I bet when they weren't fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes on the ends of the horns, so as to avoid eye pokings to fellow Vikings and lady Vikings.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
It is the great north wind that made the Vikings.
It seems strange that almost no other traces of the strong vikings are found in America.
quote by Ellsworth Huntington
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, they gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, 'Hey, good job.'
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shopping
Isn't it odd...
How victorious the Vikings were,
And not one of them
Can be found shopping
On 5th Avenue
In Manhattan!
And there are those
Of Asian, African and Hispanic
Origin...
All over the place!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Everything we talk about is about beating the Packers, the Bears and the Vikings. Obviously there are other teams in the league, but if you can dominate and be on top of your division you are always in the playoff hunt. It's time for us to win that thing.
quote by Steve Mariucci
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Eire
In the land of eireann
Sat the high king
Faced with the problems
The dreaded vikings
Gather all the men folk
Speaking the celtic tongue
The land is eireann
The land is young
Stands red odonnell
Fighting the saxon foe
With hugh oneil
Oh
All along the north land
They fight bitterly
The land is eireann
The land is free
song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Viking
We are the Vikings that is looking for war
Slaying and raping and killing them all
We travel around from town to town
Searching for women to have us some fun
We are the last of the evil
Nobody gets in our way
Thor is our God and our guide on the way
We're gonna make you pay
As we walk on our journey through life
We're gonna see some pain in your eyes
Sometimes are good times and sometimes are bad
We must carry on
We must carry on
Right now
People are trying to fight against us
With speers and axes and life as a loss
We are the strong and we are the cruel
We're only here to get You
We are the last of the evil
Nobody gets in our way
Thor is our God and our guide on the way
We're gonna make you pay
As we walk on our journey through life
We're gonna see some pain in your eyes
Sometimes are good times and sometimes are bad
We must carry on
We must carry on
Right now
Graves been digged on places we been
Blood on our hands and blood on our feet
We are the Vikings that sailed through the seas
We're gonna kill you and set your soul free
We are the last of the evil
Nobody gets in our way
Thor is our God and our guide on the way
We're gonna make you pay
As we walk on our journey through life
We're gonna see some pain in your eyes
Sometimes are good times and sometimes are bad
We must carry on
We must carry on
Right now
song performed by by Zonata
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pretty Halcyon Days
How pleasant to sit on the beach,
On the beach, on the sand, in the sun,
With ocean galore within reach,
And nothing at all to be done!
&nbs p;No letters to answer,
&n bsp;No bills to be burned,
&n bsp;No work to be shirked,
& nbsp;No cash to be earned,
It is pleasant to sit on the beach
With nothing at all to be done!
How pleasant to look at the ocean,
Democratic and damp; indiscriminate;
It fills me with noble emotion
To think I am able to swim in it.
To lave in the wave,
&nbs p;Majestic and chilly,
&n bsp;Tomorrow I crave;
&nb sp;But today it is silly.
It is pleasant to look at the ocean;
Tomorrow, perhaps, I shall swim in it.
How pleasant to gaze at the sailors
As their sailboats they manfully sail
With the vigor of vikings and whalers
In the days of the vikings and whale.
&nb sp;They sport on the brink
&nbs p;Of the shad and the shark;
&nb sp;If it’s windy, they sink;
&nbs p;If it isn’t, they park.
It is pleasant to gaze at the sailors,
To gaze without having to sail.
How pleasant the salt anesthetic
Of the air and the sand and the sun;
Leave the earth to the strong and athletic,
And the sea to adventure upon.
&nbs p;But the sun and the sand
;No contractor can copy;
&nbs p;We lie in the land
;Of the lotus and poppy;
We vegetate, calm and aesthetic,
On the beach, on the sand, in the sun.
poem by Ogden Nash
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Proof Positive for Friend Thad
I gaze into my crystal ball
I concentrate to still my mind.
At first I see nothing at all
I know not what I seek to find.
I only know I have received
a summons which I must obey.
In this I cannot be deceived
my farsight then comes into play.
I see strange ships I recognise
as Vikings making for the shore.
They hope to take us by surprise
as they have often done before.
But not this time we are forewarned
My chieftain placed his trust in me.
The little man the warrior scorned
will prove to them that he can see.
