Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
quote by Garrison Keillor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Average Guy
I aint no christian or no born again saint
I aint no cowboy or marxist d.a.
I aint no criminal or reverend cripple from the right
I am just your average guy, trying to do whats right
Im just your average guy
An average guy
I am just your average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy, Im just your average guy
Im average looking and Im average inside
Im an average lover and I live in an average place
You wouldnt know me if you met me face to face
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
I worry about money and taxes and such
I worry that my livers big and it hurts to the touch
I worry about my health and bowels
And the crime waves in the street
Im really just your average guy
Trying to stand on his own two feet
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average looks, average taste
Average height, an average waist
Average in everything I do
My temperature is 98.2
Im just your average guy
An average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
quote by Garrison Keillor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Women of the working class, especially wage workers, should not have more than two children at most. The average working man can support no more and and the average working woman can take care of no more in decent fashion.
quote by Margaret Sanger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Ballade Of The Average Reader
I try to touch the public taste,
For thus I earn my daily bread.
I try to write what folks will paste
In scrap books after I am dead.
By Public Craving I am led.
(I' sooth, a most despotic leader)
Yet, though I write for Tom and Ned,
I've never seen an average reader.
The Editor is good and chaste,
But says: (Above the public's head;
This is _too_ good; 'twill go to waste.
Write something commonplacer-
Ed.)
Write for the average reader, fed
By pre-digested near-food's feeder,
But though my high ideals have fled,
I've never _seen_ an average reader.
How many lines have been erased!
How many fancies have been shed!
How many failures might be traced
To this-this average-reader dread!
I've seen an average single bed;
I've seen an average garden-weeder;
I've seen an average cotton thread-
I've _never_ seen an average _reader_.
L'ENVOI
Most read of readers, if you've read
The works of any old succeeder,
You know that he, too, must have said:
'I've never seen an Average Reader.'
poem by Franklin P. Adams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I've always said when I broke in I was an average player. I had an average arm, average speed and definitely an average bat. I am still average in all of those.
quote by Brooks Robinson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Women Seem
Written by John Mellencamp
Women seem to like me
They seem to like what I have to say
When they see me out in public
Women seem to look my way
Women seem to treat me so gracious
They sing me to sleep with a song
But there always seems to be a problem
Women don't seem to like me long
Yeah Yeah Yeah
Women seem to want me
To stay with them all night
We have so much in common
Our futures really do seem bright
Women seem to forgive me
They seem to become my very good friends
But when it comes time for a commitment
The romance always seems to end
They tell me all their stories
We lay awake and talk all night
Maybe it's me I don't know
But in the morning there always seems to be some kind of fight
La La La La La
Well women seem to be so clever
I love all the jokes that they tell
Like my last boyfriend really hurt me in bed
Hey but you seem to fit so well
Women sure can hurt your feelings
They can burn you down and not make a sound
And then they call me up and say hey come over
My husband has just left town
They tell me all their stories
We lay awake and laugh all night
Maybe it's me I don't know
But in the morning there always seems to be some kind of fight
Women seem to love houses
I've bought a couple for one or two
Women seem to think all men are louses
And I guess I think so too
Women seem so much smarter
Than your average Joe
Women seem to be a little more intuitive
And when they lie nobody knows
Well women seem to know how to keep a secret
They don't blabbermouth just for show
Fifty percent of their charm is illusion
And that is a good thing to know
-aca
song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rougher Than The Average
R- ray a- anita
A: Im the a, the n, the i, t, a
Once youre with me, youll always wanna stay
cause Ill make you feel good. never blue..
To put it simple: Im a dream come true!
A: please, baby..ya gotta let me go
Of course ya wanna stay, ha, I know
But time is precious. time is money.
Im rougher than the average, remember that honey!
R: I live my life, do nothing to fear
Always tough, shed no tear
Bass in your face, the electric bomb
Dont just stand there...come on, come on!
The contrast megablast are for everlast
Ill put you down in a microphone contest
2 unlimited put you to the test..
Rougher than the average, yeah were the best!
A: rougher than the average; honey!
A: remember that honey!
A: most guys I love, some guys I hate
cause some guys underestimate
The things I do, and the things I can
Rougher than the average is what I am!
R: check me out while Im coming on strong
This is the ray, no, never do you wrong!
Always the right girls spend the night
Take you down as quick as dynamite
Rougher than the average, yeah, thats me
Fresh and dope as you can see
Girl, in my room, and in, out we go
Rougher than the average...let the bass go!
song performed by by 2 Unlimited
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rougher Than Average (Rap)
I'm the "a", the "n", the "i", "t", "a".
