If it wasn't for golf, I'd probably still be a caddy.
quote by George Archer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart.
quote by Robert Redford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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For My Dad
When I fall you lift me up.
When I cry you cheer me up.
When i get into fights you say it alright.
And thats why I love you with all my might.
When I play golf you are my caddy.
But at home your are my #1 daddy! !
For my dad he is the best and he will always be the BEST! !
poem by Dhear Vongjalorn
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Refuse To Be Inoculated
The best way to avoid a virus,
Is to not go near the plague.
And refuse to be inoculated,
To stimulate antibodies...
From anybody wearing a tuxedo,
Accompanied by a caddy...
Carrying a golf bag!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hang Down Your Head Kelly Tilghman
This time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be
Down in some lonesome valley
Hangin' from a white oak tree (The Kingston Trio)
Kelly thought she was being cute,
Kelly thought she had made a funny,
Golf Central would not fire her,
As she is a woman,
Not being Rush, Imus, Jimmy the Greek Snyder,
They were men.
She is of course blonde, so is Caitlin Upton,
Maybe that explains the fact,
Golf Central would not fire her.
She stated that the only way the upcoming golfer would defeat Tiger Woods,
If they would beat him up, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan,
Further more they should 'lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.'
If the KKK would have been paying her I would understand,
But if, not she could have been playing bedroom course,
She could have been playing on the course where there is easy “lay” on the turf,
She was a caddy to Arnold Palmer,
She could have kissed his balls while he ventured out the first ho’,
That would make his putter stand up.
Golf Central still would not fire her.
(1-13-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Never Had a Dream to Drive a Caddy
I've stopped adulterous...
Unemotional,
Needs to please my own heat.
And I've left behind,
A selfish mind...
Freed of deceits to bleed.
And I've been on my knees,
Without door keys..
To open any one for me.
And I was in disguise,
With a nose held high.
Thinking the weak were diseased.
And I've celebrated,
With fake faces...
Who were empty of any deed.
And I've made mistakes,
To have heartbreaks...
With bitter pity felt so deep.
But I've never had,
A dream...
To drive,
A 'Caddy'!
Not one dream did I ever have,
To drive....
A 'Caddy'!
Oh I've been on my knees,
Without door keys..
To open any one for me.
And I was in disguise,
With a nose held high.
Thinking the weak were diseased.
And I've celebrated,
With fake faces...
Who were empty of any deed.
But I've never had a dream...
To drive,
A 'Caddy'!
Not one dream did I ever have,
To drive....
A 'Caddy'!
NOTE:
A 'caddy' is a luxurious Amemican made car.
Formally called a Cadillac.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The pat on the back, the arm around the shoulder, the praise for what was done right and the sympathetic nod for what wasn't are as much a part of golf as life itself.
quote by Gerald R. Ford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it.
A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.
quote by Jack Nicklaus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.
quote by Michelle Wie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.
I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.
quote by Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It takes having your golf peak four different times throughout the year. You have to like all four golf courses. You've got to be the best of that week for the four weeks.
quote by Karrie Webb
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I like going there for golf. America's one vast golf course these days.
quote by Edward VIII
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
quote by George Deukmejian
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We know that golf is an ancient game with great history and tradition, but our golf is only 10 years old so don't judge us too harshly.
quote by Nursultan Nazarbayev
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
quote by John Updike
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It Was How I Remember And That’s Not How It Was
It may have been Classic, yet not elegant
It may have been Love, yet not romantic
It may have been hidden, yet not unforeseen
Yet none came to you
It was my brother’s irreplaceable companion and his little sister
It was my brother’s incredulity and his greatest suspicion
It was my brother’s settlement and his authorization
Yet none came to you
It wasn’t my dream and it wasn’t my fantasy
It wasn’t my concern and it wasn’t my guarantee
It wasn’t my content and it wasn’t my sorrow
It may have been my mother’s hope, yet not her premonition
And now its my animosity