I think a new, different kind of bowling should be 'carpet bowling.' It's just like regular bowling, only the lanes are carpet instead of wood. I don't know why we should do this, but my God, we've got to try something
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Umina Bowling Club
There’s nothing that’s finer when you are in Umina
Than bowling right up to the friendly bowling club
There’s nothing that’s finer when you are in Umina
Than dropping in for just a drink or some good grub.
Behind the bar you’ll find our Suzy, Linda and Michelle
When you come in you’ll get a welcome and a smile as well
And if the mood should ever take you to the pokie room
There’s all the games that might just make your fortune very soon.
There’s nothing that’s finer when you are in Umina
Than bowling right up to the friendly bowling club
There’s nothing that’s finer when you are in Umina
Than dropping in for just a drink or some good grub
On Thursday nights the club is packed when bingo starts at four
And Friday concerts – there’s no extra charges at the door
Our raffles too, they need an extra special mention
Its your happiness that’s our intention.
There’s nothing that’s finer when you are in Umina
Than bowling right up to the friendly bowling club
There’s nothing that’s finer when you are in Umina
Than dropping in for just a drink or some good grub.
Now, when leaving, should you think you’re over the limit
We’ve got a bus that takes you home – no paying for a ticket
So if you’re young or if you’re old or somewhere in between
Just come along, join up with us and find out what we mean.
There’s nothing that’s finer when you are in Umina
Than bowling right up to the friendly bowling club
There’s nothing that’s finer when you are in Umina
Than dropping in for just a drink or some good grub.
poem by David Keig
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The Successful
I am a member of success,
You are also in my address-
The very resident I know
Over rest, the one to bow.
It is bowling that is problem,
Not real sport, but venom.
I need a vampire to show me
What venom is and to be.
It is bowling and all,
Fruit of a tall ball.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Ronald Reagan gave our party a bowling alley image as opposed to a country club image. We were talking to people who go bowling on Thursday night, and they were understanding what we were saying.
quote by Pete du Pont
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Living in Bowling Green (Ghazal)
Excuse me, but my favorite color isn’t green
Even though I live in the city of Bowling Green.
In its history the people played such lively games.
On many sunny days their fun was bowling on the Green.
In his boyhood here there lived a man named Duncan Hines.
One day you might find his colored cakes in Irish green.
Oh yes, this city is the home of the car Corvette.
If it pleases you, you can own one painted blue green.
The school my son attended here was Bowling Green High.
His closest friend in French class was Emily Green.
About once a week I visit our Bowling Green Mall.
There you can plainly see its signs printed all in green.
With pollution and economy the way they are,
I am happy to see the city still going green.
- October 3,2009
Published online Dec.21,2009 by The Ghazal Page in the Color Radif Challenge Issue. Go to: http: //www.ghazalpage.net/
poem by Ben Gieske
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Red Bowling Ball Ruth
well pay attention
attention to my words
I love you
I don't know what you heard
and this fire
has got to go for sure
red bowling ball
red bowling ball ruth
well that's something
then I shall know the truth
I said you roll it
and then it breaks your tooth
[?]
[?] the wrong town
I love this girl
so hell shall come around
and you leavin'
will be the only sound
song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bowling Shoes
Bowling Shoes
FoW
Hey now baby dont be shy
I saw you with another guy
He was short but his hair was long
He had your sunglasses on
Ba bada ba ba baah
Ba bada ba ba baah
Picked you up in a German car
He took you out to an Irish bar
You drank bar from a plastic cup
Till you were barely standin up
Ba bada ba ba baah
Ba bada ba ba baah
And now youve got some explaining to do
So come on baby wont you tell me the news
I dont know who you think youre trying to fool
But I know where youve been going so dont bother with the bowling shoes
Tuesday night you were out again
With a bunch of your stoner high school friends
Called me up said you might be late
And you ended up in another state
Ba bada ba ba baah
Ba bada ba ba baah
And now youve got some explaining to do
So come on baby wont you tell me the news
I dont know who you think youre trying to fool
But I know where youve been going so dont bother with the bowling shoes
BRIDGE
I want a love that will last forever
But it seems like you and me just cant quite get it together
I want a lover I can take for granted
But you give me the blues each time I catch you red-handed
BREAK
Hey now baby dont you lie
I saw you with another guy
He looked dumb but it sure did smart
When you held his hand and you broke my heart
Ba bada ba ba baah
And now youve got some explaining to do
So come on baby wont you tell me the news
I dont know who you think youre trying to fool
But I
Know where youve been going so dont bother with the bowling
Know where youve been going so dont bother with the bowling
Know where youve been going
song performed by by Fountains Of Wayne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Real state
Sally getting drunk at the bowling alley then arriving at the casino passed out, can barely stand 5 dollar bets arm in arm between two people blindly pushing buttons, eats shit once I fell so she wouldn't be on the ground alone, pappy with the pinched neck, Jude, Julia, Whitney, Mustang Sally, she had two bloody marries pitcher of beer and pizza at the bowling alley, I stole bowling shoes, snaked peoples turns threw all gutters, Sally drinks 4 or 5 shots barely standing call… tells about her dad friend who everyone calls HB for Hardly Breathing... she chokes me in an elevator, bleeds from her head... all the losers crane after the drunken girl stuck like the middle reel on a money machine...
