So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'
Related quotes
Jugurtha
How cold are thy baths, Apollo!
Cried the African monarch, the splendid,
As down to his death in the hollow
Dark dungeons of Rome he descended,
Uncrowned, unthroned, unattended;
How cold are thy baths, Apollo!
How cold are thy baths, Apollo!
Cried the Poet, unknown, unbefriended,
As the vision, that lured him to follow,
With the mist and the darkness blended,
And the dream of his life was ended;
How cold are thy baths, Apollo!
poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Ultima Thule: Jugurtha
How cold are thy baths, Apollo!
Cried the African monarch, the splendid,
As down to his death in the hollow
Dark dungeons of Rome he descended,
Uncrowned, unthroned, unattended;
How cold are thy baths, Apollo!
How cold are thy baths, Apollo!
Cried the Poet, unknown, unbefriended,
As the vision, that lured him to follow,
With the mist and the darkness blended,
And the dream of his life was ended;
How cold are thy baths, Apollo!
poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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I Go Swimming
Ooh, I go swimming, swimming in the water
Swimming in the river, swimming in the sea
I go swimming
I go swimming, swimming in the water
Swimming in the pool, swimming is cool
I go swimming
The sun is burning, I am yearning
For the waterflow (waterflow)
Next to my skin i, like to begin a
Waterflow (waterflow)
Letting off steam I float in a dream,
I cant let go (cant let go)
Follow my wishes, follow the fishes
Down below (down below)
I go swimming
I need water, water to drink
Water on my brain, water sustain,
Water over me
I want water, water I need
Water to think, water to drink
Water over me
The sun is burning, I am yearning
For the waterflow (waterflow)
Next to my skin i, like to begin a
Waterflow (waterflow)
Letting off steam I float in a dream,
I cant let go (cant let go)
Follow my wishes, follow the fishes
Down below (down below)
I go swimming
I go swimming, I go swimming
Swimming in water, swimming in water, swimming in water
Water all over me
Swimming in water, swimming in water, swimming in water
I go swimming, I go swimming
I go swimming, I go swimming
Swimming, I go swimming
Oh I go swimming, I go swimming
Water all over me
Swimming in water, swimming in water, swimming in water
Water all over me
Swimming in water, swimming in water, swimming in water
Water all over me
Swimming in water, swimming in water, swimming in water
Water all over me
song performed by by Peter Gabriel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Life is this
Swimming is
Not excise...
Swimming is
Not hobby...
Swimming is
Not work...
Swimming is
Life...
Yes...
Swimming is
Life...
For all fishess....
Boat and ship
Without breath...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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The Great Pretender
As a child, I pretended I had magical powers
To make friends,
I pretended I was psychic
So friends could consult me,
I pretended I had strange illnesses
To avoid the chlorinated swimming baths
On wet grey Mondays..........................
poem by Lizelah Thaugally
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Your mind's ocean
Swimming away
swimming away
swimming away yeah
swimming through the deep blue ocean
nothing but red skies ahead
so put on ya hat and sun screen lotion
operation over cooperation
go swimming in your mind's ocean
The water so still
and the wind in motion
i'll be up and alive
before i'm down and moping
wake up in the water
before you drown
i'll make you want to smile
with my speechless frown
so put on ya hat and sun screen lotion
operation over anticipation
go swimming in your mind's ocean
Thoughts of doom and no hope
I'll dropp them in the oceans deep
To save my eyes when i grope
Dead to the world in this cool sleep
Swimming away
Swimming away
we'll swim all night
And walk all day
so put on ya hat and sun screen lotion
operation over destination
Lets go swimming
Lets go Swimming
in your mind's ocean
poem by Allen Steble
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The capacity of the commonwealth government created under the local constitution to exercise governmental powers in local affairs is like that of local government in the states of the union in regard to non-federal affairs at the local level.
quote by Dick Thornburgh
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Local television and local TV news isn't telling the voters about local candidates.
quote by Reed Hundt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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2008: Grandpa Will Never Be Asked To Help With Homework Again
Had the grandkids overnight
Dinner baths and do homework
Before TV - - - their Mom said
Before TV
I cleared and washed dishes
Grandma supervised baths
Then homework - - -
To speed things up
I offered to help so I could see TV too
Working on silent 'e's
Grandma came up with cut to cute
I added butt to butte
Never to be asked again
poem by Tom J. Mariani
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Does a Fish go Pee?