Once you're with me, you'll always wanna stay,
'cause I'll make you feel good. Never blue..
To put it simple: I'm a dream come true!
Please, baby..ya gotta let me go.
Of course ya wanna stay, ha, I know.
But time is precious. Time is money.
I'm rougher than the average,
Remember that honey!
I live my life, do nothing to fear.
Always tough, shed no tear.
Bass in your face, the electric bomb--
Don't just stand there...come on, come on!
The contrast megablast are for everlast,
I'll put you down in a microphone contest.
2 Unlimited put you to the test...
Rougher than the average, yeah we're the best!
Remember that honey!
Most guys I love, some guys I hate,
'cause some guysunderestimate
The things I do, and the things I can.
Rougher than the average is what I am!
Check me out while I'm coming on strong.
This is the Ray, no, never do you wrong!
Always the right girls spend the night,
Take you down as quick as dynamite.
Rougher than the average, yeah, that's me..
Fresh and dope as you can see.
Girl, in my room, and in, out we go..
Rougher than the average...let the bass go
song performed by by 2 Unlimited
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Two Sided Love
Two Sided Love
By Lori Triggs
Copyrighted 24 2009
Women think with their hearts,
men think with their Johnson.
Women think with their heads,
men think with the wrong head, they have two heads.
Women give love with men,
men give screwing with women.
Women want to touch men,
men want to get abusive to women.
Women want be emotional with men,
men want to be unemotional with women.
Women want have physical attraction with men,
men want to give the abusive apart to women.
Women want sex with men,
men want to give rape to women.
Women wants to talk to men,
men want watch TV and screw women.
Women want to eat out with men,
men want a free ride from the women.
Women want to go to movies with men,
men want play games on computer.
Women want children with the men,
men are children.
Women are independent,
men are dependent.
Women achieve goals,
men half the time never finish their goals.
Women are unselfish even caring to men,
men are selfish besides uncaring to women.
Women give true love to men,
men give infatuation to woman.
poem by Lori Triggs
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Soul Dies
Sky overcast, moon was sad.
Ashes were sent to the lake.
Who killed the bird in morning rain?
Ashes were sent to the lake.
A hidden slaughterman did not die.
Ashes were sent to the lake.
The good old name now spells the doom.
Ashes were sent to the lake.
I will call you in pitch-dark night.
Ashes were sent to the lake.
Ascending gods have ruined my life.
Ashes were sent to the lake.
A child was stolen from a mother’s bed.
Ashes were sent to the lake.
poem by Satish Verma
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Power to the Women of the World
Power to the women of the world
Women with W for winners
Women with O for Order
Women with M for Movement and mothers of hope
Women with E for energy, everywhere, every time
Women with N for Necessity
Women of the world
Our struggle needs your attention
Our struggle needs your support
Your children in on earth have no future
Your children in in the wolrd will die, if you sit
Your children in in the world are dying
Your husbands are culturally polluted and they are dying
Your pots are blown by light air
Your fire have burned months ago
Your future is no more
But this is your time
Your time to rise Women of the world
Power to the women of the country
Power to women
Power
poem by Alex Lushaba
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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what I see...
when i look in the mirror
what do i see?
see a young women trying to find the right path
a young women trying to do whats best for us
the daughter that was never planned but yet brought so much happiness.
u can tell the girl standing in front of the mirror has been through so much
so much it made her the person who she is today...
a strong hearted women who can get through anything if she put her all into it.
but behind that strong women, is a women who isn't as strong as she thought.
a women who quits when things get ruff,
a women who is afraid of change,
afraid of doing the wrong things
afraid of losing the ones that mean the most
when i look into the mirror,
what do i see?
see a young women who is willing to do whats right.
willing to take that next step
willing to start the future over and have a new begining.
see a young women
who is finally letting the past not get the best of her
and moving forward.
-tiffany
poem by Tiffany Carter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Extraordinary
You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me
Yeah, I'd drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To you, to make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?
So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Me...... I'm all women
I am a women of oneself
I am me
I am a women that can make a difference
And so I am a women that can change.
I am a strong machine.....made of all women material
I am a women that doesnt depend on no one but herself
I am a women that love herself and her surroundings........
Are u a woman 2?
poem by Luisa Sanchez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Women I Know
Strong are the women
In my family.
Every last one...
Seem to have the strength,
To shadow some men...
As if they had none!
And f-i-n-e! Yes!
Beautiful with power.
Mothers who have raised children.
Some without their fathers.
To become themselves...
Strong and bright!
And dynamic in one's sight!
And yes...
