Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just say, 'Hey, has anybody seen my raisins' (Because leeches kind of look like big raisins.)
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gone Are My Nuts
Gone are my nuts.
The ones I mixed up,
With raisins, dried pineapple bits...
And cranberries.
The roasted cashews are over priced.
I replaced them with Brazil,
The shells were so thick...
I got tired of cracking them into bits.
I tried to go without.
As I walked about with nothing to munch.
I prefer a quick snack,
Over a fast food lunch.
Apples and bananas also satisfy.
Or strips of carrots and celery...
To make the long hours of the day fly by.
I once did a vanilla icecream drink.
With Strawberries, bananas and orange juice.
That was good too!
Although the cashews provided the missing link.
Yes...
Gone are my nuts.
The ones I mixed up,
With raisins, dried pineapple bits...
And cranberries.
I don't know what it is...
But that seems to be the 'fix' for me.
As I age and become more aware,
How wonderful I feel...
Being as healthy as I can be!
Even if I have to do without cashews,
In this stressful ridden economy!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Leech
some thoughts cling sometimes
to our minds like leeches
they are hard to remove
and the more you remove them
or try to pull them and throw them away
for good
the more they stick it out with you
like a deep sorrow
like an insistent sadness like
a persistent disappointment
somehow you always take chances of
finally removing them
for you know what that means
an untimely death
a calendar that crumples the numbers
of the days of the month
you get tired finally removing them one by one
because they also multiply themselves
like leeches too tricky along the banks
of a murky river
then one day you give up
another leech lands on your toes
crawls on your feet to your belly
makes a hole there and prides itself as the new
possessor of your private territory.
you watch without feelings you let it stay
your hands caress them
and your mind rests on the comfort of more pains
like vacant chairs in a vacant room
it is you there alone without any competition.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence.
Christian's happy time
Carrots and raisins get used
For the big snowman
haiku by Shanthosh Suganthan
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Christian's happy time
Carrots and raisins get used
For the big snowman
haiku by Shanthosh Suganthan
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There Comes A Time
there comes a time
you least expect
when hiding your
true feelings within
becomes more painful
than when you let it out
open to the sun
letting them wilt
like some raisins
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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If You Got It, Flaunt It
Youll never compete with the others!
Why, look at the way youre dressed!
Come on now, get yourself together!
Baby if you got it
You have got to flaunt it now
Baby if you flaunt it
You can make them want it now baby
Yes, I got it
And Im gonna flaunt it now
Gonna make him want it
Yeah Im gonna flaunt it now
Sister thinks shes got it
And shes gonna flaunt it now
(who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are? )
Sister thinks shes got it
And shes gonna flaunt it now
(who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are? )
Sister thinks shes got it
And shes gonna flaunt it now
(who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are? )
All you catty creatures,
Ive got my better features too
So step aside you leeches,
Im gonna teach a little trick to you
Baby if you got it
You had better flaunt it now
Baby if you flaunt it
You can make him want it now
Baby yes, I got it
And Im gonna flaunt it now
Gonna make him want it
cause Im gonna flaunt it now
Sister thinks shes got it,
And shes gonna flaunt it now
(who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are? )
Sister thinks shes got it,
And shes gonna flaunt it now
(who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are? )
Sister thinks shes got it,
And shes gonna flaunt it now
(who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are? )
All you catty creatures
Ive got my better features too
Step aside you leeches
cause I can teach a trick to you
I can teach you how to walk and talk
How to hold you head high
And I can flaunt my stuff as good as anybody else
I can shake my hip, or my thigh
Ill make you wanna run someplace and hide
cause I got it, and Im gonna flaunt it
Sister thinks shes got it
And shes gonna flaunt it now
(who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are? )
Sister thinks shes got it
And shes gonna flaunt it now
(who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are? )
All you catty creatures
Youve gotta get out of my way right now
Step aside all you leeches
Ive got a trick and Ill show you how
Spoken:
Anyways, Ill teach you a trick or two
song performed by by Donna Summer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One More Minute
(constant doo wops in the background throughout the song)
Aahh....
Well I heard that youre leavin (leavin)
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that Im not your kind (aahh..)
So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my rolodex (oohh..)
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)
Thats right (thats right) you aint gonna see me cryin
Im glad (Im glad) that you found somebody new
cause Id rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you
I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
cause Im stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps
Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You aint (you aint) gonna break my heart in two
cause Id rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you
Id rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
Id rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again
Oh, cant you see what Im tryin to say, darlin...
