I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
quote by Drew Carey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
quote by Wanda Sykes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
quote by George Mikes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
quote by Rainn Wilson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
quote by Emo Philips
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm this kinda girl...........
I’m this kinnda girl
Current mood: adored
I'm the girl who will put her head on your shoulder, not because she's sleepy, but because she wants to be closer to you...
I'm the girl who likes to be kissed under the stars, more than inside your bedroom or in a expensive resturant...
I'm the girl who holds your hand and plays with it....
I'm the girl who doesn't mind you playing with her hair....
I'm the girl who stares into your eyes looking for a reason what you see in me.......
I'm the girl who loves to end a hug with a kiss...
I'm the girl who will take care of you when you are sick...
I'm the girl who you can talk to you about anything...
I'm the girl who laughs at your jokes...
I'm the girl who will have many inside jokes with you and remember each one...
I'm the girl who will brag about you to all of my friends...
I'm the girl who will listen to you talk...
I'm the girl who remembers how and when we first met.......
I'm the girl who loves to hear you sing, even if you horrible....
I'm the girl who promises to never leave, and keeps it......
I'm the girl who loves when you hug me for no apparent reason...
I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me from behind or kiss me on the forehead....
I'm the girl who loves you for you; and doesn't care what other people say about us...
I'm the girl who will love you unconditionally for the rest of your life...
The Stamping Ground
The stamping ground,
The stamping ground.
All your old gang
Still hang around.
Coming in with the same blokes,
Going home with the same jokes,
If you ever go missing
I know where youll be found :
The stamping ground.
The big fella on the front door knows your face.
The barman pretends that hes saved you a place,
But when your back is turned
They say shes older than she tells.
I could stand the main attraction,
But not the clientelle.
The stamping ground,
The stamping ground.
All your old gang
Still hang around.
Coming in with the same blokes,
Going home with the same jokes,
If you ever go missing
I know where youll be found :
The stamping ground.
Everybody knows
Evrybodys trouble,
Who comes in alone,
Who leaves as a couple.
When they seen you coming, babe,
They act like theyre pleased to meet you.
Say its very nice to know you,
But I wouldnt want to be you.
The stamping ground,
The stamping ground.
All your old gang
Still hang around.
Going home with the same blokes,
Going home with the same jokes,
If you ever go missing
I know where youll be found :
The stamping ground.
You talk like you dont have a brain in your head.
You act like you dont have a care in your bed.
Th lights are on,
Theres no one home,
It scares you to death.
You stamp on anyone who stops to take a breath.
The stamping ground,
The stamping ground.
All your old gang
Still hang around.
Going home with the same blokes,
Going home with the same jokes,
If you ever go missing
I know where youll be found :
The stamping ground.
The stamping ground.
The stamping ground.
The stamping ground.
The stamping ground.
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.
quote by Kurt Vonnegut
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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3 Years
The first year was great
jokes and laughs
games and retardedness
That summer was even better
staying up late
texting all day
showers over the phone
what more can we ask for?
The second year was wow
not so many jokes
less laughs
i dont even know what happened to the games
or to the retardedness
i think a good question should be...
What happened to you?
The summer started off shakey
yea we talked
but there was a big white wall in between us
or better yet a girl
she liked you so much
and yea i guess you liked her too.
The middle of the summer started getting better
we had the jokes and laughs
but still no games or retardedness
we were still missing alot.
Towards the end of the summer
we had everything
man was i happy
We were best friends again
the jokes and the laughs were awesome
and the games and the retardedness was back!
The third year is starting now
its going good so far
we still have everything
but....
The first year was better
and that summer was the best!
poem by Adriana Ellis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Take Celebrity Out
I don’t care about your girlfriends
I don’t care about your affairs
I don’t care how many your wives
I don’t care you divorce with who
What I need is your entertainment
I don’t care about your castles and cars
I don’t care about your new styles
I don’t care if you famous everywhere
I don’t care you know many connection
What I need is your talent
I don’t care about your plastic surgery
I don’t care about your disturbing behavior
I don’t care you run from your rehabilitation
I don’t care you have a fight with who
What I need is your hard work
I don’t care about your orientation
I don’t care about your life philosophy
I don’t care you are a selfish and arrogant person
I don’t care you could move thousand people
What I need is your result
poem by Maria Sudibyo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Don't Care Anymore
Well you can tell ev'ryone I'm a down disgrace
So drag my name all over the place.
I don't care anymore. (I don't care)
You can tell ev'rybody 'bout the state I'm in
You won't catch me crying 'cos I just can't win.
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore
I don't care what you say
I don't play the same games you play.
'Cos I've been talking to the people that you call your friends
And it seems to me there's a means to and end.
They don't care anymore. (they don't care)
And as for me I can sit here and bide my time
I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind.
I don't care anymore I don't care no more
I don't care what you say
We never played by the same rules anyway.
I won't be there anymore
Get out of my way
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore
Well, I don't care now what you say (I don't care what you say)
'Cos ev'ry day (everyday)
I'm feeling fine with myself (I'm feeling fine with myself)
And I don't care now what you say (I don't care what you say)
Hey I'll do alright by myself (I'll be alright by myself)
I don't care (I don't care) anymore (anymore)
I don't care (I don't care) anymore (anymore)
I don't care (I don't care) anymore (anymore)
I don't care anymore
Do you care? Hell no!
