When I got a telly we had no aerial, but I discovered that if I or one of the children stood by it you could get a picture. So I had to make a statue that could stand by the telly.
quote by Beryl Bainbridge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
My Telly's Gone Bung
My telly's gone bung
What am I to do about the ABC
My telly's gone bung
What am I to do about my predicament
My telly's gone bung
I plugged it it in and it turned me off again
I've waited up for you
To come alive and bring some truth back to me yeah
Cos I'm where I wanna be in front of my TV
My telly's gone bung
What am I to do about Kylie & Jason now
My telly's gone bung
I don't really care for their predicament
I've waited up for you
To come alive and bring some truth back to me yeah
Cos I'm where I wanna be in front of my TV
If it was up to me
I'd let these people see
What people do
I've been watching you too
I've waited up for you
To come alive and bring some truth back to me yeah
Cos I'm where I wanna be in front of my TV
If it was up to me
I would let these lovely people see
If it was up to me
If it was up to me
If it was up to me
If it was up to me
If it was up to me
song performed by by Crowded House
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
It's Your Life
It's up to you
What you can do
You're left with all your choices
You're in the clear
Another beer
Will quiet all the voices
But its your life
and i certainly wouldn telly ou what to do
But youre living like you havent got a clue
But its your life
And i realize youre living out your dreams
But the end just might be closer than it seems
I know just what you think
You're on the brink of being someone
Close to the top but will you flop
cuz you forgot where you came from
Ih ope you realize that its gone soon
Who's gonna love you if you hate yourself
But its your life
and i certainly wouldn telly ou what to do
But youre living like you havent got a clue
But its your life
And i realize youre living out your dreams
But the end just might be closer than it seems
If I would have known
What i know today
I guess i wouldnt have it
Any other way
But its your life
and i certainly wouldn telly ou what to do
But youre living like you havent got a clue
But its your life
And i realize youre living out your dreams
But the end just might be closer than it seems
song performed by by Goldfinger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Up The Junction
I never thought it could happen
With me and the girl from clapham
Out on a windy common
That night I aint forgotten
When she dealt out the rations
With some or other passions
I said you are a lady
Perhaps she said I maybe
We moved into a basement
With thoughts of our engagement
We stayed in by the telly
Although the room was smelly
We spent our time just kissin
The runway arms we missin
But love had got us hooked up
And all our time it took up
I got a job with stanley
He said Id come in handy
He started me on monday
So I had a bath on sunday
I worked eleven hours
And bought the girl some flowers
She said shed seen a doctor
And nothing now could stop her
I worked all through the winter
The weather brass and bitter
I put away a tenner
Each week to make her better
And when the time was ready
We had to sell the telly
And make evenings by the fire
And little kicks inside her
This moring at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
And thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another
And now shes two years older
Her mothers with a soldier
She left me when my drinking
Became a proper stinging
The devil came and took me
From bar to street to bookie
No more nights by the telly
No more nights nappies smelling
Alone here in the kitchen
I feel theres something missing
Id beg for some forgiveness
But beggings not my business
And she wont write a letter
Although I always tell her
And so its my assumption
Im really up the junctio
song performed by by Goldfinger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Me Telly's On The Blink: : Humour
Hello Bob, it's Archie, me telly's on the blink
Without me telly on it's even hard for me to think
I watch it of an evening snuggled up beneath me doona
Can you come round. Not later, I'd rather it were sooner
'Cos every night I watch it and it helps me cop some Zed's
It calms me down and stops all thoughts from spinnin' in me 'ead
Can you tell me Archie, exactly what's wrong with your television
Describe the symptoms to me with clarity and precision
It's got these annoyin' lines that are runnin' up and down
Are you sure they're vertical replied Bob with a puzzled frown
Your TV as I remember is quite an ancient beast
It's been at least two decades since that model was released
One of that era would surely have lines of a horizontal direction
Are you sure they're vertical, after considered reflection
'Course I know me vertical from me horizontal slant
Get over here now, I can't stand all day and rant
But Archie, your television is resting on its side
So horizontal seems vertical, if logic be applied
'Course I watch it like that, I'm lying in me bed
And it saves me the trouble of havin' ta lift me 'ead
(Sydney, Australia - 2010)
poem by Alessandra Liverani
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Smile On You
Willy jackson, stanley davies, spencer cliss
Rosita delicious, sandy hooker
No money
You telly, lilly
And you willy
Think Im just another fool
Spilky skuller, spencer cliss
Think I am a little freak
Willy jackson, all the others
Think I am a little weak
Snoopy slender, random toxy
Think I dont know where to go
My reaction if I meet them
Is just ho ho ho
No money
You telly, lilly
And you willy
Think Im just another fool
Jackson wallace, smady menko
Think I am a little freak
Rosita delicious, sammy schmaltz
Think I am too weak
Snoopy slender, random toxy
Think I dont know where to go
My reaction if I meet them
Is just ho ho ho
No money
You telly, lilly
And you willy
Think Im just another fool
Thank you very very much ladies and gentlemen
You still are programmed
Of your local radio station
Thats not just giving you another feature
We are presenting you the truth
The truth about human beings
The truth about human desire
The truth about human eyes
The truth about human faces
The truth about everybody
The truth about you
song performed by by Yello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Smile On You
Willy jackson, stanley davies, spencer cliss
Rosita delicious, sandy hooker
No money
You telly, lilly
And you willy
Think Im just another fool
Spilky skuller, spencer cliss
Think I am a little freak
Willy jackson, all the others
Think I am a little weak
Snoopy slender, random toxy
Think I dont know where to go
My reaction if I meet them
Is just ho ho ho
No money
You telly, lilly
And you willy
Think Im just another fool
Jackson wallace, smady menko
Think I am a little freak
Rosita delicious, sammy schmaltz
Think I am too weak
Snoopy slender, random toxy
Think I dont know where to go
My reaction if I meet them
Is just ho ho ho
No money
You telly, lilly
And you willy
Think Im just another fool
Thank you very very much ladies and gentlemen
You still are programmed
Of your local radio station
Thats not just giving you another feature
We are presenting you the truth
The truth about human beings
The truth about human desire
The truth about human eyes
The truth about human faces
The truth about everybody
The truth about you
song performed by by Yello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I thought they were staring at me because I was gay. But it was because I was on the telly.
