Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
quote by Steve Allen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Leopard
Leopards with their spots
Four legged polka dots
Jaguars too have spots
Leopard have densely spots
Jaguars have central spots
You and I call them spots
But Zoologist calls them
'Rosettes' which doesn't rhyme with spots.
Better to call them 'spots'
because it rhymes with 'dots.'
Helps Me Helps You
Look at all the toys I got
Look at all the things I need
Look at all the toys I got
Look at all the mouths I feed
Have I got a wonderful deal for you
What belongs to me belongs to you
I understand what youre going through
I know the point to push you to
My policy helps me helps you
Generosity helps me helps you
Conspiracy helps me helps you
Put you trust in me Ill help you too
Look at all the things Ive done
Look at all the rights I wrong
The means will justify the end
For you to save and me to spend
Cos Ive got a great idea you see
What belongs to you belongs to me
I know just what you wanna do
I know how I can get there too
Hypocrisy helps me helps you
Democracy helps me helps you
Ideology helps me helps you
Put your trust in me Ill help you through
(hirst/moginie)
song performed by by Midnight Oil
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Class has a sense of humor. It knows that a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations. Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes. Class bespeaks an aristocracy unrelated to ancestors or money. Some extremely wealthy people have no class at all, while others who are struggling to make ends meet are loaded with it. Class is real. You can't fake it. Class never tries to build itself up by tearing others down. Class is already up and need not attempt to look better by making others look worse. Everyone is comfortable with the person who has class because he is comfortable with himself. If you have class, you've got it made. If you don't have class, no matter what else you have, it won't make up for it.
quote by Ann Landers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Please, O God of Humor
Please, O God of Humor, give me the gift of being funny
naturally funny
so I can produce poetry and verse that tickles
and makes readers laugh so much their coins roll out of their wallets;
and let the children roll on the floor when my poems are recited;
for indeed my humor is the worst online by any standard
(or lack of standard)
for when I publish poems meant to be funny
my readers never understand me
and what I thought funny, they think tragic
and what I thought was tickle-tickle material
they find pathetic and practically laughable;
I am lectured to or consoled by readers
when I attempt humor;
I am sent e-mails and spam of advice
and words of caution when I attempt to be witty;
and my 113th poem
on the funny side of social networking
brought sympathy and pity for my lack of friends
but no appreciation for what I thought was funny;
and my 213th poem on old ladies at banks
brought outrage at me for hanging out at banks to ogle at wealthy, old ladies;
my 3131th poem on religion, the Divine
and its Power-packed representatives on Planet Earth
provoked no laughter but the ire and wrath of the other God
(you know, not you the Laughing God,
but the Other One, the Only One, the Angry Jealous God)
really neither man nor beast
nor the Highest Being in heaven
truly
nobody laughs at my verse
and nobody finds my offbeat humor at all funny;
Oh please,
God of Humor,
please make my humor a little like that of
Mr Bean or Jim Carrie
so I can have a universal audience
that will laugh at anything I write
(and perhaps incidentally, I’ll make some money)
and then they’ll all say:
See what the God of Humor and Laughter has done
for that simpleton Raj who never knew what humor in poetry is…
Please God of Humor, won't you humor me?
poem by Raj Arumugam
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
quote by Victor Borge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our minds thus grow in spots and like grease spots, the spots spread. But we let them spread as little as possible we keep unaltered as much of our old knowledge, as many of our old prejudices and beliefs, as we can.
quote by James Truslow Adams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our minds thus grow in spots and like grease spots, the spots spread. But we let them spread as little as possible we keep unaltered as much of our old knowledge, as many of our old prejudices and beliefs, as we can.
quote by William James
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Morning Humor
Slippery jack, no more turning back,
All around, morning humor
I am a waiter and I am a server
Ill run to your needs with strength and fervor
In times when you are wasted I will walk in
Through the door, pick you from the floor
Then watch you grow into a man
With a big burly beard
And a mustache to match
Ill watch you love the world
And all that it has...
With that morning humor,
Morning humor
The kind that wakes you up
The kind thats in my blood
Morning humor, morning humor, yeah...
I am on top again, soon to be low again
Oh will this ever end?
Im sorry I dont mean to sound like a whale
Trapped in the ice, but aint it nice to say exactly
What I please...
With a big toney voice or a
Soft mellow voice or the
Loud boisterous voice of an opera, opera lady!
With that morning humor,
Morning humor
The kind that wakes you up.
The kind thats in my blood
Morning humor, morning humor, yeah...
But the joke that kills
Is just a joke to you
You need some...
