As for those grapefruit and buttermilk diets, I'll take roast chicken and dumplings.
quote by Hattie McDaniel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Grapefruit Diet
Whos that waddlin down the street
Its just me cause I love to eat
Fudge and twinkies and deviled ham
Whos real flabby? yes, I am!
Every picture of mes
Gotta be an aerial view
Now my doctor tells me
Theres just one thing left to do
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Might seem a little sever
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Im gettin tired of my big fat rear
Blow, fatty!
Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like kate moss
Walked down an alley and I got stuck
I got more rolls than a pastry truck
When Im all done eating
I eat a little more
When I leave a room
First I gotta grease the door
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Cant have another eclair
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
I gotta decrease my derriere
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
No more pie now
No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. cheese nacho
Stay away
Oh I think Id sell my soul
For a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang
When I put on my belt
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Lay off the 3 musketeers
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Eat em till theyre comin out of my ears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
cause I havent seen my feet in years
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
I think Im about ready for a quarter pounder with extra cheese
I need a side order of onion rings
And dont forget to super-size that
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I can still memory - taste the fresh buttermilk pancakes and hot buttermilk biscuits - both made with lard! - that were cooked on the top, or in the oven, of that ancient iron stove.
quote by Vernon L. Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you are going to have a roast, a chicken is better than a phoenix.
They sent me to these places to get the weight off. The diets never worked; the diets actually made it worse.
quote by Lisa Whelchel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Pan Of Sorrows
I will give you the grain of tears,
Roast my sorrows in your pan,
O, tender of the fire.
Tender of the fire, branch of magnolia,
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
I am late already,
The shadows are fading,
The cattle have returned,
From the forest.
The birds have raised their clamor.
Roast my sorrows in your pan,
Tender of the fire.
Hurry, be quick,
I have far to go,
To the place
Where my companions have gone.
I have heard the road to that town is difficult
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
Tender of the fire.
When my turn comes,
Your bale of kindling is damp.
Why has your earthen pan
Become flaccid?
What has gone wrong with your fire?
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
Tender of the fire.
Mine is just a handful of grains,
Roast them, and let me go on my way,
Don't leave them raw,
Roast them well.
I beg you, bring an end to this wrangling,
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
Tender of the fire.
The wind has dropped,
Its mournful weeping ended.
A sweet heat
Is rising in the stars.
My breaths are like a marriage procession
Whose bridegroom is displeased.
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
O tender of the fire.
Tender of the fire, branch of magnolia,
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
poem by Shiv Kumar Batalvi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Crow Black Chicken
(laurence wilson)
Well, I went on the mountain
And I gave my horn a blow
Thought I heard some purty gal say
Yonder come my beau
Crow black chicken and crow for a day
Crow black chicken and fly away
Crow black chicken and-a ...
I like chicken pie
Well, the hardest work that ever I done
Is plowin a field of rye
The easiest work that ever I done
Was eatin chicken pie
Chicken crow for midnight
And chicken crow for a day
Along come an owl, lord, have mercy
And stole my chicken away
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shoo Fly!
Shoo fly!
This aint buttermilk.
You seek the end result.
To pick from what has been processed.
Making a taste easier for you to reproduce and lift.
Shoo fly!
This aint buttermilk.
This chocolate whip has nuts!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The brown bag, of course, had its imperfections. While some kids carried roast beef sandwiches, others had peanut butter. I have no way of knowing if all of those brown bags contained 'nutritionally adequate diets.' But I do know that those brown bags and those lunch pails symbolized parental love and responsibility.
quote by Charles Mathias, Jr.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ode to Chickens
An Ode to Chickens
Oh chicken, oh chicken,
With orange little feet,
All white and fluffy,
So good to eat,
Oh chicken, oh chicken,
I will get you so fat,
Then I will kill you,
And eat you at last
poem by Trevor Cummins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ode To Orange Chgicken
Orange chicken, oh orange chicken,
how much I love you.
You're sweet, sticky, and tangy, all at the same time,
you go great wi th soy sauce, but never with lime.
ode to orange chicken, which I love to devour,
it's been in my mouth so often, it knows that i have power.
