I was advised by an American agent when I was about 19 to change my surname.
quote by Rachel Weisz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An American Soldier
Proud to be in the Army
A government Agent
Sent across the sea
This is an American Soldier
Dressed in a uniform
To show his allegiance
And weather the storm
This is an American Soldier
Sworn to protect you and I
Defender of freedom
and willing to die
This is an American Soldier
Given a secret mission
He completes his orders
Through strong ambition
This is an American Soldier
In foreign lands he attends
To the fallen soldiers
Whose wounds need to mend
This is an American Soldier
Upon his return he cries
Becoming a hero
He says his goodbyes
This is an American Soldier
Gratified our nation stands
With heads held high we aim
To honor this man
This is an American Soldier
A soldier is what you see
More than a warrior
He is part of me
This is an American Soldier
…This is my brother
An American Soldier
© 2009 Tracey Marquart
poem by Tracey Marquart
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Secret Agent Man
You know I live a life of danger
For the fbi
Keeping tabs on our nation
On the land, on the sea, in the sky
But every single night
Before I go to bed
I get down on my knees
And thank god
Im a secret agent man
* secret agent man
Secret agent man
Theyve given me a number
But theyve taken way my name
I got one hell of a job to perform
For the u. s. of a.
Got the responsibility
Of our nations top security
But every night and day
I salute the flag and say
Thank you jesus
Cause im, Im a secret agent man
( * repeat)
You know they got me doin this
Doin that
And a little bit of something else
Fighting cavities of evil
Safe-guarding americas health
But not an afternoon pass
I dont get up off my ass
Thank you god
Cause im, Im a secret agent man
( * repeat 2 times)
Cause Im a secret agent man
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Silent Member
He lived in Mundaloo, and Bill McClosky was his name,
But folks that knew him well had little knowledge of that same;
For he some'ow lost his surname, and he had so much to say –-
He was called 'The Silent Member' in a mild, sarcastic way.
He could talk on any subject -- from the weather and the crops
To astronomy and Euclid, and he never minded stops;
And the lack of a companion didn't lay him on the shelf,
For he'd stand before a looking-glass and argue with himself.
He would talk for hours on literature, or calves, or art, or wheat;
There was not a bally subject you could say had got him beat;
And when strangers brought up topics that they reckoned he would baulk,
He'd remark, 'I never heard of that.' But all the same -- he'd talk.
He'd talk at christ'nings by the yard; at weddings by the mile;
And he used to pride himself upon his choice of words and style.
In a funeral procession his remarks would never end
On the qualities and virtues of the dear departed friend.
We got quite used to hearing him, and no one seemed to care --
In fact, no happ'ning seemed complete unless his voice was there.
For close on thirty year he talked, and none could talk him down,
Until one day an agent for insurance struck the town.
Well, we knew The Silent Member, and we knew what he could do,
And it wasn't very long before we knew the agent, too,
As a crack long-distance talker that was pretty hard to catch;
So we called a hasty meeting and decided on a match.
Of course, we didn't tell them we were putting up the game;
But we fixed it up between us, and made bets upon the same.
We named a time-keep and a referee to see it through;
Then strolled around, just casual, and introduced the two.
The agent got first off the mark, while our man stood and grinned;
He talked for just one solid hour, then stopped to get his wind.
'Yes; but --' sez Bill; that's all he said; he couldn't say no more;
The agent got right in again, and fairly held the floor.
On policies, and bonuses, and premiums, and all that,
He talked and talked until we thought he had our man out flat.
'I think --' Bill got in edgeways, but that there insurance chap
Just filled himself with atmosphere, and took the second lap.
I saw our man was getting dazed, and sort of hypnotized,
And they oughter pulled the agent up right there, as I advised.
'See here -' Bill started, husky; but the agent came again,
And talked right on for four hours good -- from six o'clock to ten.
Then Bill began to crumple up, and weaken at the knees,
When all at once he ups and shouts, 'Here, give a bloke a breeze!
