My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
quote by Jay London
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
I do recommend it for all girls, and boys, out there: put on a pair of fishnet stockings and find your inner sexiness!
quote by Nia Vardalos
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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No. Better research needed. Fire your research person. No fishnet stockings. Never. Not in this band.
quote by Gene Simmons
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bet Shes Not Your Girlfriend
(tennant/lowe)
---------------
(whisper whisper whisper whisper)
Whisper round the town,
cause youre my friend and thats the end
For youre the only one in town
Who they will beg to hang around with
Youre so beautiful and calm
But with an attitude that says:
Hands-off, youre just not good enough
Every boy and man feeling lonely
Cant understand why youd be with me
Furthermore, we laugh and we draw
More attention everyday, so they say:
(girlfriend) bet shes not your girlfriend, oh no,
(oh oh oh girlfriend) you better make her happy
(oh oh oh girlfriend) bet shes not your girlfriend, oh no,
(oh oh oh girlfriend) you better make her happy
Well, that says maybe, in a way, but its okay
We are touche, while they stare in front of us
They draw away, as if to say:
Who are these people anyway?
How dare they confront us?
Every boy and man feeling lonely
Cant understand why youd be with me
Furthermore, we laugh and we draw
More attention everyday, so they say:
(girlfriend) bet shes not your girlfriend, oh no,
(oh oh oh girlfriend) you better make her happy
(oh oh oh girlfriend) bet shes not your girlfriend, oh no,
(oh oh oh girlfriend) you better make her happy
Oh no no no
Oh no no no
(girlfriend oh oh oh girlfriend
Oh oh oh girlfriend oh oh oh girlfriend)
Id rather die, than satisfy their curiousity
Im kind of shy and dry, and verging on ugly
They wonder what that I have got, that they have not
Theyll never understand that none of that matters
Every boy and man feeling lonely
Cant understand why youd be with me
Furthermore, we laugh and we draw
More attention everyday, so they say:
(girlfriend) bet shes not your girlfriend, oh no,
(oh oh oh girlfriend) you better make her happy
(oh oh oh girlfriend) bet shes not your girlfriend, oh no,
(oh oh oh girlfriend) you better make her happy
(oh oh oh girlfriend oh oh oh girlfriend
Oh oh oh girlfriend)
Bet shes not your, bet shes not your,
Bet shes not your,bet shes not your,
(oh oh oh girlfriend)
Bet shes not your girlfriend, oh no
(oh oh oh girlfriend) bet shes not your girlfriend
(oh oh oh girlfriend) you better make her happy
(oh oh oh girlfriend) bet shes not your girlfriend
(oh oh oh girlfriend) you better make her happy
Bet shes not your girlfriend
song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Funk You
Girlfriend hey how you doing
The night is still young
but something is brewing
Girlfriend fancy a lager
Or would you prefer a pina colada
Girlfriend I don't wanna be your boyfriend
I don't need another best friend
All I wanna do is
All I wanna do is
Funk you
Girlfriend don't be upset now
I'm out on the pull
you're the first girl I've met now
Girlfriend don't be offended
No harm is done and no harm intended
Girlfriend I don't wanna be your boyfriend
I don't need another best friend
All I wanna do is
All I wanna do is
Funk you
Girlfriend don't be a dreamer
Your head is a mess but I ain't your cleaner
Girlfriend cut to the chase now
Look in my face is it back to my place now
Girlfriend I don't wanna be your boyfriend
I don't need another best friend
All I wanna do is
All I wanna do is
Funk you
Girlfriend I don't wanna be your boyfriend
I don't need another best friend
All I wanna do is
All I wanna do is
Funk you
song performed by by Right Said Fred
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I Was Your Girlfriend
(by Prince)
Look at the bargains over here, ladies... If I was your girlfriend
Would U remember
2 tell me all the things U forgot when I was your man?