It knows the names of my taste buds, Jill, Lil, and Bill,
sometimes the orange chicken is happy, but sometimes it's held against it's will.
Whenever I eat orange chicken, it goes CRUNCH, CRUNCH,
and I have to have chow mein, and that goes MUCH, MUNCH!
Ode to orange chicken, it is always in a bowl,
but did I mention, i also love eggrolls.
poem by Aubrey Harmel
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Chicken Hearted
(bill justis)
My girlfriend slipped and fell
Now she's hanging from a cliff
I can't come to her rescue
But these flowers i must sniff
You see i'd really like to save her
But i aint got the nerve
I'm chicken hearted
I'm chicken hearted
I'm tryin' to kiss my girl
And it makes me want to faint
I'm scared of my own shadow
And afraid of what i ain't
I've no inspiration
I'm kinda yellow...
I'm chicken hearted,
I'm chicken hearted
Mama's in the workshop
Daddy's in the jail
I seem to be afraid
To go to work and make their bail
I guess my folks will have to stay there
Cos i'm just like a snail
I'm chicken hearted,
I'm chicken hearted
song performed by by Roy Orbison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Paradise Gained
Albert and Hulda lived in style,
they walked each Saturday a mile,
ate vegetables, fruits and bread
but then, they ended up quite dead.
Up to the Pearly gates they flew
St. Peter and his trusted crew
asked questions of the lovely pair
and took them into God's own care,
he showed them to their home in Heaven,
'twas on cloud nine, number eleven.
There were such riches in that house,
so Albert said, my dearest spouse
I can just see how they would give
such luxuries to those who live,
but to the dead, it bogs the mind
I did not know God would be kind.
Upstairs the had a spa and golden taps
outside the pool for morning laps,
a golf course just around the bend
where would this lavish lifestyle end?
St. Peter said, it's all for free
as this is Heaven, take this key
and open to your heart's content
all morsels, sweet and succulent.
But, asked sweet Hulda, if you please
we need be careful of disease,
low fat and buttermilk and soy
cholesterol, the horse of Troy!
No worries, Peter said, you may
eat what you fancy, and you pay
no fees and not with failing health,
as this is Heaven, take the wealth
and do enjoy what you've been given
I know you like the man named Niven,
he is your neighbour, David, yes,
I'll leave you now, and God will bless
the two of you for evermore
Good luck in Golf, I hope your score
will please you as it will the host,
and do come by, we'll have a roast
down near the Northern Star, at two
welcome again, the two of you!
Albert turned to his spouse right then
and said: It's typical of men
you baked those muffins, bran and oats,
took measures, tests and kept your notes.
Had we, the two of us not slaved
and watched our diets, had we braved
our tastes and cravings, it is clear
we could have been in this place here,
in eighty five, if we just had
been less religious and more bad.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Tender Buttons [Chicken]
CHICKEN.
Pheasant and chicken, chicken is a peculiar third.
CHICKEN.
Alas a dirty word, alas a dirty third alas a dirty third, alas a dirty bird.
CHICKEN.
Alas a doubt in case of more go to say what it is cress. What is it. Mean. Why. Potato. Loaves.
CHICKEN.
Stick stick call then, stick stick sticking, sticking with a chicken. Sticking in a extra succession, sticking in.
poem by Gertrude Stein
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road
The chicken was undecided on whether to cross the road,
she was a short sighted chicken
who, not being able to see across the road
couldn't quite understand the advantages
of being on the other side.
People passing by the chicken
stopped to ask if she wanted to get across the road
but the chicken just clucked, indecisively,
looking very concerned as to her own
demise if she should attempt to.
After all, should she transverse the road
and avoid oncoming vehicles
she would then be stuck on the other side
but should she not, then she may well
feel unfulfilled, unaccomplished.
Not wanting to disappoint,
let down, or cause a disturbance
the chicken did a little shake,
a little flutter and hop, skipped
and jumped across the road.
