I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again.
quote by Johnny Vegas
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
You always draw on your experiences with live audiences to know how to do comedy on films. You're working for a laugh that may or may not come six months later, but you're working in a vacuum at the time you are doing it.
quote by Theodore Bikel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Cant Stand It
Its hard being a man
Living in a garbage pail
My landlady called me up, ooohhh
She tried to hit me with a mop
I cant stand it anymore more
I cant stand it anymore more, oh
I cant stand it anymore more
But if candy would just come back
Itd be all right
Yeah, if candy would just come back
It would be all right, come on baby
I live with thirteen dead cats
A purple dog that wears spats
Theyre all out livin in the hall
And I cant stand it anymore
I cant stand it anymore more
I cant stand it anymore more
I cant stand it anymore more
But if candy would just come back
Itd be all right
Ooohhh, if candy would just come back
It would be all right, be all right now
Ah, come on baby
Im tired of living all alone
Yeah, nobody ever calls me on the phone
But when, ah, things start getting bad, ah
I just play my music louder
I cant stand it anymore more
I cant stand it anymore more
I cant stand it anymore more
I cant stand it, I cant stand it, oh
I cant stand it, I cant stand it
I cant stand it, I cant stand it, no
I cant stand it, I cant stand it, oh
I cant stand it, I cant stand it
I cant stand it, I cant stand it
I cant stand it, I cant stand it
I cant stand it, I cant stand it
...
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Voices Are Back
He saw flames in the department store
He tried to get the people to the safety of the door
There was no fire the voices were telling him what to do
You could see from his face he needs someone
To help pull him through
The voices are back theyre telling him what to do
The voices are back theyre telling him what to do
Ripping through the fabric between his world and the real
Hes trying to protect you but
The knife will know that your flesh meets steel
Took him to an institution
And they helped the voices go away
But he didnt have the right set of papers
So they put this boy in jail
The voices are back theyre telling him what to do
The voices are back theyre telling him what to do
Six weeks turned to twelve
He was locked up for twenty-three hours a day
The warden found him in his cell
His only crime was that he was ill
The voices are back theyre telling him what to do
The voices are back theyre telling him what to do
song performed by by Howard Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.
I think doing comedy is more difficult than doing noncomedic or tragic or whatever you want to call it. Because it's difficult to make all kinds of different audiences understand what you're doing, and moving you to laughter.
quote by Walter Matthau
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Cant Live Without You
Music :rudolf schenker
Lyrics:klaus meine
You stand in front of the band
With all those scarves in your hands
I see you play imaginary guitars
You people shaking your heads
Right till the end of the set
You really turn me on wherever we are
Cant live, cant live without you
Cant live, cant live without you
Cant live, cant live without you
Cant live, cant live without you
Put your hands in the air
So I can see you are there
I wanna see all your lights shining on
Want you to stand up and dance
Gonna leave you no chance
To take a breath between each single song
Cant live, cant live without you
Cant live, cant live without you
Cant live, cant live without you
Cant live, cant live without you
Stand up and shout
Were ready to rock, were ready to roll
Stand up and shout
Are you ready, are you ready
Come on and get it!
Cant live, cant live without you
Cant live, cant live without you
Cant live, cant live without you
Cant live, cant live without you
song performed by by Scorpions
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Baby, Not One More Dime
A parody of Britney Spear's Baby, One More Time
Oh baby, baby
How was I supposed to know
That our marriage would come to a end like this
God, what a mess
Oh baby, baby
You should know
I saw you with that ho
And now you're out of sight, yeah
I'm gonna show you how it's gonna be
Telling the judge, baby
Cos he needs to know now
Oh because
Chorus
Your greediness is killing me
I must confess
I can't believe that you want that much cash
For that
I should kick your lazy ass
Won't be your wife much longer
Oh baby, don't think
I'm gonna be paying your bills anymore
From now on
You can stand by the roadside with a sign
Cos ohh baby, baby
Oh no
No, no, no
You're not getting
Baby, not one more dime
Oh baby, baby
The reason I'm almost broke is you
Boy, you had me blinded
Oh pretty baby
There was nothing that you would't ask for
It's not gonna work out the way that you planned it
I'm gonna show you how it's gonna be
Telling the judge baby
Cos he needs to know, now
Oh because
Repeat chorus
Oh baby, baby
How was I supposed to know?
Oh pretty baby
I want you to know
I saw you with that ho
I must confess that your greediness is killing me
Don't you know?
I can't believe that you want that much cash
For that
All I'm gonna give you is this
A sign so you can stand out on the side of the road
Telling everybody worldwide
That from me Kevin Federline
You won't be getting
No
No, oh no, no, no
You won't be getting
Baby, not one more dime
2007 Ramona Thompson
poem by Ramona Thompson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In the West audiences think I am a stereotyped action star, or that I always play hitmen or killers. But in Hong Kong, I did a lot of comedy, many dramatic films, and most of all, romantic roles, lots of love stories. I was like a romance novel hero.
quote by Chow Yun Fat
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know if you're failing in drama, but you do know when you're failing in comedy. When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing, you know that you've failed.
quote by Carl Reiner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you check your ego at the door when it comes to comedy, you've got a pretty good shot at making a great movie that you can commit yourself to, you can jump off the proverbial cliff with, and have a great time, and the audiences respond to that.
quote by Dwayne Johnson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Run For Cover
See the man in white
Hes old he wouldnt dare to fight, to fight another
Rockin like a beast upon on a never ending dream
We love each other
Asking for a sign - the actions coming from behind
Lets run for cover
Feel the musics beat, we fight for rock
And in the heat we stand together
Were holding back for you when you fight
And we stand for one another
Were holding back for you, when you run for cover
And see those open eyes
When you are standing here tonight
Thats why - were holding back for you, when you run for cover
Restless in the night, we all stand up for this delight
We fight together
Were holding back for you when you fight
And we stand for one another
Were holding back for you, when you run for cover
Were holding back for you..........
song performed by by U. D. O.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Got You
I've got you, and that's all I want.
