x)
One shot at love..
You only get you only get you only get one (2x)
One shot at love.. {*fades*}
song performed by by LL Cool J
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shot Of Love
(come on now,
Come on, come on, yeah, ow!)
Come on honey, take a trip with me
Well take a double shot of ectasy
Ill drink some water from a wooden cup
And keep a rockin til the sun comes up
Chorus:
And I warn you
Its the best shot of your life
And I warn you
Its the best shot of your life
Shot of love
Shot of love
Rock you little lady make you blow and bleed
A little bit of what you need is guaranteed
Come on now honey well get full of desire
A humping and a bumping till we start a fire (a huffin and a puffin) ?
Chorus
(shot of love - Im gonna make you plead)
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, awright ooh hoo hoo baby oh baby)
Chorus
Shot of love
Like to plead?
Shot of love, shot of love, shot of love
A humping and pumping got you jumping
Shot of love, shot of love, shot of love
A little bit of what you need is guaranteed
Shot of love, shot of love, shot of love
Let me warn you, Im coming for you
Shot of love, shot of love, shot of love
Shot of love, shot of love
Come on give me shot of love
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Smalltime Shot Away
3d :
Tucked it in
Dropped a lie
Turn me off
(I travel I travel)
We never leave each other cause we leave each other so cold
It makes a madder way
The easy part is taking yourself in
Its wartime every time
A shot away
Wipe the smile from your face
Its getting in the way
Its wartime every time
She caught me on a lie and she turned me off
She made it cold
You couldnt do it if you wanted to
(believe me believe me)
Its wartime every time
Small talk every time
Its my favourite chloroform
Its pillow talk every time
Get it out the way
Friction war
Shot away
Ricochet
Were like identical twins
Sucking on the same teat
Spitting out the same things
(I travel far, I travel far)
Its wartime every time
Small talk every time
Its my favourite chloroform
Its pillow talk every time
Getting out the way
Friction war
Ricochet
Lineem up and knockem down
A shot away
A shot away
A shot away
A shot away
song performed by by Massive Attack
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gimme Shelter
Oh, the storm is threatening
My very life today.
If I dont get some shelter
Oh yeah, Im gonna fade away
War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
See the fire sweepin
Our very streets today
Burns like a red coal carpet
Mad bull lost its way
War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
Well, murder
Its just a shot away
Well, murder
Its just a shot away
Brother, sister
Its just a kiss away
Well, murder
Its just a kiss away, kiss away, kiss away
song performed by by Goo Goo Dolls
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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