There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true.
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We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.
quote by Robert Wilensky
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare
quote by Blair Houghton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about ... five minutes.
If an army of monkeys were strumming on typewriters, they might write all the books in the British Museum.
quote by Arthur Eddington
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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More Fun Than A Barrel Of Monkeys
there are multiple questions pertaining to the concept,
'more fun than a barrel of monkeys.'
how big is the barrel?
how many monkeys are we talking about?
how big are the monkeys? Are we talking spider monkeys, chimps, baboons or what?
Are the monkeys old or young and where's the barrel, inside or outside?
If you leave the monkeys in the barrel, you got a problem:
they'll die in their own excrement,
if you lift the lid and let them out,
they might kill you.
a monkey can rip out your eyes, is that fun?
monkeys, leaping and running around the house, can do a lot of damage, is that fun?
monkeys are dirty, so... what exactly do you consider fun?
what's it going to be like trying to get the monkeys back in the barrel?
would that be fun?
what would the neighbors think of you, if you released the monkeys into their yards?
what happens if the police gets involved?
it could mean everything imaginable is more fun than a barrel of these animals.
maybe even more fun than a barrel of human beings.
poem by Richard Jarboe
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Itll All Work Out
She wore faded jeans and soft black leather
She had eyes so blue they looked like weather
When she needed me I wasnt around
Thats the way it goe s, itll all work out
There were times apart, there were times together
I was pledged to her for worse or better
When it mattered most I let her down
Thats the way it goes, itll all work out
Itll all work out eventually
Better off with him than here with me
Itll all work out eventually
Maybe better with him than here with me
Now the wind is high and the rain is heavy
And the waters rising in the levee
Still I think of her when the sun go es down
It never goes away, but it all works out
song performed by by Tom Petty
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Monkey Gone To Heaven
There was a guy
An under water guy who controlled the sea
Got killed by ten million pounds of sludge
From new york and new jersey
This monkeys gone to heaven
The creature in the sky
Got sucked in ahole
Now theres a hole in the sky
And the grounds not cold
And if the grounds not cold
Everything is gonna burn
Well all take turns
Ill get mine, too
This monkeys gone to haven
Rock me joe!
If man is 5 [3x]
Then the devil is 6 [5x]
Then God is 7 [3x]
This monkeys gone to heaven
song performed by by Pixies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bible, Franz Kafka And Mayan Popol Vuh
Drinking wine, because the
wine is for the spirit, eating
bread, because the bread
is for the flesh of the body,
needing to be alive, needing
to be able to use the words,
all the words belonging to
God in the moment that ''God
said, Let us make man in our
image, '' as Bible says.So,
The Lord gave us the words,
as a great gift.So, we are
drinking wine and we are
eating bread to be with Him,
because without Him, our words
may become silence. Moreover,
we may be unable to use them,
we may ''turn into monkeys'' as
Mayan Popol Vuh says. Who really
knows how many kinds of species
talked? Why did the serpent talk with
Eve? Did the serpent belong to a
talking specie? What Kafka really
wanted to say in his ''Metamorphosis''?
I understand that we can die all and
we can be created again by Him,
The Great Creator. The Darwin's theory
of evolution and Mayan theory of
involution may be false, but the
power of God is true. All I really know
is that we need to be good people
and really faithful to be existent.
poem by Marieta Maglas
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A Million To One
(m - kusch, l - deris / kusch)
Born into somewere unseen and unknown
Just like a worder so small and alone
Take me away into your innocent dreams
Maybe Id see what it all means
A million to one
You will lose it all
A million to one youll be falling
Down o where I am
An unholy man
A million to one youll be falling
Its so sad and so true
But what can I do
Owly a few years then its up to you
To care for yourself,
I hope I gave good advice
For all your life how to survive
A million to one
You will lose it all
A million to one youll be falling
Down o where I am
An unholy man
A million to one youll be falling
A million to one
You will lose it all
A million to one youll be falling
Down o where I am
An unholy man
A million to one youll be falling
song performed by by Helloween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Monkeys Must Know What's Good For Them
Monkeys do mind,
How a banana peels.
And how that's done,
To quicken the taste.
Why bananas do appeal,
And not coconuts?
I had not seen this spoken.
Or discussed in a fuss.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
Monkeys do mind,
How a banana peels.
And how that's done,
To quicken the taste.
Why bananas do appeal,
And not coconuts?
I had not seen this spoken.
Or discussed in a fuss.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
Stripping exotic trees,
Of fruit they leave.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we,
Unfortunately...
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And,
We...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we,
Unfortunately...
Are not monkeys.
Monkeys must know what's good for them.
But we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Happy Birthday to the Bard
Happy Birthday Mr Shakespeare
all power to your quill and ink
your works are still as powerful today
as when you were alive and in the Pink.
You gave us the lovers Romeo and Juliet
Hamlet, Macbeth, The Taming of the Shrew,
characters like Lysander, Claudius,
King Lear, and Henry the fifth part Two.
You wrote about murder and death,
treachery, war, and hideous lives,
but you also liked to make us laugh
with tales about all those merry wives.
You even had your own language and words
which is still giving your fans lots of pleasure
your plays are known all around the World
people just love The Tempest and Measure for Measure.