When I was your man If I was your best friend
Would U let me take care of U
And do all the things that only a best friend can
Only best friends can If I was your girlfriend
If I was your girlfriend If I was your girlfriend
Would U let me dress U
I mean, help U pick out your clothes
Before we go out Not that you're helpless
But sometime, sometime
Those are the things that bein' in love's about If I was your one and only friend
Would U run 2 me if somebody hurt U
Even if that somebody was me? (Even if that somebody was me?) Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be
Please If I was your girlfriend
If I was your girlfriend Would U let me wash your hair
Could I make U breakfast sometime
Or then, could we just hang out, I mean
Could we go 2 a movie and cry together
Cuz 2 me baby that would be so fine (That would be so fine) (If I was your girlfriend)
Baby can I dress U
I mean, help U pick out your clothes
Before we go out
(If I was your girlfriend)
Listen girl, I ain't sayin you're helpless
But sometime, sometime
Those are the things that bein' in love's about (Sugar) Sugar do U know what I'm saying 2 U this evening? (Sugar)
Maybe U think I'm being a little self-centered (If I was your girlfriend)
But I, I said I want 2 be (Sugar)
All of the things U are 2 me (Sugar) (If I was your girlfriend)
Surely, surely U can see Is it really necessary 4 me 2 go out of the room
Just because U wanna undress? (If I was your girlfriend)
We don't have 2 make children 2 make love
And we don't have 2 make love 2 have an orgasm (If I was your girlfriend) Your body's what I'm all about (If I was your girlfriend)
Can I see it?
I'll show U (If I was your girlfriend)
Why not?
U can do it because I'm your friend
I'll do it 4 U
Of course I'll undress in front of U! (If I was your girlfriend)
And when I'm naked, what shall I do?
How can I make U see that it's cool? (If I was your girlfriend)
Can't U just trust me?
If I was your girlfriend U could (If I was your girlfriend)
Oh, yeah, I think so
Listen, 4 U naked I would dance a ballet (If I was your girlfriend)
Would that get U off?
Then tell me what will!
If I was your girlfriend, would U tell me? (If I was your girlfriend)
Would U let me see U naked then?
Would U let me give U a bath?
Would U let me tickle U so hard U'd laugh and laugh (If I was your girlfriend)
And would U, would U let me kiss U there (If I was your girlfriend)
You know down there where it counts (If I was your girlfriend)
I'll do it so good I swear I'll drink every ounce
And then I'll hold U tight and hold U long (If I was your girlfriend) And together we'll stare into silence
And we'll try 2 imagine what it looks like
Yeah, we'll try 2 imagine what, what silence looks like
Yeah, we'll try 2 imagine what silence looks like
Yeah, we'll try...
song performed by by Eels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You; |The|Only|Thing|That|Looks|Good|On|Me
Fishnet stockings
black corset
knee high converse
two lacey corset patterned arm socks
black stringy shawl
black and red dragon choker
a familiar pendulum
black and purple hair
black and purple makeup
eyebrow piercing
lip piercing
tongue piercing
prom outfit complete
the only thing missing
is you
poem by Dakota Ellerton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Christmas Stockings
Children far too young to realize
That some things in life you should prize
We had no jobs and no takings
Bare were the Christmas stockings
Scrounging colourful material
Lace, chintz and chiffon ethereal
Ribbons included in the making
A show for the Christmas stockings
Balls of red and green and scrap yarn
Imaginary faces darn'
On beautiful princess and kings
Displayed in the Christmas stockings
Plywood and some leftover paint
Canopy bed fit for a saint
Pea under mattress, her liking
Endured for the Christmas stockings
A penguin made of black felt
A hobgoblin with a scarlet belt
‘Gold' jewellery box, flaking
Accepted for the Christmas stockings
Coconut ice cut into stars
Liquorice plaited into bars
Brownies and tarts kept me baking
Produced for the Christmas stockings
My daughter was five that year
Son's smiles, laughter brought a tear
After all this time - despite mocking
Treasuring the Christmas stockings
Granddaughters, by the Grace of God
They look like two peas in a pod
Material gathered for the making
Of this year's two Christmas stockings
poem by Suzette Crous
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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X-Girlfriend
Whoa
Nooo
No no
X-girlfriend you can't have him
It's about time
That you found you a new man
He's moved on
Don't you know?
