I invented the cordless extension cord.
quote by Steven Wright
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The progress
Cooking invented, I have lost my teeth.
Tools invented, I have lost my hands
Carts invented, I have lost my legs
Electricity invented, I have lost my sight.
Calculator invented, I have lost counting.
Computer invented, I have lost faculty
Internet come, I lost neigbours.
Is mankind on march to stability?
08.05.2007
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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In America journalism is apt to be regarded as an extension of history: in Britain, as an extension of conversation.
quote by Anthony Sampson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Promise
Those words strike a cord,
a cord so true.
A cord so familiar,
it sounds so much like you.
Did I leave you behind,
I can't really tell.
For in this landscape,
there is no more wishing well.
A good thing or bad,
let time unveil itself,
Hopefully in time, I stand before you,
as a person of wealth.
The medium is the message. This is merely to say that the personal and social consequences of any medium - that is, of any extension of ourselves - result from the new scale that is introduced into our affairs by each extension of ourselves, or by any new technology.
quote by Marshall McLuhan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The world is likely to view any temporary extension of the income tax cuts for the top two percent as a prelude to a long-term or permanent extension, and that would hurt economic recovery as well by undermining confidence that we're prepared to make a commitment today to bring down our future deficits.
quote by Timothy Geithner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Images
Images.
Images invented.
Images invented to cement.
Images invented to cement and limit,
To give images purpose and intent.
A reason to solidify limitations that prevent,
A bombardment of unrestricted imaginations.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
quote by Dan Quayle
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We Should Be Together
We should be together for christmas
Together with the ones we love
The ones we care for
We should be together for christmas
And be there with the ones we love
And not be far away
Thats why they invented planes
So we could fly away
To the ones we love
And be there for this day
We should be together for cristmas
It isnt right to be apart
We could be here wild in our wishes
With all the love thats in my heart
I want you to be here
Thats why they invented trains
So you could ride away
To the one you love
And be here for this day
We should be together
And it never matters where
Anyplace... we dont care
Long as we both are there
Thats why they invented stars
I got no need for cars
Just a wish and I could be there
Where you are
song performed by by Cliff Richard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Wheelwright. For David
The wheelwright worked, as carefully,
yet so fast, as a wheel spins.
One day, someone said to him,
the centre of the wheel never moves.
Infuriated, the wheelwright worked night and day
neglecting his other work,
to prove this was not true;
he invented a wheel which was all rim;
but it still needed a hub, an axle;
but he had invented the flywheel;
his business flourished despite him.
He invented a wheel with a hollow at its centre;
but had to devise a radiating hub;
yet he had invented machinery;
his business thrived.
After many years, he sank back,
beaten by philosophy; reduced to stillness.
Around him, a huge business enterprise;
he, the hub, the axle,
the still centre.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Mummy, Mummy Who Invented School?
mummy, mummy,
who invented school?
oh, sweetheart,
what a clever girl you are;
why don’t you tell me first
who you think invented school?
I think, mummy,
school must have been invented
it must be by people
like old grumpy Uncle Grim
next door;
and the grouchy Aunty Scowl
who lives behind our house
oh no, darling,
oh no, not at all:
O darling,
wise men and women
of the past
they invented school
oh, mummy,
they couldn’t
have been wise
not if you went to school
and see what happens in class;
surely those men and women
of the past
couldn’t have been wise
if they created places
where little kids are tested
every three days;
and little John thinks he’s stupid
and little Sue says she’d rather
stay at home and sleep;
and Tua and Helen are always
tense and nervous
and Chandra snores while the teacher talks
oh no -
oh, no darling,
oh no,
it’s not like that at all:
O darling,
they were wise and all-knowing
those
sage men and women
of the past
who invented school
so little children like you and your friends
can go and learn all you need to know
but why mummy,
why a school?
is it because daddy and you
and grandma and grandpa
you know nothing and
you can’t teach me
what I need to know?
oh, no darling,
oh no not at all;
O darling,
you must listen to mummy -
wise men and women
of the past
most certainly
they invented school
poem by Raj Arumugam
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The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.