Id rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
Id rather clean all the bathroom in grand central station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you
Yes, Id rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
Id rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you
Id rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die
Than spend one more minute with you
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't think most people associate me with leeches or how to get them off. But I know how to get them off. I'm an expert at it.
quote by Oliver L. North
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Distance Does Not Exist
to people with some questions
in their minds
and to people who care to listen
just plain
talking
without any vested interest
for what i owe
and what you owe
to me
for us who keep
on opening our hearts
and keeping
our fingers
busy with words
the ones
that we choose
not to hurt
but to elucidate
and
enlighten and make other people feel
that this world
is kind
compassionate
always ready
to listen
and be heard
for us
a toast, we just made it
we abolished distances
and now
the rule
is this
pure and simple intimacy
good thoughts
and wishes of health
may the force be with us
may distances shrink like raisins
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Once From Their Sight 'Your' Treasures Leave
As long as someone 'assumes' there is a benefit,
You will be shown some aspect of respect.
By those who prioritize the feeding of their needs.
And you might be left to believe,
Any attention you receive from them...
Is a result of your radiant personality.
There is nothing wrong with 'your' perception.
If from them you now get a wished reception.
In an atmosphere of shared embellishments.
We all keep some delusions handy and accessible.
However,
This is generally the 'observed' scenerio:
If you have nothing others can value,
Or 'things' available that impress...
On sight and can be used.
To address 'their' hangups and insecurities?
No one is brave enough to face seriously.
You will not maintain their attention!
Listen...
Maybe with a mention of disgust on their lips.
That's just how it is when people are first taught,
To worship...
And 'prey'
On others with a solicitation that leeches,
In support of their greed!
This is felt as you will witness this.
Especially once from their sight,
'Your' treasures leave!
That's just how it is when people are first taught,
To worship...
And 'prey'
On others with a solicitation that leeches,
In support of their greed!
That's just how it is...
In the land of 'opportunity'.
Where the breeding of this has yet to cease.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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On a Bed of Romaine
On a bed of Romaine,
Sliced avocado.
Garden tomatoes.
Fresh cucumbers.
Celery and carrots...
Kissed by,
Vadalia Onion Dressing.
And topped with raisins.
Blanketed,
By an awaiting tongue.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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And then there's all these other creeps that surround your band and suck off you like leeches and try to manipulate you and your business. You have to watch like a hawk. I'm always ready to fight. I see it very much as a battle.
quote by Shirley Manson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Orchard
Sweet as the sap from the
nectar tree
Is the love
Which you give
Exclusuveky unto me
Ripe as a cluster of raisins
Which grew in the sun
Is our love
This day as
From the day we begun
Luscious as a honey dew melon
You are and
shall forever be
A seal
A signature
on my heart
For all
to see
poem by Angel A. Lockwood
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To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukaemia with leeches.
quote by Margaret Thatcher
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Those Raisin Dreams....
remembering those raisins
ah, those dreams long exposed
to the sundry suns
& the
myriad moons
untouched on dreadful days and somersaulting summers
so dry, dark brown, wrinkled,
lacking the gloss
of those
happy days of yore
and yet when tasted are still too sweet
the soul
salivates......
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Upsetting That Which Leeches
A process to correct,
Has become a direct effectiveness.
All of nature has set its sites,
On that which has defected its naturalness.
And nature has begun to correct this.
Upsetting that which leeches,
With a disbelief by the method of revenge!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Clearly Not the Leeches
The choice is quite clear.
On one side are those,
Of decadent minds.
Breeders of secrets and deceit.
Experienced at it.
And they want their defects known.
On the other hand...
You have those who are thoughtful and concern.
Honest with their assessments.
And do not deny,
There are lessons they need to learn.
But they are clearly not the leeches...
Who taught everyone how to enjoy,
Dignifying themselves...
As they do backstrokes in cesspools.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Discreeted Deceit Defeats You
Your shame now shows a blemish.
You would like to diminish,
The exposure of it all.
But pretensions have dressed
An unconfessed illness manifested!
A cure has been found...
To surround with a painful healing.
Discreeted deceit defeats you!
And the leeches that have chosen to keep
Denials as a weapon to defend weaknesses...
Are shown to have fed their needs on division!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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