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They were saying, 'Keep this under your hat, but Jack Sparrow's going to die in the second movie.' I went, 'You're kidding me. The fans are going to go berserk.'

quote by Geoffrey Rush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jack U Off

If ure looking for somewhere to go
Thought Id take u to a movie show
Sittin in the back and Ill jack u off
I cant give u everything u want
But I can take u to a restaurant
If ure not hungry
Ill jack u off
If your man aint no good
Come on over to my neighborhood
We can jump in the sack and Ill jack u off
If ure tired of the masturbater
Little girl, we can go on a date
And if u like, Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off
I only do it for a worthy cause
Viriginity or menopause
Ull have an instant heart attack if I jack u off
If u really really want to be a star
We gotta do it in your mommas car
Naked in a cadillac, Ill jack u off
If we cant find no place to go
Girl, Ill take u to a movie show, we can sit in the back
And Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, yeah
Yeah, yeah, Ill jack u off
Alright say, well put some funk on here
Ill jack u off
If u aint chicken baby, come here
If ure good Ill even let u steer
As a matter of fact, u can jack me off
Yeah, thats right
Ill jack u off, yeah
Ill jack u off

song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Was Only Kidding

When I said that Id be faithful
When I promised Id be true
When I swore that I could never
Be with anyone but you
When I told you that I loved you
With those tender words I spoke
I was only kidding
Now, cant you take a joke?
When I said that I need you, baby
When I told you that I really care
When I said that I cant live without you
When I said Id follow you anywhere
When I said you could always trust me
When I said Id never leave you flat
Well, guess what? I was only kidding, baby
I cant belieeeeve you fell for that! youre so gullible...
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) you thought that was for real?
I was only kidding
Now Im sorry if you misunderstood, but the fact remains
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) baby, baby, I was...
(I was) only kidding
Well, I guess I got you pretty good, now listen...
When I said that I love you, baby
From the very bottom of my heart
When I said that I miss you so badly
Every second were apart
When I swore that youre just getting more and more
Beautiful every day
Well, I was only kidding, honey
Whats the matter with you anyway? let me tell you something
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) you understand, dont ya?
I was only kidding
Well, I guess it probably hurts you alot, but you gotta know
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) come on now, get a clue
I was only kidding
I really love you... not!
When I said you oughta marry
When I said that we should settle down
Well, I was pullin your leg there, honey
I was just foolin around
You see, I -- I never meant to upset you, darlin
I never meant to hurt anyone
I was only kidding, baby
Why dont you just put down that gun?
Lets talk this over
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) whatch where youre pointing that thing
(I was only kidding)
Hey, Im sorry if your heart is broke... you gotta realize
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) aww, yeah
I was only kidding
Now, honey, cant you take a joke?
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) I didnt lie to you
I was only kidding... yes indeed
(I was only kidding) baby, baby, you know
(I was only kidding) hey!

song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Before Twilight, I did any movie that I got offered. But now fans expectations have doubled and I just can't mess around. Today, I can't afford to be a part of any movie. I have to question a lot more now before I take a project. After all I can't disappoint my fans.

quote by Robert Pattinson
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Kidding

A figure dressed in the finest attire
That money can buy
Laiden with assets to make an impression
On a strangers eye
And he lives in a palace
Surrounded by roses in a perfect picture
Hes in deep with the shallow
Hes fading cause he cant see the sky
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
A dinner with twenty people you hate
And theyre hating you more
Talking politely, its all a show
Tell me what is it for?
And your laugh is tale-telling
They follow but you know youre not a funny man
The truth is the meaning
And your life is that you wouldnt have one
If you were poor
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Yeah. . .
Such a shame, sir
Such a shame
Such a shame
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything, yeah
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody but yourself x5
Nobody. . .
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing
Nobody, kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Nobody, kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you

song performed by by Imogen Heap
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She's Got The Jack

She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played 'em fast
And she played 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, and who knows what else?
She's got the jack, yeah, yeah
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She's got the (Jack), she's got the (Jack)
She's got the (Jack), ooh can't you tell
She's got the (Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack)
(She's got the jack, she's got the Jack)
She's got the jack, she's got the Jack
She's got the jack, you never know!
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, and it hurts!
(She's got the jack)
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Aaaaaah!
Oooooh!
Thank you, thank you, thank you people, thank you, thank you
I'm glad you like the show, yes, thank you very much folks.
Goodnight and God bless

song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think a good way to get in a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big cactus plant onto your buttocks and start yowling and running around. Everyone would think it was funny, and the head movie guy would say, 'Hey, let's put him in the movie.'

Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Well Its True That We Love One Another

Well its true that we love one another
I love jack white like a little brother
Well holly I love you too but theres
Just so much that I dont know about you
Jack give me some money to pay my bills
All the dough I give you holly
You been using on pain pills
Jack will you call me if youre able?
I got your phone number written
In the back of my bible
Jack I think your pulling my leg
And I think maybe I better ask meg
Meg do you think jack really loves me?
You know, I dont care because
Jack really bugs me
Why dont you ask him now?
Well I would meg
I really just dont know how
Just say jack , do you adore me?
Well I would holly but love really bores me
Well maybe we should just be friends
Im just kidding holly
You know that Ill love you til the end
Well its true that we love one another
I love jack white like a little brother
Well holly I love you too but theres
Just so much that I dont know about you
Holly give me some of your english lovin
If I did that jack Id have one in the oven
Why dont you go off and just love yourself
If I did that holly there wont be anything
Left for anybody else
Jack its too bad about the way you look
You know I gave that horse a carrot
So hed break your foot
Will the two of you cut it out
And tell em what its really all about
Well its true that we love one another
I love jack white like a little brother
Well holly I love you too but theres
Just so much that I dont know about you

song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Little Sparrow

Little sparrow
Dolly parton = little sparrow
(chorus)
Little sparrow, little sparrow,
Precious fragile little thing
Little sparrow, little sparrow
Flies so high and feels no pain.
All ye maidens heed my warning
Never trust the hearts of men
They will crush you like a sparrow
Leaving you to never mend.
They will vow to always love you
Swear no love but yours will do
Then theyll leave you for another
Break your little heart in two
Repeat chorus
If I were a little sparrow, over these mountains I would fly
I would find him, I would find him, look into his lying eyes
I would flutter all around him, on my little sparrow wings
I would ask him, I would ask him, why he left me loving him
Repeat chorus
I am not a little sparrow, I am just the broken dream
Of a cold false-hearted lover and his evil cunning scheme
Repeat chorus
All ye maidens fair and tender
Never trust the hearts of men
They will crush you, like a sparrow
Leaving you to never mend.
Little sparrow, little sparrow,
Oh my sorrow never ends.

song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's True That We Love One Another

Well its true that we love one another
I love Jack White like a little brother
Well Holly I love you too but theres just so much
That I dont know about you
Jack give me some money to pay my bills
All the dough I give you Holly
You been using on pain pills
Jack will you call me if youre able?
I got your phone number written
In the back of my bible
Jack I think youre pulling my leg
And I think maybe Id better ask Meg
Meg do you think Jack really loves me?
You know, I dont care because Jack really bugs me
Why dont you ask him now?
Well I would but Meg, I really just dont know how
Just say Jack, do you adore me?
Well I would Holly but love really bores me
Well maybe we should just be friends
Im just kidding Holly
You know that Ill love you til the end
Well its true that we love one another
I love Jack White like a little brother
Well Holly I love you too but theres just so much
That I dont know about you
Holly give me some of your
English lovin
If I did that Jack Id have one in
the oven
Why dont you go off and love yourself
If I did that Holly there
wont be anything left
For anybody else
Jack its too bad
About the way that you look
You know I gave that horse a carrot
So hed break your foot
Will the two of you cut it out
And tell em what Its really all about
Well its true that we love one another
I love Jack White like a little brother
Well Holly I love you too
But theres just so much
That I dont know about you

song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What The Mother Sparrow Later Found Out...

under the jack fruit tree
the young sparrow's wings
are torn apart

caused by a well rounded pebble
fired from the slingshot
of the laughing
child

among his peers
he is called The Hunter...

because the young sparrow
which just alighted
from its nest
could not really fly
that high enough