poem by Jerome Moore
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Generic Blues
I woke up this morning
Then I went back to bed
Said I woke up this morning
Then I went right back to bed
Got a funny kind of feelin like I got broken glass in my underwear
And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head
You know what Im sayin
Well I aint got not money
Im just walkin down the road
Said I aint got no money, honey
So Im just walking down this lonely old road
Well, I wish I could get me some money
But I forgot my automated teller code
I was born in a paper sack in the bottom of a sewer
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast, my family was so poor
My daddy was a waitress, my mama sold bathroom tiles
My brothers and sisters all hated me cause I was an only child
I got the blues so bad, woo
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe Ill blow my brains out mama
Or maybe ill, yeah maybe Ill just go bowlin instead
Im just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime
Nothing but a low-down beer bellied, bone headed, pigeon toed, turkey necked, weasle faced, worthless hunk of slime
Guess I pretty low self image
Maybe its a chemical imbalance or something -- i
I should probably go and see a doctor about it when Ive got the time
Make it talk
Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk
Ok, now make it shut up
Plagues and famine and pestilence always seem to get me down
I always feel so miserable whenever Im around
I wish somebody would come along, stick a pitchfork through my brain
Id flush myself right down the toilet, but Id just clog up the drain
I got the blues so bad
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe Ill blow my brains out mama
Or maybe Ill go bowling
Or I just might go bowling
Maybe Ill just rent some shoes and go bowling
Maybe Ill join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid looking
Shirt and go bowling instead
Yeah
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Every bowling center should have a house pro.
quote by Don Johnson
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I haven't had sex in eight months. To be honest, I now prefer to go bowling.
I vividly remember bowling 20 + games a day, 2 or 3 times a week.
I started bowling when I was 14, my freshman year in high school.
I was a little, skinny, runt kid, and I decided that bowling was what I was going to do in life.
quote by Don Johnson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Now I do bowling, golf, and tennis. I want to be a good bowler.
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
quote by Alan Bleasdale
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Well, my hand never fell off, and within no time, I was bowling competitively in leagues and tournaments.
I hate middle age. Too young for the bowling green, too old for Ecstasy.
quote by Ian Pattison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head.
quote by Martin Mull
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Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
quote by Martin Mull
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People Who Read People Magazin
(Kinky Friedman)
Well, I'm here to say I got turned away from Studio 54
Back to neon lights and lonely nights and saw-dust on the floor
And if she ever loved me, she don't love me anymore,
And if anyone should ask me, here's who I'm singing for:
For the people who read People Magazine,
For the soap opera lovers, for the home-town bowling team,
For everybody everywhere who's ever lost a dream,
For the people who read people who read People Magazine.
Now if you're too New York for Texas, too Texas for L.A.
You been chasing trends like rainbow ends but you're always just a song away
And if the White House wouldn't have ya, play in every little honky-tonk and bar
The good Lord made the Heavens, ah but He never made a star.
No, its the people who read People Magazine,
It's the soap opera lovers, its the home-town bowling team,
It's everybody everywhere who's ever lost a dream,
For the people who read people who read People Magazine.
And to tell you the truth this telephone booth gets lonesome in the rain,
But son, I'm 21 in Nashville and I'm 43 in Maine.
And when your mama gets home, would you tell her I phoned, it'd take a life-time to explain
That I'm a country-picker with a bumper-sticker that says: ?God Bless John Wayne?.
And bless the people who read People Magazine,
Bless the soap opera lovers, bless the home-town bowling team,
Bless everybody everywhere who's ever lost a dream,
For the people who read people who read People Magazine.
Bless the people who read people who read People Magazine.
song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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