Mark Twain

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

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Mark Twain

Few sinners are saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

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The Skinflint

The skinflint saved his policies,
The skinflint saved his plugs,
The skinflint saved his first house keys,
The skinflint saved his mugs...

The skinflint saved his chewing gum,
The skinflint saved his rope,
The skinflint saved his small toy drum,
The skinflint saved his soap...

The skinflint saved his worn-out shoes,
The skinflint saved his clothes,
The skinflint saved his tubes of glues,
The skinflint saved his bows...

The skinflint saved his dated files,
The skinflint saved his drapes,
The skinflint saved his airline miles,
The skinflint saved his tapes...

The skinflint saved, yes, on the whole...
The skinflint saved so well?
The skinflint never saved his soul!
So God sent him to Hell...

poem by Denis MartindaleReport problemRelated quotes
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Five Short Minutes

Written by - Jim Croce
Well, she was standing by my dressing room after the show
Asking for my autograph and asked if she could go
Back to my motel room. But the rest is just a tragic tale
Because five short minutes of lovin'
Done brought me twenty long years in jail
Well, like a fool in a hurry I took her to my room
She casted me in plaster while I sang her a tune
Then I said, "Ooh, ooee!" Sure was a tragic tale
Because five short minutes of lovin'
Done brought me twenty long years in jail
Well, then a judge and a jury sat me in a room
They say that robbin' the cradle is worse than robbin' the tomb
Then I said "Ooh, ooee!" Sure was a tragic tale
(Wasn't worth it, wasn't worth it!)
Because five short minutes of lovin'
Done brought me twenty long years in jail
And when I get out of this prison gonna be forty-five
I'll know I used to like to do it but I won't remember why
(Wasn't worth it, wasn't worth it!)
I'll say "Ooh, ooee! Sure was a tragic tale
Because five short minutes of lovin'
Done brought me twenty long years in jail"
Because five short minutes of lovin'
Done brought me twenty long years in jail

song performed by by Jim CroceReport problemRelated quotes
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I Believe In People

people
I still believe in people
inherent
potential good in people
even
poor lost souls life afflicted
time
cry of heart cry of soul
redeems
people who want to change
people
who resolve with purpose
to change
chance acts heroic restore
reputation
atone for human error sin
God
always always loves the sinner
merely
hates levels of deception sin
all
angels in heaven rejoice when
even
one single sinner is repentance saved
time
enough for each day its own evil
time enough
for all who in heaven would be saved


poem by Terence George CraddockReport problemRelated quotes
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Robert Frost

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.

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Who can be Redeemed?

Who can be saved?
So many can be saved -
A rich man and his family,
They can be saved.

But who can be redeemed?
Only souls enslaved.
Only those sold
Can be bought back again.

Those who purchase minds and souls
By sermon, fear or flattery
May not petition for redemption
Or ask how it will set them free.

Those who traded on South Africa
While Mandela worked in jail
Those who issued bonds of war
While Iraq's children died in flames

You who claim to be redeemers
While disowning fields you've sown -
The lands you've stolen, slaves you've owned -
Will pay in different currency
Than any you have yet controlled.

Until you've lived in servitude
To justice and its wondrous law
Until you are the slaves to truth
Redemption is not yours' to know.

poem by Frank BanaReport problemRelated quotes
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Saved By Love

Laura loves her little family,
And shes the kind of woman who loves them with her life.
But sometimes in the evening,
When the world rests on her shoulders
With four walls closing in,
Shell close her eyes.
Oh....
Its not like she misses being younger,
Though she never was in vogue magazine or on tv;
Her husband loves her dearly,
And the morning shows her clearly,
Kisses her little baby girl.
Laura, shes the queen of the world.
Cant imagine ever leaving now,
Now that shes been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
Listen to her quiet heart singing loud.
Laura, shes been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
I know that shes been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
Saved by love.
Theres nothing quite like my familys love to warm me,
And nothing short of deaths gonna ever leave me cold.
Well, still at times its lonely,
But through it all it only
Makes me love jesus more,
And this is what he came here for.
I cant imagine ever leaving now.
Now that Ive been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
Hes gone and turned my crazy world back around,
And Ive been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
I know that Ive been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love....
Oh, Im never leaving now,
Now that Ive been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
Hes gone and turned my crazy world back around,
And Ive been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love.
Amy, shes been saved by love,
Saved by love, saved by love....
Saved by love.
Im saved by love.
Thats right.
And nothing I can say,
Nothing I can do, nothing I can say.
Were all just saved by love.
Nothing you can say, nothing you can do.
Only love can say, only love can do,
Only love can say.
Only love can say, only love can do,
Only love can say.
Im say-yay-yaved by,
Im saved by, by,
Nothing you can do, nothing you can say,
Only love can say....