Slippery jack, no more turning back,
All around, morning humor
The kind that wakes you up
The kind thats in my blood...
Morning humor...
song performed by by Live
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You:
You
Your smile gets me through the day,
Your laugh helps me find my way,
Your eyes make me wanna stay,
Your hug makes me wanna say,
I love you, I love you, I do.
Your presence helps me make it through,
Your kindness lets me see the lies aren't true,
Your compassion lifts me up when I'm blue,
Your humor makes me laugh longer than you,
I love you, I love you, I do...
poem by Daimon Ferguson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Art of Humor
The parody, the comic
The irony, the slapstick
The comedy, the joke
There are many names of humor
A little flirt, a bit sway
A random bait, a strike catch
A prick of crack, a needed pain
So far we go just for humor
Because it is fun, because it is crazy
Because it is refreshing, because it brings laugh
Lightening the mood, building emotion
Always use humor in a good way
The situation, the mimic
The trap, the surprise
The movement, the style
Only human could understand humor
The witty question, the innocence answer
The spontaneous expression, the awaited performance
The dilemma, the mistake
Everything could turn into humor
To tease, to distract
To criticize, to attract
To break the ice, to open the gag
Don't take humor too serious
In critical condition, in awkward moment
In relaxing time, in happy hour
In strange fact, in life experience
Do you know that God also has a sense of humor?
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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A Little Bit Of Sunshine
A little bit of sunshine every day,
Helps to keep the rain clouds far away.
A little bit of sunshine, for your soul,
Helps you to weather even bitter cold.
A little bit of sunshine in your week,
Helps pull you out of bed, when you are sick.
A little bit of sunshine on your brain,
Helps get out all bad feelings, and mental strain.
A little bit of sunshine in your life,
Helps you to deal, with all your stress and strife.
A little bit of sunshine at the start,
Can even help to heal a broken heart.
6/26/10 Alton Texas
poem by Juan Olivarez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Who Knows What I Did But Its Funny
Maybe is humor
Who
Laughs now.
Who is to say
how many more times
one is to be erase
from ever been.
Funny is reason
Where none seem apparent
But Who is to understand humor
better than Who understands laughter
Who knows
Who cares
Is humor Who laughs now.
poem by Gengis Capote
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I got confused. I thought it was a K.Y. scare, so I bought 2000 jars of personal lubricant. I still have some.
quote by Julie Brown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Offended vanity is the great separator in social life.
quote by Arthur Helps
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our Life
Our life appears akin the floor
Of mosaic tiles, spotted, three hues;
Each tile denotes a month that passed;
The spots refer to good and bad!
Umpteen are grey spots – venial sins,
By habit done, incessantly;
The fewer black spots – mortal sins,
Against the Ten Commands of God!
The spots of white were good deeds done;
Some tiles had few, some had galore;
The size of dots too varied much;
Such tiles were scarcely found and rare!
We yearn to see the floor all tiled,
With spots of white, all huge and bright;
Yet, earthly life is what we make
By labour, done in heaven’s light!
(24-07-11)
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hours of Sleep
5 (or fewer) does damage,
6 restores rationality,
7 provides patience,
8 gives good humor,
9 helps heal,
10 sustains the soul.
These numbers
hold true
for adults
like you;
Each hour
plus two
is what kids
should do.
poem by Judi Brooks
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It's not about doing over the living room of someone who has bad taste in color. This is about restoring historic buildings and instilling pride in a community, which can be done through designing new public spaces and social gathering spots.
quote by Genevieve Gorder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The American public highly overrates its sense of humor. We're great belly laughers and prat fallers, but we never really did have a real sense of humor. Not satire anyway. … When we realize finally that we aren't God's given children, we'll understand satire. Humor is really laughing off a hurt, grinning at misery.
quote by Bill Mauldin
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Social Plague
It's a joy in the life of being me
Social changes
The blackest dust can cover their eyes so they can't see
Social stages
The children modify their own monopoly
Social changes
The KKK wants their own STV
Social places
You must understand that I'm made this way
Don't give a damn if you can't change
Your little narrow mind today
I can't wait for the changes
You can't understand my rage
This thing's going on too long
I can't understand it
Social plague now
2000 strong, they back up white supremacy and I can't take it
I can't take it
Can't prove a thing, one day they'll see
That I'm staying
Within this shell there lies a menace to the core
We can't change it
That's the day when there be no more
Social changes
song performed by by 24-7 Spyz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Social Security not only helps Americans enjoy a secure retirement, it has also kept millions of Americans out of poverty.
quote by Zoe Lofgren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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