Woody Harrelson

And Garrison Keillor I think is a fascinating guy and really entertaining.

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Garrison Keillor

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

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Garrison Keillor

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

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Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

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Garrison Keillor

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

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Garrison Keillor

I want to resume the life of a shy person.

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Garrison Keillor

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

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Garrison Keillor

The funniest line in English is ""Get it?"" When you say that, everyone chortles.

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Garrison Keillor

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

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Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

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Garrison Keillor

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

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Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

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Garrison Keillor

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

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Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

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Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

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Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

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Garrison Keillor

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

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Garrison Keillor

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

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Garrison Keillor

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

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Garrison Keillor

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.

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Garrison Keillor

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

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