Despite the darkness of the night,
the movements of the enemy
Although he is too weak to fight
he can ensure their victory.
The chieftain rouses his war band.
Each warrior prepared to fight
the fierce intruders on their land.
Who will be dead by morning light.
They are intent on plundering
as they have always done before
But they will die wondering
just how we knew they’d come ashore.
To make quite sure they can’t retreat
The chieftain sends some handpicked men
who will set fire to their fleet.
These Vikings will not see again
The rocky sides of home fjiords
Their longships laden down with loot
They will have died beneath our swords.
The boot is on the other foot.
They came to loot but died instead
thanks to my ability
to foresee things that lie ahead.
We celebrate the victory.
Quiescent now my crystal ball
reflecting only candle light.
The warriors have no doubt at all
that I am gifted with true sight.
8-Mar-08
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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Ash Wendsday
he liked me
he was gonna show me how to catch a football
he was an expert
after all he had that vikings practice jersey
we threw the ball around a bit
i think i was getting the hang of it
his mom came out
said come in danny get ready
we have to go to church
he said i'm ready
she demanded he change his shirt
he said but why mom, it's holey
she beat the shit out of him
poem by Nat Z. Punx
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Your travel life has the aspect of a dream. It is something outside the normal, yet you are in it. It is peopled with characters you have never seen before and in all probability will never see again. It brings occasional homesickness, and loneliness, and pangs of longing... But you are like the Vikings who have gone into a world of adventure, and home is not home until you return.
quote by Agatha Christie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In Us The Happy Children
when the flood comes
when the thatched roof of houses
start to drown themselves
the children go on
with their games
on bamboo rafts
they begin a journey
of fun
and fantasy
now they are vikings
tomorrow they are the pirates of Penzange
on their penchant
for charm
their laughter over
the rising waters
like their ancestors who lost
nothing
they are now ready to
move
for another soil
on top of a hill
on some grassy grounds again.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Returned
He forced it on himself, like prejudice
Year by year it came
Strong and bitter
Never sweeter
When enjoined to pain
Can the Vikings do it?
A cold Germanic horde
Force a king to do it
Cut down Damocles sword
But love is never finer
Bleeding forcefully
And life is never truer
Down upon the knees
Lie, you knew your Keeper
Knew himself a fraud
Forced his heart to buckle
And brought him back to God.
poem by Derrick Puente
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King of Storms
I am the Storm King,
hear my decree!
The heavens like vikings
shall storm all you see!
Watch the people flee.
I am the Storm King,
the floodgates shall open!
The rain is striking,
slaves driven down the Slope 'n
down to the sea.
I am the Storm King,
I have made my empire.
Hear my bow sing.
I will drown out your fire.
I am the Storm King,
and you shall be made to see.
It is not wise to be double-crossing.
I am the Storm King.
Hear my decree.
poem by Soren Valentine
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Invaders
(harris)
Longboats have been sighted the evidence of war has begun
Many nordic fighting men their swords and shields all gleam in the sun
Call to arms defend yourselves get ready to stand and fight for your lives
Judgement day has come around so be prepared dont run stand your ground
Theyre coming in from the sea
Theyve come the enemy
Beneath the blazing sun
The battle has to be won
Invaders ... pillaging
Invaders ... looting
Set ablaze the campfires alert the other men from inland
Warning must be given theres not enough men here for a stand
The vikings are too many much too powerful to take on our own
We must have reinforcements we cannot fight this battle alone
Theyre coming over the hill
Theyve come to attack
Theyre coming in for the kill
Theres no turning back
Invaders ... fighting
Invaders ... marauding
Axes grind and maces clash as wounded fighters fall to the ground
Severed limbs and fatal woundings bloody corpses lay all around
The smell of death and burning flesh the battle weary fight to the end
The saxons have been overpowered victims of the mighty norsemen
Youd better scatter and run
The battles lost and not won
Youd better get away to fight another day
Invaders ... raping
Invaders ... plundering
song performed by by Iron Maiden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Canute the Great
I'll tell of Canute, King of England,
A native of Denmark was he,
His hobbies was roving and raiding
And paddling his feet in the sea.
By trade he were what's called a Viking,
Every summer he'd visit our shore,
Help himself to whatever he wanted,
And come back in the autumn for more.