They too,
Are f-i-n-e!
Some ask me 'why'...
I have no better half!
Why I am divorce?
And my relationships seem not to last!
I know the answer...
Of course!
Strong are the women
In my family.
Every last one...
Seem to have the strength,
To shadow some men...
As if they had none!
And the men in my family,
Are even stronger than some!
And...
Yes!
They too are f-i-n-e!
And I am left spoiled.
Wishing for one like them!
Not the men! !
But then...
These women I know and related to...
Are few in the market!
And I have stopped shopping...
For a companion to compare!
Beauty, strength and independence are rare.
And these women in my family have it all!
And even more to spare.
I would have to leave this Earth...
To discover someone not to compare,
To these women I love!
And we are related too!
This for me is so difficult.
For me to feel this...
Is so unfair!
However...
No burden is this do I bare!
But then..
To know so many women,
With qualities I like!
Cousins or aunts...
Of my blood 'everywhere'!
And joke,
I do not!
It's true.
Every woman I ever adored...
Has my last name too!
Yeeeessss!
God...
Please lift me from this curse!
hahahahaha
I can't like some I know...
Rehearse wedding after wedding,
After wedding after wedding!
Addicted to romantic delusions!
I know what I'll do!
I will move.
Build a hut in the Amazon.
Or the Congo!
And get it on...
With the monkeys!
Feeling free not to bother,
To ask for ID.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Woman Thou art Free
To be a woman there are certain characteristics that you embody
That set you apart, ain't nothing like a strong woman with a good heart.
Some say they curse the day God made woman, but only God understand that he created it
for us to see the good and the bad, life for some without a woman is really sad.
The woman was made to feel the pain and the man to work the land.
But in everything God had a plan.
Women have come a long way from the kitchen to the runway.
Women have broken down all barriers,
and have proven to be able to compete at all levels, so much that it marvels.
Women's long battle for equality and right have gotten them to unite.
Their strength and unity have given them the courage to embrace every opportunity
under the social and economical horizon;
they are now prospering over the men in the dozens.
They now take full advantage for all the times they've been denied passage.
Women have become leaders, more than conquerors,
strong educators, powerful motivators and labourers.
Yet women have not forgotten their role in the home, though some are not full-time.
A little independence is not a crime. But still they are able to make the house a home,
put food on the table, keep their lives stable
for at the end of the day, at home is where their hearts will always stay
so we thank God for Women's Day.
International Women's Day 2012
poem by Mysia Hayling
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Aparna
Healthy and strong,
Something in the black polythene moved!
And i want ot inform you about it.
Life is like the separation of the placenta and,
You have to look before you jump over this lake;
For i am your true lover on this side of the lake.
Aparna, your message is straight to my heart;
And, i will be very strong and healthy for you always.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Soroptimist International
I have found friends, friends who care,
They live the whole world over.
Women who love life,
Women who are strong,
Women who help women,
Empower, empower, empower.
As a young woman, I needed
Help, encouragement and to be empowed.
I was struggling as a single mom
Working full time and oh so tired
With two children by the hand - when
The Soroptimist Training Award
Chosen, I was chosen, It was mine.
The next semester courses were paid for
With the help I received, no longer did I worry for
I completed my diploma and onward to my goal!
Working hard in social service agencies
Helping others as I could
Finally the day arrived when a Ph.D. was mine.
Thirteen years in private family counselling
Children grown and doing well
I returned to the place where it all started
To Soroptimists and I must tell -
The story of my award and the life it brought to me
Through kind and loving women
Who care when it seems there is no sign.
I am excited with each step
As I learn and go forward
Women teaching women and
Women helping women
It is my time to give
My time to empower women with
An organization I believe in.
To take on the challenges of life
Domestic violence and trafficking
So demoralizing to women and their children
Public education, important as it is
Educate all who will listen to the stats and stories told.
We all know of the hardships women endure
So, give, empower, teach, and train.
Women helping women-
Soroptimists, Soroptimists, Hurray for Soroptimists!
poem by Eva L. Shaw
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Children laugh an average of three hundred or more times a day; adults laugh an average of five times a day, we have a lot of catching up to do.
quote by Heather King
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What Women Want
Hello, my name is "Dr." Rebecca Pinson.
I am here today to tell you what women want.
For the most part, women want a man that will
actually love them for who they are!
It is hard to find men that will truly do that.
Next, women need money.
As a result, the loving man must have
no problem handing over his money!
Women act as though they hate this, but after
it is over, they really love this.
Women love children.
Well, that is all we have time for today,
good night and good bye for now.
poem by Rebecca Ann Pinson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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