I've waffled before. I'll waffle again.
quote by Howard Dean
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Waffle King
It took a lifetime, but I finally found
The perfect waffle recipe
Youll never find a batter any better in this whole stinkin town
One little bite and Im sure that youll agree
Your eyes roll back and your knees get weak
Aw, youre gonna lick your plate clean
People come from miles around just to study my technique
I make the best darn waffles this world has ever seen
Im the waffle king (waffle king)... yeah
Waffle king (waffle king)
Thats what they call me
Waffle king (waffle king)
Hey, Im the waffle king
Everywhere I go, the people cheer
I never have to wait in line
People say, right this way, sir... your moneys no good here.
Some day I betcha theyll build me a shrine
And everybody say, well, Im your biggest fan!
I seen your picture in people magazine!
Folks come from around the world just to shake my hand
If you dont believe in the power of the waffle lemme show you just what I mean
Im the waffle king (waffle king)
Make you want to scream and shout
Waffle king (waffle king)
Thats my name, dont wear it out
Waffle king (waffle king)
Make no mistake about it Im the waffle king... yeah
Roll out the red carpet, cause here I come
All you peons better scram
Out of my way, you worthless piece of scum
Dont you know who I am?
Hey!
I wanna see you grovel, you waffle-eatin fools
Everybody, on your knees
You wanna buy a waffle, youre playin by my rules
Go on, beg me... lemme hear you say pretty please
Cant you tell the universe revolves around me?
Dont you know you suckers owe me everything?
And cant you see that Im the highest form of life that there could ever be?
Everybody all around the world, stand up and sing
Come on know...
Waffle king
Hey, batter batter
Waffle king
Hot on your platter
Waffle king
Say, whats the matter
Dont you know who I am?
Dont you know who I am?
Tell em, girls
(hes the wa wa wa wa wa wa waffle king)
Yeah yeah
(hes the wa wa wa wa wa wa waffle king)
Tell the truth now
(hes the wa wa wa wa wa wa waffle king)
Dont you know who I am?
Dont you know who I am?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The End
This is the end
My only friend, the end
This is the end
My only friend, the end
I'll offer you some
I'll offer you sexualism and a masculine man
You can rephrase my friend (alt: you can deface my grave, my friend)
The killer woke up in Belgium
And he poured a lot of syrup on his waffles
And he walked on down the hall
And he said, all I want is to have some hasbrowns and some grits
And then he walked on down the hall
And then he said, listen I got a quarter in my pocket
And I see that waffle house jukebox
And I'm gonna walk up to the coinslot
And then there's a direst line between my pupil and that cionslot
And I lift that quarter out of my pocket
And I said, I wanna hear the waffle house theme
So I walk up to the jukebox, and I said
Come on in
I believe I will, I believe I will
At the waffle house
I got a six pack and nothin' to do
song performed by by Nirvana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Why can't I just eat my waffle?
