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I remember how the other kids used to say that old Mister Swenson was the meanest man in town. But I said I thought he was nice, that he just didn't know how to show it. The meanest man in town, I said, was the mean old guy who lived in the big white house. 'THAT'S MISTER SWENSON,' they said. Oh, my mistake.

Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No More Mr. Nice Guy

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
'Til they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm gettin' shot down
And I'm feeling mean
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye
My mom's been thrown out of the society circle
My dad's had to hide
I went to church incognito
And everybody rose, the reverend Smith
He recognized me
Punched me in the nose
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene

song performed by by Megadeth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Banker

(ronnie vanzant -- gary rossington)
Mister banker
Mister please, how much does money mean
Won't you reconsider mister
Won't you do this thing for me
Ain't got no house
Ain't got no car
All i got, lord, is my guitar
But you can have that mister banker
Won't you bury my papa for me
Oh mister banker please
Listen to how that sound
I would not be here on my knees
But hey mister banker
It means so much to me
Oh won't you reconsider mister
Won't you do this thing for me
I told you mister
I ain't got no house
Ain't got no car
I got me a 1950 les paul guitar
Won't you take it mister banker
Won't you bury my papa for me
Oh mister banker please

song performed by by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ditty Wah Ditty

(arthur blake)
Theres a great big mistery
And it sure is worrying me
Its a ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I went out and walked around
Somebody yelled, now whos in town ?
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
Some little girl bout four-feet-four
Said, come on, papa, and gimme some mo
Your ditty wah ditty
Your ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I went to church, put my hat on the seat
A lady sat on it and said, daddy you sho is sweet
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I said, sister, Ill soon be gone
Just give me that thing that youre sitting on
My ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
Then I got put outta the church
cause I talked about ditty wah ditty too much
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means

song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Meanest Girl In Town

(words & music by j. byers)
Shell tell you that she loves you, make you feel just like a kid
Shell cry to you and lie to you, shell do most anything
Shell get right up next to you and the first thing that you know
Youll be telling her youre sorry because she hurt you so
I said shes evil the most evil girl Ive found
There aint no doubt about it, shes the meanest girl in town
Shell invite you over to her house at half past nine
Youll wear a suit, youll wear a tie and youll give your shoes a shine
Youll take a real deep breath and knock on her front door
Her little sister will tell you she dont live here anymore
I said shes evil the most evil girl Ive found
There aint no doubt about it, shes the meanest girl in town
And there aint no doubt about it, shes the meanest girl in town
Shell put her arms around you and squeeze with all her might
Shell breathe a sigh and pucker her lips and pull your arms real tight
Your heart will pound like thunder, youll melt in her embrace
But when you go to kiss her well shell laugh right in your face
Because shes evil the most evil girl Ive found
There aint no doubt about it, shes the meanest girl in town

song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister Moon And Mister Sun

Time goes so fast today. Don't blink she'll go away. Don't
close your eyes. Not for one moment. You feel so good right
now. You have to stay somehow. Don't let it slip. Let time
stay frozen.
She needs you. You need her. Just like the sun. Don't think
that it's over. It's just begun.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our song has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let these
minutes go too soon.
If wishes were for free. My only hope would be. To stop the
clock. Let's keep this moment. I guess that's just a dream.
As hollow as your own moon beam. So let us revel in our
time.
She needs you. You need her. Just like the sun. It never is
over. Once it's begun.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our life has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let this
moment go too soon.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our life has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let this
moment go too soon. Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our
song has only just begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon.
Don't let these minutes go too soon

song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Me

Once a boy named mister me bemoaned a great regret
I've floundered in the misty sea, but can't abide its mystery
I wound up sad, you bet
So onward go and edward ho into the bounding main
Enjoy the show look out below but mind the misty sea
Or end up sad like mister me
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
So take the hand of mister me and mister, make him glad
To swim the mister misty sea and cease the mister mystery
That mister, made him sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad

song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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This Is The Army Mister Jones