A local lorry came hurtling towards her,
she saw the headlights, heard the horn
but too late! There were chicken bits
all over the place while a local
reporter took notes, writing:
We'll never know why the chicken
tried to cross that road in heavy traffic
but she was pronounced dead
on arrival at the local hospital.
They'll be no live chicken tonight.
poem by Ruth Walters
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Chicken Pot Pie
When we were young, bernies deli was down the block
(ooh ooh ooh ooh)
He made a great liver pate
(you know he did, you know he did, you know he did)
But if theres one thing in this world that I like better
Than a corned beef on rye
Its chicken pot pie
Chicken pot pie
(chorus of chicken-cluck imitations)
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Cook
They had a cook with them who stood alone
For boiling chicken with a marrow-bone,
Sharp flavouring powder and a spice for savour.
He could distinguish London ale by flavour,
And he could roast and boil and seethe and fry,
Make good thick soup and bake a tasty pie...
As for blancmange, he made it with the best.
poem by Geoffrey Chaucer
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Seen Trickin
Seen trickin'.
There is no secret..
Trickin' people are seen.
Because of the economy,
People feel that trickin'...
Is what they today must do,
To pull themselves through.
With a new definition of desperation...
Deliberate even though it demeans.
Every dime they had save for that rainy day,
Seem to have been raided...
By those masquerading,
To say they represent the coming of better days.
Trickin'.
Some just to eat.
They keep on trickin'...
With a losing battle to protect their dignities.
And no longer lost to find a reason in their minds...
How what they do others may define.
They know they no longer lick that finger lickin' chicken.
Nor dip in catsup those french fries yummy good...
To fatten rubbing thighs and lieing about those diets tried.
No longer are these tricks fixin'...
That roast that sits cooling in the kitchen.
Or that oven baked cake,
Grandma used to make.
These folks are trickin'.
Males, females, shemales and 'its'.
Trickin'...
And hustling up profits made to their benefit.
Attempting to keep that lifestyle from a slip to a slide,
Quicker than it is.
Folks don't care about who sees them trick.
Folks care more about keeping up their habits!
Seen trickin'.
There is no secret..
Trickin' people are seen.
Because of the economy,
People feel that trickin'...
Is what they today must do,
To pull themselves through.
With a new definition of desperation...
Deliberate even though it demeans.
Seen trickin' although it sickens them!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Total Breakdown
Total breakdown.
In respect.
Total breakdown.
In discipline one should get.
Total breakdown.
Of relationships.
Keeping one happy and safe...
Would be a miracle to escape,
Any cracks appearing in it.
Total breakdown.
Of societies!
Without outside interference,
To proclaim how they should or should not be.
Total breakdown.
Witnessed in mentalities.
And bad diets can be the reason.
Bad diets can account for most of these.
Total breakdown.
Complete.
With few left to mend,
The inefficiencies.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mamma's Baked Chicken And Rice
