I got confused. I thought it was a K.Y. scare, so I bought 2000 jars of personal lubricant. I still have some.
quote by Julie Brown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
No permanent lover
When each dress I bought
I thought it was the best
That I had ever bought.
When each woman I love
I believe she is the dearest
That I have ever met.
Today stands the best
Till tomorrow replaces it.
No love is exc; usive.
25.03.2000, Palakkad
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Franks 2000 Tv
Risin above the city, blocking out the noonday sun
It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone
I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block
What a lucky guy, I hear he got the last one in stock
And the neighbors are just green
They say, thats the biggest screen weve ever seen!
Its franks 2000 tv (franks 2000 tv)
Everbody come and see(franks 2000 tv)
Franks 2000 tv (franks 2000 tv)
Thats franks remote control, you can look, but dont touch it, please
cause franks the one in charge and he decides what everybody sees
The pictures crystal clear and everything is magnified
Robert deniros mole has got to be ten feet wide
Everybody in the town
Can hear those 90,000 watts of dolby sound
And Im mighty proud to say
Now I can watch the simpsons from thirty blocks away
On franks 2000 tv (franks 2000 tv)
Everybody come and see (franks 2000 tv)
Franks 2000 tv (franks 2000 tv)
Everybody come and see (franks 2000 tv)
Im gonna get one of my own real soon
Its like having a drive-in movie in your own living room
Whoa, hey now... hey now na na na now
Hey now... hey now na na now
Franks 2000 tv (franks 2000 tv)
Everybody come and see (franks 2000 tv)
Franks 2000 tv (franks 2000 tv)
Got a two year warranty on parts and labor
Franks 2000 tv (franks 2000 tv)
Franks 2000 tv
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Confused
I am confused with love and fear.
I am confused with the taste of my tear.
I am confused of where I'll go.
I am confused of what I'll know.
I am confused of whos my family.
I am confused of what makes me happy.
I am confused by what I do.
I am confused of what's true.
I am confused by your touch.
I am confused oh so much.
poem by Jean Pullman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
2000 Miles
Theres something I need to say
Im not sad youre gone away no way
Wont be calling information
Or waiting at the railway station
You walked out of my front door
I wasnt then but now Im sure
I need to be at least 2000 miles away from you
2000 miles away from you
2000 miles away from you
2000 miles away from you
2000 miles away from you
Had to get me to the church on time
To say that silly I do I do nursery rhyme
Youve been bitching at me for awhile
Say hey now baby dont you cramp my style
Dont go beating me like that
Im glad I wont be coming back
I need to be at least 2000 miles away from you
2000 miles away from you
2000 miles away from you
2000 miles away from you
2000 miles away from you
song performed by by Erasure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My own love
When I told I loved you, did I scare you away? When I told you I loved you?
Did it make you want to stay?
How precious these days are? I just can not say?
I love you more than I ever knew.
I been waiting to meet you, and the day finally came.
I felt you in my soul, you were the other part of me.
Now your here and I am complete...
When I told I loved you, did I scare you away? When I told you I loved you?
Did it make you want to stay?
You are my dream lover, my best friend, without you, I am not complete.....
I been waiting for you and I even met you in my dreams......
I had love so confused and I made all my mistakes and I thought it was you.....
When I told I loved you, did I scare you away? When I told you I loved you?
Did it make you want to stay?
Tell me you love and just don't go away.....
poem by Sita Cabrera
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Lose The Respect And Reputation?
Entering into somebody's house,
Scare while one goes into,
Scare while one returns from,
Scare while one is enjoying the desire,
Scare while one is trying to hide his activities from others;
While there is fear and scare forever,
why one does not consider the risk
of entering into somebody's house,
of desirous to have contact with somebody's wife
and lose the respect and reputation? (naalatiyaar 83)
There is always fear of
Sexually Transmitted Disease,
Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome,
Beware of your activity!
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Personal law is simply the thought that controls your mind and your life more than any other thought. Finding that thought is the most valuable knowledge that you can have about yourself. It is like the leverage on personal change. It enables you to change very efficiently.
quote by Leonard Orr
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Fifty Marbels
Fifty years of marbeles
Pulled from our jars
One by one
Shared with the love of each other
We've watched as the years melted away
Oh how it seemed like only yesterday
When things were all brand new
Now after these fifty years
Whats left in our jars
Are meant for us to renew
All the good times togather
With all those we met on the way
For when the jars go empty
On to the Lord
We'll spend our days
poem by David Kush
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Jars
The second she was born, they put bits of her in jars,
placenta was the first, that went in the jar,
oh yah, it went straight in the jar.
Then when she was 4, her tonsils, what's more,
her adenoids too were all put in jars,
oh yah, they went straight in the jar.
Hospitals, such strange places, all antiseptic and large
and medics are prone to examine, you know,
all those bodily parts left in jars.
So getting back to the story, appendicitis was next,
and sure as the first two small stanza's
you can guess where appendix went next.
For a while they left her alone, in tact and therefore unharmed
but as soon as she turned 47
they put more of her bits in those jars.
Her uterus and her cervix along with her ovaries too
and next on the list was a very small cyst
that they put in a jar labeled blue.