quote by Barack Obama
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
quote by Mitch Hedberg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Placebo Effect
Is it encaged in a 'coock a doodle do'
Or placed in a waffle art
Is it all alpha and omega
Or all null and void
Is it tug of war on for hankering gains
Is it a 'booty' after a war-mongering pains
Is it a leaf of palm trees
Or an orchestra of melodious musical string
poem by Hafiz Qasim
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Original Wrapper
I was sittin home on the west end
Watchin cable tv with a female friend
We were watchin the news, the worlds in a mess
The poor and the hungry, a world in distress
Herpes, aids, the middle east at full throttle
Better check that sausage, before you put it in the waffle
And while youre at it, check whats in the batter
Make sure that candys in the original wrapper
Hey, pitcher, better check that batter
Make sure that candys in the original wrapper
Reagan says abortions murder
While hes looking at cardinal oconnor
Look at jerry falwell louis farrakhan
Both talk religion and the brotherhood of man
They both sound like they belong in teheran
Watch out, theyre goin full throttle
Better check that sausage, before you stick it in the waffle
And while youre at it better check, whats in the batter
Make sure that candys in the original wrapper
Hey, pitcher, better check that batter
Make sure that candys in the original wrapper
White against white, black against jew
It seems like its 1942
The baby sits in front of mtv
Watching violent fantasies
While dad guzzles beer with his favorite sport
Only to find his heroes are all coked up
Classic, original, the same old story
The politics of hate in a new surrounding
Hate if its good and hate if its bad
And if this all dont make you mad
Ill keep yours and Ill keep mine
Nothing sacred and nothing divine
Father, bless me, were at full throttle
Better check that sausage, before you put it in the waffle
And while youre at it better check that batter
Make sure the candys in the original wrapper
Hey, pitcher, better check that batter
Make sure that candys in the original wrapper, hey, hey
I was born in the united states
And I grew up hard but I grew up straight
I saw a lack of morals and a lack of concern
A feeling that theres nowhere to turn
Yippies, hippies and upwardly mobile yuppies
Dont treat me like Im some dumb lackey
cause the murderer lives while the victims die
Id much rather see it an eye for an eye
A heart for a heart, a brain for a brain
And if this all makes you feel a little insane
Kick up your heels, turn the music up loud
Pick up your guitar and look out at the crowd, and say, -
- dont mean to come on sanctimonious
But lifes got me nervous and little pugnacious
Lugubrious so I give a salutation
And rock on out to beat really stupid
Ohh, poop, ah, doo and how do you do
Hip hop gonna bop till I drop.
Watch out world, comin at you full throttle
Better check that sausage, before you put it in the waffle
And while youre at it better check that batter
Make sure the candys in the original wrapper
Hey, hey, pitcher, better check that batter
Make sure the candys in the original wrapper
Hey, pitcher, better check that batter
Make sure the candys in the original wrapper, hey, hey, hey
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let's
Let's listen to some waffle
Let's waste some time away
And laugh at all the teachers...
Let's go to school today.
Let's stroll along the pavement
Let's scruffily be dressed;
To make sure no-one passes us
Let's gather six abreast.
Let's light up in the toilets
Let's bang upon the desks
Then walk out of the classroom,
Let's all refuse the tests.
Let's snigger at the swotters
Let's blow this rigmarole;
Let's go and get some money:
Let's all sign on the dole.
(Written Aug 1996)
poem by John Carter Brown
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Christmas Memories Of Weird Al Yankovic
Hello, this is weird al yankovic.
You know, some of my favorite memories are those of christmastime. I still remember when I was a little boy, just waiting for the big day. mom would be cooking up a mess of boysenberry and tunafish burritos for our big christmas dinner, and dad would be decorating the tree with little bits of spam. and then, the big day would finally arrive. Id stay up all night and wait for santa, a-and when he finally showed up, wed all hold his hands down in the waffle maker until he promised to give us everything we wanted! ah, yeah, those were the days. well, merry christmas everybody, and, lets do lunch.
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Unthreatened Dark horse
Unthreatened
Dark horse,
Ten o’clock in the line of fire
At the cutting edge
When all's said and done
Around the corner schoolyard
Under the trees
In the twinkling of an eye
Laughing and joking
While sleeping
Full of joie de vivre,
A lot of fun,
Close the eyes to
It appears that
From head to foot
Whiffed-waffle
Unthreatened
Dark horse,
Prasetya Utama
Bogor
Rabu,22 Februari 2006
poem by Prasetya Utama
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A Piece of Heaven
The delicate chilled surface indented as I took a bite
I felt a coolness ooze down my throat
Filled to capacity with nuts, sprinkles, and chocolate raisins
Oh! What delight!
The taste of vanilla and chocolate swirl filled my mind
And suddenly I was in a whole new place
My own escape, freedom of the world past
Oh! What delight!