Does a fish go pee
when it's swimming in the sea?
Does it ever get the notion
when it's swimming in the ocean?
Does a fish take a leak
when it's swimming in the creek?
Do they do it in a muddle
when you see them in a puddle?
Does a fish ever miss when it's taking a @! &%
and they find urination
in the farmer's irrigation?
Do you think they're rather fond
of going potty in the pond...
and then, for goodness sake,
do they go while in the lake?
Do they tinkle at all
while in the waterfall?
Could you see a yellow gleam
as they do it in the stream?
Now take a little quiz:
Does a fish ever whiz?
Does a fish go pee
when it's swimming in the sea?
(Written in 1990)
poem by Cathe Ferguson
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I'm swimming but can't.
I'm swimming but sinking.
I'm swimming but can't.
haiku by Raven Bishop
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I Am Going For A Swimm
I am going for
Swimm in God's
Swimming pool
And at the same time
I feel that I am being blessed by God
While I am swimming in his swimming pool
poem by Aldo Kraas
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Wrong Girl
I'm eyeballing the wrong girl,
The noise and the splashes,
Of a local swimming pool,
So many people swimming,
But I'm not watching them-
I don't care who wins.
I'm looking at a girl,
An emotionally beautiful girl,
But wait…
All my life I've been told of the white wedding,
And two kid dream-
A handsome husband,
For whom I'll cook and clean…
Back to the real-
I long for the softness,
The sweetness only she can provide-
And the mock innocence of the act itself,
Mock- being the word,
And I can't help but wonder when I show the world I love her,
Will they see me truly for the love?
I show to her?
Or will they see the wrong- only what they wish to believe
Is it a wrong lifestyle that I wish to lead?
But still it can't be wrong of me to see her in this light-
When her hurricane-like eyes stare at me with perfection,
Sealing the deed with a hungry and soft kiss…
poem by Ally Gunther
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I went to the local schools, the local state primary school, and then to the local grammar school. A secondary school, which technically was an independent school, it was not part of the state educational system.
Holiday In Waikiki
I won a competition in a little column in my local paper.
So I packed my bags and flew across the sea all on my local paper.
I sailed to hawaii in the u.s.a.
Im just an english boy who won a holiday in waikiki.
I didnt realize it was commercialized when I unpacked my cases,
Because a genuine hawaii ukulele cost me 30 guineas,
And even when Im swimming I have to pay.
Im just an english boy who won a holiday in waikiki.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Across the coral sands I saw a hula hula dancer, looking pretty.
I asked her where she came from and she said to me,
I come from new york city,
And my mother is italian,
And my dads a greek.
Im just an english boy who won a holiday in waikiki.
Its a hooka hooka on the shiny briny on a wake a hola[? ],
And in a little shack they had a little sign that said coca cola,
And even all the grass skirts were pvc.
Im just an english boy who won a holiday in waikiki.
Oh yeah, yeah.
In waikiki
In waikiki
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Well, in pharmacology, if the effect is local, it's of course absolutely awkward to use it in any other way than as a local treatment.
quote by Arvid Carlsson
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The Red Sox are the local scapegoats. It's hard enough to play baseball without being the local scapegoat too.
quote by Michael Lewis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You know, my children go to a local, local catholic school just down the road.
quote by John Deacon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Pub or the Gym?
The Olympics is on it's way to the U.K.
but I remember the last one in Bejing
it caused lots and lots of couch potatoes
to take up Running, Swimming, and Cycling.
But that's what the Olympics can do
it can make you go suddenly to the Gym
go running for hours on the treadmill
lift heavy weights and go for a swim.
The unfit bought tracksuits and trainers
stopped smoking and going to the pub
they became regulars at Holland and Barrets
and spent a fortune at their local Health Club.
But alas all those years lying on the sofa
hadn't helped to strengthen the back
so that noise you heard whilst pumping iron
that was someone's Spine going crack.
But the novelty finally wore off
as the Gym became a living nightmare
so it was goodbye to circuit training
and hello again to the local The Dog and Hare.
So a word of warning to all you couch potatoes
watch out as the Olympics may get you off your settee
so I'd advice those who are out of condition
just lie there and watch it all on your T.V.!
poem by Kevin Halls
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Local color has a fatal tendency to remain local; but it is also true that the universal often borders on the void.
quote by Hervey Allen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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