song performed by by Amy GrantReport problemRelated quotes
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The best sermon is preached by the minister who has a sermon to preach and not by the man who has to preach a sermon.

quote by William FeatherReport problemRelated quotes
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25 Minutes To Go

They're buildin' the gallows outside my cell.
I got 25 minutes to go.

And in 25 minutes I'll be in Hell.
I got 24 minutes to go.

Well, they give me some beans for my last meal.
23 minutes to go.

And you know... nobody asked me how I feel.
I got 22 minutes to go.

So, I wrote to the Gov'nor... the whole damned bunch.
Ahhh... 21 minutes to go.

And I call up the Mayor, and he's out to lunch.

I got 20 more minutes to go.

Well, the Sheriff says, 'Boy, I wanna watch you die'.
19 minutes to go.

I laugh in his face... and I spit in his eye.
I got 18 minutes to go.

Well...I call out to the Warden to hear my plea.
17 minute to go.

He says, 'Call me back in a week or three.
You've got 16 minutes to go.'

Well, my lawyer says he's sorry he missed my case.
Mmmm....15 minutes to go.

Yeah, well if you're so sorry, come up and take my place.
I got 14 minutes to go.

Well, now here comes the padre to save my soul
With 13 minutes to go.

And he's talkin' about burnin', but I'm so damned cold.
I got 12 more minutes to go.

Now they're testin' the trap. It chills my spine.
I got 11 minutes to go.

'Cuz the goddamned thing it works just fine.
I got 10 more minutes to go.

I'm waitin' for the pardon... gonna set me free
With 9 more minutes to go.

But this ain't the movies, so to hell with me.
I got 8 more minutes to go.

And now I'm climbin up the ladder with a scaffold peg
With 7 more minutes to go.

I've betta' watch my step or else I'll break my leg.
I got 6 more minutes to go.

Yeah... with my feet on the trap and my head in the noose...
5 more minutes to go.

Well, c'mon somethin' and cut me loose.
I got 4 more minutes to go.

I can see the mountains. I see the sky.
3 more minutes to go.

And it's too damned pretty for a man to die.
i got 2 more minutes to go

I can hear the buzzards... hear the crows.
1 more minute to go.

And now I'm swingin' and here I gooooooooo....

poem by Sheldon Allan SilversteinReport problemRelated quotes
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How'd You Get So Rich

If you want to ask me
How'd you get so rich?
I'll tell you the story,
the following of which...
I once was a lost sinner
and condemned to hell
But Jesus saved my soul
and now I've a story to tell
Im saved, Im saved,
Jesus ransomed my soul
He gave me eternal riches
and life so abundant and full
Jesus ransomed my soul
with His own shed blood
forgave me of my sin
and pulled me out of the mire and mud
He gave to me an inheritance
that can never be taken away
I'll live with him eternally
and walk on streets of gold someday

poem by Cindy WyattReport problemRelated quotes
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Sinner

Sinner rider, rides in with the storm
The devil rides beside him
The devil is his god, God help you mourn
Do you, do you hear it, do you hear the thunder
Deafen every living thing about
Can you, can you see it, can you
See the mountains darken yonder
Black sun rising, time is running out
Sacrifice to vice or die by the hand of the
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
His steed of fury,
Eyes of fire and mane ablaze
Demonic vultures stalking
Drawn by the smell of war and pain
He roams the starways
Searching for the carcasses of war
But if its hungry then its very presence
Disrupts the calm into the storm
Curse and damn you all youll fall by the hand of the
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
God of the devils, God of the devils
Wont you help them pray
God of the devils, God of the devils
Is there no other way
Cant you hear their souls calling out in their plight
Cant you see their blood is boiling setting them alight
Thirty years now sleeping, so sound
War raises its head, and looks slowly around
The sinner is near, sensing the fear
And the beast will start movin around
Cant you see their souls calling out in their brain
Cant you hear their blood is boiling setting them alight
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sacrifice to vice or die by the hand of the
Curse and damn you all you fall by the hand of the
Sinner!