Next, I heard the crunch of the waffle cone
The perfect shape crumbling against my teeth
Then it was over and I was back to reality
Oh! It was truly a delight!
poem by Kiana Valdez
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The Sniffle
In spite of her sniffle
Isabel's chiffle.
Some girls with a sniffle
Would be weepy and tiffle;
They would look awful,
Like a rained-on waffle,
But Isabel's chiffle
In spite of her sniffle.
Her nose is more red
With a cold in her head,
But then, to be sure,
Her eyes are bluer.
Some girls with a snuffle,
Their tempers are uffle.
But when Isabel's snivelly
She's snivelly civilly,
And when she's snuffly
She's perfectly luffly.
poem by Ogden Nash
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Daybreak Song
Daybreak Song
Soon it will be morning and I can’t have drink
only rummies drink in the morning.
But I have a fear inside me that will not go away
and I know all the smart people will say something
like; “face the truth, ” but not saying what that
truth is. And if you are impolite and ask them
they waffle about their childhood and you can see
they are not being honest. Now I have a watch
on my arm, I never had a wrist watch before but
the woman I live with bought me one as it would be
good for my self respect, like I should go around
hating myself. On the terrace I can see a new day is
about to break, I do not like the idea of that, but
will not worry about it I will simply postpone my
dreams and sleep till sunlight hits my face and
I know it will be ten in the morning and I can´t have
a drink unless I’m a rummy.
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Physical
Rosie - we're talkin' to women over 35.
Olivia - you do a self-examination.
Rosie - we got another thing to keep you alive, give your boobs a squeeze!
Olivia - a mammogram makes sure that you have healthy breasts.
Rosie - no different than a cold waffle iron...
Olivia - reminds me of having my blue jeans pressed.
Rosie - so make your move and please.
Together - get a physical, physical, call and get a physical. schedule a physical
Get yourself a mammogram, you'll thank us ma'am. get yourself a mammogram.
Olivia - you can do it 'cause your strong. it only hurts for 5 seconds.
Rosie - uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh... whether they're tiny, big, or long, you know what they need.
Olivia - if you feel a marble, a pea, or a flaw, don't be shy just get it checked.
Rosie - be a trend setter, just whip off your bra! start a health stampede!
Together - get a physical, physical! it's time for your physical. don't say
You're to busyical. get yourself a mammogram, thank you ma'am. get yourself
A mammogram!
song performed by by Olivia Newton-John
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Brews
Friday night well be drinkin manashevitz
Goin out to terrorize goyem
Stompin shagitz, screwin shicksas
As long as were home by saturday mornin
Cause hey were the brews
Sportin anti swastika tattoos
Oi oi were the boys
Orthodox, hesidic, o.g. ois
Orthopedic dr. martins good for
Waffle making, kickin through the shin
Reputation, gained through intimidation
Pacifism no longer tradition
Cause hey were the brews
Sportin anti swastika tattoos
Oi oi were the brews
The fairfax ghetto boys skinheaded jews
We got the might, psycho mashuganas
We cant lose a fight, as we are the chosen ones
Chutspah, we battle then we feast
We celebrate, well separate our milkplates from our meat
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tale of Three Cities
New York blasted London blasted
Singapore -
Ripped off each other's metaphoric balls,
Crumbling walls.
Priapic city monoliths -
Blue-sky scraping bastards -
Shout about their height (but really length) .
V8 arseholes didn't care -
Pumping shit into the air,
So long as they were always there to
Fart aloud a smoggy cloud,
Laughing at the weak asthmatic,
Humoured that it seems traumatic.
Watch the greedy cities oozing
Chair-bound fat committees, though they
Look a bunch of titties as they
Waffle on about the pound.
Ever thought to look around and see
That they were dead?
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
city city city city city city
city city city city city city
city city city city city city
city city city city city city
city city city city city city
city city city city city city
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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An Elpees Worth Of Toons
Whos that on the racks again?