sheet music version:]
A bunch of frightened rookies were list'ning filled with awe
They listened while a sergeant was laying down the law
They stood there at attention, their faces turning red
The sergeant looked them over and this is what he said
This is the Army, Mister Jones!
No private rooms or telephones
You had your breakfast in bed before
But you won't have it there any more
This is the Army, Mister Green!
We like the barracks nice and clean
You had a housemaid to clean your floor
But she won't help you out any more
Do what the buglers command
They're in the Army and not in a band
This is the Army, Mister Brown!
You and your baby went to town
She had you worried but this is war
And she won't worry you anymore

song performed by by Irving Berlin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister Moon & Mister Sun

Time goes so fast today. dont blink shell go away. dont
Close your eyes. not for one moment. you feel so good right
Now. you have to stay somehow. dont let it slip. let time
Stay frozen.
She needs you. you need her. just like the sun. dont think
That its over. its just begun.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our song has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let these
Minutes go too soon.
If wishes were for free. my only hope would be. to stop the
Clock. lets keep this moment. I guess thats just a dream.
As hollow as your own moon beam. so let us revel in our
Time.
She needs you. you need her. just like the sun. it never is
Over. once its begun.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our life has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let this
Moment go too soon.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our life has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let this
Moment go too soon. oh mister moon and mister sun. our
Song has only just begun. oh mister sun and mister moon.
Dont let these minutes go too soon.

song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nickel Romeo

Hey sugar I had that dream again
I saw you in your red crushed velvet suit
Rolling on my feather bed
A cheshire cat in yellow beatle boots
(but) whos that stranger lying in your arms
Her fingers running down your tattooed chest
Valentinos cranking up the charm
And its coming like a freight train
These pictures in my head
Hey mister nickel romeo
Everybody knows your name
Hey, hey mister
Tell me mister, whats your game?
Falling, yes she will fall
Your latest victim bites her lip and sighs
Shes do these nasty things for you
Insinuating kisses on the sly
Oh I remember how you get your kicks
Preying on the innocent at night
Strange desperation-you gotta cop that fix
Making every little girl is keeping you alive
Hey mister nickel romeo
Everybody knows your name
Hey hey mister
Tell me mister, whats your game
Oh nickel romeo you got no shame
Hey mister nickel romeo
Everybody knows your name
Hey hey mister
Tell me mister, whats your game?
Hey mister nickel romeo
Everybody knows your name
Hey hey mister
Youre the master of this game
Because you got no shame
I think Im going insane
And youre to blame...

song performed by by Bangles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kidding

A figure dressed in the finest attire
That money can buy
Laiden with assets to make an impression
On a strangers eye
And he lives in a palace
Surrounded by roses in a perfect picture
Hes in deep with the shallow
Hes fading cause he cant see the sky
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
A dinner with twenty people you hate
And theyre hating you more
Talking politely, its all a show
Tell me what is it for?
And your laugh is tale-telling
They follow but you know youre not a funny man
The truth is the meaning
And your life is that you wouldnt have one
If you were poor
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Yeah. . .
Such a shame, sir
Such a shame
Such a shame
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything, yeah
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody but yourself x5
Nobody. . .
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing
Nobody, kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Nobody, kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you

song performed by by Imogen Heap
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Please Mr. Postman

( stop )
Oh yes, wait a minute
Mister postman
( wait )
Wait mister postman
(*) please mister postman look and see
( oh yeah )
If there's a letter in your bag for me
( please, please, mister postman )
Why's it takin' such a long time
( oh yeah )
For me to hear from that boy of mine
There must be
Some word today
From my boyfriend
So far away
Please mister postman
Look and see
If there's a letter
A letter for me
I've been standin' here
Waitin' mister postman
So patiently
For just a card
Or just a letter
Sayin' he's returning'
Home to me
Repeat (*)
So many days
You passed me by
See the tears
Standin' in my eyes
You didn't stop
To make me feel better
By leavin' me
A card or a letter
Repeat (*)
( why don't you check it and see one more time
For me you gotta )
Wait a minute, wait a minute...
( mister postman )
Mister postman look and see
( c'mon deliver the letter, the sooner, the better )
Mister postman

song performed by by Carpenters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What You Are Doing