So happy Birthday to you William Shakespeare
even though I've found your work heavy and hard
but there's no doubt you were a literary genius
and that's why they call you our number one Bard.
poem by Kevin Halls
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Million Dollar Face
You were hungry for the lights,
You spent your nights with socialites
Youre a million-dollar baby
With the million dollar blues
And you only gave your time to people you could use
Million dollar face with million dollar grace
You got off to a real bad start
Million dollar face in million dollar lace
You wound with a two cent heart
You were mine for just a little while
But true to style and with a smile you said,
I have to leave you, baby, hold me one more time
cause I know where I should be and its a long hard climb
Million dollar face with million dollar grace
You got off to a real bad start
Million dollar face in million dollar lace
You wound with a two cent heart
Million dollar face with million dollar grace
You got off to a real bad start
Million dollar face in million dollar lace
You wound with a two cent heart
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm lucky enough to work with, I think, the greatest writer there's ever been, Shakespeare. Whose collected works would always be under my pillow if I was only ever allowed one book to keep, and who never bores me.
quote by Samuel West
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Smartest Monkeys
Well man created the cardboard box to sleep in it
And man converted the newspaper to a blanket
Well you have to admit that hes come a long way
Since swinging about in the trees
Were the smartest monkeys
The smartest monkeys
The evidence is all around
Our brains are bigger
This weve found
The smartest monkeys
Well man discovered the park bench can make a transition
And the rubbish tip makes a valid form of nutrition
With discoveries like these
Civilisation agrees
To give itself a pat on the back
Were the smartest monkeys
The evolutions plain to see
Were the dominant of the species
The smartest monkeys
We brought the caveman from the stoneage
To the subways of the modern world
How they pack so many in
Quick call the guinness book of records
Well you have to admit...
Were the smartest monkeys...
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The 3 Monkeys
Three little monkeys, they played about,
Doing all sorts of things, till their mother did shout;
If you don't stop this misbehaving, you'll go to bed,
All this playing up, is giving me a pain in my head.
Three little monkeys, would play hide and seek,
When they heard a secret, they'd be a sticky beak;
Sometimes they'd run away, till their mother called them back,
,
If you three keep playing up, you'll go to bed with a smack.
It reminds me of us children, when I was young growing up,
And mum told us to behave, we'd act like a naughty pup;
But! Most times I remember the great times we did play,
And when it was a holiday, we'd go somewhere to stay.
Yes! It wasn't all bad for those monkeys, those three,
And growing up, there were great times as well for me;
I thank my Mother, as I'm sure the monkeys do too,
Cause a mother can only take so much, oh yes! This is true.
poem by Margaret Haig
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Sperm
'What on Earth are you doing? '
I'm trying to get inside.
But I don't want to offend anyone.
'Just be direct.
You will be more effective.
You'll be fine.'
I was told that when I came,
To be dropped off.
'Stay firm, Sperm.
That's all I've got to say.
Eventually you will figure it out.
God works in mysterious ways.'
Tell me about it!
That's all I heard...
Before the screeching came to a halt.
And I was dropped off here!
I didn't ask for this.
To climax my existence.
Or know what or who...
I'll eventually meet.
When inside I'm there to greet.
'Like I said...
God works in mysterious ways! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Surrendering
Surrendering like an ape
The subjugated man is akin to monkeys.
Following in the steps of a god
The men are like cowards
For their grins are the same
And they wear falsehood with their brow.
These mammals surrender, and fight
For their survival, forming work
To accomplish and be proud about.
These apes and monkeys are solemn
Sometimes, innocent and happy,
And yet not one of them relieves another.
poem by Naveed Akram
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If You Need Advice
What is a goal?
How can we have something to which we do not even know the true definition?
Aspiration cannot be much without inspiraton
And inspiration cannot be done without another's persperation
What do we want to do and for whom do we want to do it?
Ourselves? Gays? Blacks? Women? Men? Children? God?
We want to be an inspiration
We want someone or something to look up to us and say:
'I want to be like you and make a true difference.'
It is not envy, nor jealousy, nor pity on another hand
It's work. Everything is work
There is fun work, dull work, but most importantly, hard work
Hard work is the house of our goal
Fun work is the decor
Dull work is the furniture
All is necesary to achieve complete happiness
Without decor, all we have is a house, not a home
Without furniture, we have nothing with which to have fun
Goals require more than just acquiring a plan
poem by Rebecca Roberts
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What Do Good Works Do?
What will a good life do for you, when your earthly life is through?
All the good you proudly say, you’ve done for men along the way.
Good deeds by men can be good; however it must be understood,
That our works won’t take the place, of The Lord’s amazing Grace.
Good works friend play no part, of God’s true conversion of a heart.
Your good works may be in vain, if you do not embrace The Name,
The only name in Heaven raised, by which all men must be saved.
Will all your good works of the past, well into eternity forever last?
Or will they be buried along side, your earthly body that also died?
Are you ignoring God’s Love, working your way to Heaven above?
Forgetting what God has done, by sending His only begotten Son.
We’re not saved by good deeds, but by God’s work upon Calvary,
His finished work on the cross, through Jesus saves all those lost.
For it is His Grace that saves us, when in Christ we place our trust.
Was the good work in your life, done for the glory of Jesus Christ?
Good works won’t move the Lord, if Christ His Only Son is ignored.
Do your works match the price, paid on the cross by Jesus Christ?
When you accept Jesus Christ, God’s works will flow from your life,
Works prepared for all who believe, that will continue on in eternity.
When your works are of The Lord, you will inherit an eternal reward,
Don’t you want to see your works, turned by God into eternal perks?
(Copyright ©06/2006)
I also administer the Internet Assigned Names Authority, which is the central coordinator for the Internet address space, domain names and Internet protocol conventions essential to the use and operation of the Internet.
quote by Jon Postel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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