A portrait of a crazy man
Trying to make a living off an elpees worth of toons
A picture of a soul in pain
Trying to change the world with an elpees worth of toons
Theres something at the heart of it thats simply awful
A man who makes a living off a plastic waffle
Sweat is forming on my brow
Not a thing can help me now
My life is on the line for an elpees worth of toons
I can see the write-ups now
The multitudes are crying for an elpees worth of toons
A man would simply have to be as mad as a hatter
To try to change the world with a plastic platter
Whats your problem, sonny?
Whats your problem, son?
I want to be loved
song performed by by Todd Rundgren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Quetch
Tendril wafted dunes
of barren sands waffle,
swirl across mile
upon mile in every direction-
your face appears a horizon away,
there is little comfort found
in accompanying echoes.
Drifting sticks
wail in the pitched wind,
stretched on distant recollection-
stylus of the scribe named Regret;
each flurrying breeze
turns a new page,
taking with it freshly shed tears.
Foetid droppings
of some wastrel desert vagabond
provide a vivid reminder
of how it can never be again,
to kick it away
would only contaminate
these well worn wandering shoes.
Head facing forward
wherever the nose points
except in the back of the mind
where the oasis burbles-
each leafy frond conceals
intimate moments now buried
within the unmindful desert's gut.
poem by Frederick Kesner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Erection
Erection
August heat I sent in a comment to an article in the Guardian,
dislike many of their readers, but it is a good paper, even if it
tends to lose its nerves and waffle a bit when the pressure is on.
I look to see if anything is written about lack of erection, not long
ago my member could carry a beach towel, a party trick for one
witness, now it will not even carry a paper napkin. I could write
and ask the woman who is married to a comedian and has a sexual
healing column in the Guardian, only I don`t like her much I think
she’s fraud; and the comedian she married stop being funny after
he dastardly divorced his first wife and married her. When working
class people are successful they tend to marry “up” that is because
they meet lots of new and well spoken people, who flatter them,
but they are wrong they will be sandpapered down lose their strength
to suit the middle class taste; rich they will be, so who cares?
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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State Of Utter Bliss
Had a lovely time wolfing down a waffle, talking to the marvellous
manager of our local restaurant, my storybook hugely entertaining,
laughing unrestrainedly while swirling in whirl of social schedules
then wafting everywhere enveloped in an atmosphere of good-will
Breaking the evil spell laid upon me by a horrible text, when typing
lower-case the computer changed typescript into capitals, setting
fireworks off in my head, a red mist covered my eyes destroying
my comprehension till only my inner Mr Hyde was left, Dr Jekyll
Left in a huff; I researched equivalent English terms - but nothing
made sense and in the end there was no progress, I was wasting
my time being miserable to no effect - I stopped throwing good
money after bad, feasted my eyes on the book I love
Then proceeded to eat and read myself into a state of utter bliss…
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Holiday Greetings 1987
Hi, this is weird al yankovic, and Id just like to take this opportunity to say:
Merry christmas
Merry christmas
Merry christmas
Hello, this is weird al yankovic, hoping that your new year isnt a torture-filled living hell, and that you finally decide to do something worthwhile with your miserable, wretched lives. thank you
Hello, this is weird al yankovic, and Id like to wish you all a merry christmas and a happy new year. and to all my japanese friends, feliz navidad
Hi, this is weird al yankovic, wishing you and yours a very merry christmas. and now, heres a cheery little number I wrote about death, destruction, and the end of the world, called christmas at ground zero
Hello, this is weird al yankovic.
You know, some of my favorite memories are those of christmastime. I still remember when I was a little boy, just waiting for the big day. mom would be cooking up a mess of boisenberry and tunafish burritos for our big christmas dinner, and dad would be decorating the tree with little bits of spam
And then, the big day would finally arrive. Id stay up all night and wait for santa, a-and when he finally showed up, wed all hold his hands down in the waffle maker until he promised to give us everything we wanted
Ah, yeah, those were the days. well, merry christmas everybody, and, lets do lunch
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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