A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
quote by Tommy Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Video Shop
The local factorys been pulled down
By an overseas corporation
Now all of my brothers are looking around
For alternative occupation
I was sitting by the telly with my brother, kenny
When suddenly the penny dropped
While all of my brothers are sitting at home
Ive got a bank loan and Ive opened up my very own
Video shop
Video shop
At the video shop
I can fly, fly you away
Comedy and tragedy are all sitting on my shelf
And if youve got a fantasy
For a small rental fee
You can set yourself free
At my video shop
At my video shop
At the video shop
I can fly, fly you away
At the video shop
Let me fly, fly you away
From all of the depression in you head
Caused by all the living in the red
Ive got a bootleg version of citizen kane
A second hand copy of psycho
Ive taped them off the telly so you shouldnt complain
And theres no guarantee youll get your money back again
From my video shop
My video shop
If you want to escape, I can rent you a tape
To relieve your situation
If you feel a bit low, I got a good peep show
cos everybody knows almost anything goes
At my video shop
At my video shop
One fifty a day and Ill fly, fly you away
Its nothing to pay to fly far, far away
I can help you through that lonely night
Ive got technicolour, black and white
I can guide you through those empty days
Make you smile and take your blues away
O let me fly you away
At my video shop
Fly, fly you away
Another factorys been knocked down
But nobody ever complains
And all of my brothers are customers now
We all play video games
I can see it in the eyes of all the lonely wives
If theyre bored and they feel like a change
I do sales, rentals, even a swop
And if you feel like a change, well it can all be arranged
At my video shop
At my video shop
At my video shop
At my video shop
Let me fly, fly you away
And everyone who walks in through that door
Has got something that theyre looking for
At my video shop
At my video shop
At the video shop
I can fly, fly you away
At the video shop
Let me fly, fly you away
Oh, at the video shop
Oh, at the video shop
Oh, at the video shop
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Toy Shop
It springs up into an object so prosperous,
The very lantern of my comfort;
The reason is the same, for every year,
A toy shop will improve one day later.
It worked on my head and heart,
Blind was the man who saw my shoulder
With his arms and hands,
The heart of his was very comfortable.
I have a toy shop because I have a toy,
Unimaginable toys are a decoration;
The hands of time shall mind me now,
The toys are like him, the blind man.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Shop, she shops!
Once she constantly smiled
Bought cloths and jewelry that gave her style
Shop, shop, shop
She shopped till she dropped
Shop, shop, shop
She just could not seem to stop
Her credit was on top
Her spending way rocket up
She paid with cash or credit card
This Lady was absolutely shopping mad
Shoping malls!
Markets stalls!
Shoes, clothing, and handbags she bought all year long
Spend, spend and spend daily was her beloved song
Shop, shop, shop
She now shops like a flop
Shop, shop, shop
This lady has now put a stop
Today is different shopping expedition
This time spending with supervision
No more that crazy spending addiction
Her credit card is cut
Her goods seized, the whole lot
Today she spends, her pockets hurt!
She has become street wise
Haggling with each price
She has become precise
About what she needs and not what is nice
Shop, shop, shop
She shops like a flop
Shop, shop, shop
Her spending has taken a big drop!
This lady has now put a stop to shop!
Copyright 2006 - Sylvia Chidi
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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The Knowledgeable One
They are not the brightest for to give them their due
And on his subject matter they did not have a clue
He seems a bit clever the older bloke said
To which his younger mate answered not right in the head.
Since he did seem a clever young person to me
With the older bloke's assumption I could only agree
And though I too not the brightest I was duly impressed
With one in his mid twenties who with knowledge is blessed.
The bloke in his thirties to the barmaid for another beer did call
With the knowledgeable one he did not seem impressed at all
And when the knowledgeable one had left the pub he turned to me to say
This bloke Socrates he was talking of who is he anyway?
His name is a name that I cannot recall
He cannot be famous he does not play football
I informed him the one of whom the clever one did speak
Is a long dead philosopher a legendary Greek.