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nervous Breakdown

Im about to have a nervous breakdown
My head really hurts
If I dont get the hell outta here
Im gonna go berserk, cause
Im crazy and Im hurt
Head on my shoulders
Im going berserk
Always talk the same old talk
The same old lies
You see the way I am
You stop anytime you can, cause
Im crazy and Im hurt
Head on my shoulders
Hm going berserk
Im crazy and Im hurt
Head on my shoulders
Im going berserk

song performed by by Whiskeytown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nervous Breakdown

Im about to have a nervous breakdown
My head really hurts
If I dont get the hell outta here
Im gonna go berserk, cause
Im crazy and Im hurt
Head on my shoulders
Im going berserk
Always talk the same old talk
The same old lies
You see the way I am
You stop anytime you can, cause
Im crazy and Im hurt
Head on my shoulders
Hm going berserk
Im crazy and Im hurt
Head on my shoulders
Im going berserk

song performed by by Whiskeytown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nervous Breakdown

Im about to have a nervous breakdown
My head really hurts
If I dont get the hell outta here
Im gonna go berserk, cause
Im crazy and Im hurt
Head on my shoulders
Im going berserk
Always talk the same old talk
The same old lies
You see the way I am
You stop anytime you can, cause
Im crazy and Im hurt
Head on my shoulders
Im going berserk
Im crazy and Im hurt
Head on my shoulders
Im going berserk

song performed by by Ryan Adams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We've always loved going to the movies. Our mom and dad are big movie fans. They'd take us on these movie orgys where we'd see sometimes three movies in a day.

quote by Andy Wachowski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I have had fans make me the big picture collages of the photo books; I have had fans send me birthday cakes... sing to me on my voicemail. I have had fans flash me. I have had older fans give me their bras and underwear onstage.

quote by Puff Daddy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fans Of Written Word Verse

fans I have no fans
fans are for past dead
fans are for present posers

I am not yet spent dead
I am still one of elite verse doers
I am still among rare word writers

poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sparrow

Who will love a little sparrow
Who's traveled far and cries for rest?
"Not I," said the Oak Tree
"I won't share my branches with no sparrow's nest
And my blanket of leaves won't warm her cold breast"
Who will love a little sparrow
And who will speak a kindly word?
"Not I," said the Swan
"The entire idea is utterly absurd
I'd be laughed at and scorned if the other swans heard."
Who will take pity in his heart
And who will feed a starving sparrow?
"Not I," said the Golden Wheat
"I would if I could but I cannot I know
I need all my grain to prosper and grow"
Who will love a little sparrow?
Will no one write her eulogy?
"I will," said the Earth
"For all I've created returns unto me
From dust were ye made and dust ye shall be

song performed by by Simon & Garfunkel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Flights

Little sparrow, little sparrow
The prince is gone
Romance and magic flown
Little sparrow, little sparrow
Why do you circle round,

Round the hospital ground
And courtyard littered, concrete
Of facade gray, fading yellow red
Flocks and flocks a circling

Circling to escape sun beams
Seek holes and niches
Crevices and crannies
To nest in concrete

Tweeting calling, thrill of flight
Come in bands and crowds
Crowds and flocks
Each no bigger than my palm

Magpii and magi
Bewithcing souls of flight
And never landing, in my sight

Little sparrow little sparrow
What secret do you know
Impels you to go and fly about

poem by Shimon Weinroth
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jack Cornstalk

Jack Cornstalk as a drover born,
Jack Cornstalk gaunt and tan,
Jack Cornstalk leaves his love forlorn,
Jack Cornstalk man to man.
Jack Cornstalk as a careless scamp,
With day-dreams in his head;
Jack Cornstalk on his lone, wide camp,
Jack Cornstalk with his dead,
Jack Cornstalk at his best and worst.
The day dawns on his brow,
Jack Cornstalk’s country must be first –
Advance Australia now!

poem by Henry Lawson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Why should I feel discouraged
Why should the shadows come
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for heaven and home
When Jesus is my portion
A constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches
I know He watches
I know He watches me
I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
He watches me
I know
He watches
Me

song performed by by Lauryn Hill
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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