As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun.
quote by Tiger Woods
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
041310e Sometimes It Could Happened
there's this group of trees by golf course
it collects lost flyballs; home for geese
nobody wants to crass stagnant water
so their balls is stranded there forever
sometimes i go there to pick good ones
some i keep, some i hit it back to them
one day there's an old man playing
he politely ask me if i could find his
lost balls, so i ask what is brand name
he said, ' it could be anything, my son'
i reach into my pocket and throw some
he said, ' thanks, i lost all my balls today'
poem by Manonton Dalan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Extraordinary
You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me
Yeah, I'd drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To you, to make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?
So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My doctor asked me how many golf balls I had hit in my career. I'm lying there in bed calculating somewhere between four and five million golf balls I had hit to do that on my body.
quote by Greg Norman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Psycho Therapy
Psycho Therapy
Psycho Therapy
Psycho Therapy
That's what they wanna give me
Psycho Therapy
Psycho Therapy
Psycho Therapy
All they wanna give me
I am a teenage schizoid
The one your parent despise
Psycho Therapy
Now I got glowing eyes
I am a teenage schizoid
Pranks and muggings are fun
Psycho Therapy
Gonna kill someone
Psycho Therapy
Psycho Therapy
I like takin' Tuinal
It keeps me edgy and mean
I am a teenage schizoid
I am a teenage dope fiend
I am a kid in the nut house
I am a kid in the psycho zone
Psycho Therapy
I'm gonna burglarize your home
Psycho Therapy
Psycho Therapy
song performed by by Ramones from Subterranean Jungle
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Licking Balls in Velvet Fingers of Grass
Oh verdancy! Dear verdancy!
Oh vast expanse of space!
You want Zen?
Where've you been?
This is the time, the place!
Bring your picnic basket
and hard-boiled eggs aplenty
Swing your arms up toward
the clouds
Oh there are so many!
~~~
Now, I've had Women
'Kick' my balls
And make my lil nub quiver.
But, I've had Men
'Lick' my balls
And make the back net shiver.
Actually...
When I lose my balls
I feel rather free
I live on a rubber mat:
I'm a drivin' range
Golf ball
T
poem by Jeffrey Philip Clegg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Hang Down Your Head Kelly Tilghman
This time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be
Down in some lonesome valley
Hangin' from a white oak tree (The Kingston Trio)
Kelly thought she was being cute,
Kelly thought she had made a funny,
Golf Central would not fire her,
As she is a woman,
Not being Rush, Imus, Jimmy the Greek Snyder,
They were men.
She is of course blonde, so is Caitlin Upton,
Maybe that explains the fact,
Golf Central would not fire her.
She stated that the only way the upcoming golfer would defeat Tiger Woods,
If they would beat him up, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan,
Further more they should 'lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.'
If the KKK would have been paying her I would understand,
But if, not she could have been playing bedroom course,
She could have been playing on the course where there is easy “lay” on the turf,
She was a caddy to Arnold Palmer,
She could have kissed his balls while he ventured out the first ho’,
That would make his putter stand up.
Golf Central still would not fire her.
(1-13-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
043010b Beautiful Patch Of Land
grounds keeper cut grass today
birds were busy chasing insects
displaced from communal grass
vegetarians busy themselves
looking for seeds that has fallen
newly cut grass is refreshing
it's really wide you can put
a nine holes golf course on it
it's a sanctuary for geese, ducks
they also planted lots of trees
it's a jogging area; relaxing place
me, i practice chipping golf balls
poem by Manonton Dalan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
God Gave Rock & Roll To You II
PSYCHO CIRCUS
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Hello
Here I am!
Here we are,we are one
I've been waiting for this night to come
Get up!
Now it's time for me to take my place
The make-up runnin' down my face
We're exiled from the human race.
You're in the psy
You're in the psycho circus
You're in the psy
You're in the psycho circus
I say welcome to the show.
I've been waiting here to be your guide
So come
Reveal the secrets that you keep inside
Step up!
No one leaves 'til the night is done
The amplifier starts to hum
The carnival has just begun.
You're in the psy
You're in the psycho circus
You're in the psy
You're in the psycho circus
Yeah I say welcome to the show
Welcome to the show
Welcome to the show
The show.
I've been waiting here to be your guide
Some come
Reveal the secrets that you keep inside
Step up!
No one leaves 'til the night is done
The amplifier starts to hum
The carinval has just begun.
You're in the psy
You're in the psycho circus
You're in the psy
You're in the psycho circus
You're in the psy
You're in the psycho circus
You're in the psy
You're in the psycho circus
And I say welcome to the show
Welcome to the show
Welcome to the show
And I say welcome to the show.
song performed by by Kiss
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I do all kinds of roles - nerd, psycho, nerd, psycho, nerd, psycho - and occasionally someone kind of normal. It's weird, when I lived in Austin I was always cast as pretty normal people. But when I moved to Los Angeles I was immediately branded a psycho.
quote by John Hawkes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Solidify
Pouring in and around the great wellspring
Of simple feeling
And I need bearings in the face of your
Cool cool fire
Walking backwards with the pounding of your voice
Makes my soul tired
And concrete is
As concrete doesn't
And voices can drown
Why should I [4 times]
Solidify
Make me real
So you can see me
I guess you thought
I'd hide the sun from my liquid thoughts and
Make ice for you
You thought I'd seed my clouds
With the rain of your personal dreams
I guess you thought I'd throw confetti
At your parade of lofty thoughts
I guess you thought I'd shine good morning
In some good morning Jack
Surprise
Why should I [4 times]
Solidify
Make me real
So you can see me
song performed by by Sheryl Crow from Tuesday Night Music Club
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Two Balls One Clock
1 Football game playing on Fox,
Has 1 quarter back with 2 balls, one clock
Against 22 balls running after
1 football running with a cock.