He and his mate in his forties began to discuss Sunday's big game
Every player taking part they know them by name
Of football between them little they would not have known
Suppose like it is said of people to each their own.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Loving Fun
Old lady
Age - 65
Old man
Age - 80
Booth are
Begger's...
shop to shop...
Begein
On the road...
shop to shop
They are not
Husband and wife...
They are
Friends
To companian...!
But;
Booth are
Beger's
Enjoy the life
Loving fun...! !
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Observation
A tall bloke talks
A short bloke listens
And on his face
A question
A smudge
A blue tear
Below his eye
Tattooed
poem by Michael Oliver
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Running Blind
At a quick shop somewhere west of Albuquerque
Got a tank of gas, a cold drink and a beef jerky
The cashier she gave me a smile
So I stood there and I talked to her awhile.
She said, ''Where you headed, I hope I get there soon
I seen 'em all day long from 4 a.m. to noon
Some are runnin' from, some are running to
Some are runnin' blind, Lord which one are you?''
''Well'', I said, ''It don't 'pear to to me to be cut and dried
You don't know me from Adam, can it be so black and white.''
I said, ''I got a plan you see, I got it figured out.
How can you be so sure my dear, what I'm all about?''
She said, ''I've stood in this window for 27 years
I can tell you cash or credit, I can tell your brand of beer
I can tell you who's a liar and the truth is plain to see
That's you last $20 and don't ya lie to me.''
''There's a girl in Albuquerque cryin', ain't there
And you're standing in a quick shop lyin', ain't ya
Well?''
She handed back my $20, said, '' You know what to do
If you drive steady son, you'll be home this afternoon
And I hate to judge you, I don't mean to seem unkind
But there ain't no use in runnin' if you're only runnin' blind,''
''Ah, there ain't no use in running if you're only runnin' blind.''...
song performed by by Randy Travis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Down the Sweet Shop
The little corner shop
full of special treats
Chocolate, bottles of Pop,
and jars and jars of sweets.
With pocket money in hand
given to me by my Dad
sometimes a little bit extra
if he heard I'd been a good lad.
I really loved that little shop
it was every young boys dream
you could get everything you'd want
Football Cards, Toys, and Ice-Cream.
My dad used the shop as well
he'd pop in to buy his fags
and Mum did her weekly shop
she'd get me to help her with the bags.
Then along came the big supermarket
the little shop began to lose it's trade
so sadly it had to close it's doors
an end of an era again I'm afraid.
But I'll always remember the little shop
stood there at the bottom of our lane
yes it may have only been small
but it had more style than any supermarket chain!
poem by Kevin Halls
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The Bloke Wot Gits The Girls
'E passes by, each day, at ten
A bottle-shouldered yid
Wot looks as if 'e pushed a pen
An' drawes a weekly quid;
'E's always with some little lass;
(By cripes, 'e gets some pearls!)
We calls 'im, watchin' of 'em pass,
The bloke wot gits the girls.
An' strewth! it beats me outer sight
'Ow girls can stand 'im - straight!
'E don't go five-feet-two in height
Or eight-stun-two in weight;
'E couldn't swing a pick, - or scrap,
Soft 'ands an' sheeny curls!
'E's just a sorter - well, mishap,
The Bloke wot gits the girls.
But yet each day some bit o' fluff
Trips by, with this 'ere fraud,
A-breathin'-in 'is silly guff
As if 'e wos a gawd.
'E shoots 'is cuffs, 'e swings 'is canes,
'Is spiky mo 'e twirls,
'E seems to mesmerise the Janes,
The bloke wot gits the girls!
Well, tarts is tarts - it's 'ow they're built:
I s'pose their gawd is clo'es;
But 'im - the puffed-up piece o' gilt,
I'd like to punch 'is nose!
A-struttin', starin' round about
As if 'is kind was earls!
Cripes! 'Ow I'd like to pass 'im out
The bloke wot gits the girls!
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wangled by the Wayside
'Country blokes is kind,' he said,
And sat upon his swag
(I had no pipe tobacco,
So he said he'd 'risk a fag.')
'A country bloke's my sort o' bloke,
As I've had cause to find.
Them city coves is cold as mud:
But country blokes is kind.