Do you care? Hell no!
Do you care? Hell no!
What what?
Do you care? Hell no!
Do you care? Hell no!
Do you care? Hell no!
What what?
Do you care? Hell no!
Do you care? Hell no!
Do you care? Hell no!
What what?
Do you care? Hell no!
Do you care? Hell no!
Do you care? Hell no!
What what?
'Cos I remember all the times I tried so hard
And you laughed in my face 'cos ya held all the cards.
I don't care anymore.
And I really ain't bothered what you think of me
'Cos all I want of you is just a let me be.
I don't care anymore
Did you hear? I don't care no more
I don't care what you say
I never did believe you much anyway.
We won't be there any more
So get out of our way.
Let us by
We got better things to do with our time
We don't care anymore
We don't care anymore
We don't care anymore
We don't care anymore
We don't care
We don't care
We don't care (anymore)
We don't care
song performed by by Kelis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
quote by Rue McClanahan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes.
quote by James McAvoy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your Smile For Me
Your smile could change my mood.
And that time I used to feel so good.
And your smile could even make me smile.
Although I was crying I would laugh for a while.
Funny thing and jokes, which I used to tell.
You would laugh and my jokes never did fail.
I am sorry that I never laughed with you.
But still your smile means lot to me and it's true.
You didn't seem to be okay yesterday.
Your parents? ? tell me what did they say? ?
I told you joke and even made fun of myself.
I didn't hear you laughing; I know I am not deaf.
What I am making you angry? i just can't see you,
Unhappy do you even know how much I love you? ?
Are you there? ? why are you not replying? ?
Please reply, without you here I feel like dying.
If I am making you angry then fine I m going
I won't talk to you ever and I am not crying.
You told only I used to make you smile, care about
You while other made you angry and give you hated.
I m just sorry that I thought I was your everything.
Without me you would not be even breathing.
Sorry that I cared about you and tried to make you smile.
Let's see how would you live if I m gone for a while
poem by Sushanta Rokka
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Porterville
Its been an awful long time since I been home,
But you wont catch me goin back down there alone.
Things they said when I was young are quite enough to get me hung.
I dont care! I dont care!
They came and took my dad away to serve some time,
But it was me that paid the debt he left behind.
Folks said I was full of sin, because I was the next of kin.
I dont care! I dont care!
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo!
I dont care! I dont care!
Folks were out one night to put me up a fence,
And you can guess that Ive been runnin ever since.
Aint no one thats bout to help, and Ill keep on, I tell myself.
I dont care! I dont care!
I dont care! I dont care!
I dont care! I dont care!
Aint no one thats bout to help,
And Ill keep on, I tell myself.
I dont care! I dont care!
I dont care! I dont care!
I dont care! I dont care!
I dont care! I dont care!
I dont care! I dont care!
song performed by by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Elevation of Mood
My moods shall beg again, too far and away,
Their complication is advanced and to stay.
Certain jokes penetrate the mind if humourous,
When too humourous, the little jokes are marvellous.
Enter a menace to exit the stream, it delights,
For the hiding of our thoughts and our appetites.
Birthrights let minds envelop certain tasks,
To be afterwards rewarded like flasks.
These small containers contain beautiful milk
And to drink this leads to your ilk.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Something About Their Jokes Told
Why is it,
That those who once provoked...
Laughter and jokes,
On other folks...
Have become the ones,
Who today appear to fear?
Could it be,
Something they have done to someone...
Has managed to attract serious attention.
And faces of those once cracking with laughs,
Find something about their jokes told...
No longer thought to be as funny.
And today,
Those who they pass to exchange...
With others who gathered to laugh,
Seem to smile as if gasping onto bags...
Of contained laughter.
And appear happy for no apparent reason.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm Dead
Forget the girl you used to know,
The one you thought was 'sound'.
Forget the girl you never noticed
And didn't care when she was around.
Forget the girl you used to talk to
But never looked to truly 'see'.
Forget that girl, the world's lost her,
You'll never again see that girl in me.
Forget the girl who laughed at all your jokes,
The one with the nervous smile.
Forget her now because you don't care,
She just entertained you for a while.
Forget the girl that made YOU smile,
She won't do that anymore.
Forget her now until she's just a memory
Of someone you once knew before.
Forget that girl, but, I think you already did
As you picked that other girl instead.
Forget that girl, I've changed my ways
And now that girl is dead.
poem by Fiona Kennedy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Be With You Awhile
I wish I could tell you something you didn't know
I wish I could give you something you didn't owe
I wish I could tell you a joke to make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
Just wanna be that someone you weren't looking for
Some nameless fascination that showed up at your door
And when you're sad and blue my jokes still make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
I just want to take you somewhere you haven't been
Find an old time movie where we don't know the end
Lost in the radio, drive another mile
So I could be with you awhile
Just wanna be that someone you weren't looking for
Some nameless fascination that showed up at your door
And when you're sad and blue my jokes still make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
Tired of serious conversation
Tangled up in situations
I feel so free 'cause you want nothing from me
Just wanna be that someone you weren't looking for
Some hopeless vagabond asleep there on your floor
And when you're old and gray my jokes still make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
Just wanna be that someone you weren't looking for
Some nameless fascination that showed up at your door
And when you're old and gray my jokes still make you smile
And I could be with you awhile
I just want to be with you awhile
I just want to be with you awhile
I just want to be with you...
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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