Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.
quote by Tommy Armour
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The academic mind can eat away the very basis of its own assurance ... produce contortions when it tries to bend over backward ... allow itself to be dismayed by the picture it has created of relentless historical process.
quote by Herbert Butterfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Awkward Age
I should have know that you were only just fifteen
You had a scowl like a Klingon beauty queen
Old enough to stand out but to young to stand with pride
So uncomfortable in your messed-up skin
And the cool parties never let you in
I can still relate to being so high and dry
Don't cry...
You're just at an awkward age
We'll all be fine
Disgraceful under pressure
Don't toe the line
You're just at an awkward age
Don't cry- just an awkward age
Don't cry
You're just at an awkward...
You look at me like i know what's going on
I'm looking back and i wonder what went wrong
I really thought by now a few things might clarify
I got a mind that goes out to lunch for days
And a body that sometimes disobeys
I get into the parties but i hate them 'cos i'm shy
Oh my...
I'm still at an awkward age
We'll all be fine
Disgraceful under pressure
Don't toe the line
You're just at an awkward age
Don't cry- just an awkward age
Don't cry
You're just at an awkward...
We're supposed to be happy
Supposed to be tough
Supposed to be flawless
Snd buy the right stuff
They want us all swimming
Don't care if we drown
Do don't let 'em take you down
It's a scary mountain to climb up without a guide
Besides...
We live in an awkward age
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The one thing we know about torture is that it was never designed in the first place to get at the actual truth of anything; it was designed in the darkest days of human history to produce false confessions in order to annihilate political and religious dissidents. And that is how it always works: it gets confessions regardless of their accuracy.
quote by Andrew Sullivan
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Everyone is like a butterfly, they start out ugly and awkward and then morph into beautiful graceful butterflies that everyone loves.
quote by Drew Barrymore
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
quote by Winston Churchill
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
quote by Winston Churchill
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fishing or Golf, Take your Pick
Do you golf? I've been asked this question a great deal
But I answer with a smile, "Hey, a golf ball won't make a meal."
If you use your driver or iron, whatever your whim
I reply, "I would rather try to teach a worm to swim."
Some argue, you get exercise by walking from hole to hole
You can't do that sitting in a boat holding a pole.
No matter if you golf or fish, both cost a lot of dough
And both result in making your wife a fishing or golf widow.
One can't be sure which sport is really the best
Until you have tried both, passed the inevitable test.
So, if you can worm your way through all this confusion
You might fish around and land a sound conclusion.
This won't decrease your drive nor will you be less on the ball
By weighing the pros and cons for each sport overall.
Golfing has some prestige whereas fishing does not
So pick your choice, determine your own lot.
You can't make a mistake whichever one you choose
Cause after all, what have you got to lose
So my friends, if we don't always agree
Fish around for your solution, it may fit you to a tee.
poem by Jr. William B. Booth
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A new constitution should be more amendable. A needlessly confusing system of courts should be altered to produce an arrangement that would be simple, responsible, and less awkward.
quote by Charles Edison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Graceful Celebration
Today is a graceful celebration
with shiny sunny skies, sparkling, glistening, gleaming
The celebration is in the company we keep.
The mood we meet in the morning
Today is a graceful celebration
angels flying in the sky
Today is a graceful celebration
fireworks going off in the twilight
Today is a graceful celebration
moon is peaking out of the clouds
Today was....a graceful celebration Tommorrow will even be better :)
poem by Kimberly Anderson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The administration still wants to govern from the far-left and that's going to produce kind a partisan result here in the Congress.
quote by Mitch McConnell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Procrastination
When my day is done and I reflect
there is always something I detect
that I didn't accomplish on this day.
I try to vow on the next day at dawn
to get it done before that day's gone.
And if I don't it's then I say
'Procrastination is an excuse.'
But even that doesn't produce
the desired result in any way.
poem by Edwina Reizer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Who in the same given time can produce more than others has vigor; who can produce more and better, has talents; who can produce what none else can, has genius.
quote by Johann Kaspar Lavater
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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As the revenue of the farmer is realized in raw produce, or in the value of raw produce, he is interested, as well as the landlord, in its high exchangeable value, but a low price of produce may be compensated to him by a great additional quantity.
quote by David Ricardo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm getting better now, but I used to be incredibly awkward with girls. I think any guy who says 'I've never had an awkward moment with a girl' is a liar.
quote by Daniel Radcliffe
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thunderbolt
I am the result of a thunderbolt,
That struck and stayed bold.
I am that result of a thunderbolt.
I'm that thunderbolt staying bold.
I'm the result of a thunderbolt,
That struck and stayed bold.
I am that result of a thunderbolt.
I'm that thunderbolt that remained bold.
You may decide to run and hide.
But I've learned throughout my life...
Those who run let life slip by,
And cry in denial.
Setting themselves up...
For struggles and trials.
When I was young I was often hushed,
I would question too much.
With unedited questions asked.
To connect in my mind to grasp.
I am the result of a thunderbolt,
That struck and stayed bold.
I'm that result of a thunderbolt.
I'm that thunderbolt that remained bold.
I am the result of a thunderbolt.
I'm that result of a thunderbolt.
And with a boldness I still hold.
When I was young I was often hushed,
I would question too much.
With unedited questions asked.
To connect in my mind to grasp.
Zip zap crack with answers due.
Answer my questions asked of you!
I'm the result of a thunderbolt,
That struck and stayed bold.
I'm that result of a thunderbolt.
I'm that thunderbolt that remained bold.
Zip zap crack with answers due.
Answer my questions asked of you!
I am the result of a thunderbolt,
That struck and stayed bold.
I am the result of a thunderbolt.
I'm that thunderbolt that remained bold.
There were no shoulders for me to hold.
I am the result of a thunderbolt.
There were no shoulders for me to hold.
I am that result of a thunderbolt.
I'm that result of a thunderbolt.
I am that result of a thunderbolt.
There were no shoulders with warm holds.
I am the result of a thunderbolt.
I am the result of a thunderbolt.
I am the result of a thunderbolt.
I might have been precocious!
But not braggadocious.
I am that result of a thunderbolt.
I am that result of a thunderbolt.
I am that result of a thunderbolt.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Man is an artifact designed for space travel. He is not designed to remain in his present biologic state any more than a tadpole is designed to remain a tadpole.
quote by William S. Burroughs
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Often Heard
The difference between you and me?
I am forced to live my life.
With the confronting of obstacles,
As they occur.
On a daily basis.
You...
Are often heard,
Asking for suggestions.
And if recommendations are appropriate.
Only to be convinced,
Your own shadow cast...
Should not produce or result in fear.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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