I won't forget, 'cause that's a whole lot.
When something's wrong, I feel uneasy.
You show me, tell me you're not teasin'.
I don't know why sometimes I get frightened.
You can see my eyes and tell that I'm not lying.
Look at you, you're a pageant.
You're everything that I've imagined.
I don't go out, now that you're here.
Sometimes we shout, but that's no problem.
I don't know why sometimes I get frightened.
You can see my eyes and tell that I'm not lying.
I don't know why sometimes I get frightened.
You can see my eyes and tell that I'm not lying.
There's no doubt, but when I'm with you.
When I'm without, I stay in my room.
Where do you go? I get no answer.
You're always out, it gets on my nerves...
I don't know why sometimes I get frightened.
You can see my eyes and tell that I'm not lying.
I don't know why sometimes I get frightened.
You can see my eyes and tell that I'm not lying.
I don't know why sometimes I get frightened.
You can see my eyes and tell that I'm not lying.
I don't know why sometimes I get frightened.
You can see my eyes and tell that I'm not lying
song performed by by Pearl Jam
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Back On My Feet
How many days will the wet weather last?
I want know will the clouds
When they roll back
Reveal a man in an old mac
Living on a park bench
Sitting on his own?
Cut the rain as it runs down the glass
Eventually through the lightning and thunder
We see a man going under
This is how it happens
This is what he said
I dont need love
Though temptation is sweet
Give me your hand
til Im back on me feet
Youre always telling me about my misery
Ive seen things you will never see
Dont pity me
Focus in on the breath of a man
Who takes a brown paper bag
From his knapsack
Between his whispers and wise cracks
Hes looking for permission
Screaming at the sky
I dont need love
Though temptation is sweet
Give me your hand
til Im back on me feet
Youre always telling me about my misery
Ive seen things you will never see
Dont pity me
Ill be right again
Be upright without you
Ill stand up again
Kick up a fuss again too
Cut back again to a girl walking by
Until the feet that are all shoes and no socks
Climb an invisible soap box
Laughing at the traffic
Shouting at the world
I dont need love
Though temptation is sweet
Give me your hand
til Im back on me feet
Youre always telling me about my misery
Ive seen things you will never see
Dont pity me
Ill stand up again
Kick up a fuss again too
Ill be right again
Be upright without you
We see a life through the eyes of a man
As he live and he dies
By a simple tattoo
Ill be back again
When I land on my feet
Ill stand up again
Kick up a fuss again, wouldnt you
Well there you go, though we tried hard to know him
Its there on his face
Hes a case where theres clearly no hope
Give me your hand again
til I land again
His face starts to fade
As we pull down the shade
And the picture we made
Is in glorious cinemascope
Ill be back...
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Contract In Love
written by Lamont Dozier, Janie Bradford, & Brian Holland
(c) 1962 Jobete Music Co., Inc. (ASCAP)
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign it
Sign it
Sign it
Sign it
You say you love me
And I believe it's true
But before I let myself go
Here's what you've got to do
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
You've got to sign
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
My contract on love
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Write it in your heart
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
That you'll never do anything
To ever make us part
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
Yeah, I know it may seem strange to you
Yeah, but I've lost a love so many times before
Yeah, and now that I know the score
No one's gonna hurt me no more
And I'm takin' all my chances with romances
Yeah
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
So just sign
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Right here on this dotted line
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Where it says you'll be mine, all mine
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Until the end of time
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
So come on, come on, come on, and
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, right here on this line
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Yeah
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign my contract on love
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
FADE
song performed by by Stevie Wonder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sad Foot Sign
Sad foot sign
Why you gotta
Taunt me this way?
The happy side
Is broken now
It's gonna be
An awful day
And if I have
To drive back by
To see from
A different side
Would be enough
To say
The first time was
A lie?
Sad foot sign
The end is coming
That's what they say
Maybe you could
See it in
Your heart for one day
To let me feel
What it's about
To really be the life
To live and breathe
And see and feel
Then I can die
And when I come back
To this room
I'll put on
A uniform
And go into
The foot sign shop
Where you were born
song performed by by Eels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We were tremendously encouraged by the testing of Analyze That. Audiences loved it. They were telling us that they liked it as much as the original. We recorded the laughs in the theater.
quote by Harold Ramis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me. Every night I had a live audience of 25,000 people to win over. My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. It was to be the most entertaining.
quote by Dwayne Johnson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There are certainly laws and elements that make a film more accessible to mainstream audiences. If you've got Tom Cruise as a strongman, I'm sure it would have larger audiences, but it wouldn't have the same substance.
quote by Werner Herzog
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Word In The Flames
You stand alone, carrying everything you've never known.
You stand alone, awaiting everything that comes hereafter.
You stand alone, swaying not in heat or strife.
You stand alone, telling of nothing that lies within you.
You stand alone, letting no one else come after you.
You stand alone, entering the empty skies.
poem by Stephen Carey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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At those times I got into... I suppose you call it a rut. I used to do comedy, comedy, comedy and I suddenly thought I ought to break away from this somehow.