quote by Sid Caesar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Bow To The First Man
My Bow to the first man
To the first man and women who born
On this earth
To the first man who eat something
To come out of hungry
TO the first man who made a tent for him
To the first man who invented fire
To cook his food
To the first man who found water
Which satisfy his thirst
To the first man who seeded
First plant to produce food
To the first man who used
Sharp object to kill wild animal
For his survival
To the first man who made horse
As his travel animal
To the first man who found
Agriculture as his necessity
To the first man who invented
Language for communication
To the first man who made his
Life with wife
To the first man who got a child
Of his own to build family
To first man who invented
Pain reliever for wounds
To the first man who invented
Social life by making villages
I bow my head before their feet
And remember them always
poem by Tulasi Suguna Prasad Kalvala
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A Conceited Mistake
Once upon a time there was a mistake
So silly so small
That no one would even have noticed it
It couldn't bear
To see itself to hear of itself
It invented all manner of things
Just to prove
that it didn't really exist
It invented space
To put its proofs in
And time to keep its proofs
And the world to see its proofs
All it invented
Was not so silly
Nor so small
But was of course mistaken
Could it have been otherwise
Trans. Anne Pennington
Anonymous submission.
poem by Vasko Popa
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Merry Christmas From The Family
Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
'Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife MaryNell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel
Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family
Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night
Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family
Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Dite Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family
Feliz Navidad
song performed by by Dixie Chicks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sad To Be Without You
Sad to be without you
Sad to laugh withot you
Sad to live without you
Because I feel that
The umbilical cord
Broke after you died
And I was left behind
Feeling sad that
I was not connected
To that umbilical cord
poem by Aldo Kraas
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I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.
quote by George Bernard Shaw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sonnet: God Keeps Me Safe
Thy ‘tethered animal’ I am, O God,
To Thy divine lamp-post, I have been tied!
Thine cord of Love binds me with Thee, O God,
In Thine meadow I graze: In Thee abide.
Thine cord of Love is not one of bondage!
It gives me enough freedom that I need;
Let it become stronger, thicker with age;
On just the grass you show, let me but feed.
Let me not break Thine cord and run away;
Let me not jump over the fence in haste;
Let me be satisfied with life each day,
And never bolt to alien land to waste.
Within Thy shelter, I am safe, O Lord;
And let me eat and live as per Thy Code.
6-4-2001
poem by John Celes
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A Dialogue Betwixt Cordanus And Amoret, On A Lost Heart
Cord. Distressed pilgrim, whose dark clouded eyes
Speak thee a martyr to love's cruelties,
Whither away?
Amor. What pitying voice I hear,
Calls back my flying steps?
Cord. Pr'ythee, draw near.
Amor. I shall but say, kind swain, what doth become
Of a lost heart, ere to Elysium
It wounded walks?
Cord. First, it does freely flye
Into the pleasures of a lover's eye;
But, once condemn'd to scorn, it fetter'd lies,
An ever-bowing slave to tyrannies.
Amor. I pity its sad fate, since its offence
Was but for love. Can tears recall it thence?
Cord. O no, such tears, as do for pity call,
She proudly scorns, and glories at their fall.
Amor. Since neither sighs nor tears, kind shepherd, tell,
Will not a kiss prevail?
Cord. Thou may'st as well
Court Eccho with a kiss.
Amor. Can no art move
A sacred violence to make her love?
Cord. O no! 'tis only Destiny or Fate
Fashions our wills either to love or hate.
Amor. Then, captive heart, since that no humane spell
Hath power to graspe thee his, farewell.
Cord. Farewell.
Cho. Lost hearts, like lambs drove from their folds by fears,
May back return by chance, but not by tears.]
poem by Richard Lovelace
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Plus and minus is more than zero.
You sapped my soul and snapped the cord
When you left, forever, my company
Because it is you who gave me sap and cord
When you were with me in love harmony.
Maybe no sorrow, had I not courted you.
Maybe no sorrow had you not drifted off.
Pleasure of reminiscence is the end product.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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We have created a new demonstration program to allow families with a sick child who could be helped with a cord blood transplant from a sibling to bank cord blood from newborns should they decide to have another child.
quote by Nathan Deal
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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