Just take a pull for half a tick and let me have the floor,
And I'll take out a policy.' The agent said no more.
The Silent Member swallowed hard, then coughed and cleared his throat,
But not a single word would come –- no; not a blessed note.
His face looked something dreadful –- such a look of pained dismay;
Then he have us one pathetic glance, and turned, and walked away.
He's hardly spoken since that day –- not more than 'Yes' or 'No'.
We miss his voice a good bit, too; the town seems rather slow.
He was called 'The Silent Member' just sarcastic, I'll allow;
But since that agent handled him it sort o' fits him now.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Do not just long for a change, know how to accept it
Nothing is permanent
Except the change
Change is a necessary phenomenon
In an active system
Changelessness is deadly
Change is continuous
Steady and driven by a cause
Nature and extent of change
Depend on
Nature and extent of cause
We all look for
And indeed long for a change
And we have specifications
Many a time
The occurring change is
Not the change we were
Looking or longing for
We turn excited or sad
Because of the change
Many a time we are
Unprepared for the change
Though we were longing for it
Often we find it difficult
To accommodate and
Accept the change
Nothing wrong
Longing for a change
But desiring itself not enough
We need to create such
Causes that will lead
To the change we look for
Many a time these causes
Are not totally under our control
So, it is well-advised
To be prepared for the
Deviations from your specifications
Then you will find yourself
In a position to accept
The change whole-heartedly
Long for a change,
Plan actions accordingly,
Execute and wait
Change has to come
But, again be prepared
To accept the change
Despite its falling short
Or exceeding your
Specifications
poem by Bashyam Narayanan
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Save me O Lord from all this change
‘Look abroad thro' Nature's range,
‘Nature's mighty law is change'1;
Yea, change is everything, comm'ner or king,
Change is progress; or left I'm so to guess.
Open up and sooner shall thine life change,
Advised Buddha, and there's a rainbow's range
Of wisdom; so taught I thought me to change,
Soon to change mind from no mean a challenge.
‘If ye like not a thing, go ‘head, change it,
‘And if ye can't, change, change the way ye think'2,
If not, there's still a way: to wait, to wit,
Till what ye like not, changes in a wink.
And I'm convinced, ‘nought in this world endure'3,
The world may either change the way I want—
A Buddhist way when things on their own cure!
If not, to a changed me, it least does haunt.
And I agree, ‘weep not the world changes'4,
For reason there's to weep, were it to keep
A stable, changeless state, in stony ease,
E'en a stone changeth, if not in a leap.
And every birth of a brazen new truth
Has caused mischief, nay, oft great upheaval;
A change agent, nor in right frame of youth,
Let me not be one, disaster to deal!
Things change, and we too change, we more than things,
‘The old order changeth, yielding to new'5,
While change of habit irks the lay and kings,
Hope mints new order to strut with tired view!
And all progress, a twain-edge'd old sword,
‘Preserving order amid all the change,
‘Amid the preserved order preserve change'6;
Save me, O Lord, from this balancing board!
_____________________________________________ ___________
1. Robert Burns: Let not women e'er complain.
2. Mary Engelbreit.
3. Ludwig Boerne: ‘Nought endures but change'.
4. William Cullen Bryant:
‘Weep not that the world changes—
did it keep a stable changeless state,
it were cause indeed to weep'.
5. Alfred Lord Tennyson: ‘The passing of Arthur'.
6. Alfred North Whitehead:
‘The art of progress is to preserve order amid change,
and to preserve change amid order'.
__________________________
- Tongue-in-cheek | 05.12.11 |
poem by Aniruddha Pathak
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Secret Angent X-9
Got a racecar grin and a calculation
And every gun for a secret agent
Defunct that timebomb at the space station
Hey, Secret Agent X-9 why don't you drop me a line?
And say, would it cost you your job
to say what was in that gold box?
So why did they give you that job?
And why can they give you that job?