These trips always showed him a profit,
But what stumped him to know was this 'ere...
Where the English folk got all the money,
He came and took off them each year.
After duly considering the matter,
He concluded as how his best course,
Were to have an invasion of England,
And tap the supply at its source.
He got other Vikings to join him,
With a promise of plunder and spoil,
And raked up atrocity stories,
To bring all their blood to the boil.
They landed one morning at Weymouth,
And waited for fight to begin,
While their foe, Ethelred the Unready,
Found his army and got it fell in.
When the battle were done, Crown of England,
Changed heads, so the history book states,
From Ethelred's seven-and-a-quarter,
To King Canutes six-and-five-eights.
The Vikings was cheered as the winners,
Ethelred, he went somewhere and died,
And Canute, to his lasting atonement...
Made the widow, Queen Emma, his bride.
She started to teach him his manners,
To drink without wetting his nose,
Put his hand to his mouth and say "Pardon!",
Every time the occasion arose.
She said his companions was vulgar,
His habits more easy than free,
Made him promise no more to disgrace her,
By paddling his feet in the sea.
At the time this 'ere promise meant nothing,
It were made in the cool of the spring,
But when summer came in with a heat wave,
T' were a totally different thing.
He moved his court down to the seaside,
Where they took off their shoes and their socks,
And rushed to the water and left him,
Alone on his throne on the rocks.
Said one, "Come on King, have a paddle,
I'll look after your sceptre and crown."
He replied, "Nay, I promised the missus,
And I can't let the old... lady down."
"No need to do that," said the Tempter,
"The tide's coming in, as you see;
You promised you wouldn't go to it,
But you can't stop it coming to thee!"
And that's how it happened... that later,
When Emma came over the sands,
She found Canute knee deep in water,
Trying to shush the sea back with his hands.
For not letting on that he'd seen her,
He was chiding each wave as it came,
Saying, "Thus far, my lad, and no further!"
'Til Emma said, "What is this game?"
He replied, These 'ere flatterers told me,
That the sea would obey me, and so,
I'm giving them this demonstration,
To show what a fat lot they know."
"You're doing quite right," shouted Emma,
"It's time someone made them look small!"
Then she took off her shoes and her stockings,
And started to paddle an' all.
poem by Marriott Edgar
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A Fascinating State
I’d love to be an archaeologist,
and dig up a real good find.
A skeleton or two would frankly do,
each one of a human kind.
Some pottery, and tiles of mosaic,
jewellery that women wore,
back through stages, in far distant ages.
Even a dinosaur’s jaw.
There were Romans, Saxons, and Vikings,
who all roamed over our land.
With their pleasures, they must leave some treasures,
to be uncovered by hand.
Hours of gentle light digging and scraping,
at soil to reveal a prize.
A coin, some flax, buckle of bronze, flint axe,
can make one’s excitement rise.
Our history is found under our feet,
we walk upon it each day.
A fascinating state, to excavate,
this earth, this brown mud, this clay.
poem by Ernestine Northover
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Smoke
Smoke
From the Saga Island smoke rose. flames and rivers ran full of
icy water; the modern Vikings had been beaten and shamed.
Cold winter, summer roses are grey and leaves on trees have
taken on an autumnal hue. Clouds of ashes drifting south day
is night the world has lost it colour and cinemas only show
black& white movies.
East the smoke is black and smells of cordite and bulldozed
buildings. Poor Palestine it is not a state, but a dream, which
trashed people try to make into a reality. Moslems, Christians
and righteous Jews, the world belongs to us, to have peace
there must be fairness. Oops! Before my eyes another house is
razed to the ground, dust is blinding me.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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Wonder Star
(A note on the Christmas Star that had guided the Vikings to Jesus.)
Oh my dear! You wonder star
So bright you shine all day and night
To guide us to the Lord’s birth home
Born were you dear mighty star.
Old quite, but young enough
You shine so fine till time today
Bethlehem your home it lives in joy
For home it is for the Lord’s birth
Time to time you shine with us
At Christmas time on roofs atop
Colors galore you shine all night
To remind us all of His glorious birth.
Your name it is “the wonder star”
You’ve shown the way to the mighty king
You still shine bright in heavens above
In our hearts you shine all Christmas time.
poem by Dr Anish Mathew John
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