quote by Julian Clary
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
We're all born bald, baby.
quote by Telly Savalas
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.
quote by Allan Carr
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
History Lesson For A Schoolteacher
'Henry the Eight had five wifes and a headmistress! '
'Churchill is that dog that can't sing and sells insurance on the telly! '
To children growing up into this Brave New World
...even recent history is ancient history
and is already begining to sound mythlogical!
poem by Dónall Dempsey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
To Be Alone
To Be Alone
Solitude brings peace but not for long, being alone brings
restiveness, a longing for a voice even if it speaks banal
utterances. Silence doesn’t make a man whole he needs
to hear voices, to make sure we are not alone in a world
full of noises that means nothing for the basic needs of
daily life. Simple things like “what’s on telly darling? ”
if we do not listen carefully we lose love behind words
of domestic murmour. If we lose the ability to listen out
for the ordinary we lose the big picture, our remoteness
becomes agonizing, like a constant hum of melancholy.
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
My old dog Keith
I once had a dog called Keith
who had one eye and no teeth
so he had a bark and no bite
in fact he looked a bit of a sight.
Keith loved to lie on his belly
especially when watching the telly
because he didn't have any teeth
he couldn't chew meat like beef.
So when he was watching his telly
he'd get stuck into bowls of jelly
at night we couldn't go to the park
as Keith was afraid of the dark.
Keith was a very strange dog
he was afraid of even a frog
when one jumped on his back
old Keith nearly had a heart attack.
He was scared of birds and cats
and flies, and wasps, and gnats,
he was petrified of a mouse
he ran and hid all over the house..
Looking back I think he was insane
because everything scared him even rain
but I really loved old Keith
with his single eye and no teeth.
He may not have been very brave
but I'm grateful for the loyalty he gave
he'll be brave now in doggy paradise
as they'd be no frogs or mice.
In canine heaven he'll have two eyes and teeth
he'll be top dog now will my old Keith!
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I care more about telly because it made me an actor and there's a much more immediate response to TV. You can address the political or cultural fabric of your country.
quote by Christopher Eccleston
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!
There was a young girl called Jelly,
She liked to watch the telly,
She did no harm,
Owned a potato farm,
And then wound up with a very big belly.
quote by by Elsie Padgett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
It takes time and energy, and if I'm working, then I'd rather flop in front of the telly than put on a tiny dress and work out how to get myself to God knows where. I mean, lazy some would call it.
quote by Daisy Donovan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
It definitely puts a strain on family life - I miss them like mad. Being a working mother I've been juggling house and career from day one. I want to hold out for telly for the second half of the year.
quote by Louise Jameson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I would hate not to do a play every couple of years. I think it's not me. I did four or five years in telly, and by the end of it was drained.
quote by Matthew Macfadyen
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!
Turn up your radio. Watch lots of telly and eat loads of choc. Feel guilty. Stay up all night. Learn everything in six hours that has taken you two years to compile. That's how I did it.
quote by Dawn French
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Spirits Of Ancient Egypt
Youre my baby and I love you
You can take a pound of love
And cook it in the stew . . . . .
When youve finished doing that
I know what youll want to do
cos youre my baby and I love you
Im your baby -- do you love me?
I can drive a cadillac
Across the irish sea
But when Ive finished doing that
I know where Ill want to be
cos Im your baby, and you love me.
Spirits of ancient egypt
Shadows of ancient rome
Spirits of ancient egypt
Hung on the telly
Hung on the telly
Hung on the telephone . . . .
Youre my baby, I know you know
You could sell an elevator
To geronimo
And when youve finished doing that
I know where youll want to go
cos youre my baby, I know you know
Spirits of ancient egypt
Echoes of sunken spain
Spirits of ancient egypt
Hung on the phone
A-hung on the phone
A-hung on the phone
. . . . . again . . . . .
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!