'Now, f'rinstance, just you take yerself.
I meets you on the road,
A stranger, fur as I'm concerned
A cove I've never knowed.
An' when I sprags you for a smoke,
I'll bet you didn't mind.
You done your best; tho' fags is muck.
Country blokes is kind.
'Country hearts is rightly placed
A every battler knows.
If I'd have asked you for a feed,
Or p'raps some carst-off clo'es,
I'll wager you'd have searched your house
For all that you could find
In shape of tucker or of duds,
Yes; country blokes is kind.
'But city coves! - I ain't been there
For years - nigh on fifteen.
But lately I meandered down
Just for a change of scene
But rekernise a human bean?
They ain't that way inclined,
That crowd of stone-eyed strangers there.
Not like the conutry kind.
'To ask a bob for food or drink
In cities is a sin,
An' they goes an' calls a copper,
An' the copper turns you in.
But, if you pitch a likely tale,
Most like you don't git fined.
So I hoofs it back to country scenes
Where blokes is nice and kind.
'So here I am, back in the bush,
Still battlin' an' dead-broke.
An' the minnit I seen you I sez,
'Now, there's a country bloke,'
I sez. 'He's got that sort of face.'
I'm broke, but I'm not blind.
Stone-broke ... Well, I best push along ...
Thanks. Country blokes is kind.'
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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International
The youth and the imperialist tribune was also addressed by a young girl
From nicaragua whose hands had been cut off at the wrists by the former
Samosa guards.
Veronica merco, of the german federal republic, had this to say:
Aber ich habe eine ausbildung gemacht
Ak industrie kaufmann und... ? ?
Im a shop assistant at the... ? ?
And I must say Im a shop assistant by profession,
But it is difficult for.... ? ?
Now and then a little thing gets by.
Now and then well cry.
Like a fall in a war, like a mothers open arms.
Like a pawn in a game, hard to take.
There we sit on a line, wasting fortunes at a time, and pray.
All the time we are gone, theres no reason, theres no way.
Oh, the soul is the one so they say.
There we sit on a line, wasting fortunes at a time, and play.
She never thought hed be this way.
Her arms aloft, she holds.
But now its all a memory.
And its gone...
song performed by by Omd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fiduciary Friendship
'E 'ad spragged me before for the loan of a quid.
But I told 'im straight out I was broke.
Still 'e would 'ang around me, wotever I did.
'E's a regiler obstinit bloke.
'E'd tapped me for dollars an' bit me for bobs;
An' I ain't too finanshil meself.
Wot with times like they are an' not too many jobs;
So a bloke 'as to 'ang to 'is pelf.
But this Mister Theodore give me a lead
'E's a genius all on 'is own
'E put me wise yestidy - jist wot I need,
When a bloke comes along for a loan.
I rekin this Theodore's out on 'is pat
As a shrewd an' a far-seein' bloke,
Wot can 'and out the patter an' deal with a flat,
'Fore 'e's time to make up to the joke.
So today, when this cove puts the 'ard word on me,
I tells 'im straight out I'm 'is friend,
An' I'm goin' to 'elp 'im from sheer sympathy
With a few quid I'm goin' to lend.
It 'urts me, I tells 'im, to ark at 'im moan,
An' I 'aven't the 'eart to refuse.
So I gives the poor coot a fidoosary loan
In the shape of some nice I.0.U.'s.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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The Quality Of God
In torn dress a poor boy,
Was standing near a shop,
Greeding eyes of this boy,
Bare footed, seeking joy in the shop.
The shop was full of rich people,
There was selling garments and shoes,
Toys too, something in the shape of apple,
People were in fine dress and shoes.
Nobody paid heed at this boy,
And his eyes were tearful,
All were busy in buying toys,
But boy was standing thoughtful.
A lady came there who had bright eyes,
Accompanied the boy and entered the shop,
Bought for him garments, shoes and toys,
Buying all they left the shop.
Lady put her hand on his head,
'Go now' said with love,
Boy smiled and turned up his head,
' Are you God? ' asked with love.
She replied with smiling face,
'I'm His slave not God.'