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Ambrose Bierce

To Her

O, Sinner A, to me unknown
Be such a conscience as your own!
To ease it you to Sinner B
Confess the sins of Sinner C.

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Without Scheduling Nothing Gets Done

Sure...
I will argue with you.
Or debate on any topic you wish.
And there is no need to look surprised.
I am here for 'you'.
I want you to know that.

If you want to take the time with me,
To argue about your stupidity...
I will take the time to show you,
How stupid I use to be...
Before I realized time moves on.
And the time I'm finding now to waste with you,
Has already been scheduled on my 'Waste Of Time' list.

And I refer to this as stupidity,
Because that's exactly what this is.
'Stoo' with a 'pidity'.

And,
I don't want to hurry you.
But you do have three minutes left.
Out of the generosity of my heart,
I've given five people five minutes per week...
To waste a total of twenty five minutes of my time,
To argue or debate or 'whatever' it's called to do with me.

I've learned without scheduling nothing gets done!
Go!
We're on 'your' time.
Not mine.
You can stare as long as you wish.
But you've got two minutes left and that's it!

Don't test me.
I'm serious.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Ten Minutes Aint Enough

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With a chat that sits.
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With eyes that are fixed.
And not drifting.

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

Some may wish a quick...
Beginning that swiftly ends.
With nothing to explore.
But an exit out a door!

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With a chat that sits.
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With eyes that are fixed.
And not just there to lift and drift.

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.

Ten minutes aint enough!

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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The Wizard

I can read what's going through your mind,
I can see what you hide in your eyes,
yeas, I'm gonna put a spell on you,
Just to see exactly what you'll do
I'm a wizard
and there's magic in the air
I'm a sinner
and my friend you'd best beware
there's magic everywhere
can you see the formal in the sky?
time like water flows by till we die
every moment wasted leaves its mark
the setting sun leaves us standing in the dark
I'm a wizard
and there's magic in the air
I'm a sinner
and my friend you'd best beware
I'm a wizard
and there's magic in the air
I'm a sinner
and my friend you'd best beware
there's magic everywhere
One must forgive them noisy rushing fools
Who have no time for natures natural schools
They cannot see the life that's in their hands
Like ghosts they disappear across the land
I'm a wizard
And there's magic in the air
I'm a sinner
And my friend you'd best beware
I'm a wizard
And there's magic in the air
I'm a capturer
And my friend you'd best beware
There's magic everywhere
I'm a wah wah wah wah w-w-w-w-wizard
I'm a s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sinner
I'm a wah wah wah wah w-w-w-w-wizard
I'm a s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sinner
I'm a wah wah wah wah w-w-w-w-wizard
I'm a s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sinner
I'm a wah wah wah wah w-w-w-w-wizard
I'm a s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sinner
I'm a wizard

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A Good Sermon

A good sermon should be like
A miniskirt:
Short enough to arouse interest
But long enough to cover the essentials.
Okay, seal my lips
Since silence is the only statement
That has zero misquote

Please this is not blasphemy
Forgive I if it is
Am I lost?

This's a message to
Him or her who hold
A position to address
Hear me say
A GIANT SERMON
Doesn't raise more converts
Neither does it make you a saint
Stick to this:
A GOOD SERMON!

poem by Buyunde Acura SylivesterReport problemRelated quotes
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Make Your Mama Proud

Now youre pushing 31, duty calls you come and run
Instead of
Now youre pushing 31, duty call you come and run
When will this be over, when will you be done
Instead of
When will this be over, when will you be gone
Be a man, try to be tough
Or
Ill be your man, try to be tough
Instead of
Ill be your man child to be tough
Give me twenty minutes in between
Instead of
Giving twenty minutes in between
(not sure about this one at all)
You can kill yourself, or you can make your mama proud
Instead of
You can be yourself, well you can make your mama proud

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Sit

Sit, drink your coffee here; your work can wait awhile.
You're twenty-six, and still have some life ahead.
No need for wit; just talk vacuities, and I'll
Reciprocate in kind, or laugh at you instead.

The world is too opaque, distressing and profound.
This twenty minutes' rendezvous will make my day:
To sit here in the sun, with grackles all around,
Staring with beady eyes, and you two feet away.

poem by Vikram SethReport problemRelated quotes
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It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

quote by Helen RowlandReport problemRelated quotes
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It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

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