You think this guy was on a permanent vacation
But no he's not, he's a secret agent
song performed by by Modest Mouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All American Girl
Skin tight soul delight
Changing her life for another
She dreams magazines
Sees herself on the cover
Anything anytime anywhere
Its fitting in that matters
Faithfully she believes in the look he wants to know better
She knows what she wants
Shes an all american girl
She knows what she needs
Shes a sold american girl
She knows what she knows
Shes an all american girl
She does what she does
Shes an all american girl
Sold american
Shes got a double bubble with a bossanova back
Shes a real hot pepper and I like it like that
Its all right you dont have to change your way
Youre all right Im hoping the best part stays
She knows what she wants
Shes an all american girl
She knows what she needs
Shes a sold american girl
She knows what she knows
Shes an all american girl
She does what she does
Shes an all american girl
Sold american
Street smart close to the heart gotta be real
More than the clothes you wear
You know what youve got look to your heart
You carry your history there
song performed by by Hall & Oates
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And I have a really great agent and I know it's almost an oxymoron to say you have a smart agent. But she is and she has a beautiful aesthetic and she has guided me.
quote by Patricia Clarkson
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Book Agent Story
As we have given several humorous Scottish stories in verse we will venture to
trespass on your good nature by giving an American specimen. The scene is laid
in the suburbs of New York. It was a prose tale, and we fancy we have not
diminished the height, breadth or depth of the humour by grinding it in our
poetical mill and having it flow out in rhyme.
There is a man, his name is Brown,
He lives in a suburban town
And has an office in the city,
His misfortunes you will pity.
His mind it was on stocks and change,
He cared not for things new or strange ;
But agent managed him to hook
And sold to him a costly book.
Brown cared not for those glorious names-
Died for religion in the flames;
Now he felt agent was a Tartar
For selling him a book of martyr.
The agent knew it would make strife,
But sold another to his wife;
She did not know that Brown had bought,
And agent on her easy wrought .
Approaching her with winning smile
He poor woman did beguile.
He made her believe without a doubt
No Christian could do without
This book, which would all inspire
With spark of celestial fire,
With feelings like the first martyr
Who had died for Christian charter.
When Brown did home return at night
His wife, to add to his delight,
Resolved that she would, after tea,
Get chatting with her husband free
And tell him of fine book she bought ;
Of trouble fresh she never thought,
But she noticed a gloomy frown
On the brow of her husband Brown,
But thought when I my purchase tell
Those dark clouds they will dispel ;
She said, my dear, I bought martyr,
He looked as if he her could quarter.
And said the scoundrel sold me book ;
Out of the window then he did look
And saw the agent haste to train ;
He tried to stop him, but in vain ;
Smith then was passing in spring waggon,
And he had his trotting nag on ;
He told him to stop book agent ;
His escape for to prevent,
Smith told him Brown wanted him ;
But agent-nothing daunted him ;
Said he : He only wants to barter
With me for my book of Martyr.
If thats all, said Smith, with quick dash,
Give me his book, and here's your cash ;
Book agent jumped aboard the car,
For he knew there would be war;
Smith met Brown with triumphant look-
Said he : I have got you the book ;
Brown's feelings now no one could paint,
He there did show he was no saint ;
But to big own home he now returned,
And fierce rage in his bosom burned ;
He was not fit for Knight of Garter
When he brought in the third martyr.
poem by James McIntyre
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My agent sent me the script and I loved it. I wondered how they would turn me into a chimp. My agent said it would probably not entail to much time. Just some hair and make-up. I found out that it was not so simple.
quote by Kim Hunter
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We had gone out on the road in 94 and 95 for a three month American tour, and we realised, as did our manager and booking agent at the time, that we have really exhausted it, and we can't make money at this anymore.
quote by Steve Brown
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I didn't have any agent; I've never had an agent.
quote by Barbara Steele
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Economics is a subject profoundly conducive to cliche, resonant with boredom. On few topics is an American audience so practiced in turning off its ears and minds. And none can say that the response is ill advised.