Answered the boy with confidence,
'I knew that you must belong to God.'
poem by Mohammad Muzzammil
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The arrogant blind man picks a fight with his guide.
You Are Too Smart For Me
You are too smart for me
Lady
When you shop
Because when you shop you shop for the bargains
And
I can see that you love bargains
poem by Aldo Kraas
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Brice Lee (Short)
bullet got the wrong bloke.
life kid suck
drinkfromthebox
the juice kid suck
life kid
suck the box drink
yeah
life kid drinkfromthebox
the juice kid suck
life kid suck theboxdrink
yeah, bruce lee
life kid sinkfromthebox
seen from the box
the juice from the box
kid suck
life
kid yeah suckfromtheboxdrink
bruce lee
life kid suckfromthebox
drink from the box
the juice kid suck
life kid suckfromtheboxdrink
yeah, bruce lee
life kid sinkfromthebox
seen from a box
the juice from a box
kid suck
life
kid yeahsuckfromtheboxdrink
bruce lee
life kid suckfromthebox
drink from a box
the juice kid suck
life kid suckfromtheboxdrink
yeah, bruce lee
yeah,yeah,yeah
life kid suckfromthebox
drink from the box
the juice kid suck
life kid suckthebox
yeah, bruce lee
life kid drinkfromthebox
sinkfromthebox
straightfromthebox
the juice kid suck
life
kid sucktheboxdrink
yeah, bruce lee
tan blonde
life kid suckthebox...
(from the box)...
skin taught as sails in a gale, hair always cut with a blunt tool,
muscular but thin like springs for not steel...four thin old men, four
thin old men lay silent in two vaporizing rooms, each way up in his
own head...holed up in his flat, flaking boxers...little piggy, little
eyes...folds the skin just enough to let in light...bullet got the wrong
bloke, but they don't die anyway...it's nothing mortal if you don't
move...still have slopped up the war in a proper blanket...and i have
been this way for days
bruceleebruceleebruceleebrucelee...
...wrong bloke...
...force the gun...
...old man, come up to the bed...
...deliberate, and sturdy...
...holds the pistol to the chest of the wrong bloke...
...pulls the trigger...
...a turning shot...
...before your head...
...slaps you in the side of the face like a circus clown...
...wrong bloke...
...it's out of his eyes now...
...strains to get something in his head...
...has to see what is in the air...
...
life kid suckfromthebox
drink from the box
the juice kid suck
life
kid suckthebox
yeah, bruce lee
tan blonde
song performed by by Underworld
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pawn Shoppe Heart
I found my heart
In a pawn shop, baby
You took me for dead - dead
By the way - you still
I am way past tales
I'm bored and I'm crazy
You took all my good love
And gave it all away
I've been on the backstreet
I'm all alone
I've been on the hotseat
I'm gone - I'm gone
Sweet little love of mine
Take all you can
I'm your pawn shop lover
I'm your pawn shop, broken-heart man
With all your good looks
I still have nothing
Breaking the whip on my back like a man
Still have nothing
Take everything you want
Take all you can
I'm your pawn shop lover
I'm your pawn shop, broken-heart man
song performed by by Von Blondies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Just the other day, my assistant was on the line with Calvin Klein. Golly, I usually shop at Sears.
quote by Billy Bob Thornton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One blinds oneself.
Love is blind;
Faith is blind;
So is belief.
With these one walks,
And so is blind.
06.12.2011
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Running Blind
Cant find the answers
Ive been crawling on my knees
Looking for anything
To keep me from drowning
Promises have been turned to lies
Can't even be honest inside
Now Im running backward
Watching my life wave me goodbye
Running blind
Im running blind
Somebody help me see Im running blind
Searching for nothing
Wondering if I'll change
Im trying everything
But everything still stays the same
I thought if I showed you I could fly
Wouldn't need anyone by my side
Now I'm running backward
With broken wings I know Ill die
Running blind
Im running blind
Somebody help me see Im running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
I can't find the answers
I've been crawling on my knees
Looking for anything
To keep me from drowning
I'm running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
song performed by by Godsmack
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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