Well, I see you standin' there
with your finger in the air.
Ev'rything we do,
you wanna leave it up to you.
Who do you think you are?
You think you are a star,
try'n' to run the town,
always try'n' to put us down.
Well, you think that you're right.
You think you're out of sight.
Tell me something, mister;
why'd you have to make us so uptight?
Well, you say you've been try'n'.
You know that you're ly'n'.
I think you need some groovin'.
Who do you think you're foolin' now?
Well, you better start changin'.
You life needs rearrangin'.
You better do some talkin'
or you better do some walkin' now.
Yeah, you think that you're right.
You think you're out of sight.
Tell me something, mister;
why'd you have to make us so uptight?
I know what you're doing,
all that you been doin' wrong.
I don't know what you're feelin',
oh, but you been feelin' long.
Well, you think that you're right.
Tell me something, mister;
why'd you have to make us so uptight

song performed by by Rush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Big Man

I remember when you started out,
You were the best friend i ever knew.
I tried to meet you when you had your success,
But you had better things to do.
Now i bet that you're losin' count
Of the people that you used.
But now we're gonna see the vicious side of you,
Mister big.
You've got the say and the power.
Your minions grovel and cower.
But i see you, and i see me.
But you're the big man now.
You got it, mister big.
Your followers kiss your hand,
And your slaves all at your feet.
Your minions serve your beck and call,
But they don't compensate at all,
'cause inside, mister big's very small.
When you were poor and knockin' at the door,
You were really lots of fun.
But now you're hot and you're sittin' on the top;
You've got no time for anyone.
You schemed and connived.
You pushed and you lied,
Till you at last became a star.
But now we're gonna see the way you really are,
Mister big.
Now your vict'ry is complete
And your battles are all won.
Your enemies and foes are all stacked up in rows,
Eliminated one by one.
You got it, mister big.

song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hard Times In New York Town

Come you ladies and you gentlemen, a-listen to my song.
Sing it to you right, but you might think its wrong.
Just a little glimpse of a story Ill tell
Bout an east coast city that you all know well.
Its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
Old new york city is a friendly old town,
From washington heights to harlem on down.
Theres a-mighty many people all millin all around,
Theyll kick you when youre up and knock you when youre down.
Its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
Its a mighty long ways from the golden gate
To rockefeller plaza n the empire state.
Mister rockefeller sets up as high as a bird,
Old mister empire never says a word.
Its hard times from the country,
Livin down in new york town.
Well, its up in the mornin tryin to fins a job of work.
Stand in one place till your feet begin to hurt.
If you go a lot o money you can make yourself merry,
If you only got a nickel, its the staten island ferry.
And its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
Mister hudson come a-sailin down the stream
And old mister minuet paid for his dream.
Bought your city on a one-way track,
f I had my way Id sell it right back.
And its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
Ill take all the smog in cal-i-for-ne-ay,
n every bit of dust in the oklahoma plains,
n the dirt in the caves of the rocky mountain mines.
Its all much cleaner than the new york kind.
And its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
So all you newsy people, spread the news around,
You cn listen to m story, listen to m song.
You cn step on my name, you cn try n get me beat,
When I leave new york, Ill be standin on my feet.
And its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.

song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister Powers

Excuse me, mister powers
What do we plan to do today?
Yes excuse me, mister powers
What do we plan to do today?
Were going to 43rd street sonny
To hear them blues boys play
Well, its midnight mister powers
Where are we gonna boogaloo?
Yes, its after midnight mister powers
Where are we gonna boogaloo?
Were going to kingston mines boy
To boogaloo with sugarblue
Why, gentle mister powers
What will the morning bring?
Oh, gracious mister powers
What will the morning bring?
Well were going down to church child
To hear them gospel women sing
Well, tell me mister powers
What is the meaning of all this?
Please tell me mister powers
What is the meaning of all this?
It means aint God a good god
And all the glory is his
Thank you mister powers
You sure put the power in me!
Oh, thank you mister powers
You sure put the power in me!
Well, think nothin of it buddy,
The best things in life are still free...