Don't you know?
You gotta let him go
Let him go
Let him go
X-girlfriend you don't listen
(X-girlfriend)
Stop trying
He's not gonna give in
He's not yours anymore
Don't you know?
You gotta let him go
Let him go
Let him go
Hey x-girlfriend
It's too bad when you had him
Y'all thing didn't work
But he's all mine now
So stop pursuing him
Before you get your feelings hurt
See our love is hot
And no
song performed by by Mariah Carey from Rainbow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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So if anybody wants to get me something, get me 60 crabs - one for each year. I don't want no diamonds, I don't want no shoes, I don't want no party. I want some crabs.
quote by Patti LaBelle
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
quote by Jay London
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She's Got A Girlfriend Now
she has a girlfriend now
she has a girlfriend now
she has a girlfriend now, she said
"guys don't do no more for me"
"you never loved me, like i wanted you to"
"i loved you baby, what do you want me to do?"
she said she found someone who's gonna hold her hand
she said she found someone who's gonna understand
she don't need nobody to be her man
she dont need nobody to be her man
i never thought it would end like this
just because i've got no tits
i'll shave my legs,
i'll wear a bra
i'll even cut my penis off for you...
she has a girlfriend now
song performed by by Reel Big Fish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ex-girlfriend
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them
And you know it makes me sick to be on that list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed
You say youre gonna burn before you mellow
I will be the one to burn you
Whyd you have to go and pick me?
When you that we were different, completely
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend
Im another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed
Your wildness scares me
So does your freedom
You say you cant stand the restrictions
I find myself trying to change you
If you were meant to be my lover I wouldnt have to
And I feel so mean, I feel in between
cause Im about to give you away
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend (for someone else to take)
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend (am I making a mistake? )
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them (all the time that we
Spent) I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girl, friend
Im another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed
Im another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed
Im about to give you away for someone else to take
Im about to give you away for someone else to take
We keep repeating mistakes for souvenirs
And weve been in between the days for years
And I know that when I see you Im going to die
I know Im going to want you and you know why
Its going to kill me to see you with the next girl
cause Im the most gorgeously jealous kind of ex-girl
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them
I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girl friend
Im another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed
Im another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed
song performed by by Gwen Stefani
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Girlfriends Girlfriend
(j.spinks)
She was my girlfriends girlfriend (yeah)
I woke up in someones bed
I couldnt remember what happened last night
I heard a voice then someone said
Roll over baby dont be wasting my time
La la la la la la la la
I prayed for someone Id recognize
La la la la la la la la
I didnt know that I was in for one great big surprise
She was my girlfriends girlfriend yeah
She was my girlfriends girl
I turned around unsure
She looked so good you could have picked me off the floor
This is cool this is it
I feel so bad I cant remember what we did
La la la la la la la la
She said boy youd better open your eyes?
La la la la la la la la
In walked my girlfriend she jumped on the other side
She was my girlfriends girlfriend yeah
She was my girlfriends girl
La la la la la la la la
She said boy youd better open your eyes
La la la la la la la la
In walked my girlfriend she jumped on the other side
She was my girlfriends girlfriend yeah
She was my girlfriends girl
She was my girlfriends girlfriend yeah
She was my girlfriends girl
(repeat chorus)
song performed by by Outfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Dont Understand My Girlfriend
(toby keith/jim femina)
I thought it would be dandy
If I bought that girl some candy
How was I suppose to know she was allergic to chocolate
I thought it would be fine
If we shared a glass of wine
She said, oh no, not another alcoholic
I dont understand my girlfriend
I havent got a clue
I dont know where shes coming from
Or where shes going to
But if opposites attract
Then I found the perfect woman jack
I dont understand my girlfriend
She dont understand me, too
Yeah I thought Id show some class
And order pheasant under glass
Hey how was I suppose to know she was an avid bird watcher
I dont understand my girlfriend
I havent got a clue
I dont know where shes coming from
Or where shes going to
But if opposites attract
Then I found the perfect woman jack
I dont understand my girlfriend
She dont understand me too
No she dont understand me too
No she dont understand me too
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Superstitious
by Michael Nesmith
She owns and operates her own sunshine factory,
Of painting smiles on dolls and then on me,
She's my sunny girlfriend and personality.