By the time this poor lady was 60
there wasn't much left I'm afraid, but at least when she died
she was tiny and the coffin was perfect sized.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Personal
Anything you want from me
Ill do
But first
Lets get personal
Personal
Personal
Personal
Lets get personal
Personal
Personal
Personal
Personal with you
Were sittin havin dinner at your parents home
Some of the finest food Ive ever known
But I need some sweetness on my tongue
And it aint a type of sugar oh no
So maybe we can go somewhere
Neighbour room girl I dont care
Wheres the bedroom
(its upstairs)
Ill meet you there in a minute
Girl so we can get
Lets get personal (ooh yeah)
Personal (tight baby)
Personal (maybe we can get)
Personal (just a little, just a little bit)
Lets get personal (ooh yay)
Personal (I wanna get personal)
Personal (come on baby, just trust me)
Personal (I wanna get)
Personal with you
Im behind you in your bedroom with your hands against the wall
But keeping one eye on the door
Got your t-shirt and your panties on
Ooh I feel so right, cant be wrong, no
I know you like it when I touch you there
Girl just keep it quiet or theyll hear
Feel the tremblin all down your leg
Id love to head to your bed
So that we can get
Personal
Shhh
Should I take off my clothes (no)
Put the lock on the door
Let go of your deepest inhibitions
Let me fulfil your fantasies girl
Like me touching you there (yeah)
The way that I play with your hair
Emotions running wild until we stop
Yeah
Lets get personal (ooh baby)
Personal (I wanna get personal with you)
Personal (we can do anything you wanna do)
Personal (whoah)
Lets get personal (when you rub and youre close to me)
Personal (feel the fire just like ecstasy)
Personal (girl and the way that youre touching me I want it baby all the time)
Personal
Personal with you
Oh I want to
Make love to you
So lets
Get personal
Let me be
Your fantasy
Youre all
I need oh girl
Lets get personal
Personal (with every little thing you do)
Personal (its like ecstasy baby)
Personal (when Im right when Im back next to you)
Personal (girl I dont give a damn about)
Personal (whos that saw, go downstairs)
Personal (I just wanna get personal baby)
Personal (so bad makes me wanna say)
Oh whoa whoa whoa
It makes me wanna say
Oh whoa whoa whoa
All of my people say
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
song performed by by Craig David
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Uplift
On one whole bottle "uplifting!"
There is no telling what I'll do
Run head first into traffic
A mindset of annihilation
No sense makes sense
You can't get bought without thought
Ahh... no sense makes sense
You can't get bought without thought inside
Your head now
Uplift - uplifting
Uplifting now
On hallucinogenic "uplift"
I can step out of my body
Religion is in myself
I'll split my head in two and see you twice
No sense makes sense
You can't get bought without thought
Ahh... no sense makes sense
You can't get bought without thought inside
your head now
Uplift... uplifting
Uplifting now...
Uplifting you now...
Give me alcohol extremeties
Instead of proofless christianity
Drunked up in a coma place
Critics disgusted
song performed by by Pantera from Reinventing The Steel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
quote by Steve Allen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Too Personal
Youre to to to too personal
Youre to to to too personal
Well you keep talking about love -
Well what do you want
We have fun alright - so what do you want
The idea of fate its all in the mind
We are the ones who control our own time
Look dont get me wrong
But if you keep on Im gonna go
Youre to to to too personal
Youre to to to too personal
You say everyones lonely and insecure
All because of living in hate and fear
Well if love is possession baby you better change
No ones gonna keep me in those chains
Look dont get me wrong
But if you keep on Im gonna go
Forget your personal problems
Think about somebody else
Im gonna think about them - right now
Youre to to to too personal
Youre to to to too personal
Youre to to to too personal
Youre to to to too personal
song performed by by Billy Idol
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Black Maria
Black maria, you scare me so
I feel as though my heart stop dead
Youre a liar, this I know
I watch you go around my head
Oh, Im going down slow
You scare me so
Oh, you never let go
You scare me so
Gay deceiver, my eyes they burned
My insides turned, my brain it rolled
Unbeliever, but now Ive learned
I took my turn, I come up cold
song performed by by Todd Rundgren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Personal Attention
Personal attention
a gifted child leads
Personal attention
an average child needs
Personal attention
at risk child pleads
Personal attention
an autistic child deeds
Personal attention
a parent plants the seeds
Personal attention
is what every child needs
Thus..Personal attention
is what every teacher heeds
poem by Robert John Meehan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I decline all noisy, wordy, confused, and personal controversies.
quote by Josiah Warren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
16-bit Intel 8088 chip
with an Apple Macintosh
you can't run Radio Shack programs
in its disc drive.
nor can a Commodore 64
drive read a file
you have created on an
IBM Personal Computer.
both Kaypro and Osborne computers use
the CP/M operating system
but can't read each other's
handwriting
for they format (write
on) discs in different
ways.
the Tandy 2000 runs MS-DOS but
can't use most programs produced for
the IBM Personal Computer
unless certain
bits and bytes are
altered
but the wind still blows over
Savannah
and in the Spring
the turkey buzzard struts and
flounces before his
hens.
poem by Charles Bukowski
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Give allowance to vigilance
The one who was uxorious,
might, nevertheless, have a mistress,
as infidelity is not disloyalty.
Loyalty and infidelity
are not to be confused with each other.
Ergo, you men and women,
never ever demand your spouses
about the truth of their affairs.
24.12.2000, Pmdi
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
One of your tasks is to separate the ""personal"" from the ""substantive."" The two can become confused, especially if someone rubs the President wrong.
quote by Donald Rumsfeld
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Blows to the Head
the rules were laid
inside his head
in block cement
we had to take a hammer
to his skull
to break the hardening
of thought and mind
set free the demons
of his passion
allow
the precious seed
of wisdom
to sprout
in fingers
of his art
a becoming of
rare significance
too great to be ignored.
(Previously published in Poetic License, July 2000; Poetry Soul To Soul, Oct.2000)
poem by Laurence Overmire
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!