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW SPECIAL AND NICE
I FELT ABOUT MAMMA'S CHICKEN AND RICE
BUT FOR ME AT THE TIME IT WAS BEYOND PRICE
EVERY DAY MAMMA'S CHICKEN AND RICE
WHEN I WAS SICK AND NEEDED YOUR CARE
WITHOUT GATTING A LASH CHICKEN AND RICE WAS THERE
THE DOCTORS TOLD YOU BLAND, AND THAT WAS FINE BY ME
CHICKEN AND RICE MADE BLAND SPECIAL FOR ALL TO SEE
AT FIRST AFTER DAY'S OF HAVING THIS SERVED TO ME
I WAS PISSED AS HELL TILL I HAD A TALK WITH MY BUDDY
EVERY DAY HE'D COME OVER TO GET ME TO PLAY
AND HE'D SEE ME FINISHING MY CHICKEN AND RICE EVERY DAY
HE SAID THAT YOUR MOMMA MUST REALLY LOVE YOU
SHE MAKES THAT EVERY DAY, AND ON THE WEEK ENDS TO
SHE GOES IT SO QUICKLY AND IT SMELLS SO GOOD
YOUR MOMMA MUST REALLY LOVE, I WISH MY MOMMY WOULD
I LOOKED AT MY BUDDY AND SAW IN HIS FACE
THE TRUTH AND THE HONESTY ALL PLAIN IN PLACE
AND FROM THAT DAY FORWARD I SMILED WHUEN I HEARD
MY MOM CALL MY NAME TO COME EAT THOSE THREE WORDS
CHICKEN AND RICE, CHICKEN AND RICE I SAY
MY MOM MADE THE BEST, IN HER OWN SPECIAL WAY
WHEN EVER I AM FEELING WSPECIALLY NICE
I WOULD ALWAYS FIND AN EXCUSE TO HAVE CHICKEN AND RICE
SO MOMMA, YOU NEEDED TO JUST HERE ME SAY
I APPRECIATE THE LOVE THAT YOU GIVE ME EVERY DAY
AND THOUGH IT MAY SEEM LIKE I AM BEING UNKIND
IF SO, I'M JUST BEING FOOLISH AND MANIPULATIVE THAT TIME
YOU ALWAYS COULD BRING OUT THE BABY IN ME
AND FOR THAT AND THE CARING THIS POEM YOU DID SEED
THANK YOU MOM, DEAR LADY FOR ALL OF THE ABOVE
AND THE CHICKEN AND RICE AND THESE MEMORIES OF LOVE
poem by Talile Ali
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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MAMMA'S BAKED CHICKEN AND RICE...by Talile Ali
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW SPECIAL AND NICE
I FELT ABOUT MAMMA'S CHICKEN AND RICE
BUT FOR ME AT THE TIME IT WAS BEYOND PRICE
EVERY DAY MAMMA'S CHICKEN AND RICE
WHEN I WAS SICK AND NEEDED YOUR CARE
WITHOUT GATTING A LASH CHICKEN AND RICE WAS THERE
THE DOCTORS TOLD YOU BLAND, AND THAT WAS FINE BY ME
CHICKEN AND RICE MADE BLAND SPECIAL FOR ALL TO SEE
AT FIRST AFTER DAY'S OF HAVING THIS SERVED TO ME
I WAS PISSED AS HELL TILL I HAD A TALK WITH MY BUDDY
EVERY DAY HE'D COME OVER TO GET ME TO PLAY
AND HE'D SEE ME FINISHING MY CHICKEN AND RICE EVERY DAY
HE SAID THAT YOUR MOMMA MUST REALLY LOVE YOU
SHE MAKES THAT EVERY DAY, AND ON THE WEEK ENDS TO
SHE GOES IT SO QUICKLY AND IT SMELLS SO GOOD
YOUR MOMMA MUST REALLY LOVE, I WISH MY MOMMY WOULD
I LOOKED AT MY BUDDY AND SAW IN HIS FACE
THE TRUTH AND THE HONESTY ALL PLAIN IN PLACE
AND FROM THAT DAY FORWARD I SMILED WHUEN I HEARD
MY MOM CALL MY NAME TO COME EAT THOSE THREE WORDS
CHICKEN AND RICE, CHICKEN AND RICE I SAY
MY MOM MADE THE BEST, IN HER OWN SPECIAL WAY
WHEN EVER I AM FEELING WSPECIALLY NICE
I WOULD ALWAYS FIND AN EXCUSE TO HAVE CHICKEN AND RICE
SO MOMMA, YOU NEEDED TO JUST HERE ME SAY
I APPRECIATE THE LOVE THAT YOU GIVE ME EVERY DAY
AND THOUGH IT MAY SEEM LIKE I AM BEING UNKIND
IF SO, I'M JUST BEING FOOLISH AND MANIPULATIVE THAT TIME
YOU ALWAYS COULD BRING OUT THE BABY IN ME
AND FOR THAT AND THE CARING THIS POEM YOU DID SEED
THANK YOU MOM, DEAR LADY FOR ALL OF THE ABOVE
AND THE CHICKEN AND RICE AND THESE MEMORIES OF LOVE
poem by Talile Ali
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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