Can the team with the most gowl,
Take the 1 ball and win them all?
I don’t know,
But what a show
In the stadium at Chicago
70,000 nuts and all of them dicks,
Paid to freeze as popsicle sticks.
Half the audience is men with only 2 balls,
Saying can we make it to the Super Bowl?
Looks like I guess not,
Because all our balls shriveled up,
Green Bay really one us by a long shot!
By Christina Sunrise on Jan.23,2011
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Got You By The Balls
Hey mister businessman
Head of the company
Are you looking for a lady
One who likes to please?
Hey mister businessman
This one likes to tease
With a special service
In french quantities
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
And shes calling all the shots
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Hey mister businessman
High society
She can play the school girl
And spank you all you please
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
She dont go overtime
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
(kiss your balls goodbye)
Hang it left, hang it right,
Got you by the balls
Got your shorts, got your curlies
Got you - by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Yeah, yeah
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Psycho Killer
I cant seem to face up to the facts
Im tense and nervous and i
Cant relax
I cant sleep cause my beds on fire
Dont touch me Im a real live wire
Psycho killer
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho killer
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
You start a conversation you cant even finish it.
Youre talkin a lot, but youre not sayin anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?
Psycho killer,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho killer
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
(* spoken interlude in french *)
Psycho killer,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho killer,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh....
song performed by by Talking Heads
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Psycho Circus
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Hello
Here I am!
Here we are,we are one
Ive been waiting for this night to come
Get up!
Now its time for me to take my place
The make-up runnin down my face
Were exiled from the human race.
Youre in the psy
Youre in the psycho circus
Youre in the psy
Youre in the psycho circus
I say welcome to the show.
Ive been waiting here to be your guide
So come
Reveal the secrets that you keep inside
Step up!
No one leaves til the night is done
The amplifier starts to hum
The carnival has just begun.
Youre in the psy
Youre in the psycho circus
Youre in the psy
Youre in the psycho circus
Yeah I say welcome to the show
Welcome to the show
Welcome to the show
The show.
I, Ive been waiting here to be your guide
Some come
Reveal the secrets that you keep inside
Step up!
No one leaves til the night is done
The amplifier starts to hum
The carinval has just begun.
Youre in the psy
Youre in the psycho circus
Youre in the psy
Youre in the psycho circus
Youre in the psy
Youre in the psycho circus
Youre in the psy
Youre in the psycho circus
And I say welcome to the show
Welcome to the show
Welcome to the show
And I say welcome to the show
song performed by by Kiss
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Big Balls
Im ever upper class high society
Gods gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say Ive got
The biggest balls of all
Chorus:
Ive got big balls
Ive got big balls
And theyre such big balls
Dirty big balls
And hes got big balls
And shes got big balls
But weve got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says Ive got
Great balls of fire
Chorus
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when theyre held for pleasure
Theyre the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
Its my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Chorus
And Im just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Game of Golf
Golf is my brothers passion, my sister-in laws as well
From where l'm standing Oh! my word it looks like a game from hell
Legs astride back is bent and the arms down all stretched out
Now it's time to hit the ball and give it one good clout
Then they do the walking and try to find the ball
If it's in the right spot then their walking tall
Will they reach the 18th hole without getting in the rough
Will it pour with rain until, they say we've had enough
Will one beat the other, will it end in tears
But then l guess if it gets that bad, they'll down a good few beers
Is it really worth though bending, stretching, hitting
No l'm sorry not for me, l'd rather just be sitting
I guess they'll go on playing, well the fresh air does them good
l'm not so sure about the rest of it, l do not think l could
Walk around in the rain, hitting putting sighing
Little white balls in the air, god, they go a flying
Through the air down the green and in a tiny hole
Only to take it out again, is this really reaching a goal
You'll find them every weekend playing on the green
Wearing funny clothes and shoes, like you never seen
They'll push on round the golf course, until they reach the end
In and out of all them holes, they're clearly round the bend.
poem by Dianne Anderson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Your Masters Are Paid Millions
Masters of small spinning balls
golf balls tennis balls baseballs
basket balls foot balls
are worth millions
should be paid millions
each year for services
services to society
services to local global community
but police nurses teachers
should be paid menial wages
such are not main players
players of great glory games
what is their service
service to the community worth
is it really worth so little
let me entertain you
while you watch watch watch
watch a poor police person take a bribe
watch a poor nurse sell some work drugs
watch a teacher change careers
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Poem
When the days go by, I see birds fly
In the trees where apples go so fast and fall down to the ground
Where worms crawl and ants mound
Into the dirt and dragons fly into the sky
With fire breath and wings made of ice like a phoenix made of fire with a strong desire
To burn down the trees and chew gum to make bubbles to catch ladybugs that fall free,
Away from the clouds and stars in the daylight turning to night
Now with the dogs and cats quarreling with squirrels while baseball bats
Are throwing golf balls at cars going by on the dirt road in Kansas, Georgia, and Nebraska are three states with the letter A in them where elephants roam with the deer and horses galloping in the air waiting for someone to come home.
poem by Rebecca Ryan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!