quote by John Kenneth Galbraith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The cool part about working for Disney is that they've allowed me to be a change agent.
quote by Christy Romano
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Change! Change! Change!
change! change! change!
everybody talkin' about change.
change your look,
change your luck,
change your politics,
change your religion...
change the country,
change the world....
change the day!
change your underwear!
loose change, pocket change,
winds of change, march for change....
but all real change begins within...
let's work on that,
and then everything else
will change in turn!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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I mean normally you have your agent call the other agent and all the agents talk and then finally you get a phone call and you hear some misrepresentation of what someone else had to say.
quote by Radha Mitchell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dick Moss, my agent. Dick became my agent in 1979 when I signed my contract with the Houston Astros.
quote by Nolan Ryan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Transformation In Life Cycles
change undergone
by an animal cell
upon infection
by a cancer-causing
tissue devouring
virile hostile virus
alteration
transformation
of a bacterial cell
caused by transfer
of DNA stimuli
from contact
bacterial cell
especially
a pathogen
a pathogen
infectious agent
populous label
commonly germ
a biological agent
007 licensed
to kill bond
assassination
execution style
causes disease
to outplayed
sentenced host
there are
several
substrates
pathways
whereby
pathogens
can invade
a target
marked host
memorize
‘modi operandi’
their M.O.
consulting doctor
principal pathways
have different
episodic time
code frames soil
contamination
has profile
longest most
persistent
potential for
harboring
a pathogen
examine
method
of operating
functioning
record file
precisely
method
coded
information
reveal habits
traits
practices
of enemy
agent
suspects
to aid in
eventual
apprehension
of these
key suspects
biological agent
biological cell
terminated in
homeland defense
poem by Terence George Craddock
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ARABIC Joke....Sorry Gays... for the Buuffff
a soccer game match
has been setup to be....on
a neutral country stadium....
between United States and
a Palistenian arab mouslim...50 percent hamaaassss
12 percent ''drou ooo ou ouou eee eee zzzz! ! ''
the rest does not really matter! ! type of people...
they are from here and there?
they go either way.....
they sing all the time the same
song.....ekhay ikkay....tiffayyy...mokkhhtoookhay....
odd essssiii naaan. to falllllontisjen mosha jaaaay ay aya ayy?
tiffaaayy mokh ke kh kh teckkaaahhhhaahahkahkhkhaaaaa.
Aft er the first 10 minutes
of the first half of the game....
american...Casualties is
Awsome f a ken faking king arthure
greate.....
only the hope of obama
will give them hope
- a college degree grant and
back back again to the army.....cause no
escape-
in his hope hope bed bad fu king
socking docking wall street
economy.....
i will tell american.....
one bomb
per barrel of oil
from
our land f uuu king you ho mo ho mo....no matter
ho ho matter she is....? ?
american lost the
game
against arabic soocer national
by taken it to pakistan to
balance out
the geo-pipe line in the regions....
-it is all about energy...babi...you pay we will get you energy babi...)
the army operations....radius....and nato wings.....
and bankers......
-these ass hoo hoo hoo ooo less, , , bonus ezzz.....
misterious
and bigggggg....
only cnn and fox news
could not
make it to the amrican
public....
only through
french british
beach channel....
cause a satelite
dish fall off from the sky
and touch down in the american side...
get angry about....
though alllaaaaah ehhhh did that
the american get peranoyed....
ask the matrix
tax payes
to take them
or uploaded back.....
through
any channel
they can find in the matrix....
that is how an agent, ....double agent....
work for the moussaaad.....and FBI....attacheeee
to rhe supreme court......
busted the connection.....
and you are the....
ONe.....
AAAANNNNNN! ! !
Alone....
stranded....
poem by Atef Ayadi
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Among those best known, their highest ambition is to build American homes, possess American furniture, dress in American clothes, adopt the American style of living and be American citizens.
quote by Sheldon Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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