Well, she's got a book that tells about everybody's past,
And she can make it slow while making your mind move fast,
She's my sunny girlfriend and she is never last.
Oh, while I am sleeping,
Then she comes creeping
Into my thoughts at night,
Gazing down through eyes as bright as wonder.
She can send you on your way to everywhere,
She's only started after you think that she is there,
Oh, she's my sunny girlfriend, and she just doesn't care,
Yeah, she's my sunny girlfriend, she doesn't really care.
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She Has A Girlfirend Now
She has a girlfriend now
She has a girlfriend now
She has a girlfriend now, she said
Guys dont do no more for me
You never loved me, like I wanted you to
I loved you baby, what do you want me to do?
She said she found someone whos gonna hold her hand
She said she found someone whos gonna understand
She dont need nobody to be her man
She dont need nobody to be her man
I never thought it would end like this
Just because Ive got no tits
Ill shave my legs, Ill wear a bra
Ill even cut my penis off for you...
She has a girlfriend now.
song performed by by Reel Big Fish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Santo Domingo Saturday Night
So this is Santo Domingo Saturday Night
A taxi driver talking about whores
A girlfriend without a car
A girlfriend with a husband
A girlfriend that tells you
'The problem with the threesome
you don't want one on one no more'
A mutilated man by fire watching over a car you don't own
In the sky some lights
fireworks for someone's birthday
And in my mind
a waterfall where two goldfish swim
I will
find a city
findmyselfacitytolivein
poem by Juan dicent
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Fool For Your Stockings
Is it you again outside,
Just banging on the front door?
You say you had enough,
Now you're coming' back for more,
But that's alright.
I said that that's alright.
I may not want to admit it,
I'm just a fool for your stockings i believe.
Now i don't mind when you send money
And bring your girlfriends with you,
But how could one be so thoughtless to try
And handle less than two?
But that's alright.
I said that that's alright, baby.
I may not want to admit it,
I'm just a fool for your stockings i believe.
Now i'm tellin' everybody
It seems too good to be true:
Sweet things can always get sweeter.
I know mine did, how about you?
Yes, it's alright.
I said, yes it is, that's alright.
I may not want to admit it,
I'm just a fool for your stockings i believe.
song performed by by ZZ Top
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
quote by Gilbert K. Chesterton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Last Time I Saw Richard
The last time I saw richard was detroit in 68,
And he told me all romantics meet the same fate someday
Cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark cafe
You laugh, he said you think youre immune, go look at your eyes
Theyre full of moon
You like roses and kisses and pretty men to tell you
All those pretty lies, pretty lies
When you gonna realise theyre only pretty lies
Only pretty lies, just pretty lies
He put a quarter in the wurlitzer, and he pushed
Three buttons and the thing began to whirr
And a bar maid came by in fishnet stockings and a bow tie
And she said drink up now its gettin on time to close.
Richard, you havent really changed, I said
Its just that now youre romanticizing some pain thats in your head
You got tombs in your eyes, but the songs
You punched are dreaming
Listen, they sing of love so sweet, love so sweet
When you gonna get yourself back on your feet?
Oh and love can be so sweet, love so sweet
Richard got married to a figure skater
And he bought her a dishwasher and a coffee percolator
And he drinks at home now most nights with the tv on
And all the house lights left up bright
Im gonna blow this damn candle out
I dont want nobody comin over to my table
I got nothing to talk to anybody about
All good dreamers pass this way some day
Hidin behind bottles in dark cafes
Dark cafes
Only a dark cocoon before I get my gorgeous wings
And fly away
Only a phase, these dark cafe days
song performed by by Joni Mitchell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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