song performed by by Waterboys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ode to a Honey Bee

I was the sole witness to a murder
To see was a shocking sight
Just wanted to scream
You had no right!
I was so sad to see him die
His friends all did grieve
Watched them in a circle fly
To me it wasn't funny
Hey mister!
Little bee gives us honey
Why did you have to smack him down
Here on earth he does belong
Please mister leave my town
Little honey bee did you no wrong

poem by Rachel Nichols
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Old Mister Time

He looked funny
The children called him the scarecrow
An old raincoat
And baggy trousers and sneakers
He found at the dump
Oh, but if you bothered to look
There was something behind the rags
Oh there was a look in his eyes
It was something youd never forget
He lived badly
A broken shack on the railway
An old moggy
The only one who replied
When he talked to the walls
Oh we didnt understand
We were fooled by the dirt on his face
Oh we were human then
We were searching behind his disgrace
Why dont you leave me alone
Why dont you go to your homes
Why dont you keep to yourselves
Im tellin you
Why dont you leave me alone
Youre never gonna realise
When all you do is criticise
Youre never gonna make it work
You never seem to get enough
You crumble when its getting rough
Youre never gonna make it work
Im tellin you therell come a day
Youre gonna blow yourselves away
Its wrong that I should interfere
I just get in the way
Why dont you leave me alone
Why dont you go to your homes
Why dont you keep to yourselves
Im tellin you
Why dont you leave me alone
Deep into the night
He was working by the light
Of the candle by his bed
On the theory in his head
He was building from the junk
That he rescued from the dump
And when he turned the power on
There was a sound and he was gone
Oh in the gray of the dawn
We discovered the thing he was working on
Oh we didnt understand
The future was old mister time
Future was old mister time
Future was old mister time
Future was old mister time
Old mister time (mister time, mister time....)
Old mister time (mister time, mister time....)
Old mister time (mister time, mister time....)

song performed by by 10 Cc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister Fox

Fields sing a winter song
Jack frost is here again
Dressed in a cape of the blackest black silk
Looking for his oldest old friend
But nobodys seen mister fox
No-one has seen mister fox
Reds and blues dart between the trees
And this time the sky is really falling
Jack looks hard through the bracken and the thorns
Listen hey! hear him calling
But nobodys seen mister fox
Nobodys seen mister fox
Fields sing a november tale
Jack is up, set to leave
And as he spreads his cape hes blissfully unaware
Of the wild eyes watching from the trees
But not does he see mister fox
He never sees mister fox

song performed by by Waterboys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No More Mister Nice Guy

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
Until they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends cause they read the papers
They cant be seen with me and Im getting shot down
And Im feeling mean
No more mister nice guy
No more mister clean
No more mister nice guy
They say hes sick , hes obscene
I got no friends cause they read the papers
They cant be seen with me and Im getting shot down
And Im feeling mean
My dog bit me on leg today
My cat clawled my eye
My moms been thrown out of society circle
My dads had to hide
I went to church incognito
When everybody rose, the reserved smith
He recognized me
Punched me in the nose

song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sitamoia

[chorus]
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Gidda gadda aga (?)
Sitamoia
Gidda gadda aga (?)
[chorus]
[chorus]
[chorus]
Hey mister can i shine your shoes?
Hey mister can i sing the blues?
Hey mister do you think it's gonna snow?
Hey mister my heart belongs to glasgow
Hey mister can i ask a question or two?
Hey mister what are we supposed to do?
Children abandoned and left to america
Children forsaken in ethiopia
Hey mister so you think it's gonna snow?
What about the children though?
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
[chorus] to fade

song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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